I would like to see what everyone thinks.
Is it "once a swinger always a swinger?" or if you and your spouse split up would you go back to being monogamist?
Can you go back? seems like going back to kindergarten, but lets face it, most people would never consider it. So, would that mean trying to stay in the lifestyle would hinder your chances of moving on with someone else?
Anyone have an opinion?
Is it "once a swinger always a swinger?" or if you and your spouse split up would you go back to being monogamist?
Can you go back? seems like going back to kindergarten, but lets face it, most people would never consider it. So, would that mean trying to stay in the lifestyle would hinder your chances of moving on with someone else?
Anyone have an opinion?
Guess it would depend on the circumstances that led to the failure of the relationship. I can see someone being very jaded if the lifestyle caused the break up. I definitely see the dilema once you have experienced such liberation its hard to see how you could go back.
D
D
Being that we are both bisexual, I would see us both staying in the lifestyle, if that were to happen. We were both in the lifestyle before we met 4 years ago, so we have enjoyed it being together. We get to satisfy our bisexual side, which just makes our relationship stronger.
We have many single friends in the lifestyle so we would look to them first as possible partners since we have developed a friendship already. However, if the right person for either of us comes along, there would be no barriers preventing us from being happy.
That reminds me of a question my brother asked when I told family I met the right person for me but she lives over a thousand miles away. He asked, why would you go so far to meet the right person? My response was, why would I stay so close to be with the wrong person? Proof for us that if the right person comes along we are going for it, no matter what.
That reminds me of a question my brother asked when I told family I met the right person for me but she lives over a thousand miles away. He asked, why would you go so far to meet the right person? My response was, why would I stay so close to be with the wrong person? Proof for us that if the right person comes along we are going for it, no matter what.
My wife and I were in the Swinging lifestyle together for a number of years.
When I lost her, I chose to remain in the lifestyle.
But going it alone in a mostly couples world hasn't proven to be the easiest thing, for several reasons:
* My prospects for finding another "swing" partner aren't real good, as there are precious few single and available women in the Lifestyle.
* I have very little interest in meeting someone outside the Lifestyle - although it is a possibility, it's not something I actively pursue.
* Even couples my wife and I were very good friends with - and played with - just aren't interested in me as a single. No, I'm not asking anyone to hold a pity party for me.
I realize this isn't exactly an "inside the box" answer to the question, but it does bring up an aspect of the Lifestyle most anyone could find themselves a victim of - a deceased spouse.
What then?
When I lost her, I chose to remain in the lifestyle.
But going it alone in a mostly couples world hasn't proven to be the easiest thing, for several reasons:
* My prospects for finding another "swing" partner aren't real good, as there are precious few single and available women in the Lifestyle.
* I have very little interest in meeting someone outside the Lifestyle - although it is a possibility, it's not something I actively pursue.
* Even couples my wife and I were very good friends with - and played with - just aren't interested in me as a single. No, I'm not asking anyone to hold a pity party for me.
I realize this isn't exactly an "inside the box" answer to the question, but it does bring up an aspect of the Lifestyle most anyone could find themselves a victim of - a deceased spouse.
What then?
I don't think swinging is a "lifestyle" it's a sexual choice. I can just as easily stop doing it as start it. We happen to be a Libertine couple that swings occasionally.
-D-
-D-
Of course the swinging lifestyle is a choice - just as would be any other way someone would choose to live their life.
It's not something people are forced into, it's their - choice.
And, like any other choice in life, someone can choose to stop or begin it any time they want.
But if you're saying that Swinging is NOT a lifestyle, I think there would be a lot of people who would disagree with you.
Including me.
It's not something people are forced into, it's their - choice.
And, like any other choice in life, someone can choose to stop or begin it any time they want.
But if you're saying that Swinging is NOT a lifestyle, I think there would be a lot of people who would disagree with you.
Including me.
CARRIERMAN wrote:
"Of course the swinging lifestyle is a choice - just as would be any other way someone would choose to live their life.
It's not something people are forced into, it's their - choice.
And, like any other choice in life, someone can choose to stop or begin it any time they want.
But if you're saying that Swinging is NOT a lifestyle, I think there would be a lot of people who would disagree with you.
Including me. "
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It's your prerogative to disagree. However, like everyone, we have our opinion. In my opinion, swinging is a sexual preference and not a lifestyle. I don't live my life to swing. swinging is only one small part of my life. Sexual choices hardly represent a lifestyle to me. Perhaps you can explain why you disagree. It might make for a more interesting conversation.
-D-
"Of course the swinging lifestyle is a choice - just as would be any other way someone would choose to live their life.
It's not something people are forced into, it's their - choice.
And, like any other choice in life, someone can choose to stop or begin it any time they want.
But if you're saying that Swinging is NOT a lifestyle, I think there would be a lot of people who would disagree with you.
