Great one WEFLY. Poor guy. ;-)
R&S
R&S
A guy walks into a bar, sits at the bar next to a beautiful woman. He looks up at her "can I smell your pussy?" she replys "NO!" "oh sorry must be your feet!"
Do you know how to make a whore moan? ------------- Don't pay her. 
How fast can you go while having sex?
68...At 69 you have to turn around.
68...At 69 you have to turn around.
Two Dutch girls are riding their old rickety bikes down the back streets of Amsterdam one late afternoon. As it turns closer towards dusk, the increasing darkness of the streets starts making the two girls a little nervous when one girl leans over to the other and says, "You know, I've never come this way before."
The other girl says, "It's the cobblestones
The other girl says, "It's the cobblestones
These are great. Keep them coming! :-)
R&S
R&S
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES
> > >
> > > A blonde calls her boyfriend and says,
> > > "Please come over here and
> > > help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle,
> > > and I can't figure out
> > > how to get it started."
> > >
> > > Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed
> > > to be when it's finished?"
> > >
> > > The blonde says, "According to the picture
> > > on the box, it's a tiger."
> > >
> > > Her boyfriend decides to go over and help
> > > with the puzzle. She lets
> > > him in and shows him where she has the
> > > puzzle spread all over the table.
> > >
> > > He studies the pi eces for a moment, then
> > > looks at the box, then
> > > turns to her and says, "First of all, no
> > > matter what we do, we're not
> > > going to be able to assemble these pieces
> > > into anything resembling a tiger."
> > >
> > > He takes her hand and says, "Second, I
> > > want you to relax. Let's have
> > > a nice cup of tea, and then ..."
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > He sighed.........
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ..... "Let's put all the Frosted Flakes
> > > back in the box......."
> > >
> > > A blonde calls her boyfriend and says,
> > > "Please come over here and
> > > help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle,
> > > and I can't figure out
> > > how to get it started."
> > >
> > > Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed
> > > to be when it's finished?"
> > >
> > > The blonde says, "According to the picture
> > > on the box, it's a tiger."
> > >
> > > Her boyfriend decides to go over and help
> > > with the puzzle. She lets
> > > him in and shows him where she has the
> > > puzzle spread all over the table.
> > >
> > > He studies the pi eces for a moment, then
> > > looks at the box, then
> > > turns to her and says, "First of all, no
> > > matter what we do, we're not
> > > going to be able to assemble these pieces
> > > into anything resembling a tiger."
> > >
> > > He takes her hand and says, "Second, I
> > > want you to relax. Let's have
> > > a nice cup of tea, and then ..."
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > He sighed.........
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ..... "Let's put all the Frosted Flakes
> > > back in the box......."
Not a joke, but talent.
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MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want,
stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and
your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully
and a little voice will tell You which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, hang up.
It doesn't matter which number you press,
nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep
or before the beep or after the beep.
But Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.
Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down,
hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.
You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons.
You'll just mess it up.
This coming week is
National Mental Health Care week.
You can do your part by remembering
to contact at least
one unstable person to show you care.
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want,
stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and
your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully
and a little voice will tell You which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, hang up.
It doesn't matter which number you press,
nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep
or before the beep or after the beep.
But Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.
Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down,
hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.
You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons.
You'll just mess it up.
This coming week is
National Mental Health Care week.
You can do your part by remembering
to contact at least
one unstable person to show you care.
Atexan walks into a bar in New York, puts his finger on the bar and tells the bartender to shoot it off. The bartender then asks are you crazy or what and the texan says no, P want to show these New Yorkers how tough us texans are. Well ok says the bartender as he shoots his finger off. After a New Yorker puts two fingers on the bar and tells the bartender to shoot both his fingers off to show that texan how tough New Yorkers are. The bartender say well ok as he shoots both fingers off. Then a little gay guy goes up and puts his dick on the bar. The bartender asks what you want me to shoot that off? The gay guy says nah just kiss it, it will shoot off by itself.