Swingers Forum - Single males who are flakes

we are finding that they are very flaky as well, very interesting. Why even bother to be on this site, if you arent willing to meet a couple?

The few single guys we have met we learned alot from.. mostly to avoid the trophy boys.. nothing but bad experiences with them. Much more fun to play with a guy who is a 7 on the 10 scale who is really into you than someone who is a 9 or 10 and only into themselves.

It wasn't me. . . and no my name isn't SHAGGY =)

I'm a member here and LL and I've NEVER FLAKED on anyone ! ! !

Give me a hollaaaaaa

We're new to this scene, so don't laugh....But what is this LL everyone keeps mentioning? Feel me in, please

~S

If you are after boy toys and hard bodies, then you get to keep being frustrated. I have talked to many couples who have had the same experience, the male is just gone in a second. I don't know if it is because those types of men have a large ego that is satisfied by getting to the point of being offered the opportunity to be with a couple, or if they realize they have alot of potential to own up to, but results are usually the same. My theory: Being 6'2, 210 lbs of pure muscle, with a 10" cock DOES NOT MAKE YOU GOOD AT PLEASING A WOMAN. Maybe in the woman's mind, it would be even easier for a male of the stature I outlined due to societal beliefs about how men should look, but those men still have sexual insecurities. I always say, the hottest women always are the most insecure. Same for men. The question I pose is are you after a fun and sexy experience? Or are you after a body type? Quit looking at body type and how that exeplifies confidence and ability, and start actually talking to the single men to gauge that aspect. I am sure a self-confident man who knows who he is and what he wants won't bail on you. An insecure male who puts on a good show until it comes time to put his money where his mouth is craps himself and runs like hell. Why? Because his idea of his body betrays him. People who spend so much time primping and ensuring they look fabulous have given their power away. They are simply a image, not a person. Not saying people shouldn't take care of themselves, but there is a point where it becomes ridiculously over done. That is why I truely believe that sexy is an attitude, not a body type or social image. I am much more attracted to women who are confident in themselves and what their bodies are (ie have let go of the self depreciation and judgement over their bodies) than some super model. My two cents, so take it for what it is worth. If you plan on keeping after the same type of guy, I agree you are better off going after couples instead. Save yourself the insanity of recreating this situation over and over... That is the definition of insanity after all!

Let's face it. Flakes, circumstance, misunderstandings and life in general all lead to frustrations in this lifestyle. A little well-cultured realism and tempering of expectations is a good thing! Just avoid the bastards and hail the good ones. And by all means, have fun while you're at it.

-K_T

i agree with jstjim...references are the best way to insure the single male is real and really worth asking to your bed..i my self have never not gone all the way, even if i wasen't particually attracted to the couple, one or the outher,,,if they ask you in to there life feel privledged and respect them ,you after all are there for them not your self and if you "flaky" males cant see or remember that then your in the life style for the wrong reasons and you should reevalueate your reasons for being here...just my opion but i've found that it holds true for most of the couples i been with...plus i get asked back again to enjoy yet anouther adventre, and some times the couple might even bring a couple of there own that they play with, there fore expanding the fun....just a thought...........................now holds his breath for the flogging of the spell checkers and the post bashers to insue there rath on my posts..

Most of the single guys we agree to meet with "NO SHOW" us. Never have met any single guys on this site but other sites we have had many contact us and as soon as we say first meetings are "strictly social" they seem to disappear even though they say "yes we we see you tonight".

We would have to say of out the 50 or so single males who have agreed to meet us a handful have actually showed up for a face social meeting. We actually had one meet us last night he beat the odds but we had met him at a house party before so guess he does not count as a "first time meet".

We have opened our profile to single males and have had it open for about a year now have had hundreds contact us mainly on other swing sites we belong to and its pretty sad when only a few actually follow through so to you single males out there listen up "couples talk with one another's" no show one and the word gets out fast so unless you really do intend to meet don't say you will be there.

Why don't we open our profile to single males on here? Its hard enough to answer messages from "no show" singles on one site why add to the misery? We use this site mainly for the forum seems all the couples that feel we are compatible with them seem to live way too far away. On the average we would have to say there are more fakes and flakes when it comes to the single male crowd.

