recently we met a so called couple on this site. we hit it off, chatted with this couple on yahoo several times, traded pics, cell phone numbers, and planned a meeting. we planned a camping trip, and braught our boat for a wisconsin river trip to mazo (nude) beach.we even agreed to go 1 day earlier (thursday) to get a good campsite and check out the area.
after driving 2 1/2 hours with the boat in toe we arrived at the campsite and tried to call our new friends only to find that they gave us thr wrong number.we set out to find a computer to recheck the number and try to reach them by and made the attempt at a public library only to find out the email used to send us pics was now suspended.
once we returned home, we tried contacting this couple thru swingular, only to be ignored. after several attempts, we desided to report this couple to adminnistration here. we got 1 response about 1 week later from adminn. saying they would look into it.
with there always being 2 sides to a story, there could be a reasonable explination for getting stood up and we realize this but that doesn't explain being ignored. under these circomstances, we only ask that this couple prove to swingular that they are who they say they are via the validation , as we are willing and have tried several times to do.
we also tried to get our profile validated as real members by first, following the instructions via webcam on yahoo. no response. we sent in a pic with the date,handle, and swingular poster as instructions say. no response! sent it in again, weeks later still no reponse. if the picture we sent wasn't good enough, at least adminn. could respond to say what they'd like different...with in the 48 hours as the automatic email response says when you send it in.
one forum topic authored by adminn, is how to make swingular more fun? MAKE SWINGULAR SAFER ! the tools are in place . validated members seeking validated members and incouraging others to get validated would go along ways in making swingular a safer place.
sinse we got nowhere trying to deal with this privately we're turning to the forum. at this point we don't know if this "couple" is a couple,or picture hunters, con artists or whatever. they could have set us up and robbed our home while we were waiting for them 2 1/2 hours away.could even be a nice couple that did nothing wrong and just affraid to respond to a missunderstanding? and who's pics did they send us?we just don't know. it's really too bad, they missed out on a beatiful wisconsin river experience.
don't let it happen to you. we don't know what the problem is with our validation but will keep trying and ask the rest of you to do the same. get validated, protect each other, then maybe we can have fun?
after driving 2 1/2 hours with the boat in toe we arrived at the campsite and tried to call our new friends only to find that they gave us thr wrong number.we set out to find a computer to recheck the number and try to reach them by and made the attempt at a public library only to find out the email used to send us pics was now suspended.
once we returned home, we tried contacting this couple thru swingular, only to be ignored. after several attempts, we desided to report this couple to adminnistration here. we got 1 response about 1 week later from adminn. saying they would look into it.
with there always being 2 sides to a story, there could be a reasonable explination for getting stood up and we realize this but that doesn't explain being ignored. under these circomstances, we only ask that this couple prove to swingular that they are who they say they are via the validation , as we are willing and have tried several times to do.
we also tried to get our profile validated as real members by first, following the instructions via webcam on yahoo. no response. we sent in a pic with the date,handle, and swingular poster as instructions say. no response! sent it in again, weeks later still no reponse. if the picture we sent wasn't good enough, at least adminn. could respond to say what they'd like different...with in the 48 hours as the automatic email response says when you send it in.
one forum topic authored by adminn, is how to make swingular more fun? MAKE SWINGULAR SAFER ! the tools are in place . validated members seeking validated members and incouraging others to get validated would go along ways in making swingular a safer place.
sinse we got nowhere trying to deal with this privately we're turning to the forum. at this point we don't know if this "couple" is a couple,or picture hunters, con artists or whatever. they could have set us up and robbed our home while we were waiting for them 2 1/2 hours away.could even be a nice couple that did nothing wrong and just affraid to respond to a missunderstanding? and who's pics did they send us?we just don't know. it's really too bad, they missed out on a beatiful wisconsin river experience.
don't let it happen to you. we don't know what the problem is with our validation but will keep trying and ask the rest of you to do the same. get validated, protect each other, then maybe we can have fun?
You've struck on an interesting topic. I call them cyber swingers. They are swinger wanna be's . They find the thought of swinging erotic and interesting but they don't have the balls to actually get involved in the lifestyle. They like to hide behind the safety of their computer screen. They'll exchange email with you as long as you're willing or dumb enough to keep writing them. They'll never actually meet you or anyone else. That would be way too personal and would force them to crawl out from behind the security of their computer. Or you ocasionally run into the single guy that has created this fictional "couple". It's all a big game for him. He's just there to collect photos or maybe trick someone into playing with him because his wifes is "unavailable " at the moment. Whatever their game they're all the same because they both violate the principles of honesty and trust that the lifestyle revolves on.
We get email all the time from couples that "have read your profile--think you guys are great and want to get to know you better". That generally sends off alarm bells for us. We'll respond and exchange an email or two. If the other couple doesn't have pics posted or pics of just one of them we ask for additional photos in the first email. Since we have good pics of both of us in our profile we never send any other pics other than those posted. If we get the "don't have any pics of him or he's camera shy or don't have a camera yet" or any one of the other lame excuses we've gotten over the past year or so--that's it--you're done as far as we're concerned. We'll give out our cell phone number right away and tell them to call us or give us theirs and we'll call them. We want to speak to both of them. If we can't because one's not there we'll call back at a more convenient time when we can talk to both of them. If everything seems ok during the conversation we'll make a date to meet at a convenient restaurant or club and take things from there. This seems to work well for us. It tends to weed out the "cyber swinger" right away.
