okay, this other forum I belong to (not a swinging one) is calling out a single mom for swinging with a couple and her boyfriend. Because she said her kid is going to the sitter whiel she goes on her double date, and then he's coming home, where she will put him to bed before she swaps with the couple (she's getting the guy and he';s getting the girl) her boyfriend and the girl are going to the other couples house while she and the guy are stayign at ehr apartment.
She said she plans on introducing the couple and their kids to her son at some point.
Which leads me to wonder how others go about this? Is she in the wrong ( I don't think she is) or is she doing a good job?
If you have kids how do you balance lifestyle and kids?
here's my thing, if I hook up with a couple, I'm hoping for friendship too. So if they meet my kids its not a super big deal, as long as we're all discreet.
She said she plans on introducing the couple and their kids to her son at some point.
Which leads me to wonder how others go about this? Is she in the wrong ( I don't think she is) or is she doing a good job?
If you have kids how do you balance lifestyle and kids?
here's my thing, if I hook up with a couple, I'm hoping for friendship too. So if they meet my kids its not a super big deal, as long as we're all discreet.
For us, we look for people we actually like rather then just a physical attraction. Once a friendship blossoms we do get to know each others family including kids depending on how close we get as friends. We do not feel comfortable if a couple puts the kids to bed then wants us to play at their place while the kids sleep. Just seems like you are setting up to be caught by doing that.
I have heard some horror stories from others when they let it to get anything beyond just sex buddies. We hope that our good judgement keeps prevailing and we can enjoy both friends and the benefits. I would say as long as they use good judgement then it is fine.
I have heard some horror stories from others when they let it to get anything beyond just sex buddies. We hope that our good judgement keeps prevailing and we can enjoy both friends and the benefits. I would say as long as they use good judgement then it is fine.
Swinging and kids for us? Well, we never play with our kids in the house - period. What other people do is up to them, this is just our choice.
Friendships? Another matter completely, so long as it never violates the rule above.
Friendships? Another matter completely, so long as it never violates the rule above.
Our kids know and could care less. We're not originally from an area of the country who's majority thinks sex is evil. We don't play with our kids around, but we don't pretend that we're going to a movie when we go to a party. Sheltering your kids from reality is a form of abuse. Do they need to know details? <b>NO!</b> Should they be lied to when they have questions? <b> NO!</b> It's your job as a parent to educate them and teach them that not everyone is into "traditional christian" monogamous relationships. I know this fuckin state's majority could definelty use some serious fuckin' education regarding the matter.
-D-
-D-
Oh, I see Don's point. There's an age where kids will start to ask questions and yes, as a parent you have the duty, responsibility and role to educate them and treat them like the adults they are becoming.
Does this happen when they're 8? Hell no. When they're 18? Chances are they know already or have a damn good idea. You decide what to tell them as a parent. But honesty is a good path.
That being said? Let's toss out another scenario about not playing when there are kids in the house. Divorce.
We never plan it, but it happens. Once it does happen? Lifestyle or not, kids become a major pivot point around which the battle revolves. If you have two people in the lifestyle get together with respective children and their former partners are *not* lifestyle? Let's just say your life is going to be much simpler if you reduce the risk of the children EVER becoming exposed. Especially if there is still a divorce in the works.
Just a scenario folks. But I've seen many people in this scene getting dragged through some mighty uncomfortable places because of it.
Thus, the choice.
Does this happen when they're 8? Hell no. When they're 18? Chances are they know already or have a damn good idea. You decide what to tell them as a parent. But honesty is a good path.
That being said? Let's toss out another scenario about not playing when there are kids in the house. Divorce.
We never plan it, but it happens. Once it does happen? Lifestyle or not, kids become a major pivot point around which the battle revolves. If you have two people in the lifestyle get together with respective children and their former partners are *not* lifestyle? Let's just say your life is going to be much simpler if you reduce the risk of the children EVER becoming exposed. Especially if there is still a divorce in the works.
Just a scenario folks. But I've seen many people in this scene getting dragged through some mighty uncomfortable places because of it.
Thus, the choice.
while I agree with all of you on a point or two... We have found the hard way that this state and sex are not the best of pals! Just being straght with your kids will get you and them in the dog house! Our 10 year old found our toys went and told someone at school, we had the police and CPS at the door! I'm not saying lie just when you go to play your doing just that playing! Your kids do it why can't you??? Thay dont need to know anymore then that!
as for playing in a house with sleeping kids??? Mmmm not me! For me that's one of the percks, not haveing my kids around! My kids are small thow well not quite teens yet! There is how ever the fact spending time with your kids is the only way your going to teach them anything, if you dont someone from the boy scouts will (awwwwwww) is that what you want?
