Swingers Forum - Equal Treatmeat for all singles

I see all these forums about how bad single men are. I'm sorry but i feel single is single and we should all have the same treatment. I feel it is not fair as a single female we get special treatment we can be VIP but single males can only be real I feel that it should be the same for both I can understand that there are couples that only want Single females, or single males, or just swap with other couples but why single out anyone Give us all the same treatment. I feel if it applies to a single male it should apply to a single female it is only fair!!!!! I feel it is discrimination against the men we all should have the same rules.

Thanks PURPLE for that rousing statement. I do know that one big reason that single guys get blocked and banned so much is just because of the shear numbers of us, and because there are enough out there that can and will be complete jerks whenever they go out.

Women fought for the ERA and in work places females must be treated the same as males or it is discrimination. I have seen married males that act worse than the single males and get away with it. I have also seen single females that act 300 times worse than any single males. We are all here for the same reason isnt that why we joined this site? Weather you are a couple or a single female or male WE STILL HAVE THE SAME RIGHTS UNDER THE LAWS OF THE LAND.

As a couple we feel that everyone should be treated the same. There are alot of males ( single or not ) that are gentlemen. And of course there are the ones that are not. We went to a swingers party once were the host was a married man (and his wife their also) that drugged all the females. So should he get away with it were he is a married man? I am a shy person and i respect people and their boundries. Where alot of married males do not. Weather or not I am or ever will be single you still have to respect other peoples feelings. No matter if you are married or single.

Personally I am glad to be blocked by people who looks down on single guys and make comments like the one said about probably being that way for a valid reason (and not meant so in a nice way). Really there is no need to block me, because I would never attempt to bother someone such as that. There are many wonderful single males, as well as single females out there. There are also bad ones out there... and there are bad couples as well! If single guys are not your thing, that is fine, but some people portray them as the anti-christ, which in my book is really unfair.

I am single by choice... after nearly 10 years together, my wife decided to leave me for another man because our work schedules conflicted and she chose to go to someone else to fill in the gap. She had her daughter (from a previous marriage) pack all of my belonging into boxes, and I came home one day to find everything I had sitting on the front porch. Her relationship didn't last, and she has wanted us to get back together, but I have no desire to be with her any longer. I had my heart ripped out by this because I loved her very much, and am not ready for another relationship anytime soon. I don't think this makes me a bad person!

I have swung as a single and a couple on and off for the past 12 years... I have see the good and bad, and I have made many great friends and had some wonderful times. People who lump everyone together into one generalization just because of their sex are surely missing out on talking to and/or meeting some really wonderful people. Swinging isn't just about sex. I have made some great friends online at sites like this that I will probably never meet in person or have sex with, but that is fine with me. They accepted me as a single and have found that I'm not that bad of a person!

And PURPLE... to address your post, I emailed the admin about this a while back and never got a reply as to why this was.

Supply and demad was never my concern That should never have bearing on ANY SINGLES being treated differntly!!! Why should the single females get the same as couples? Single females and males should be treated the same period!!!! Single is single not well single men are single for a reason BULL so what is a single females excuse because we has a Pu$$y Bull crap i'm sorry but all the singles should have the same rules!!!!!!

I just don`t understand. One couples say something bad about single males and everyone has to comment on it. This is only one couple out of the entire site so if they hate single males then great, block them or make sure you never contact them if you find a partner. The more time you spend defending all single males to one couple is all the less time you have to meet others that do enjoy single males.

Since the wife is out on her own and I am home alone and bored let me add that I was a widow back in 1998 at a very young age and nobody has made that point that a husband could have been single for that reason at one point. So the reason I was a single male then had nothing to do with me being single for a reason like being a bad person. So maybe this couple was wrong but bottom line is they still do not want anything to do with single males and they have the right to make that decision.

If everyone is to be treated equally then maybe we should start by treating this couple the same as anyone else.

I just got done showing a friend of mine what has been said on here. He is a counselor over people that committed domestic violence. He has females on certain days and males on another. He was telling me about a guy that was in one of his classes that bent over backwards for his wife. He gave her and did whatever she wanted him to do. If she wanted a new car and he knew the could not afford it he would go out and get 2 parttime jobs so she could have her new car. He also sold his car and bought a junk car to put a bigger down payment on her car. She made him finish the basement and wanted bigger tits. He gave her all of this. One day his was so sick that he could not get out of bed. This made her very angry so she started to beat the hell out of him. When she was all done beating him up she went to another part of the house and beat herself up. She called the cops they came out and put him in jail. This happened 2 other times until C.S.I. came out to the scene. They started to take pictures of her bruises and happened to see a picture of the 2 of them. They started to get their doubts when they seen a hand print on her. They matched it up with hers. The courts dropped all charges on the male and pressed charges on her for all 3 accounts. And alot of other charges. He served jail time for the way she was. My buddy had the male in one of his classes and now he has her. Another female whenever she got mad at her husband would either spit in his food or put other things in it. One day she was so mad she went and cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush. She put it back in the glass and later was talking to him while she watched him brush his teeth. He has also told me that he has had guys that would beat the hell out of his wife and kids just for fun. One of his kids was blind and he would beat the hell out of him and then have sex with him. He also made his daughters watch porn with him and play strip poker. Then he would have sex with them. He served time in prison for this and now is out.


Then everyone has to remember that one lady that cut off her husbands penis. If she happened to be on this site how would she be treated?


