T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except my poor ol'spouse.
Glitzy stockings were hung by the chimney with care, With hopes that St. Nicholas would not leave them bare.
The children were all nestled in their own homesteads, while visions of guest rooms danced in our heads.
I, in my pj's and he glad for the hair in his cap, had just settled in for a long, winter's nap.
When from my side of the bed, there arose such a clatter, He sprang up and yelled "What the heck's the matter?"
To the window I flew with my midnight hot flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
When what to my failing eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
Oh, just great, I whined, talk about a double whammy, finally meet Santa and my face is all clammy.
More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came,so I whistled and shouted and called them by name!
"Now Dasher and Dancer! Off my shrubs, blasted Vixen"
"Hey Donner, I'm sweating, who cares about Blitzen"
"Get off of that porch, don't sue if you fall! I'm feeling real cranky, now dash away all!"
And then in a twinkling,I heard on the roof, the dancing and damaged caused by each little hoof.
We stumbled downstairs and were bumping around, when down the chimney came St Nick with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,"That's new carpet" I said, "Don't track in the soot!"
A huge sack of toys he had flung on his back, thinks he's still 25, someone give him a smack!
His eyes, how they twinkled! His dimples so merry! They annoyed me like crazy, please pass the sherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, I begged, "Take me home with you, I'll cool off in the snow!"
He was jolly and plump, a right, jolly old elf, "My wife's just like you" he said, "Why punish myself?"
He had a broad face and a round little belly, "Try Jenny Craig" I sniffed, "And that pipe's real smelly."
He spoke not a word, but went right to his work, he filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And putting the thumb to the tip of his nose, gave a nasty sign, then up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team, gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle,
But he exclaimed to my husband as he drove out of sight,
"Good luck to you buddy, you'll need it tonight!!!"
Glitzy stockings were hung by the chimney with care, With hopes that St. Nicholas would not leave them bare.
The children were all nestled in their own homesteads, while visions of guest rooms danced in our heads.
I, in my pj's and he glad for the hair in his cap, had just settled in for a long, winter's nap.
When from my side of the bed, there arose such a clatter, He sprang up and yelled "What the heck's the matter?"
To the window I flew with my midnight hot flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
When what to my failing eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
Oh, just great, I whined, talk about a double whammy, finally meet Santa and my face is all clammy.
More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came,so I whistled and shouted and called them by name!
"Now Dasher and Dancer! Off my shrubs, blasted Vixen"
"Hey Donner, I'm sweating, who cares about Blitzen"
"Get off of that porch, don't sue if you fall! I'm feeling real cranky, now dash away all!"
And then in a twinkling,I heard on the roof, the dancing and damaged caused by each little hoof.
We stumbled downstairs and were bumping around, when down the chimney came St Nick with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,"That's new carpet" I said, "Don't track in the soot!"
A huge sack of toys he had flung on his back, thinks he's still 25, someone give him a smack!
His eyes, how they twinkled! His dimples so merry! They annoyed me like crazy, please pass the sherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, I begged, "Take me home with you, I'll cool off in the snow!"
He was jolly and plump, a right, jolly old elf, "My wife's just like you" he said, "Why punish myself?"
He had a broad face and a round little belly, "Try Jenny Craig" I sniffed, "And that pipe's real smelly."
He spoke not a word, but went right to his work, he filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And putting the thumb to the tip of his nose, gave a nasty sign, then up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team, gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle,
But he exclaimed to my husband as he drove out of sight,
"Good luck to you buddy, you'll need it tonight!!!"