We've had very limited expierences with people we haven't known for a long time. With the recent rise in Syphilis (fingers pointing at the internet community i.e. US) What (other than a condom) precautions do you take to protect yourselves? Or are we just being paranoid?
:s
:s
Well for us we get checked every 6 months just to be safe and ALWAYS use condoms. But in this lifestyle that is a chance you take I guess You can have a couple you think you know very well but than again you may not know them as much as you think. Be cautious and always put that type of thing out there and if you are with a couple and do et something from them notify them of the problem they may not know they have anything. But make sure you keep your self safe and if you feel second thoughts on a couple dont do anything you dont want to do.
Our feeling is that meeting people through avenues like Swingular is much safer than any other method. If someone is diseased they would not make it in a forum like this. Word would get out and no one would want to hang with them. Personally, we are tested several times a year at our workplace and know we are safe. We don't like the loss of sensation that condoms provide, so we are up-front about this with any prospective partners. We have used them, but prefer skin-to-skin contact
Condoms are MUST..no matter what..just the least possible safe way
We find that this issue has a huge mix of feelings within the lifestyle. I'd say it's pretty much 50/50 as far as who uses condoms and who doesn't. What it all comes down to is personal preference and being safe and cautious. I find most in the lifestyle don't hook up as much as people think and those that they do hook up with have built up a trusting relationship to move on to actually playing.
First we are soft swap, if going to ful we would use condoms...get to know your partners as friends before having sex...any help is better than no help...good luck
Ever since we have started Swinging, we have ALWAYS used condoms. The argument of "lost sensation" and "I can't perform with those" are a line of BS . We have tried alot of different condoms, and finally found one's that are like wearing nothing at all. In a perfect world we would not have to use them at all, However this is not a perfect world, and people are not always honest. We all assume a certain trust and honesty in this lifestyle, you have to, but you never know what lurks beneath the beltline........Just a thought !!
Condoms are a must for us to "hookup" I know it may sound old fashion but IMHO better to wrap it now then worry about it later or god forbid there come a child out of stupidity. We did have a gf whom we didn't use them with but she was fixed and also a nurse so she was checked every 6 months,we are also checked twice a yr. While some prefer skin to skin and there is nothing wrong with that I would just rather error on the side of caution. :!
Same here... between STD's and pregnancy issues, we just find it safer to use condoms whenever we decide to play. Then there are those who say it is pointless because they don't work all the time or the latex causes reactions or this and that, but something is better than nothing right?
I know it has been repeated here, but condoms are a MUST. You need to be up front about it and if you really click and get along then you respect the others request and dive in and have fun! But always be safe and precautious!
Condoms are a great way to protect a man and woman when having sex but what about fmf threesomes? The guy can wear a condom but the girls are still coming in contact with each other whether orally or via the man when he switches. Unless he changes condoms every time he switches girls, he is the only one being protected.
We meet people on the net...no cooties that way...IF we happen to meet in person we wrap the other couple up in saran wrap, sit and have a drink watching them sweat! See no transfer of germs that way!! Of course we have had 3 of them pass out before getting the wrap off of them...LOL
Please know this was done tongue in cheek...LOL
Please know this was done tongue in cheek...LOL
Condoms are a must. Also in a FMF situation the guy would have to change condoms or else he's not really protecting anyone. Also toys need to be protected in FF situations unless you both agree.
Then we have also run into several couples where birthcontrol pills were not an option and so condoms were needed for that protection as well.
Then we have also run into several couples where birthcontrol pills were not an option and so condoms were needed for that protection as well.
Have to admit that I've always found it funny how many folks swear that condoms are a must, and how many we've seen first hand that don't actually use them when push comes to shove. On our end, the missus always demands the other guy use one, I do most of the time but I have "ridden bareback" on occasion. I do try to be careful - there are some women we know who are a little too promiscuous without condom use and I politely decline to play with them.
Condoms are a must with us anytime there is penetration but orally we do not use them is it taking a chance orally yes but so isn't driving down hwy 98 in FLA LOL.
Norm&Sharon
Norm&Sharon
For us condoms are MUST..no matter what.