John & Colleen
We get email all the time from couples that "have read your profile--think you guys are great and want to get to know you better". That generally sends off alarm bells for us. We'll respond and exchange an email or two. If the other couple doesn't have pics posted or pics of just one of them we ask for additional photos in the first email. Since we have good pics of both of us in our profile we never send any other pics other than those posted. If we get the "don't have any pics of him or he's camera shy or don't have a camera yet" or any one of the other lame excuses we've gotten over the past year or so--that's it--you're done as far as we're concerned. We'll give out our cell phone number right away and tell them to call us or give us theirs and we'll call them. We want to speak to both of them. If we can't because one's not there we'll call back at a more convenient time when we can talk to both of them. If everything seems ok during the conversation we'll make a date to meet at a convenient restaurant or club and take things from there. This seems to work well for us. It tends to weed out the "cyber swinger" right away.
John & Colleen
i have been in the life style for a long time . and i have never had problems like this . for one i like to chat alot on the computer and get toknow someone first before i say iam going tomeet them anywhere . i see a problem with yall loading everything up and wanting to spend time on a vaction trip with someone u dont even know . i think meeting them first for a bit before u plan anything like that is safer . u gave ex. for the site to help make it safer . but really u were going to spend them weekend with them withouteven meeting them before . so to me that is not safe at all . as for what happen . i dont know . it all sounds a bit weird to send messages through an email that is suspend . and they gave u the wrong number . so i would watch out . if they were real then they would have called u to tell u something was wrong . we like to meet everybody at the club and see how we click and then take things from there that way if we dont get along then there is other people around to talk to .
about the site . i have wrote to them about a few things and i have always gotten an email back . so i have never had problems with that . yes it took them a bit longer then other sites iam on but my questions werent that much of a big deal . owning a site is alot of work . so i understand that . and if u wrote to them to tell them about this problem but also told them the same story that u wrote . they might just see it as u trying to hunt these people down . cause they didnt show up . but if u were going to spend the weekend with them without knowing them then thats not the sites fault . if they are real or not . cause u jumped into that relationship without doing your own homework on them . the life style is a great thing . but just cause people are in the life style doenst mean they are safer then reg people . being the life style just means that they share an open life style like u do . yes the people are alot nicer and stuff like that . but that doesnt mean that u can trust them all . yes sites have ways to help weed out the really bad ones or fake ones . but it shouldnt just be up to them to help keep us safe . we also need to put some thought into how and where we meet these people at .
naughty dreams
freaky kitty
about the site . i have wrote to them about a few things and i have always gotten an email back . so i have never had problems with that . yes it took them a bit longer then other sites iam on but my questions werent that much of a big deal . owning a site is alot of work . so i understand that . and if u wrote to them to tell them about this problem but also told them the same story that u wrote . they might just see it as u trying to hunt these people down . cause they didnt show up . but if u were going to spend the weekend with them without knowing them then thats not the sites fault . if they are real or not . cause u jumped into that relationship without doing your own homework on them . the life style is a great thing . but just cause people are in the life style doenst mean they are safer then reg people . being the life style just means that they share an open life style like u do . yes the people are alot nicer and stuff like that . but that doesnt mean that u can trust them all . yes sites have ways to help weed out the really bad ones or fake ones . but it shouldnt just be up to them to help keep us safe . we also need to put some thought into how and where we meet these people at .
naughty dreams
freaky kitty
CYBER SWINGERS strike again! We had the same thing happen to us although we only drove 2 hrs this cpl must have exchanged 40 messages with us over a 3 month period they were so excited to meet us in person we showed they didn't! They were supposeably traveling to Florida on vacation we called them on the cell only got a voice mail and never heard from them again! We wish people would just be HONEST when we say we willbe someplace for a meeting we are there or we call before hand to say something has come up never leave a cpl wondering. its a fact of life in this lifestyle we simply try to make the best of it like that night we sat there enjoyed a drink and watched this beautiful blond sing and play the piano then we simply drove home and laughed and said "NEXT"! We have learned to not take the lifestyle too serious its ashame some people continue to play these petty mindgames but we know its a fact in this lifestyle. Ever want to visit North Florida look us up we WILL show up.
Norm&Sharon
Norm&Sharon
We have had a similar problem, but not on this site. On several occasions My Little Princess and I made plans to meet someone (social meeting, nothing more promised or expected) and we were stood up. Most of the time it was single guys, so My Princess has refused to consider them anymore.
But on one occasion we DID get to have a social meeting with a couple and next day emailed about plans for a play meeting at a gorgeous upscale hotel (Jacuzzi in the room, etc.) We got there and after 3 hours called them. "Oh, was it today?" was the response, and then they disappeared.
What can you do? :v
But on one occasion we DID get to have a social meeting with a couple and next day emailed about plans for a play meeting at a gorgeous upscale hotel (Jacuzzi in the room, etc.) We got there and after 3 hours called them. "Oh, was it today?" was the response, and then they disappeared.
What can you do? :v
Really sorry to hear about your bad experience and I guess we all have to deal with the possibility that someones gonna scam us, betray our trust or just be a complete shithead.
We've been in the lifestyle for a little over 4 years now and thank god we've never been stood up and have been very fortunate with the people we've met. Have to agree with Keysflyer though... it's probably not a good idea to plan a trip like that without first meeting them face to face or playing a couple of times. We always trade several emails, ask a lot of questions, trade pics and then chat on the phone first. Then we'll meet for dinner or drinks no more than 90 minutes away and if they don't show up we were going out to dinner anyway so we just enjoy ourselves without them. We usually call them just before we leave to let them know we are on our way and make sure something didn't come up on their end. If they show up it doesn't take us long to see whether or not we click and we'll either have a nice dinner with them and say goodbye or set up another meeting so they can discuss it or sometimes even play if the attractions there. After we've known each other for a while and have played together and feel things are going well then we may plan a trip together or overnight stay somewhere.
We have been scammed by the guys posing as couples or even posing as women and have to admit they can be very creative and believeable at times but if you stick to your ground rules it'll become obvious whats going on no matter how hot they appear or how much you all have in common. We've already weeded out 2 in the past 2 weeks. Saves us a lot of headaches.
