Yes, swingers are "open". Yes, we have experienced our first BAD time. Doesn't our profile say NO DRAMA !!!!!!!!!! I can't believe couples that talk sooo much about how open and fun they are but one partner gets soooo jealous and leaves in the middle of our play time???? Please don't let this happen again. Don't pretend you guys are something you are not!!!! Be open and honest with each other!!!! If we wanted drama we would try to play with vanillas!!!! The reason we are swingers is we are open and comfortble with one another .....If your NOT don't be swingers and lead people on........Or atleast try to play with us.Thanks! We DO appreciate the FUN, DRAMA FREE couples we have played with!
No drama here, drop us a line
~T&D~
~T&D~
AMEN to that....alex
what happened they just got up and left?...no drama here either, i cant wait for my gf to ge tback beg of february to prove all errors flakers how its all done
mi hermano, if at al interested let meknow im straight but would enjoy some fun with your lady
alex
801-357 9559
alex
801-357 9559
I don't kiss and tell but I am so angry.....this was the second time we played. I should have known but they said they were quiet and we just assumed they needed to get to know us and open up. They sure talked a lot pre 2nd playtime how fun it was gonna be etc. The guy asked the girl to leave in the middle of it without any explanation!!! Our intention of this post is only to avoid this in the future. We are really a fun couple and are very disappointed. We look forward to more mature, secure couples to get to know. Obvousily they weren't ready or on the same page. We really want all the couples that we play with to be 110% comfortable and both parties are into the situation and want to play.
that sucks, well i wish you the bes next year...or before...lol another year another fuck!!!
sorry for your bad experience crunk hope you have better luck, I wonder how many people really believe that it is ok to treat people like this?
Queen, unfortunately your experience isn't so unique.
There are a fair number of people who are curious about the lifestyle and in their haste for some experience, neglect to mention whatever hangups they might have. People fear that if they don't throw in the obligatory "we're fun, open minded, and drama free" statement in their profile they'll appeal to a more narrow range of couples and it will take longer to have a first experience.
These people aren't always prepared for what's going to happen and I guess they just *hope* everything will work out okay - a very vulnerable state of mind.
This is why there are a few questions I try to harp on numerous times before meeting a couple regardless of what their profile states: Are you D&D free, herps free, what are your boundaries, is kissing okay, etc, because most peoples' knee jerk response is going to be the answer that they know is "correct" but not necessarily true. The key is to ask multiple times, because some people aren't likely to be honest until they understand that you're working in their best interest. Still, there are some people who will deliberately lie no matter what; there's not much that can be done for them. :!
Hopefully your first bad experience will be your last. Good luck!
There are a fair number of people who are curious about the lifestyle and in their haste for some experience, neglect to mention whatever hangups they might have. People fear that if they don't throw in the obligatory "we're fun, open minded, and drama free" statement in their profile they'll appeal to a more narrow range of couples and it will take longer to have a first experience.
These people aren't always prepared for what's going to happen and I guess they just *hope* everything will work out okay - a very vulnerable state of mind.
This is why there are a few questions I try to harp on numerous times before meeting a couple regardless of what their profile states: Are you D&D free, herps free, what are your boundaries, is kissing okay, etc, because most peoples' knee jerk response is going to be the answer that they know is "correct" but not necessarily true. The key is to ask multiple times, because some people aren't likely to be honest until they understand that you're working in their best interest. Still, there are some people who will deliberately lie no matter what; there's not much that can be done for them. :!
Hopefully your first bad experience will be your last. Good luck!
As an open couple i can say its not abnormal to find that alot of people are NOT what they say they are.. Take us for the ride of your life... We CAN promise no drama and lots of naked times... We are here not to find friends but to have sex and if the people we fuck end up as friends then so be it and if not then thanks for the sex hehehe... We have time on our hands and would NEVER do that to another couple or person...
Will that
It's unfortunate that you've had this happen to you, and apparently twice with the same couple, no less?
While unfortunate, it's also par for the course. Perhaps one of the most cliche and over-used phrases we see appear on profiles is "drama free", and we always take that with a grain of salt.
The truth is there is no such thing as 100% drama or issue-free couples.
Even if they insist on their drama-free status, we also realize that we are all human, and these things are bound to happen from time to time.
The key is not to find the ideal couple but to find the couple that deals with life (swinging) ideally. Find couples that are efficient and adept at dealing with issues between themselves, and are not so selfish to let things get as far as the bedroom before unresolved issues they have in regards to swinging arise during play.
We've had a few situations like that...and they've always been deal-breakers for us. We simply don't have fun if we have to work that hard at making something happen.
However, as a consequence, we've become very successful at filtering and weeding out those couples from the get-go. It's really not that challenging, because there is so much that you can read from people simply by observing them, their body language, how they interact with each other, how they compose themselves while you talk about a potential play dates with you, etc.
Even if they're not inclined to be verbally honest up front with you two in a direct fashion, it's typically obvious in their behavior what their true expectations are.
Asking direct questions about expectations has been mentioned and is always an excellent idea. We've found little things along the way that we take for granted as being non-issues for us are actually huge issues for other couples.