I do believe it is an interesting topic. Most people have said that condoms are a must but tale a good look at profiles and see if they really do. It doesn't matter how long We know someone they are only as safe as their last partner. There is one scenerio that we would not wear condoms and that would be an couple or group that has sex only within that group of people. People could be added ut they would be condom only for appx one year and 2 tests. There are new straines of old diseases/STD's out there that are now drug resistant... As well as the current list of killers and we can't cure them's. There seems to be a new study that now says that HIV is being transmitted orally now so the old oral is safer is no longer valid. One can use a dental dam or a piece of kitchen plastic wrap as a dental dam. Oh BTW if you brush your teeth, you may be opening small abrasions which will allow germs or virus to enter... The new finger things for brushing your teeth and a good antibacterial mouthwash are best for cleaning you mouth.
Ray
Ray
Whoa dude.. could you put the link on here of that study? Thats scary... transmitted orally too... Its sad though.. africa is just about dead now from aids... you would think by now people would get the idea to use condoms
Dental dams and condoms! Actually, the dental dams are the new kind of stuff that are easy to use and really flexible. Works great and with the right attitude can be a fun part of the process as well.
Sex isn\'t worth suffering an infection or death for either of us, so if someone doesn\'t want to play safe, we would rather just not play.
We can always satisfy each other however we wish later!
Sex isn\'t worth suffering an infection or death for either of us, so if someone doesn\'t want to play safe, we would rather just not play.
We can always satisfy each other however we wish later!We are mixed.....With friends who produce a current test, we go bareback all the way, otherwise we use latex. However, even with latex I like to have my partner finish on me.
I prefer to give BBBJ but if someone is uncomfortable I will use a flavored condom. My other half he is happy just playing LOL.
I prefer to give BBBJ but if someone is uncomfortable I will use a flavored condom. My other half he is happy just playing LOL.
We\'re tested every six months. Condoms are and have been used with almost every couples we\'ve been with. There are a couple friends who we\'ve known for so long and are as adamant about protection and testing as we are that we have foregone protection in the heat of the moment with them. Since there are only a couple of couples who fall into that category, it\'s obviously extremely rare.
Nothing in life is a guarantee, not even a condom. Risk is a part of this lifestyle, but then again, you\'re much more likely to die driving to work than you are of an STD contracted while swinging, so putting it into perspective, I believe we\'re eliminating almost any dangers from our swinging activity by insisting on protection with any new friends, almost all old friends, and getting tested twice a year.
-Roger (& T)
Nothing in life is a guarantee, not even a condom. Risk is a part of this lifestyle, but then again, you\'re much more likely to die driving to work than you are of an STD contracted while swinging, so putting it into perspective, I believe we\'re eliminating almost any dangers from our swinging activity by insisting on protection with any new friends, almost all old friends, and getting tested twice a year.
-Roger (& T)
We now have the rule that we always use condoms. And we are still shopping around for the best ones that work for hubby. He would prefer not having to use them but not enough that he is going to stop. (Side Note: red condoms can have a BAD visual connotation for some guys)
I admit that when we started out we didn\'t use them the first couple of times we played. We then discovered that the first couple we played with doesn\'t use them at all. They had some of the same arguments I\'ve seen posted here. The fact that STD\'s can be transmitted via oral sex, condoms don\'t feel right, etc. I can see those points. But then we found out that they don\'t get tested at all and he picks up random chicks while traveling (with wife\'s knowledge and permision) I think that is the point that makes me the most uncomfortable. Most of the swingers we have met so far are very aware of STD\'s and take some precautions such as getting tested, condoms, etc. But I have seen the statistics on STD\'s in single sexually active people and it\'s like 1 in 4 and most don\'t know they are infected. So he is playing russian roulette in my opinion. We didn\'t know all this before we played with them.
So I guess the moral of the story is to talk with potential partners and ask questions!! For us newbies, it may be awkward and feel like you are being crass, nosy, or killing the spark, but the other couple should be willing to at least discuss it or maybe they aren\'t right for you!!
Carrie V.
I admit that when we started out we didn\'t use them the first couple of times we played. We then discovered that the first couple we played with doesn\'t use them at all. They had some of the same arguments I\'ve seen posted here. The fact that STD\'s can be transmitted via oral sex, condoms don\'t feel right, etc. I can see those points. But then we found out that they don\'t get tested at all and he picks up random chicks while traveling (with wife\'s knowledge and permision) I think that is the point that makes me the most uncomfortable. Most of the swingers we have met so far are very aware of STD\'s and take some precautions such as getting tested, condoms, etc. But I have seen the statistics on STD\'s in single sexually active people and it\'s like 1 in 4 and most don\'t know they are infected. So he is playing russian roulette in my opinion. We didn\'t know all this before we played with them.
