Every time there is a meet and greet, I have noticed that the single men seem to have several rules/regulations/requirements. I understand that they can be somewhat.....randy......but why aren't the single women treated the same? Is it that the single female on this site is so few and far between that there is no need for any of that? From the stories I have heard, they can be just as disrespectful as the single men! I say we need to start a list for the single women as well......
Rule #1 If asked to accompany a couple and it becomes intimate, respect BOTH people, not just the husband, for if the wife isn
Rule #1 If asked to accompany a couple and it becomes intimate, respect BOTH people, not just the husband, for if the wife isn
CATZ wrote:
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"but why aren't the single women treated the same?"
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Because 9 time out of 10 single women are not disrespectful at parties. More often than not, it seems, single guys, especially young ones, are disrespectful assholes. Does that mean they all are? HELL NO!!! I know a ton of single guys on this site that would be great at a party with no "special rules" applied. Unfortunately, it's the bad apple that spoils the bunch. Do I think a lot of single guys get the shaft? Yes. It's an unfortunate bigotry that occurs in the lifestyle.
I personally think there should be a <u>voluntary</u> "hot or not" rating system on this website . Not just with looks, but with experience points in all social aspects. That way people can give votes on personality, wallet, appearance, political views, smoking, drinking, religion etc. That way, we can all judge each other's every flaw. We can all give our opinions and let everyone know how fuckable they are. Fuck destroying self-esteem, fuck hurting feelings, I say we dumpster fuck everyone's ego. What do ya say? eh? ;-)
-D-
<hr>
"but why aren't the single women treated the same?"
<hr>
Because 9 time out of 10 single women are not disrespectful at parties. More often than not, it seems, single guys, especially young ones, are disrespectful assholes. Does that mean they all are? HELL NO!!! I know a ton of single guys on this site that would be great at a party with no "special rules" applied. Unfortunately, it's the bad apple that spoils the bunch. Do I think a lot of single guys get the shaft? Yes. It's an unfortunate bigotry that occurs in the lifestyle.
I personally think there should be a <u>voluntary</u> "hot or not" rating system on this website . Not just with looks, but with experience points in all social aspects. That way people can give votes on personality, wallet, appearance, political views, smoking, drinking, religion etc. That way, we can all judge each other's every flaw. We can all give our opinions and let everyone know how fuckable they are. Fuck destroying self-esteem, fuck hurting feelings, I say we dumpster fuck everyone's ego. What do ya say? eh? ;-)
-D-
This is not merely an issue on Swingular, but is a mind-set that we have encountered on every site we have belonged to, in every geographical area, and at many parties.
Seemingly the single ladies get the accolades, while their counterparts, the dreaded single males, get the proverbial foot in the ass.
Is it fair? We don't think so.
However, it is what it is, and not likely to change soon.
I'm sure that everyone has an opinion as to why this occurs (opinion/assholes being synonymous; everyone has one). Here are a few of our thoughts....
Perhaps one could say that this disparity is due to the fact that most couples are searching for females...either single or part of a couple?
This is only PARTIALLY true as there are many swingers that are not looking for singles of either gender. Many couples are, in fact, only looking only for other couples to share friendship and intimacy.
Perhaps the old adage "Men are a dime a dozen", comes into play?
Well...one has to admit that yes...us guys really are rather numerous. Regardless of being within the Lifestyle or out....you can always find a guy, willing to hump your wife. Go to any vanilla event to find that out.
Many might say that all single guys are pushy ass-wads, that lack the intelligence, class, or sophistication to show respect and patience towards a couple that's willing to share intimacy with them.
Again, not totally true. We have met many polite, kind and respectful single men. We have also had numerous run-ins with females...both single and married, that have been just as crass, obnoxious and presumptuous as the most obnoxious single guy anyone could imagine. We like to call them the Bi-Nazi's: you know...the "it's-all-about-the-women" types.
