Scenario: You have been involved in the lifestyle for at least several years and experienced most, if not all, the fantasies you entertained WHEN YOU FIRST entered the LS. You have settled into a comfortable groove/pattern. You have established "x" number of relationships and found what works to keep the old libido relatively satisfied.
Question: Do you find yourself(ves) never really quite satisfied with the "groove"?
Where I'm coming from: One of the many things that has struck me as curious, is the ongoing quest to meet new people that so many "experienced folks" pursue (awkward sentence, sorry). The thrill of the chase? The satisfaction of conquest? The titillation of uncharted waters? The compulsion to sample everything on the menu? Why did the chicken cross the road (just wanted to see if you were still paying attention)?
D
Question: Do you find yourself(ves) never really quite satisfied with the "groove"?
Where I'm coming from: One of the many things that has struck me as curious, is the ongoing quest to meet new people that so many "experienced folks" pursue (awkward sentence, sorry). The thrill of the chase? The satisfaction of conquest? The titillation of uncharted waters? The compulsion to sample everything on the menu? Why did the chicken cross the road (just wanted to see if you were still paying attention)?
D
We have some close friends that we can get together for play. So in general we would not have to find any new people to play with, but we did get into the lifestyle for the new experiences. So there is still nothing like getting together with someone for the first time. Meeting and the chance to play with someone new will always keep swinging exciting for us.
Hey there D,
Do we ever find ourselves never quite satisfide in the groove?
Well that is the reason we got into the lifestyle to begin with. Our monogamus relationship was in that grove (doing it the same way all the time) and I have A.D.D. so it was dreadful for me.
So for me it was finding new ways of doing "it". Everyone does it a little different. I have not found two women that do it the same way. Or "feel" the same. And altho I realy can't speak for them, I'm sure it's that way for alot of the ladies out there as well.
As for the thrill of the chase, the satisfaction of conquest, and /or the venturing of uncharted waters. SURE. It's all that and then sum. This lifestyle is everything you want it to be.
One of the best parts for us is finding that one or two couples that we become realy close with. There is nothing like having friends as lovers. And I think that is one of the reasons we keep looking. We are always looking for that friends/lovers thing. That and my A.D.D...LOL.
Take Care everyone,
Dave
Do we ever find ourselves never quite satisfide in the groove?
Well that is the reason we got into the lifestyle to begin with. Our monogamus relationship was in that grove (doing it the same way all the time) and I have A.D.D. so it was dreadful for me.
So for me it was finding new ways of doing "it". Everyone does it a little different. I have not found two women that do it the same way. Or "feel" the same. And altho I realy can't speak for them, I'm sure it's that way for alot of the ladies out there as well.
As for the thrill of the chase, the satisfaction of conquest, and /or the venturing of uncharted waters. SURE. It's all that and then sum. This lifestyle is everything you want it to be.
One of the best parts for us is finding that one or two couples that we become realy close with. There is nothing like having friends as lovers. And I think that is one of the reasons we keep looking. We are always looking for that friends/lovers thing. That and my A.D.D...LOL.
Take Care everyone,
Dave
Thank you D, we just got back home from an overnight party and see you posted another good topic.
For us as most say, the lifestyle is used to add to their already great sex life, adding friends to our growing circle of friends adds more spice to a very fun group. We have seen friends move away, leave the lifestyle, split as a couple, and sometimes life just gets in the way of meeting your swinger friends. We feel you can never have to many friends this way there is always a few available to get together at any time.
Joe and Lori
For us as most say, the lifestyle is used to add to their already great sex life, adding friends to our growing circle of friends adds more spice to a very fun group. We have seen friends move away, leave the lifestyle, split as a couple, and sometimes life just gets in the way of meeting your swinger friends. We feel you can never have to many friends this way there is always a few available to get together at any time.
Joe and Lori
No one (or group of) playmates meets every fantasy, desire, schedule, or need. Most get into the lifestyle for the variety and meeting new potential playmates keeps open that chance for more variety.
As was already mentioned, there are playmates that leave the lifestyle, have life changes that cause them to put playtime on hold (a pregnancy) or any number of other factors.
Meeting new friends is also great for putting together a wonderful party guest list where we can be confident that most everyone will get along or click well together. Even if WE aren't going to play with all of our friends, we enjoy introducing to others who might be that perfect match. We also enjoy the friendship side of the lifestyle since the friends are openminded and adventurous.
As was already mentioned, there are playmates that leave the lifestyle, have life changes that cause them to put playtime on hold (a pregnancy) or any number of other factors.
Meeting new friends is also great for putting together a wonderful party guest list where we can be confident that most everyone will get along or click well together. Even if WE aren't going to play with all of our friends, we enjoy introducing to others who might be that perfect match. We also enjoy the friendship side of the lifestyle since the friends are openminded and adventurous.
I would say that a good reason to meet other folk is that not every relationship you get into works out. Even if it works out, people move away, fall out of the lifestyle, lose interest, etc, etc. If you have a larger bunch of friends, it is easier to find someone to go out with for a night out on the town.
We've been into it for a long time but we have a limited number of experiences. For us, we are now sure we will never find that "perfect" couple for us to swing with on an ongoing basis. We are looking for something that probably does not exist for us. So we keep looking. We keep meeting new couples for dinner or drinks. We keep trying to find that "perfect" couple for us. The reason is the target keeps moving. We keep changing what we are looking for. We keep looking for that next best situation. Its frustrating, exciting, fun, disappointing, mysterious, gut-wrenching, butterfly producing and a whole lot more most evenings we try to do something sexy. Guess that's why we still do it.
I guess 11 years would count as experienced. For my wife she loves the positive interaction with people. She likes to feel that she is still beautiful and appreciated by both men and women. For me personally I'm in it for the long haul. I am leaning more towards polyamory than swinging these days simply because the empty feeling of 'just sex' is getting on my nerves. I prefer to be emotionally compatible with a woman and share sex on a more intimate level than physical. My wife is also finding the joys of poly style although she still feels that reaffirmation of new people finding that we love other people instead of lusting after them has been a huge turn on.
That's just my take. I'm getting the feeling that poly is like playing at the high stakes table of a casino. There's more investment put in, higher risk involved, and greater returns if played correctly. For me it's the formation of the new relationship that has been pure joy. I can't really describe it fully. I feel like I have two wives and a co-husband and it's been an emotional roller coaster that ultimately has been really joyful. While not perfect by any stretch of the imagination it's been very fulfilling to our souls.
I don't think it's for everybody and if you think you have communication figured out in your relationship just wait until you're communicating 4 ways and trying to get a unanimous agreement on the interpretation. As I said not easy. Fun, fulfilling, and joyous yes! Easy, nope. Then again if I liked things easy I probably wouldn't have gotten married in the first place.
That's just my take. I'm getting the feeling that poly is like playing at the high stakes table of a casino. There's more investment put in, higher risk involved, and greater returns if played correctly. For me it's the formation of the new relationship that has been pure joy. I can't really describe it fully. I feel like I have two wives and a co-husband and it's been an emotional roller coaster that ultimately has been really joyful. While not perfect by any stretch of the imagination it's been very fulfilling to our souls.
I don't think it's for everybody and if you think you have communication figured out in your relationship just wait until you're communicating 4 ways and trying to get a unanimous agreement on the interpretation. As I said not easy. Fun, fulfilling, and joyous yes! Easy, nope. Then again if I liked things easy I probably wouldn't have gotten married in the first place.