Norm&Sharon

Wow...this is the topic from hell! LOL...I do wish I had enough money to put fuel in my private jet...I'd be all over the place! On a more serious note, being stood up is very frustrating...in defense of us singles, we sit alone in the bar or resturant waiting or stay home alone with the dreaded phone call/email cancelation...at least couples have each other...either way, in my opinion, if make a date keep it. Like mentioned before, you can always have a few cocktails and say NO if that's where it goes. If you're a flake??? pour milk on yourself, get soggy, log off and stay away.

Ok, I had to say something.

Having been in the life for a couple years now, I'm just now venturing into the dreaded and unknown territory of 'single male'.

Having been on both sides of the coin, I think I may understand a little.

I have been fortunate enough to have a few couple friends that invited me out. It was really hard the first time, and I'll be honest, it was good that it was in a night club setting. A few shots of courage helped before the personally awkward moment. I did meet them, and hope to at least remain friends with them from that encounter.

I think that someone here wrote about expectations. It seems like having too many expectations of a persons looks, or the outcome of a meeting create many failures. As a couple we noticed this when dealing with singles or couples. As a single it's alot easier when they other person (or couple) are very clear about what it is that everyone is expecting. It clears the way for everyone to relax, and eliminates the possibility of misunderstandings.

Hopefully not all encounters with singles of either sex go that way. I'm certain because of my experiences that sometimes it does work out.

I'm starting to ramble, so I'll leave you all with this. In my opinion everything is simpler when all parties can communicate their intentions, relax a little and be themselves. From there the rest of it gets alot easier, or 'harder' it seems (pun intended).

I wish you all the best of luck.

WELUVGIRLS - Jason

Poor single guys...what a tough life. One guy flakes out and the rest take the heat for it. Let a couple flake out on a couple and it is just overlooked, after all couples are not 'single' males even if they flake like them. Oh and then there is that unicorn...the single female. They never flake out on a meeting. How can they, cause ultimately does a unicorn really exhist and aren't we the ones to blame in believing in a myth?

Yeah, I am just a wee bit sarcastic today. I know that we have had single males and couples flake on us from one time to another. I will also admit that we have met several single males and couples that are awesome. I try not to judge someone by another's actions it just makes life easier on me and you never know what treasure you may be passing up.

M

Sounds like that is someone who chickened out. Perhaps it was their first meeting ever. He should have started with a meet n greet. Life does come up and I have had couples flake on me too. I have also had couples use 15 year old pictures when they were in much better shape.

Like others have said, it was definitely his loss!

Happy V-Day!

well what ever wine is grate! We went up to park city to the wine store Monday, holy shit did we buy alot of wine! That store is huge we've never seen so much wine in Utah in one place! But were good and stocked up for friday! Hope life is swinging our way friday and we finaly meet you two!
Chris

Hey Hotcpl34!

Anyone that would flake out on you would need to have their head examined. You are such a sexy lady and a real cool couple. I draw that conclusion from your profile. I am very aware of how strongly single males are scrutinized in this lifestyle. That is why I never set a date that i will not keep. If I make a date I keep it.

But there are a few flakes that ruin it for the good single males out here.

I suspect it may be more common here in Utah. I know if something does come up and I can't make it, I'll do everything I can to let whom ever I'm meeting that I wont be able to make it or will be late. Now, on the other hand I cannot count the times I have been set up to meet (working with their schedual) and been stood up and left waiting somewhere and more often than not, never contacted as to what happened. So I can have empathy for those of you out there that have had the same kind of things happen to you. My general rule is: you shine me once, I'll let it go (preferably with a good reason helps). Shine me twice and sorry you blew it.

It just doesn't seem too hard to send an email, make a call, send a postcard or what ever means to let the other person know what's going on in regards to a meeting. It screams of selfishness and inconcideration for others time and efforts, and therefore not the types I'd really want to be hanging with.


just my $.02 worth on the subject

Not all single males are flakes. Really frustrating that some are, they mess it up for those of us looking to have fun and havent found a woman to connect with that wants the lifestyle. Some of us actually prefer playing with couples and will jump at the chance to actually be invited, stopping only at death to miss a date. Sorry the experience was bad.