It's always tempting to want to trust someone if things seem to be going very well but thats always the door to potential problems too. Some are very good at making you believe they are who they say they are and some aren't... just pic collectors or hoping you'll agree to just meeting the male half because the wife is always unavailable or whatever. I guess the worst actor we've seen was on this site... we got the "We may be coming to your area soon. Can you add us to your friends list so I'll be able to keep track of the people who are interested in meeting?". Just a scam to get to your private pics. We do have to admit that we do like playing with their minds though. We don't feel guilty about messing with anyones mind that think we're that stupid.
It's amazing all the people that replied to this thread that said they've been stood up.... you all are all such nice looking couples! We'd be there a day early just so we didn't miss anything lol!
Again, just screen as best as you can and try not to make exceptions to your rules.
We've been in the lifestyle for a little over 4 years now and thank god we've never been stood up and have been very fortunate with the people we've met. Have to agree with Keysflyer though... it's probably not a good idea to plan a trip like that without first meeting them face to face or playing a couple of times. We always trade several emails, ask a lot of questions, trade pics and then chat on the phone first. Then we'll meet for dinner or drinks no more than 90 minutes away and if they don't show up we were going out to dinner anyway so we just enjoy ourselves without them. We usually call them just before we leave to let them know we are on our way and make sure something didn't come up on their end. If they show up it doesn't take us long to see whether or not we click and we'll either have a nice dinner with them and say goodbye or set up another meeting so they can discuss it or sometimes even play if the attractions there. After we've known each other for a while and have played together and feel things are going well then we may plan a trip together or overnight stay somewhere.
We have been scammed by the guys posing as couples or even posing as women and have to admit they can be very creative and believeable at times but if you stick to your ground rules it'll become obvious whats going on no matter how hot they appear or how much you all have in common. We've already weeded out 2 in the past 2 weeks. Saves us a lot of headaches.
It's always tempting to want to trust someone if things seem to be going very well but thats always the door to potential problems too. Some are very good at making you believe they are who they say they are and some aren't... just pic collectors or hoping you'll agree to just meeting the male half because the wife is always unavailable or whatever. I guess the worst actor we've seen was on this site... we got the "We may be coming to your area soon. Can you add us to your friends list so I'll be able to keep track of the people who are interested in meeting?". Just a scam to get to your private pics. We do have to admit that we do like playing with their minds though. We don't feel guilty about messing with anyones mind that think we're that stupid.
It's amazing all the people that replied to this thread that said they've been stood up.... you all are all such nice looking couples! We'd be there a day early just so we didn't miss anything lol!
Again, just screen as best as you can and try not to make exceptions to your rules.
there are alot of good ideas here and still think everyone getting validated is a good idea we would still like to be validated ourselves. don't want to start any headhunting or anything for this" couple" just wanted to vent a little and make others aware of the mistakes we made and how easily one can be decieved. yes freaky kitty, it would be nice to meet before planning a vacation, but that's not always possible. they are from another state and would have had to travel too.we did waist alot of time trying to contact them, camped out anyways and had a beautiful day on the river despite the no show. as far as adminn.? maybe they are on vacation or something. we still haven't herd anything from them and don't think we are asking too much by asking them to validate the "couple" in question. we are willing to prove we are who we say we are and have tried but we've gotten no response at all.
at this time we see maybe 1 out of 20 on this site has been validated. would like to see more as just another tool to protect ourselves with. we are not blaming swingular for our missfortune.we made some stupid mistakes and assumptions that we wont make again and by posting , we hope that none of you will make too.
at this time we see maybe 1 out of 20 on this site has been validated. would like to see more as just another tool to protect ourselves with. we are not blaming swingular for our missfortune.we made some stupid mistakes and assumptions that we wont make again and by posting , we hope that none of you will make too.
WOW that sux.....
what we do to avoid it all is easy... plan to meet them for dinner and drinks the first night... if they don't show.. cool.. you guys are still set to have a good time...
the whole vacationing thing can wait.. at least until the third or fourth meeting......
just a suggestion.... what do i know?
papa....
what we do to avoid it all is easy... plan to meet them for dinner and drinks the first night... if they don't show.. cool.. you guys are still set to have a good time...
the whole vacationing thing can wait.. at least until the third or fourth meeting......
just a suggestion.... what do i know?
papa....
papa, with over 300 miles between couples you would meet for drinks then what, drive home? ok say they are only 5 minutes away, they're coming to your nieghborhood. who's to say while you are waiting for them at the bar that they aren't at your home robbing your house? finding the adress of a computer isn't very hard to do especially if you've traded email with them or even cell phone numbers.
get verified and ask other to. other sites do it and the ones who stick to it have a sense of community and higher rates of hooking up with real people in your area and help weed out the spam , pretenders, pic collectors ect.
get verified and ask other to. other sites do it and the ones who stick to it have a sense of community and higher rates of hooking up with real people in your area and help weed out the spam , pretenders, pic collectors ect.
fair enough but personally.. we wouldn't travel 300 miles to meet a couple....
sorry.. if their not close enough to be met in an hour drive max.. they are out of reach..
as for the robbing our house.. we all take that chance everytime we leave it right?.....
don't get me wrong.. i know that must have sucked to have had that happen.. it always sucks to be stood up....
i also agree with you about the validating membership..
however... in this world there are a few things we don't control... and even fewer we can.. the stress i may cause myself and my baby in order to find some good times is one of those i can... and i was just simply stating that i wouldn't go through that much stress for something that wasn't a sure thing......i would have done it and do it the way i suggested .....
didn't mean to upset....
sorry.. if their not close enough to be met in an hour drive max.. they are out of reach..
as for the robbing our house.. we all take that chance everytime we leave it right?.....