Chris
as for playing in a house with sleeping kids??? Mmmm not me! For me that's one of the percks, not haveing my kids around! My kids are small thow well not quite teens yet! There is how ever the fact spending time with your kids is the only way your going to teach them anything, if you dont someone from the boy scouts will (awwwwwww) is that what you want?
Chris
when we "play" our kids will be at a sitters or grandma"s overnight. I don't feel the need to be totally open with my kids........they are way too young for that. But, in J's case, the couple she is meeting has kids, and they are friends....she would like the kids to be friends too. I'm hoping to find a coupel I like well enough that not only will there occasionally be a fun night out, and possibly sex, but that we will be friends too.
We have ton's of our Swingular friend's that know we have young kid's and alot of them have meet them, considering we are good friend's with them, and hang out together and our children play with there children, so I think it's just up to how people run there life and what they prefer. We even have swinger friend's that come to our children's birthday party's. so there's people that have meet our children and some that have not.Eaither way I think it's just up to how and what you wanna do.We don't think it's a big deal 
Although we keep it descreat. kisses Amanda xo
Although we keep it descreat. kisses Amanda xoWe don't see an issue with introducing families to each other if you're more than just playmates with people. Many of our lifestyle friends know our kids, we know their kids and our kids know their kids (if they have any). We do play with our kids in the house sometimes, but we know how to lock our bedroom door and its not till after they're sleeping. Our kids also knock first before entering. There is no place for them to spend the night other than the rare sleepover at a friend's house, but we can't really arrange that for all the kids at the same time. One of the disadvantages to all our family living over a thousand miles away.
But then again most of the time we don't bring anyone to our house and those we do have over are friends who A) know how to act with discretion and B) know our kids so its not weird if they stay late or around in the morning. If people can't act with discretion in front of our kids they will not only not be welcome at our house anymore, but most likely we won't be seeing them anymore either.
Most of our playing is done at house parties or the homes of others and our kids know we are going to a party or going to hang out with friends, but the swinger aspect is not something that needs to be shared with any of our kids at this point seeing as only two of them are old enough to know and understand all about where babies come from.
Honestly how it all works and what works varies from family to family, because everyone's family is different. My .02
-SG
But then again most of the time we don't bring anyone to our house and those we do have over are friends who A) know how to act with discretion and B) know our kids so its not weird if they stay late or around in the morning. If people can't act with discretion in front of our kids they will not only not be welcome at our house anymore, but most likely we won't be seeing them anymore either.
Most of our playing is done at house parties or the homes of others and our kids know we are going to a party or going to hang out with friends, but the swinger aspect is not something that needs to be shared with any of our kids at this point seeing as only two of them are old enough to know and understand all about where babies come from.
Honestly how it all works and what works varies from family to family, because everyone's family is different. My .02
-SG
FWIW......I'm really not sure anymore how I feel about it. I know I don't want my kids to know. I know my kids won't be home if I "entertain" or if I am out they will be safe with a sitter, or grandmas or whatever.
It's simply a very personal decision that each couple/parent has to make themselves. Weigh the options carefully, put emotion/want/desire out of the picture and make it rationally with your the best interest of your children at heart.
That's it! If you believe it won't be an issue, then no worries.
If you have a nagging doubt? Then don't do it - make other arrangements.
-K_T
That's it! If you believe it won't be an issue, then no worries.
If you have a nagging doubt? Then don't do it - make other arrangements.
-K_T
We have five kids four of them are old enough and they understand, one is too young 9 and we do not chose to play when kids are home. Not that we never tryed it,we could not relax always worring about getting caught so now we chose to not. But the four teenage boys know and dont care they say as long as we are happy we make it a point to be open with them and i feel that is why our realationships are so good with them. I would not even want my children to catch myself and my husband let alone other people too.
All of our kids are gone,, just lucky I guess as empty nesters. But have had a couple that wanted to us play with them in the next room and couldn't and wouldn't do it. I wouldn't want to be caught by my kids let alone someone elses. Even when I (the Female part of ripin) was single, I only did my own thing when I knew I was the only one home or in a serious relationship that my kids would accept, after alot of time spent together. figuring things out.
I think it is a given assumption that adults have sex, but I do not believe that the details nor my preferences need to be known to all. I'm not ashamed of my preferences, I just don't believe that neighbors/kids/family members/others I would not have sex with, need to know (or even want to know) what those preferences are.
For example, do parents (lifestyle or not) struggle to decide how to tell their 12 year old that mom likes to swallow cum and dad licks moms ass? There's nothing wrong with Dad licking moms ass but do your neighbors, priest, boss, kids teacher and children need to know that information as though its some deeper understanding of the person??
For example, do parents (lifestyle or not) struggle to decide how to tell their 12 year old that mom likes to swallow cum and dad licks moms ass? There's nothing wrong with Dad licking moms ass but do your neighbors, priest, boss, kids teacher and children need to know that information as though its some deeper understanding of the person??