I'm sure this will get a comment or two, but it's something we've thought about and have read about on other sites.
NASCA states about swinging: "Though single men and women are involved, it is primarily an activity of couples.".
So is a single person considerd to be in the lifestyle when they are looking to connect with a couple or single ? It'll be interesting to hear what others have to say. To us, being in the lifestyle means exchanging partners - which means sex between couples. If we bring a single woman in to play it's not swinging - it's being intimate with a third. He/she cannot be considered a swinger because they have no spouse/significant other to participate with them and they're acting alone.
The lifstyle is all about sharing ones self and partner with another couple who feel the same way.
NASCA states about swinging: "Though single men and women are involved, it is primarily an activity of couples.".
So is a single person considerd to be in the lifestyle when they are looking to connect with a couple or single ? It'll be interesting to hear what others have to say. To us, being in the lifestyle means exchanging partners - which means sex between couples. If we bring a single woman in to play it's not swinging - it's being intimate with a third. He/she cannot be considered a swinger because they have no spouse/significant other to participate with them and they're acting alone.
The lifstyle is all about sharing ones self and partner with another couple who feel the same way.
Ok so when you bring in a single women is your huband a swinger since he is with another partner? There a many people in the lifestyle that only have mfm's of fmf's so how would you classify them? For the most part I can agree with you. Swinging is the exchange of parnters for sex. To each their own and enjoy it how ever you like it!
What does Funk&Wagnall's say?
We don't argue that many couples enjoy MMF and FFM get togethers. We like it to!
What were saying is to call yourself a swinger and be single really doesn't fit the description of being in the lifestyle.
What were saying is to call yourself a swinger and be single really doesn't fit the description of being in the lifestyle.
I think over 10 years in the lifestyle qualifies the research. What you're refering to has a lot to being open minded and approach sex as a healthy activity. AGAIN - when you think of the lifestyle and the term "swinging" a single person doesn't fit the description as there is no swapping on both sides.
Hehe.... thanks t4, good explanation. I not only swing, I swing both ways....back & forth, lol
As our original post noted - we were interested in hearing what others thought. No single view is right or wrong - it's just up for discussion!
well, I think it depends on the person. I've met many a single guy who thought joining a swingers group was an easy way to get laid. And I met one last night who has been a member of swingers groups for 13 years, and has been a swinger with many of his girlfriends, even though he is single now. So is the single guy who wants to get laid a swinger? No. But the single guy who has been a member of swingers groups for 13 years and had previous been a swinger with several girlfriends.....yes I consider him a swinger.
mrs. garnet
mrs. garnet
T4 - I thought your response was spot-on (as close to definitive as possible). As other posters have indicated, getting common agreement on something like this is futile. Heck, there isn't even agreement among women as to whether bigger is better. Swinging is in the eyes of the beholder?
T4 is absolutely right. Swinging is an activity in it's self. Whether Hugh coined the term or not, and whether it did mean couples activity early on, that definition has changed through out the years. Especially with the new generations as it's become more acceptable to be in threesome and foursome situations. Look at MTV, etc... Swinging is a lifestyle and it doesn't make you any less of a swinger if you are single or if you choose to surround yourself in it but are selective in your choices.
The above comments are very interesting, and do promote thinking about how it all began.
I grew up during the time when 'swapping' was just starting to catch hold. Swappers were married couples, and they did indeed swap partners. Single people were called 'swingers' at that time as they had many partners for sex. Basically singles did not have a steady relationhship with just one partner. An unmarried couple could be swingers, as they could go their separate ways at any time. A married couple did not easily have the option to go separate ways, so they remain swappers unless they got a divorce. Keep in mind that the two terms applied only to those that actively sought out new sex partners, and did not apply to the population in general.
Over time, perhaps about 1965-1969, the word 'swapper' became a bit derogatory, so the married ones adopted the word 'swinger' as it seemed to be more lively and exciting sounding. Thus they moved into word usage territory of the singles. Today both singles and couples share the word.
The meaning of words and their application change over time in the America language. As an example, the word 'Queer' changed to 'Fag' and later to 'Gay'. It took from about 1940 until about 1988 for the word 'queer' to evolve into 'gay'. It's still the same people, just a different word has been adopted that sounds more happy and exciting.
To say a single man looking to get laid is not a swinger, but a single lady looking to get laid is a swinger is totally wrong. Both are either horney, or both are swingers. There can be no distinction between the two.
So, where does that leave us? Today both singles and married couples share the word equally. That is, unless the American language is evolving again. Perhaps the word 'Humming Bird' (going from flower to flower for nectar) will become the singles new description.
I grew up during the time when 'swapping' was just starting to catch hold. Swappers were married couples, and they did indeed swap partners. Single people were called 'swingers' at that time as they had many partners for sex. Basically singles did not have a steady relationhship with just one partner. An unmarried couple could be swingers, as they could go their separate ways at any time. A married couple did not easily have the option to go separate ways, so they remain swappers unless they got a divorce. Keep in mind that the two terms applied only to those that actively sought out new sex partners, and did not apply to the population in general.