don't get me wrong.. i know that must have sucked to have had that happen.. it always sucks to be stood up....
i also agree with you about the validating membership..
however... in this world there are a few things we don't control... and even fewer we can.. the stress i may cause myself and my baby in order to find some good times is one of those i can... and i was just simply stating that i wouldn't go through that much stress for something that wasn't a sure thing......i would have done it and do it the way i suggested .....
didn't mean to upset....
no one is upset. the wisconsin river is one of the most beautiful places we know. we just wanted to share it with another couple. they missed out. the river was still beautiful and enjoyed every minute we had out there.. we go there as often as we can and the biggest bummer was waisting time waiting and wondering what happened.
we've done different boat/camping trips many times before on the wi. river with just the two of us. we'd still like to share this experience with a couple or group. will be more carefull in the future tho.
good luck to you all, be safe. lets have some fun.
we've done different boat/camping trips many times before on the wi. river with just the two of us. we'd still like to share this experience with a couple or group. will be more carefull in the future tho.
good luck to you all, be safe. lets have some fun.
Sorry to hear about your bad experience. It is sad when people can't be realize. Just don't see why people have to lie and pretend.
We were at Mazo beach for Labor Day weekend. It was beautiful all weekend. Hope you were able to enjoy yourselves without them.
I think the validation system is a great idea. Hopefully Swingular will adopt something like that.
We run several groups on yahoo and have helped set up many parties. Therefore, we know alot of people (not saying that we have played with them all though.. LOL) If you would like to send us an IM to discuss this more and (if you are confortable) letting us know who this couple's ID is. Sometimes by asking others about certain IDs is a good idea. Like an informal validation system. It is good to know ahead of time who is real and who is not real.
We have been in lifestyle for 13 years now. We are REAL! We do realize that we are not what you are looking for in a couple. But feel free to contact us at anytime to talk to us about any concerns or to ask any questions.
Wish you the best of Luck! *Hugs*
Carrie (Blaze) and Steve (Spike)
We were at Mazo beach for Labor Day weekend. It was beautiful all weekend. Hope you were able to enjoy yourselves without them.
I think the validation system is a great idea. Hopefully Swingular will adopt something like that.
We run several groups on yahoo and have helped set up many parties. Therefore, we know alot of people (not saying that we have played with them all though.. LOL) If you would like to send us an IM to discuss this more and (if you are confortable) letting us know who this couple's ID is. Sometimes by asking others about certain IDs is a good idea. Like an informal validation system. It is good to know ahead of time who is real and who is not real.
We have been in lifestyle for 13 years now. We are REAL! We do realize that we are not what you are looking for in a couple. But feel free to contact us at anytime to talk to us about any concerns or to ask any questions.
Wish you the best of Luck! *Hugs*
Carrie (Blaze) and Steve (Spike)
We've only been stood up once (for dinner) by a couple. Had talked to them on the phone a few times and then again about 2 hours before we were to meet and they said they were definitely going to meet us.
They never showed, we waited an hour past the time and just went and ate ourselves. Tried calling their cell - no answer and yes - never heard from them again. She was nervous about meeting even though we had reassured her - we never play on the first meeting anyway. This is just to say hello, meet you in person and go from there. We have learned that the best way is to meet someone first - even if they live down the street. I myself do not want the pressure of having to say sorry to someone who was expecting more on a weekend trip if it turns out I just can't stand them for whatever reason.
For that reason, we rarely meet couples from farther than 30 mins to an hour away. If we do, we make it very clear it's just for dinner nothing more. If we do all click, then plans are made for another time even if we are really getting along well and would consider more - I just think it is better for everyone concerned AND it makes the anticipation all the better.
People who are intrigued by the lifestyle but haven't had much experience are the most likely to stand you up. They are nervous and sometimes just chicken out and don't know what to say to you so they disappear. Not the best way to handle it but it happens.
I also have to say, sometimes real circumstances happen. We stood someone up for dinner but it was unintentional. An auto accident earlier in the afternoon happened and we totally didn't even think about the dinner engagement that evening. At the hospital, I get a call on my cell asking where we were. Oops! Forgot all about it. Of course, apologies were made and of course they understood. But we also didn't just ignore the situation and disappear either. Another dinner was planned at another time.
They never showed, we waited an hour past the time and just went and ate ourselves. Tried calling their cell - no answer and yes - never heard from them again. She was nervous about meeting even though we had reassured her - we never play on the first meeting anyway. This is just to say hello, meet you in person and go from there. We have learned that the best way is to meet someone first - even if they live down the street. I myself do not want the pressure of having to say sorry to someone who was expecting more on a weekend trip if it turns out I just can't stand them for whatever reason.
For that reason, we rarely meet couples from farther than 30 mins to an hour away. If we do, we make it very clear it's just for dinner nothing more. If we do all click, then plans are made for another time even if we are really getting along well and would consider more - I just think it is better for everyone concerned AND it makes the anticipation all the better.
People who are intrigued by the lifestyle but haven't had much experience are the most likely to stand you up. They are nervous and sometimes just chicken out and don't know what to say to you so they disappear. Not the best way to handle it but it happens.
I also have to say, sometimes real circumstances happen. We stood someone up for dinner but it was unintentional. An auto accident earlier in the afternoon happened and we totally didn't even think about the dinner engagement that evening. At the hospital, I get a call on my cell asking where we were. Oops! Forgot all about it. Of course, apologies were made and of course they understood. But we also didn't just ignore the situation and disappear either. Another dinner was planned at another time.
Hmmmmmmmm.. wonder how they were able to get validated if they are not real. Interesting.. ty for the heads up!
The only way someone can get a VIP seal is by meeting one of the admins in person or by doing a webcam session where we ask the members to do different gestures to make sure its not a faked video stream. There is no other way to get this seal and it's reserved for SINGLE FEMALES and COUPLES only.