So I guess the moral of the story is to talk with potential partners and ask questions!! For us newbies, it may be awkward and feel like you are being crass, nosy, or killing the spark, but the other couple should be willing to at least discuss it or maybe they aren\'t right for you!!
Carrie V.
Condoms, Condoms, Condoms. Did I say Condoms? Buy a pack of 12 before each occasion and switch condoms often!!! To me the sex is much better when you dont have to worry about catching something.
What about this....This is safe sex right???? Lol...
Condoms? Yes, please.
However...I can think of quite a few reasons why some people are opposed to using them; Intimacy, sensation, alergies, penis size, etc. None of them seems compelling enough to me to make an acception though...
As \"swingers\" there is very very very little possibility that we (despite the fact that mRs. Luvbugs is \"fixed\") would allow anyone to be with either of us unless there was protection involved. In 12 years we have seen unwanted pregnancys, a paternity suit that became very nasty, STD\'s passed from one couple to another, and complete dishonesty about the sexual history of the person in question. What cracks us both up is when we get these letters that say \"Vasectomy SAFE.\" Get the f**k outta here! Are you serious? Safe from what? Pregnancy? A condom will do that nicely buddy, and as long as you arent trying to fuck a hole in someones back, they shouldnt really break all that often.
Everyone believes that they have led a good life and have avoided the contraction of an STD. I would like to be able to accept that fact in good faith, but there is no way I can allow myself to think in such a naiive manner. There are even those in this world who would KNOWINGLY pass a deadly disease such as AIDS to another person out of pure spite that they themselves have contracted it. There are risks with oral sex as well, but the probability of contracting anything serious is atleast somewhat less then through vaginal intercourse.
I just cant see it. It amazes me. A person would have to be plain stupid to take that risk.
Just our .02 cents.
Luvbugs! (mR.)
However...I can think of quite a few reasons why some people are opposed to using them; Intimacy, sensation, alergies, penis size, etc. None of them seems compelling enough to me to make an acception though...
As \"swingers\" there is very very very little possibility that we (despite the fact that mRs. Luvbugs is \"fixed\") would allow anyone to be with either of us unless there was protection involved. In 12 years we have seen unwanted pregnancys, a paternity suit that became very nasty, STD\'s passed from one couple to another, and complete dishonesty about the sexual history of the person in question. What cracks us both up is when we get these letters that say \"Vasectomy SAFE.\" Get the f**k outta here! Are you serious? Safe from what? Pregnancy? A condom will do that nicely buddy, and as long as you arent trying to fuck a hole in someones back, they shouldnt really break all that often.
Everyone believes that they have led a good life and have avoided the contraction of an STD. I would like to be able to accept that fact in good faith, but there is no way I can allow myself to think in such a naiive manner. There are even those in this world who would KNOWINGLY pass a deadly disease such as AIDS to another person out of pure spite that they themselves have contracted it. There are risks with oral sex as well, but the probability of contracting anything serious is atleast somewhat less then through vaginal intercourse.
I just cant see it. It amazes me. A person would have to be plain stupid to take that risk.
Just our .02 cents.
Luvbugs! (mR.)
We use condoms. No babies please! I suppose if we really got to know someone, we might consider no condoms with them. But probably not
Hate them...But no glove no love...no penetration without them...and if you are allergic to them, lambskin with nonoxydol-9 works also...yes...Std\'s morph into new ways, and they do become resistant to drugs...thus the need to see a doctor if you SUSPECT you have ANYTHING...From the male: Hate them, they ruin the mood, they are hard to get on (I am larger than most, and the ring does not go over the head easily), and they ruin the sensations...Her- It only takes a second to save a life....We have heard ALL the excuses, all of them are quite good, some more creative than others, but NONE are worth getting sick over...As to the one who said IV drugs and anal sex are the main culprits....Check your facts, it is not the 70\'s or 80\'s any longer, it is now the year 2006, the number one rise in new cases of HIV is teens and middle aged people...Teens number 1 and middle aged (40-55) are number 2....Teens are immortal and middle aged think they are beyond the age that gets it...an astronishing bit of data is the senior citizen section...All we can recommend is to do your research...a Negative test does not mean they are negative...it means they MAY NOT (no guarantee) have been exposed to the virus in the last 6 months...