I agree with the person that says we all need to respect each other. We are all here looking for friendships and sometimes more. We were all single once and some of have been married and divorced (other than the lucky ones that have not had to go through it). One gentleman said his wife passed away so that made him single. That was not his choice and alot of singles it was not their choice to get divorced either. But it does happen no matter whose fault it is. We all need to get along and try to make the best out of our lives. You never know what tommorrow will bring. For the ones who hate single males that is ok that is your choice. But, if the male died tommorrow what would you do then? Or for the males that are in the couples if your wife died tommorrow it would put you in with the single males. I just thought I would say that to make people think about "WHAT IF". I am not a rude person. BUT WHAT IF IT HAPPENED?

Posted By: AT_NITE_RUBE Reply posted on:
Aug 3, 2008 - 5:56 pm

As far as you married men out there that think "Single men should be banned", how soon you forget you were single once.
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What's your point? Yes, we were single once but we were a couple when we came into the lifestyle. What of it?

Posted By: BLINDLOVE Reply posted on:
Aug 3, 2008 - 9:41 pm
Every other day there is a post on here bitching about single men.

ANd my last note, Utah is like the wrost place for single men. They dont let them into most of the parties.

What if something were to happen with you and your spouse and you became single? Your not gonna wanna stop playing.

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And you don't wonder why?

Interesting. Maybe if there is a lifestyles convention there it might make a good place to go.

What of it? If something happened to her, he would be out of the lifestyle until he found a female in a LTR who wanted to do this.

There are a lot of good points that have been made but the reality of it is this, whether you want to believe it or not. Swingers are in this lifestyle for the fun. The majority of swingers are couples and some would even argue that you have to be a couple to be considered a swinger but that's another topic. Swingers are here to connect with others whether for sex or friendship. If it is for sex, it is for the fun of sex to enjoy with other like minded people. Some choose to have this sex with other couples, some choose to have this sex with single males or single females. We all have the right to choose. If we choose not to have sex with single males, it doesn't mean we have some sort of trust or self-confidence issues, it just means it's not what we want to do. Same with couples or single females.

Yes, single men are a dime a dozen and that is where the problem lies. There are thousands and thousands of single men who enter this lifestyle and most of them do it because of the sex. They have no understanding of or respect for the lifestyle and so their actions give the ones who do a bad name. So with that said, let's say the percentage of bad single men compared to non is 95%.

Now, that doesn't mean there are some bad single women or bad couples. But let's put this into perspective. The number of single women in this lifestyle is a very, very small percentage. Yet, let's say the percent of bad single women compared to non is only 5%. And couples, well, they are already a couple with both a guy and a girl and they are already given a free pass into the lifestyle because, well, they are a couple so we'll leave them out of this equation.

So now you have two different seals. The Real Seal and the VIP Seal. They both serve a similar purpose; to show that you have somehow proven that you are a real person or couple. The difference is that the VIP which stands for Validated In Person can only be given out by an admin or local host. And the person holding the VIP is the only person other than an admin or local host that can issue a REAL seal. Make sense?

Now, as a single male in that 95%, what do you care most about? Probably getting laid and seeing as many pictures as you can. After trying unsuccessfully to get people to send you pictures or give you access to their private photo albums, you decide to create a fake profile as a single female or couple. What are your chances of creating that profile and getting someone to show you their private collection? Better, but not by much because a lot of couples will not show them to you unless you have a REAL or VIP seal. So it deters them from becoming picture collectors.

But wait, if that single male was able to somehow get a VIP seal on his single male profile, he could now validate his own fake profile as REAL and raise his chances of seeing more private albums and faking his way on this site.

Now you tell me who is more likely going to fake a profile. A couple? A single female? or a single male? I'll tell you who, it's not going to be a couple or a single female because that is what most people are looking for so why would they need to? It's a sad reality but it's reality.

And that is why we have the seals in the first place, otherwise, why would we need them?

Now for parties and such, the reason why single females are mostly allowed and single men are not is for similar reasons as mentioned earlier. You have more single guys interested in this lifestyle than single women and it's more likely you would have 100 single men at a party and only a handful of women. As a couple, especially a new couple, that's pretty intimidating and out of those 100 single men, if 95% of them had no respect for the lifestyle, what are the chances that something bad could happen? Even if it was only 20%, the chances of some single male ruining it for the rest is pretty high? Get my point? So that is why you rarely see parties that allow single men. And it really sucks for those singles who are gentlemen. Again, it's a sad reality but it's reality.

For all you single men out there who are in this lifestyle for the right reasons, keep doing what you are doing and someone will notice you. There are plenty of people looking for single men but you have to make yourself stand out from the crowd. Be patient and don't try too hard and eventually it will come to you.

I hope this sheds a little light on this subject. These percentages may not be exact but it's a close scenario. I've been in this lifestyle for a very long time and some of that was as a single male so I know both sides. It's not being discriminatory, it's what has to be done to protect the main people in this lifestyle and that's the couple. Unfortunately, because of that, the single male gets the short end of the stick. But it has to happen, otherwise you would scare off the majority of couples interested in this lifestyle and without them, you have no one to meet in the first place. You might as well just post an ad on a regular dating site if that was the case.

I see your point, well taken. And that is why I used words such as 'let's say' to show that it's only a scenario and not fact. And that is why I state at the end that those percentages are not exact. And since your point was made publicly, I had to address your point as to let others understand the reasoning behind my actions. Next time, make your point privately if it's only a 'suggestion' so as not to defer from the original subject unless of course it was more than just a suggestion.