As for REAL seals, you can get one of these by sending us a picture that clearly shows you (and your spouse if applicable) holding a hand written sign with dates and other information. Yes, someone could try to fake this but I've been a professional graphic designer for over 10 years and can tell fakes VERY well. The other way to get a REAL seal is to have a VIP member validate you but I'm sure that a couple or single female with VIP status would be very cautious to not give this to someone they never met. We record all REAL seal transactions and will take away someones VIP seal if they violated the policies.
Other sites use different systems for validation and rely HEAVILY on the end user to do the validations for them. We do not.
If you do know of someone with a REAL seal that shouldn't have one, please let us know and we will investigate.
And last, we will be implementing another system to help determine the trustworthiness, quality and reliability of members without hurting them in a negative way. I'd give details but I want to wait until we launch the system so we are, again, the first to introduce such a great idea to help our members.
As for REAL seals, you can get one of these by sending us a picture that clearly shows you (and your spouse if applicable) holding a hand written sign with dates and other information. Yes, someone could try to fake this but I've been a professional graphic designer for over 10 years and can tell fakes VERY well. The other way to get a REAL seal is to have a VIP member validate you but I'm sure that a couple or single female with VIP status would be very cautious to not give this to someone they never met. We record all REAL seal transactions and will take away someones VIP seal if they violated the policies.
Other sites use different systems for validation and rely HEAVILY on the end user to do the validations for them. We do not.
If you do know of someone with a REAL seal that shouldn't have one, please let us know and we will investigate.
And last, we will be implementing another system to help determine the trustworthiness, quality and reliability of members without hurting them in a negative way. I'd give details but I want to wait until we launch the system so we are, again, the first to introduce such a great idea to help our members.
We will not even exchange telephone calls until we have met.. We can IM or email on the site until we feel confortable that we want to meet.. which is probably the 1st or 2nd time we exchange notes. Then we contact via email or IM and suggest that we meet at a food court in a mall close to or between each of the couples. That limits to a short drive to the house.. As for break ins they better have a gun cause I have a wolf and a hound that are very protective of their territory unless mommy or daddy says it's OK and if we are gone they know to kill anything that trys to come in... Now back to the mall... NO reservations at a resturante. No dressing up and showing a side of you that isn't really real. If you get stood up then go shopping.. the little ladies willl show you how if you haven't been innitiated.... besides the ladies can do some shopping when you actually meet after you've sat around and talked a while and had a beer or coffee or soft drink... whatever... It's a no lose situation and not too far for either party to feel confortable... Maybe you've met the couple that comes to the club or party and can barely afford it.. Maybe the couple that you are to meet are low on cash... and a resturant or bar is a bit steep... So it's not always what it seems when people don't show..Besides that same couple that may have otherwise gotten cold feet will probably show up because they can just be themselves.
Just my 2 cents worth.. Ray
Just my 2 cents worth.. Ray
I have to disagree with you on your valadation process.. the ONLY thing that your photo or cam session proves is that it is a real person NOT a real swinger.
In order for someone to prove that they are a REAL swinger.... There has to be some kind of reference referral from other swingers.
Holding up a sign does NOT provide if they are swingers or not!!!
BTW.... the couple that started this forum topic are REAL!!! We have never played with them but we have seen them at several parties. They are as real as they come.
Carrie
In order for someone to prove that they are a REAL swinger.... There has to be some kind of reference referral from other swingers.
Holding up a sign does NOT provide if they are swingers or not!!!
BTW.... the couple that started this forum topic are REAL!!! We have never played with them but we have seen them at several parties. They are as real as they come.
Carrie
I think you need to grow a new sense about people. Do you feel confortable with them over the net before you do anything. Do they seem to be real.. Can they spell simple words, is their grammer adult, how do they phrase things. Many times one can ascertain quite a lot by how and what someone says. Then we have kind of an unwritten rules:
1. Talk with people via the medium .. IM... the site we're on email and give no personal info until you feel that the people are at least stable.
2. Don't meet people or find people over an hour or so driving time
3 Meet very informally... We've found that a mall with a food court is a great place to meet. If the other couple fail to show take the misses shopping...
4. Once you meet you can exchange phone numbers or addresses as you feel comfortable doing. Maybe after the informal meeting meet at a local swingers club or dinner or bowling...what ever works to make sure they are a good match....and trustworthy.
5. The fun is open and go for the gold...
As for certifying couples... what does it mean other than there are really 2 people on the other end of that computer unless it is done by your peers who have met and or played with you. Certification is about as valued as is the pictures on a web-site. They could be the people or maybe they aren't who they say they are...
Ray
1. Talk with people via the medium .. IM... the site we're on email and give no personal info until you feel that the people are at least stable.
2. Don't meet people or find people over an hour or so driving time
3 Meet very informally... We've found that a mall with a food court is a great place to meet. If the other couple fail to show take the misses shopping...
4. Once you meet you can exchange phone numbers or addresses as you feel comfortable doing. Maybe after the informal meeting meet at a local swingers club or dinner or bowling...what ever works to make sure they are a good match....and trustworthy.
5. The fun is open and go for the gold...
As for certifying couples... what does it mean other than there are really 2 people on the other end of that computer unless it is done by your peers who have met and or played with you. Certification is about as valued as is the pictures on a web-site. They could be the people or maybe they aren't who they say they are...
Ray
We have had quite a few problems. But I can say there is a single guy who accually did show up, I invited him to our home since he was coming from Tampa and he was going to sleep over. It was the best threesome we ever had. We haven't had one since though.. he has a very hectic scedule with school and work.. and I guess we got lucky getting him here before. I trusted him because not only did he give me his phone number.. he gave me his address so I could make a map quest for him. And he got validated real also. I would put his name but I wouldn't want to make him the center of attention. Anyways.. we used condoms to be safe and it is a must for people who are first sleeping together.
