My wife and I are new to the swinging lifestyle and have only been with each other. I feel that I'm comfortable with sharing myself and my wife but she is on the fence about it, she likes the idea of it but she is unsure if she can do it. Any experienced words of wisdom out there?
First off i would recommend taking it slow. D and I were in the same boat when we started. The big key is communication between yourselves, and make sure you are both comfortable with the steps you make. It took us about a year before we were really comfortable. We still get nervous and get butterflies in our stomachs, but that is part of the expierience.
The woman (or women when you that happens) are always in control and whatever their desires and interests are helps to guide the ship into the port. Without this you are just a ship without a rutter, drifting in the vast ocean of sexuality going no where fast.
If the guy tries to push something he becomes the parasite and labled aggressive and most in the lifestyle don't seem to appreciate that.
We started out with Rules, Boundries and do's and don'ts. What we found is it all changed to become clarity in communication and not rules and boundries. With us before each experience there was a communciation before hand with what felt comfortable, and what was deisred for both to experience that night or with that situation. We both have to connect with all people involved to have anything happen. We don't "Take One For The Team" make it more of pure direct communication to make sure each partner is feeling safe, secure and happy with what they may experience.
Good Luck!
If the guy tries to push something he becomes the parasite and labled aggressive and most in the lifestyle don't seem to appreciate that.
We started out with Rules, Boundries and do's and don'ts. What we found is it all changed to become clarity in communication and not rules and boundries. With us before each experience there was a communciation before hand with what felt comfortable, and what was deisred for both to experience that night or with that situation. We both have to connect with all people involved to have anything happen. We don't "Take One For The Team" make it more of pure direct communication to make sure each partner is feeling safe, secure and happy with what they may experience.
Good Luck!
In this life style you have to be able to talk about everything. Somethings maybe things that one or the other doesn't want to hear. You still need to have the conversation. If you don't you are only fooling yourself, and hurting your relationship.
The big thing in the begining is make some rules. Don't deviate from them. Not until you can take another step forward because you are a bit more comfortable. Take your time and don't let anyone push you into anything that is uncomfortable for you or her. If you have questions, ask. Ask each other, ask others that are in it and get several opinions and make your decision from there.
Some things work for other couples better than some. Just remember you don't have to do everything.
Jazz
The big thing in the begining is make some rules. Don't deviate from them. Not until you can take another step forward because you are a bit more comfortable. Take your time and don't let anyone push you into anything that is uncomfortable for you or her. If you have questions, ask. Ask each other, ask others that are in it and get several opinions and make your decision from there.
Some things work for other couples better than some. Just remember you don't have to do everything.
Jazz
Okay, as a mature cpl in the lifestyle my best advice is to go slow, not just slow but sloooooow.
Talk to one another alot and be open and honest and never push, trust me it is worth the wait. Go at the pace that you feel comfy at. good luck and play safe
Talk to one another alot and be open and honest and never push, trust me it is worth the wait. Go at the pace that you feel comfy at. good luck and play safe
Everything said here so far is right on. I watch Karen for her reaction to the other people envolved and I can tell where it's going to go. I don't care how bad you (the guy) want to do the other chick, if your wife just isn't into it, forget it. Have rules and through talking, they can change. The main thing is to have fun!!!!! And alcohol works too...lol