Including me. "
<hr>
It's your prerogative to disagree. However, like everyone, we have our opinion. In my opinion, swinging is a sexual preference and not a lifestyle. I don't live my life to swing. swinging is only one small part of my life. Sexual choices hardly represent a lifestyle to me. Perhaps you can explain why you disagree. It might make for a more interesting conversation.
-D-
lifestyle /ˈlaɪfˌstaɪl/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [lahyf-stahyl] Show IPA Pronunciation
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Actually, you just proved me right. It doesn't constitute a lifestyle. It constitutes only a small portion or choice within someone's lifestyle. The "lifestyle" is the whole, which may or may not contain swinging. Swinging, which by the way, in of itself, is not defined by any one particular act or choice. Swinging is a broad term.
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Actually, you just proved me right. It doesn't constitute a lifestyle. It constitutes only a small portion or choice within someone's lifestyle. The "lifestyle" is the whole, which may or may not contain swinging. Swinging, which by the way, in of itself, is not defined by any one particular act or choice. Swinging is a broad term.
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"
"Not to be argumentative" - Did you say that with a straight face (lol)?
HAHA! It's just a form of conversation. If we all agreed all the time, what a boring world it would be. Individuality... Uniquity... are, to me, beauty.
-D-
-D-
Lifestyle; choice - what does it all matter as long as we all get to have lots of wild monkey sex? :h
getting back to the question at hand there is an aspecct that most people sometimes forget. Sex, especially good sex, regardless of "lifestyle" is addictive. to go from swinging to monogamy would be akin to an alcoholic or meth addict going cold turkey. can it be done? sure but it would be difficult and would invariably have consequenses.
In keeping with the topic and not digressing about semantics, Yes I could easily go back to monogamy. I was completely monogamous in my marrage and a dreaded single male in the swinging lifestyle(semantics aside)since my divorse. However it would have to be one hell of a woman and she would have to be able to keep up with my sex drive. Needless to say I have not found such a woman and am not sure one even exists.
Good question..not sure its a lifestyle for us..would hate to give it up, but then again, you're hearing from someone that still gets up on Sat to watch cartoons (Dave..lol)..so, its just part of our "life" style..
dave
dave
The Mr and I talked about that possibility........and we decided we would probably both stay in the lifestyle.....and that I would still be more sucessful than him. lol.....its his joke, he says having a hot bi wife helps him get laid.
I consider it a "Lifestyle."
Having lived monogamist, it is a matter of thinking and behaving. You either live by the unwritten rules of society or you don't.
If you think its a "one guy one girl" world then you behave as such...(when your taken your basically dead.) No flirting, talking, dancing, or ANY other ANYTHING with ANYONE besides your spouse.
I know MANY MANY MANY people like this, and most think of me as some sort of "whore" and why? because I don't have to live by the rules and regulations that have been set by my peers. In a sense I am free!!! and they are not. If being free makes me a whore then so be it, I would rather be a free whore than enslaved by societies stupid rules.
Swinging has always been about the freedom for me. The freedom to "do as I please" period.
But...to get to the point in a relationship that you can be free to do as you please..not quite as easy.
How many guys out there would be OK with a girl who said, "I swing and if you don't like it then too bad"? (I don't even have to ask the girls because I already know what they would say! Something along the lines of fuck you)
So I have to wonder...once a swinger always a swinger? or do you only get one shot?
Having lived monogamist, it is a matter of thinking and behaving. You either live by the unwritten rules of society or you don't.
If you think its a "one guy one girl" world then you behave as such...(when your taken your basically dead.) No flirting, talking, dancing, or ANY other ANYTHING with ANYONE besides your spouse.
I know MANY MANY MANY people like this, and most think of me as some sort of "whore" and why? because I don't have to live by the rules and regulations that have been set by my peers. In a sense I am free!!! and they are not. If being free makes me a whore then so be it, I would rather be a free whore than enslaved by societies stupid rules.
Swinging has always been about the freedom for me. The freedom to "do as I please" period.
But...to get to the point in a relationship that you can be free to do as you please..not quite as easy.
How many guys out there would be OK with a girl who said, "I swing and if you don't like it then too bad"? (I don't even have to ask the girls because I already know what they would say! Something along the lines of fuck you)
So I have to wonder...once a swinger always a swinger? or do you only get one shot?
For us its a lifestyle, we dont believe monogamy is a natural state of our human condition, but rather another way of controling society.
Want proof? Just take a look at how many people cheat on their spouses!
Back in the day it made sense to be monogamous because of deseases they had no clue what to do with and possibly because of very little effective means of birth control.
So, since we feel that we are actually the social norm, we pose the (rhetorical) question; ONCE MONOGAMOUS ALWAYS MONOGAMOUS?
Want proof? Just take a look at how many people cheat on their spouses!
Back in the day it made sense to be monogamous because of deseases they had no clue what to do with and possibly because of very little effective means of birth control.
So, since we feel that we are actually the social norm, we pose the (rhetorical) question; ONCE MONOGAMOUS ALWAYS MONOGAMOUS?