We have had a bad experence though. Even though right click is disabled on this site there must still be a way to get pictures. Personally though if anyone steals any of my pics and I find out about it I will track them down and kick there ass... you better believe it. There are ways to track IP numbers. To EXACT locations. That should accually be another safty added to this site because if they are not where they say they are from.. then you know they are a liar. Another thing is if a person trys to copy someones picture the keyboard way (I will not tell) then just log there ip.. or add a strike to there account... there shoud be rules on here for banning people to keep others safe. Also since these are our accounts doesn't that mean that we own them? Isn't stealing a picture stealing our property? There should be a rating sytem or something.
Also heres a tip... unless validating or unless you know the couple is real.. never show your face and body in a picture at the same time ... this makes them harder pictures to use.
We have had a bad experence though. Even though right click is disabled on this site there must still be a way to get pictures. Personally though if anyone steals any of my pics and I find out about it I will track them down and kick there ass... you better believe it. There are ways to track IP numbers. To EXACT locations. That should accually be another safty added to this site because if they are not where they say they are from.. then you know they are a liar. Another thing is if a person trys to copy someones picture the keyboard way (I will not tell) then just log there ip.. or add a strike to there account... there shoud be rules on here for banning people to keep others safe. Also since these are our accounts doesn't that mean that we own them? Isn't stealing a picture stealing our property? There should be a rating sytem or something.
Also heres a tip... unless validating or unless you know the couple is real.. never show your face and body in a picture at the same time ... this makes them harder pictures to use.
WOW DID THIS THREAD TURN FAST .
BACK TO THE FIRST POST ABOUT HER AFRAID SOMEONE IS GOING TO BREAK INTO HER HOUSE . YES IAM SURE IT CAN HAPPEN . BUT I DOUBT VERY MUCH THAT IS FOR THEMOST PART ANYONES PLANS . BUT LIKE SOMEONE ELSE SAID U TAKE THAT CHANCE EVERY TIME U LEAVE THE HOUSE . GET AN ALARM OR A BIG DOG OR LET THE PEOPLE IN YOUR AREA KNOW U ARE LEAVING AND TO PLEASE WATCH YOUR HOUSE.
I THINK I WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE WORRIED ABOUT MEETING THEM AT A CAMP PLACE FAR AWAY AND NOT KNOWING THEM .DONT U WATCH SCARY MOVIES ??????? I WOULD NEVER MEET A STRANGER IN THE WOODS .
ALOT OF PEOPLE GET TO NERVOUS ABOUT THE FIRST MEETS . SOME LIKE THE DINNER THING . BUT MOST DONT .
WE ALWAYS TELL EVERYBODY TO JUST COME TO THE CLUB AND HANG OUT . OR IF THEY HAVE KIDS THEN WE CAN MEET AND LET THE KIDS PLAY AND JUST HANG OUT AND GET TO KNOW THEM . MOST LIKE IT LIKE THAT . NO NEED FOR A SITTER . NO NEED TO DRESS UP AND HAVE TO PUT ON A SHOW FOR ANYONE . JUST TWO FAMILIES GOING OUT AND HANGING OUT AND DOING SOMETHING FUN .
AS FOR PEOPLE GIVING U THE WRONG PHONE NUMBER . THAT WOULD SHOW U THAT SOMETHING WASNT RIGHT .
AS FOR THIS SITE OR ANY OTHER SITE AND THE SYSTEMS OR PROGRAMS THAT THEY TRY TO MAKE IT SAFER . I DON T UNDERSTAND ALL OF THAT .
FIRST OF ALL . TO GET AN ACCOUNT IS EASY .
TO TAKE PICS OR DO WEB CAM TO PROVE U ARE A REAL PERSON IS ONE THING . BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE THE SAFER THEN ANYBODY ELSE . WE LIVE IN A REALLY MESSED UP WORLD . AND JUST CAUSE WE SHARE THE OPEN LIFE STYLE TOG DOESNT MEAN WE CAN FORGET THAT ITS MADE UP OF REG PEOPLE .SO EVERYBODY SHOULD ALWAYS MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE AND PLAY IT SAFE UNTILL THEY FEEL OK WITH THE NEW PERSON .AND STILL BE ON THE LOOK OUT AND BECAREFUL .
AS FOR GIVING THEM THEY ARE REAL SWINGERS SEAL . I DONT UNDERSTAND THAT ONE EITHER , THERE IS ALOT OF PEOPLE THAT ARE NEW TO THE LIFE STYLE . SO THAT WILL LEAVE THEM OUT AND MAKE THEM LOOK BAD AND MAKE THEM FEEL PRESSURED TO PLAY WITH SOMEONE . SO THEY DONT LOOK LIKE FAKES . AND JUST CAUSE SOMEONE IS A SWINGER AND HAS PLAYED BEFORE DOESNT MEAN THEY WILL WANT TO PLAY WITH THE PERSON WRITING THEM OR WANTING TO MEET THEM .
I THINK THE SEAL FROM A FRIEND WOULD BE OK . AND A GOOD IDEA . BUT IF PEOPLE ARE ONLY GOING TO WANT TO WRITE AND TALK WITH ONLY THOSE PEOPLE . THEN ALOT OF PEOPLE WILL MISS OUT ON THE NEW MEMBERS TO THE SITE AND THE AREA AND THE LIFE STYLE .
I DONT ASK FOR ANY KINDA OF SEAL ON ANY OF THE SITES WE ARE ON . AND I DONT LOOK FOR THEM WHEN IAM WRITING TO PEOPLE . THAT IS ALL POINTLESS TO ME .
