I (the male half) am very shy also, when face to face. Online, I am the biggest flirt ever. My biggest thing is that I do not want to be "One of those lifestyle guys," you know, wandering from lady to lady trying to score, cop a feel, etc. I am a gentleman.
My experience is that the more often you do something, like strike up a conversation with someone, the easier it is. You have nothing to be shy about, at least you're not an ugly ogre like me.
Anyway, just keep plugging away, and it gets easier each and every time....
My experience is that the more often you do something, like strike up a conversation with someone, the easier it is. You have nothing to be shy about, at least you're not an ugly ogre like me.
Anyway, just keep plugging away, and it gets easier each and every time....
Maybe you could see a doctor and get a script for Paxil?
D.I.C..... We just thought we'd write a quick reply... we both have got similar symptoms in anticipation of meeting new ppls on occasion.. i told sara its like when in highschool..... anticipation of the hot date on fri or sat and the anticipation of not knowing where it will lead.... some times the anticipation is started a week or so in advance when plans are made... probably not much help in aliviating the symptoms... but maby a little help in knowing where they originate from... dennis and sara
maybe you you start with chatting. have people come over to your place. you be blind folded, and let them take advantage of you. then you can go for coffee, and talk.
I know what you mean I have been to Eadn House 3 times and after about 10 mins I leave. If I had a place to take someone maybe I could try the blind fold thing, but one Iam afraid no one will show and two Im sure no one will show and last so shy and scared dont know who to ask. Been to dances at Habits had fun but could not get the nerve to ask someone out. When I go to good spirits i play darts and shoot pool but get too nervious to really hit on a girl will flirt but when push cums to shove I get scared off and leave.
MAybe it would be a good idea to sit down and try to discover why it is that you feel the way you do. Am I afraid that they will not like me. Might it be that they might be a geek or a cereal killer (Greaaat said Tony). Are they smarter than me am I so smart that we will have nothing in common. Will they think I am a geek or a serial killer.
Worry about anything meeting new people will only make you act differently than you naturally are. Simply don't think about it. You've already committed to meeting so what's the biggy. They've committed to meet you and maybe they have their own issues... So give yourself a break and enjoy the experience... It's like sex with someone that you have never had sex with before.... Are you confident? Do you know that you can make their day? Meeting for the first time is like saying hi to the mailman or a clerk in a department store only you see it as more... My wife says I can talk to anyone and that I've never met a stranger.... Maybe that's because they are just people and I am a people and we have, at least that to start with. I'm never intimidated, why should anyone be... they have a head, two arms and two legs and some semblance of sex organs like we all have ... so enjoy... Don't think about it or syke yourself into shyness... It's only life and we only get one time to go round.....grab the gusto...or whatever.
Ray
PS: Demon, If I looked like you... I'd be out in the parking lot, nude, signing autographs... only one chance to live and it's really quite short... No time to worry about little things...
Worry about anything meeting new people will only make you act differently than you naturally are. Simply don't think about it. You've already committed to meeting so what's the biggy. They've committed to meet you and maybe they have their own issues... So give yourself a break and enjoy the experience... It's like sex with someone that you have never had sex with before.... Are you confident? Do you know that you can make their day? Meeting for the first time is like saying hi to the mailman or a clerk in a department store only you see it as more... My wife says I can talk to anyone and that I've never met a stranger.... Maybe that's because they are just people and I am a people and we have, at least that to start with. I'm never intimidated, why should anyone be... they have a head, two arms and two legs and some semblance of sex organs like we all have ... so enjoy... Don't think about it or syke yourself into shyness... It's only life and we only get one time to go round.....grab the gusto...or whatever.
Ray
PS: Demon, If I looked like you... I'd be out in the parking lot, nude, signing autographs... only one chance to live and it's really quite short... No time to worry about little things...
It just takes time. 
We both tend to be shy in new social situations, and in meeting people for the first time, albeit in a club, dinner, party (both vanilla and swinger groups), but once friendship, trust and a comfort level have been established, we're pretty open and comfortable.
We were very overwhelmed when we first started swinging, but eventually discovered that making one friendship at a time, and evolving a social circle of comfort was very effective at overcoming our initial shyness. You'll find that once you make just a few friendships, you'll be introduced to friends of your new friends...those that they feel comfortable with, and then it just keeps progressing.
Just be patient, and never pass up an opportunity to socialize...especially with those that you get a good initial vibe with.
Good luck!
J&L
We both tend to be shy in new social situations, and in meeting people for the first time, albeit in a club, dinner, party (both vanilla and swinger groups), but once friendship, trust and a comfort level have been established, we're pretty open and comfortable.
We were very overwhelmed when we first started swinging, but eventually discovered that making one friendship at a time, and evolving a social circle of comfort was very effective at overcoming our initial shyness. You'll find that once you make just a few friendships, you'll be introduced to friends of your new friends...those that they feel comfortable with, and then it just keeps progressing.
Just be patient, and never pass up an opportunity to socialize...especially with those that you get a good initial vibe with.
Good luck!
J&L
Were with TG and Siren!
Sometimes you just gotta say "Fuck It", just not in the chat room lol
Hey darlin. I don't think I'd mind you being shy, or cracking silly jokes!! As for your anxiety, here's a little something the tibetins taught me that I think helps: Worry not about what you cannot change, because you cannot change it! Worry not about what you can change, because you can.
In essence, be yourself!! If whomever you're meeting cant take you as you come, then they probably don't deserve your company....
Mrs
In essence, be yourself!! If whomever you're meeting cant take you as you come, then they probably don't deserve your company....
Mrs
I have the same initial problem in that I'm shy. I flirt like a maniac in chatrooms, and anyone I've met will probably tell you I'm outgoing, and not at all shy behind closed doors.
However, the Real me is shy until I get to know someone. That, I find, is key. I tend to chat with someone to a point I feel we have enough in common to hold more than a couple of sentences together over a coffee (or here in Utah, occasionally a soda). The nerves of the initial meeting remain mixed with excitement but are lessened by the fact the owrst thing that can happen is we have coffee chat a while and go our separate ways.
But the possibility of 'something more' is the counterbalance to those intial feelings of aprehension!
GamerUK
However, the Real me is shy until I get to know someone. That, I find, is key. I tend to chat with someone to a point I feel we have enough in common to hold more than a couple of sentences together over a coffee (or here in Utah, occasionally a soda). The nerves of the initial meeting remain mixed with excitement but are lessened by the fact the owrst thing that can happen is we have coffee chat a while and go our separate ways.
But the possibility of 'something more' is the counterbalance to those intial feelings of aprehension!
GamerUK
nothing wrong with being a dork! I'm one... LOL
mr
mr
Like many others, I am very shy and get very anxious and nervous in public (even though my work requires me to speak in public). Here's a suggestion of a book on the topic. This is a good book on the topic.
"Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety: A Comprehensive Guide to Gaining Social Confidence" by Erika B. Hilliard
"Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety: A Comprehensive Guide to Gaining Social Confidence" by Erika B. Hilliard