Over time, perhaps about 1965-1969, the word 'swapper' became a bit derogatory, so the married ones adopted the word 'swinger' as it seemed to be more lively and exciting sounding. Thus they moved into word usage territory of the singles. Today both singles and couples share the word.
The meaning of words and their application change over time in the America language. As an example, the word 'Queer' changed to 'Fag' and later to 'Gay'. It took from about 1940 until about 1988 for the word 'queer' to evolve into 'gay'. It's still the same people, just a different word has been adopted that sounds more happy and exciting.
To say a single man looking to get laid is not a swinger, but a single lady looking to get laid is a swinger is totally wrong. Both are either horney, or both are swingers. There can be no distinction between the two.
So, where does that leave us? Today both singles and married couples share the word equally. That is, unless the American language is evolving again. Perhaps the word 'Humming Bird' (going from flower to flower for nectar) will become the singles new description.
Oh , I like that term, Humming Bird..... I will start using that one..Mrs.Tart
I am a single guy, and in my opinioin I am not a swinger. I am just here to find a good time. I agree that swinging is between a couple, so I guess a couple that invites a third is swinging, the third is just getting some extra lovin. And about Hugh Hefner being single, he is not. He is officially still married to the mother of his two boys (I actually read this months articles, I swear).
Single females are called Unicorns.....and single males are fluff (choc or vanilla in flavor)! Swinging is a couples game.... COUPLES! I consider myself a single female searching for a single male within the realms of the Swinger lifestyle.I do not want some other woman's husband for keeps. But I am mainly a HEDONIST and love pleasure.....So if I play with couples or more than one or different variations it is for pleasure.Giving and receiving. LOVE on the other hand is a totally different subject. Hope that made sense.....lol
Swinger is defined by the one defining themselves a swinger....
T4REAL69 is right on target in giving the current meaning of the term "swinger". SWMTCPL you used two little words in your original post that opened this thread, "to us". Those two little words accommodate for a lot of variation in this lifestyle. When you say "to us" you are telling everyone how you fit in the big picture of what the swinger lifestyle is. If you read another persons profile or listen to what the have to say as to what their desires and interest are, you know what this lifestyle means to them. If we are open minded enough to understand this, and don't try to force our beliefs on others, who have view's that differ from ours, we are genuine swingers. The most basic rule in swinging is NO MEANS NO. If you are confronted by someone who does not suit your desires, be it because of their looks, gender or the activity, you can always say NO, and go your own way in this lifestyle.
We also said in our post LUSTYTWO4U:
"It'll be interesting to hear what others have to say."
And you're right - we did say "to us" - we didn't say everyone had to agree. Everyone is entitled to their ideas about the lifestyle - as we are.
"It'll be interesting to hear what others have to say."
And you're right - we did say "to us" - we didn't say everyone had to agree. Everyone is entitled to their ideas about the lifestyle - as we are.
We don't care either way...but, Yolo cruises and Swingular, amongst others, have partnered together to sponsor a "Lifestyle" cruise for couples & single females only, thus excluding single men. Go figure. Oh, Hugh Hefner is still legally married! Go HEF! What about the term poly-amorous for singles? eh, who knows. Commence the a** ripping.
Then how would you define the men and women that are involved in the lifestyle that are married but thier signifigant others do not play? They are married,do you concider them "single" then?My wife got my into the Lifestyle about 8 years ago and then she passed away 4 years ago,does that mean now that i am "single" that i shouldnt be in the Lifestyle? I am looking for a partner in the lifestyle and its not easy.I think that people who think "singles" shouldnt be in the Lifestyle really dont know what the Lifestyle is or what it represents.Sure,sex is a HUGE part of it but its not ALL of it.To me the Lifestyle represents the idea of people being themselves without being judged or riticuled for what the like or believe.Its about Adults being Adults doing Adult things with other likeminded Adults.Sex is the by-product of likeminded Adults getting together and having that certain "Spark",chemistry if you will,with the people they are around.To me,thats what the Lifestyle is about.If i am single,does that mean that i should give up those ideas and beliefs? Just my thoughts.Happy Swinging.Scott
We agree with the Original poster, singles by definition can not by themselves be swingers. swinging has always meant the exchanging or swapping of partners. BTW using wikipedia as a source is a joke.
This a NON BASHING post everyone - let's keep things civil.
The term "swinger" is a label, plain and simple.
I like to think that sexuality is about the moment, not some label.
These days I tend to get pissy when someone refers to me as a "swinger". Its lumping me together with people that are not at all like me.
I like to think that sexuality is about the moment, not some label.
These days I tend to get pissy when someone refers to me as a "swinger". Its lumping me together with people that are not at all like me.
Agree in terms with T4, under one roof is the lifestyle and the sign on the door of the rooms bare SWINGING and SWAPPING "choose your room and enjoy. Back to the basic of sexual pleasure (Stimulation- Enticement-Xcitement)