We don\'t like them, but we sure as hell use them. We like to know that aour partners are as concerned about safety as we are.
Gotta have teh glove if you want the love. Believe me we both wish it wasn\'t needed but have to try to be somewhat safe.
Our 2 sents
Tandvplay
Our 2 sents
Tandvplay
** The latest from the CDC is that all STDs are also transmitted via oral sex. So, unless one uses an oral contraceptive devise, any oral activity can transmit STDs. The CDC also found that use of lubricants have more of an effect in reducing STDs than do condoms. It is a known fact the AIDS virus is so small as to pass right through a condom, plus the fact that 30% of the best condoms fail. Condoms are not recommended for preventing pregnancy either. **
It would be interesting to uhhh, study these studies.
**Another recent study has shown that use of condoms cause more infections than not using them. The vaginal wall gets dry with their use and minute abrasions occur. This allows blood products to mingle (as happens with anal intercourse since the rectal wall is very susceptive to micro tears).**
Vaginal tears due to IMPROPER use of a condom, sure I beleive it. You shouldnt saddle up without the proper lubrication. The condom would be prone to ripping or tearing. I am sure that it would be quite uncomfortable to the lady anyway. So if you are shoving or working or using a semi dry condom in an unfortunate friend...dear god man, use some lubrication!
More infections than not using them? Come on.
Condoms are NOT recommended as a proven form of birth control?
AIDS is so small that it can pass through condoms? Sheepskin, perhaps. Did I sleep through micro biology when we opened our books to the section entitled \"polymers and latex?\" How can a lubricant have more of an effect reducing STD\'s than a condom? How is that POSSIBLE? Did you mean a spermacide?
Where did you get this information? I would be interested to read it myself to consider the source.
Luvbugs! (mR)
:q
It would be interesting to uhhh, study these studies.
**Another recent study has shown that use of condoms cause more infections than not using them. The vaginal wall gets dry with their use and minute abrasions occur. This allows blood products to mingle (as happens with anal intercourse since the rectal wall is very susceptive to micro tears).**
Vaginal tears due to IMPROPER use of a condom, sure I beleive it. You shouldnt saddle up without the proper lubrication. The condom would be prone to ripping or tearing. I am sure that it would be quite uncomfortable to the lady anyway. So if you are shoving or working or using a semi dry condom in an unfortunate friend...dear god man, use some lubrication!
More infections than not using them? Come on.
Condoms are NOT recommended as a proven form of birth control?
AIDS is so small that it can pass through condoms? Sheepskin, perhaps. Did I sleep through micro biology when we opened our books to the section entitled \"polymers and latex?\" How can a lubricant have more of an effect reducing STD\'s than a condom? How is that POSSIBLE? Did you mean a spermacide?
Where did you get this information? I would be interested to read it myself to consider the source.
Luvbugs! (mR)
:q
Grow up people!!!!!
There\'s only 3 kinds of \"safe Sex\"....
(1)) Abstinence: (Sound like a lot of quiet movies at home watching things like \"Old Yeller\" and \"On Golden Pond\".
(2) Monogamy: (Sounds really boring, who wants to play checkers?)
(3) Having sex with us. (Well it\'s not that safe but you will die with a smile on your face and save the movie rental fee.)
Now, lets see the hands of those picking #3 ? ..... you Checker fuggers can go to your room now.
There\'s only 3 kinds of \"safe Sex\"....
(1)) Abstinence: (Sound like a lot of quiet movies at home watching things like \"Old Yeller\" and \"On Golden Pond\".
(2) Monogamy: (Sounds really boring, who wants to play checkers?)
(3) Having sex with us. (Well it\'s not that safe but you will die with a smile on your face and save the movie rental fee.)
Now, lets see the hands of those picking #3 ? ..... you Checker fuggers can go to your room now.
Condoms are an absolute!!! And everyone is told that up front, BEFORE the meeting. Yes, we have had guys complain - performance/sensation, etc., but the choice was theirs to use one or leave. No choice on this topic. Call us narrow minded! lol
Condoms are a MUST for us...........even flavored ones for oral. Our question is, we\'ve heard of a device called \"Dental Dam\" for oral on the ladies...........does it work? Where can you purchase it etc etc......
JK
JK