Ok so my Wife and i decided we want to try out the swinger life.. nothing to crazy maybe some voyuer or girl on girl. She dosnt want to do it with anyone she or i know. She wants to find someone online or in the personals. I understand she is afraid of loseing a friend if they dont understand or are tottaly turned off by it
Do you think it's a good idea to go for a some what stranger over a good friend??
Thanks
Do you think it's a good idea to go for a some what stranger over a good friend??
Thanks
if its a friend your in atmosphere we kinda that way. we started very slow too but you find what your limits are or not...
It has been my experience that friends seem to never be on the same page as I am. That is, even if they're open to swinging they might only want to watch when I wanna do more. It's much easier and safer to find people who might be looking for the same thing online. The best part is that, if things go well, you have more friends!!!
Enjoy!
-Te
Enjoy!
-Te
swinging with people in your personal life is like hitting your funny bone... There's nothing funny about it!! Just sucks we tried it!!!
Agree that friends definitely do not work. We find the clubs & parties a great way to meet people without the pressure of meeting a specific couple and then trying to decide if they fit us both - and we fit them. Clubs & parties let you mingle with many couples & decide who & what you like. Also no pressure in a party situation if one is "on" and the other less interested for the nite since there is always more than enough action to go around, unlike a small group of 4 or 6 where you have to be up for the occasion regardless. Plus, if you both decide you're not up for the nite or no one is interesting, you can leave without disappointing anyone.
This is an interesting topic. We have met with many people over our short two years as we have tried to find our way and help others in the lifestyle. We have found that at least 80% plus tell us they are mainly looking for friends that can develop into some longterm fun, trusting respectful play situations. Mainly cause they don't know what they are looking for early on. We have heard things like, when you really don't know people that well you risk more in this lifestyle as they will just be there for the hot sexual moment and will not be open and communicate about STD's (orally or with or without intercourse and using condoms) and other issues that could cause a drama filled situation in play if boundries and or things have not been mutually agreed upon. Not to mention that the feeling of being safe and secure (more for the women) is not present until you get to know someone and feel comfortable and so a developed friendship results in better quality (and quantity) of play! True of False - Dunno?
We have also seen it to where some say they want to be friends, regardless of current and or future play (until they can see how things all work out) and then when you don't want to play with them (and or you want to play with them and they don't with you), all of a sudden they are just mere accquaintences and may provide some drama type situations, cause they now have had their feelings hurt and or feel rejected (or visa versa) and so a friendhsip is not really formulated in a manner to which we label "Friends" - "someone you can trust."
With a stranger (or in couples - strangers) it can be hot and fun for sure if you have the right mix. However, it has not been addressed on this post, that this can also be more difficult cause both members of the couple needs to be into and connect with the other play partners otherwise you create the "Taking one for the Team" situation. For us that doesn't seem to be the reason we are in the lifestyle, if both can't enjoy and have pleasure and or connect it doesn't really bring us close together but creates a wedge cause one may desire to be selfish.
So for us the jury is still out and we would love to hear more about this issue from people on both sides, and from both sexes as we find guys and girls really see this differently. "Guys seem to be good to go, while girls need to take it slow". Additional comments and responses here would benefit us and the newer members of this site (and lifestyle) that are finding their way as they read these posts.
We have also seen it to where some say they want to be friends, regardless of current and or future play (until they can see how things all work out) and then when you don't want to play with them (and or you want to play with them and they don't with you), all of a sudden they are just mere accquaintences and may provide some drama type situations, cause they now have had their feelings hurt and or feel rejected (or visa versa) and so a friendhsip is not really formulated in a manner to which we label "Friends" - "someone you can trust."
With a stranger (or in couples - strangers) it can be hot and fun for sure if you have the right mix. However, it has not been addressed on this post, that this can also be more difficult cause both members of the couple needs to be into and connect with the other play partners otherwise you create the "Taking one for the Team" situation. For us that doesn't seem to be the reason we are in the lifestyle, if both can't enjoy and have pleasure and or connect it doesn't really bring us close together but creates a wedge cause one may desire to be selfish.
So for us the jury is still out and we would love to hear more about this issue from people on both sides, and from both sexes as we find guys and girls really see this differently. "Guys seem to be good to go, while girls need to take it slow". Additional comments and responses here would benefit us and the newer members of this site (and lifestyle) that are finding their way as they read these posts.
Well for us we have had luck meeting people thru this sit or another. We have became close friends with a few. As far as meeting a stranger and going at it, well we lived in Las Vegas together for 5 years and never really had much luck in or out of the lifestyle meeting people. We arent sure if it was because we are looking for "friends with benifits" not just a quick screw or what. Any way I guess for us we have met strangers on sites and became friends, but have never been able to meet some one in a crowd and go for it.
J and A
J and A
Our thougths are that you have two types of friends. Those that you know before you get into swinig and those you know after, and never should teh two be mixed! We will play with those that we meet in the lifestyle but not with those before. To many problems come up to add sex to a realtionship of people you know for a long time. Now if you are meeting people that you hope to swing when then go for it.