SOMEONE THAT WAS A COUPLE WHEN THEY JOINED CAN NOW BE BROKEN UP . OR IT COULD HAVE JUST BEEN A FRIEND WITH A FRIEND GETTING THE SEAL . I DONT LOOK AT THEM AS ANY SAFER THEN ANYONE ELSE . AND IF THEY HAD A SWINGERS SEAL OR NOT MEANS NOTHING TO ME . DOESNT MEAN THEYWILL WANT TO PUT OUT TO ME . OR ME TO THEM . AND I THINK IT IS GOING TO HURT ALOT OF HOOK UP S WITH NEW MEMEBERS AND NEW BIES TO THE LIFE STYLE .
WE RUN A SWINGERS SITE . WE HAVE A TON OF PICS WITH US AND WITH FRIENDS THAT WE CAN SHOW WE ARE REAL PEOPLE AND WE DO PLAY WITH OTHERS . WE HAVE WEB CAM TO SHOW WE ARE REAL . WE ARE ON A TON OF SITES WHERE THEY CAN ALSO SEE US .
IF THEY SEEM LIKE FUN PEOPLE WE WILL INVITE THEM TO THE CLUB TO COME AND HANG OUT WITH US AND EVERYBODY ELSE . JUST CAUSE I AM A SWINGER DOESNT MEAN I WANT TO PLAY WITH ANYBODY THAT WANTS TO PLAY WITH US . SO I WANT TO GET TO KNOW THE PEOPLE AND SEE IF WE CLICK . AND NO SEAL CAN TELL ME THAT . I HAVE TO GET OUT THERE AND MEET PEOPLE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS .
I AM PROUD OF THE SITES FOR TRYING TO MAKE IT SAFER AND ALL OF THAT . BUT I THINK PEOPLE USE OR DEPEND ON THESE SEALS AND ALL OF THAT WAY TO MUCH .I THINK IT MAKES PEOPLE THINK THAT THESE PEOPLE ARE OK TO MEET AND THEY FORGET TO USE THEIR OWN JUDGEMENT ON WHEN AND HOW TO MEET THESE STRANGERS .
SITE OWNERS ARE GIVING U A PLACE TO PUT UP A PROFILE AND TRY TO MEET PEOPLE WITH WANTS AND NEEDS ALIKE . HAVING SITES LIKE THIS IS VERY HELPFUL IN THE LIFE STYLE MAKING NEW FRIENDS . BUT THERE IS NO SEAL IN THE WORLD THAT CAN TELL U TO THROW CAUTION IN THE WIND AND FEEL 100% SAFE WITH ANYBODY . SOME MIGHT FIND THEM HELPFUL . BUT PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT U NEED STILL NED TO BE VERY CAREFUL .
AND ABOUT YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND ADD AND REAL NAMES AND ALL OF THAT . ANYONE CAN GET THAT AT ANY TIME . BUT BE VERY CAREFUL ON WHO U CHOOSE TO TELL IT TO . NO ONE THAT DOESNT KNOW U NEEDS TO KNOW ANY OF THAT STUFF .
THEY CAN HAVE EVERY SEAL THAT IS EVER MADE UP BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN THEY STILL ARENT CREEPY .
SO PLEASE BECAREFUL AT ALL TIMES . SEAL OR NO SEAL .
NAUGHTY DREAMS
FREAKY KITTY
BACK TO THE FIRST POST ABOUT HER AFRAID SOMEONE IS GOING TO BREAK INTO HER HOUSE . YES IAM SURE IT CAN HAPPEN . BUT I DOUBT VERY MUCH THAT IS FOR THEMOST PART ANYONES PLANS . BUT LIKE SOMEONE ELSE SAID U TAKE THAT CHANCE EVERY TIME U LEAVE THE HOUSE . GET AN ALARM OR A BIG DOG OR LET THE PEOPLE IN YOUR AREA KNOW U ARE LEAVING AND TO PLEASE WATCH YOUR HOUSE.
I THINK I WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE WORRIED ABOUT MEETING THEM AT A CAMP PLACE FAR AWAY AND NOT KNOWING THEM .DONT U WATCH SCARY MOVIES ??????? I WOULD NEVER MEET A STRANGER IN THE WOODS .
ALOT OF PEOPLE GET TO NERVOUS ABOUT THE FIRST MEETS . SOME LIKE THE DINNER THING . BUT MOST DONT .
WE ALWAYS TELL EVERYBODY TO JUST COME TO THE CLUB AND HANG OUT . OR IF THEY HAVE KIDS THEN WE CAN MEET AND LET THE KIDS PLAY AND JUST HANG OUT AND GET TO KNOW THEM . MOST LIKE IT LIKE THAT . NO NEED FOR A SITTER . NO NEED TO DRESS UP AND HAVE TO PUT ON A SHOW FOR ANYONE . JUST TWO FAMILIES GOING OUT AND HANGING OUT AND DOING SOMETHING FUN .
AS FOR PEOPLE GIVING U THE WRONG PHONE NUMBER . THAT WOULD SHOW U THAT SOMETHING WASNT RIGHT .
AS FOR THIS SITE OR ANY OTHER SITE AND THE SYSTEMS OR PROGRAMS THAT THEY TRY TO MAKE IT SAFER . I DON T UNDERSTAND ALL OF THAT .
FIRST OF ALL . TO GET AN ACCOUNT IS EASY .
TO TAKE PICS OR DO WEB CAM TO PROVE U ARE A REAL PERSON IS ONE THING . BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE THE SAFER THEN ANYBODY ELSE . WE LIVE IN A REALLY MESSED UP WORLD . AND JUST CAUSE WE SHARE THE OPEN LIFE STYLE TOG DOESNT MEAN WE CAN FORGET THAT ITS MADE UP OF REG PEOPLE .SO EVERYBODY SHOULD ALWAYS MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE AND PLAY IT SAFE UNTILL THEY FEEL OK WITH THE NEW PERSON .AND STILL BE ON THE LOOK OUT AND BECAREFUL .