This brings me to yet another mentionable. There is also an unspoken "assumption", that just because any individual of the female persuasion is involved in swinging...she's automatically "bi-curious", "bi-sexual", or "just doesn't know that she wants to be yet".
The obvious outcome of this mind-set is that unwanted advances, groping and attention comes towards the females/couples that are not looking for this type of interaction. Ironically, the same advances made by a male, married or single...would be dealt with severely in most cases. However...with the ladies...many consider it "appropriate", if not expected.
Do you see the double-standard? Somewhat hypocritical I would say.
Many get so caught up in stereotyping, and outcomes having to look a certain way, they are quick to assign social roles to various members of our Lifestyle. In the process, they forget objectiveness, compassion, and open-mindedness. Isn't that what we, as swingers pride ourselves on, "open-mindedness", and being "out of the box"?
Ok..since sweeping swinger social changes (wow, say that fast three times...haha), are not likely to happen...Siren and I elect to manage what we know we can, and that's ourselves.
We never expect anyone or anything to be anything but themselves, and let their actions and behaviors be the ultimate factor as to how we interact with them, regardless of marital status, gender, or seeking preferences.
J
Seemingly the single ladies get the accolades, while their counterparts, the dreaded single males, get the proverbial foot in the ass.
Is it fair? We don't think so.
However, it is what it is, and not likely to change soon.
I'm sure that everyone has an opinion as to why this occurs (opinion/assholes being synonymous; everyone has one). Here are a few of our thoughts....
Perhaps one could say that this disparity is due to the fact that most couples are searching for females...either single or part of a couple?
This is only PARTIALLY true as there are many swingers that are not looking for singles of either gender. Many couples are, in fact, only looking only for other couples to share friendship and intimacy.
Perhaps the old adage "Men are a dime a dozen", comes into play?
Well...one has to admit that yes...us guys really are rather numerous. Regardless of being within the Lifestyle or out....you can always find a guy, willing to hump your wife. Go to any vanilla event to find that out.
Many might say that all single guys are pushy ass-wads, that lack the intelligence, class, or sophistication to show respect and patience towards a couple that's willing to share intimacy with them.
Again, not totally true. We have met many polite, kind and respectful single men. We have also had numerous run-ins with females...both single and married, that have been just as crass, obnoxious and presumptuous as the most obnoxious single guy anyone could imagine. We like to call them the Bi-Nazi's: you know...the "it's-all-about-the-women" types.
This brings me to yet another mentionable. There is also an unspoken "assumption", that just because any individual of the female persuasion is involved in swinging...she's automatically "bi-curious", "bi-sexual", or "just doesn't know that she wants to be yet".
The obvious outcome of this mind-set is that unwanted advances, groping and attention comes towards the females/couples that are not looking for this type of interaction. Ironically, the same advances made by a male, married or single...would be dealt with severely in most cases. However...with the ladies...many consider it "appropriate", if not expected.
Do you see the double-standard? Somewhat hypocritical I would say.
Many get so caught up in stereotyping, and outcomes having to look a certain way, they are quick to assign social roles to various members of our Lifestyle. In the process, they forget objectiveness, compassion, and open-mindedness. Isn't that what we, as swingers pride ourselves on, "open-mindedness", and being "out of the box"?
Ok..since sweeping swinger social changes (wow, say that fast three times...haha), are not likely to happen...Siren and I elect to manage what we know we can, and that's ourselves.
We never expect anyone or anything to be anything but themselves, and let their actions and behaviors be the ultimate factor as to how we interact with them, regardless of marital status, gender, or seeking preferences.
J
Well said brother Garden. Very elloquent (as usual).
Sincerely,
-D-
Sincerely,
-D-
Don, you're such a kiss ass. ;-) lol
Well, said both of you. ;-D Have a great afternoon all!
R&S
Well, said both of you. ;-D Have a great afternoon all!
R&S
Here Here.......Nicely put!
Very well put J...
It was long but you was right on all of it.
You should write a book LOL
have a good weekend
It was long but you was right on all of it.
You should write a book LOL
have a good weekend