AS FOR GIVING THEM THEY ARE REAL SWINGERS SEAL . I DONT UNDERSTAND THAT ONE EITHER , THERE IS ALOT OF PEOPLE THAT ARE NEW TO THE LIFE STYLE . SO THAT WILL LEAVE THEM OUT AND MAKE THEM LOOK BAD AND MAKE THEM FEEL PRESSURED TO PLAY WITH SOMEONE . SO THEY DONT LOOK LIKE FAKES . AND JUST CAUSE SOMEONE IS A SWINGER AND HAS PLAYED BEFORE DOESNT MEAN THEY WILL WANT TO PLAY WITH THE PERSON WRITING THEM OR WANTING TO MEET THEM .
I THINK THE SEAL FROM A FRIEND WOULD BE OK . AND A GOOD IDEA . BUT IF PEOPLE ARE ONLY GOING TO WANT TO WRITE AND TALK WITH ONLY THOSE PEOPLE . THEN ALOT OF PEOPLE WILL MISS OUT ON THE NEW MEMBERS TO THE SITE AND THE AREA AND THE LIFE STYLE .
I DONT ASK FOR ANY KINDA OF SEAL ON ANY OF THE SITES WE ARE ON . AND I DONT LOOK FOR THEM WHEN IAM WRITING TO PEOPLE . THAT IS ALL POINTLESS TO ME .
SOMEONE THAT WAS A COUPLE WHEN THEY JOINED CAN NOW BE BROKEN UP . OR IT COULD HAVE JUST BEEN A FRIEND WITH A FRIEND GETTING THE SEAL . I DONT LOOK AT THEM AS ANY SAFER THEN ANYONE ELSE . AND IF THEY HAD A SWINGERS SEAL OR NOT MEANS NOTHING TO ME . DOESNT MEAN THEYWILL WANT TO PUT OUT TO ME . OR ME TO THEM . AND I THINK IT IS GOING TO HURT ALOT OF HOOK UP S WITH NEW MEMEBERS AND NEW BIES TO THE LIFE STYLE .
WE RUN A SWINGERS SITE . WE HAVE A TON OF PICS WITH US AND WITH FRIENDS THAT WE CAN SHOW WE ARE REAL PEOPLE AND WE DO PLAY WITH OTHERS . WE HAVE WEB CAM TO SHOW WE ARE REAL . WE ARE ON A TON OF SITES WHERE THEY CAN ALSO SEE US .
IF THEY SEEM LIKE FUN PEOPLE WE WILL INVITE THEM TO THE CLUB TO COME AND HANG OUT WITH US AND EVERYBODY ELSE . JUST CAUSE I AM A SWINGER DOESNT MEAN I WANT TO PLAY WITH ANYBODY THAT WANTS TO PLAY WITH US . SO I WANT TO GET TO KNOW THE PEOPLE AND SEE IF WE CLICK . AND NO SEAL CAN TELL ME THAT . I HAVE TO GET OUT THERE AND MEET PEOPLE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS .
I AM PROUD OF THE SITES FOR TRYING TO MAKE IT SAFER AND ALL OF THAT . BUT I THINK PEOPLE USE OR DEPEND ON THESE SEALS AND ALL OF THAT WAY TO MUCH .I THINK IT MAKES PEOPLE THINK THAT THESE PEOPLE ARE OK TO MEET AND THEY FORGET TO USE THEIR OWN JUDGEMENT ON WHEN AND HOW TO MEET THESE STRANGERS .
SITE OWNERS ARE GIVING U A PLACE TO PUT UP A PROFILE AND TRY TO MEET PEOPLE WITH WANTS AND NEEDS ALIKE . HAVING SITES LIKE THIS IS VERY HELPFUL IN THE LIFE STYLE MAKING NEW FRIENDS . BUT THERE IS NO SEAL IN THE WORLD THAT CAN TELL U TO THROW CAUTION IN THE WIND AND FEEL 100% SAFE WITH ANYBODY . SOME MIGHT FIND THEM HELPFUL . BUT PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT U NEED STILL NED TO BE VERY CAREFUL .
AND ABOUT YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND ADD AND REAL NAMES AND ALL OF THAT . ANYONE CAN GET THAT AT ANY TIME . BUT BE VERY CAREFUL ON WHO U CHOOSE TO TELL IT TO . NO ONE THAT DOESNT KNOW U NEEDS TO KNOW ANY OF THAT STUFF .
THEY CAN HAVE EVERY SEAL THAT IS EVER MADE UP BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN THEY STILL ARENT CREEPY .
SO PLEASE BECAREFUL AT ALL TIMES . SEAL OR NO SEAL .
NAUGHTY DREAMS
FREAKY KITTY
yes i have had the same problem and being a single male on swingular in jax, fl doesnt help even thought there are allot on the site from my area seems most do allot of talking baout doing it than actually doing it.. isn't it all about the fun and sex. i have been in the lifestyle for about 15 years and have allot of fun all over the world and places i have lived or been stationed in the military seems most i find chat soe then want to meet then you never hear from them again
we play with single males mostly and have had the same problem with makeing plans and them not showing up ... but we are waiting for the real swinging single male to show up and he will someday lol and he will have a blast we think lol .. we dont let it bother us .... cause no matter what site your on you will run into them single guy couples and single females as well ..
We learned by our first experience when we were also stood up. After then we had one simple rule: At least one Girl to Girl phone call to prove everything was on the up and up. Usually soon as they hear you want the call them the loosers/poser run saying they are not ready to give out their phone numbers. I find that funny that they would have sex with you but are afraid to make a phone call. One last know, even after the phone call we have still been stood up. We just want to have fun. Yes we are real and validated. ~Sharon and Steve