Preferences for foreplay, whether or not kissing is allowed, and if so...kissing with tongue. What about oral, is that acceptable? You see, for us they are acceptable, but we must establish that they are with other couples.
We've also found that more drama tends to be centered around the males in couples (sorry fellas).
I'm not stereotyping here, but this has been our experience. We've had more than our fair share of guys that are ok with everything from girl on girl play, to my girl on him play, to both girls on him play, but once his gal plays one on one with another male besides him....oh Lord, the drama starts!
Swinging has been one of the funnest decisions we've made, cuz we've made it that way, and we elect to avoid the drama at all costs, and that keeps things light and fresh. We know for every couple or bad experience we come across, there are 10 more good ones just around the corner.
~J~
While unfortunate, it's also par for the course. Perhaps one of the most cliche and over-used phrases we see appear on profiles is "drama free", and we always take that with a grain of salt.
The truth is there is no such thing as 100% drama or issue-free couples.
Even if they insist on their drama-free status, we also realize that we are all human, and these things are bound to happen from time to time.
The key is not to find the ideal couple but to find the couple that deals with life (swinging) ideally. Find couples that are efficient and adept at dealing with issues between themselves, and are not so selfish to let things get as far as the bedroom before unresolved issues they have in regards to swinging arise during play.
We've had a few situations like that...and they've always been deal-breakers for us. We simply don't have fun if we have to work that hard at making something happen.
However, as a consequence, we've become very successful at filtering and weeding out those couples from the get-go. It's really not that challenging, because there is so much that you can read from people simply by observing them, their body language, how they interact with each other, how they compose themselves while you talk about a potential play dates with you, etc.
Even if they're not inclined to be verbally honest up front with you two in a direct fashion, it's typically obvious in their behavior what their true expectations are.
Asking direct questions about expectations has been mentioned and is always an excellent idea. We've found little things along the way that we take for granted as being non-issues for us are actually huge issues for other couples.
Preferences for foreplay, whether or not kissing is allowed, and if so...kissing with tongue. What about oral, is that acceptable? You see, for us they are acceptable, but we must establish that they are with other couples.
We've also found that more drama tends to be centered around the males in couples (sorry fellas).
I'm not stereotyping here, but this has been our experience. We've had more than our fair share of guys that are ok with everything from girl on girl play, to my girl on him play, to both girls on him play, but once his gal plays one on one with another male besides him....oh Lord, the drama starts!
Swinging has been one of the funnest decisions we've made, cuz we've made it that way, and we elect to avoid the drama at all costs, and that keeps things light and fresh. We know for every couple or bad experience we come across, there are 10 more good ones just around the corner.
~J~
Well the first and biggest thing i can see is communication, especially between the couples before they play. I dont know why its so hard to ask your partner whether it be a girl or guy if this is ok and if not just let them know. Your partner needs to know you are here together to expand your experiences and for them, not so you can be selfish and have it all for yourself.
I dont know why someone would put themselves in a situation they know from the get-go that they are gunna get jealous about. I mean your not stupid you know if your a jealous person either talk with your partner about it or dont do it.
I think the stupid male ego comes into play alot hence why you see it being us guys that start the drama. Ow is he bigger than me, ow is he better than me, ow is she gunna be thinking of him when we have sex, I mean get over yourself!!!! I saw a topic in one of the forums here bout dick size and couldnt believe how many guys are worried bout it. Personally I could care less my woman is with me cause she loves me, its a mutual agreement that we are in this lifestyle not a onesided decision.
I am sorry that you had the bad experience but dont blame yourself and roll with it not all of us are like that. As someone already said body language is a HUGE tell tale sign.
I dont know why someone would put themselves in a situation they know from the get-go that they are gunna get jealous about. I mean your not stupid you know if your a jealous person either talk with your partner about it or dont do it.
I think the stupid male ego comes into play alot hence why you see it being us guys that start the drama. Ow is he bigger than me, ow is he better than me, ow is she gunna be thinking of him when we have sex, I mean get over yourself!!!! I saw a topic in one of the forums here bout dick size and couldnt believe how many guys are worried bout it. Personally I could care less my woman is with me cause she loves me, its a mutual agreement that we are in this lifestyle not a onesided decision.
I am sorry that you had the bad experience but dont blame yourself and roll with it not all of us are like that. As someone already said body language is a HUGE tell tale sign.
Perfect post TG!
Weve had a couple of interesting experiences, we learn from it and try to recognize the red flags when they pop up.
Weve had a couple of interesting experiences, we learn from it and try to recognize the red flags when they pop up.
QUEENOFCRUNKXXX,
Your mistake was that you assumed that everyone was at the same level as you. That's not a stab, but an observation. One of the first mistakes we all make is assuming that because we are all "swingers", we are all seasoned veterans of the lifestyle and have ironed out all the wrinkles in our relationships as swingers.
It is unrealistic to expect everyone to be on the same page, all the time. I agree with you in that we should all strive to be open and communicate everything we can, to our significant other and the other couple, so that everyone knows where everyone stands with regard to swinger interaction. Does this always happen? No. My advice is don't be discouraged. All you can do is try again or move on.
Everyone is guilty of "DRAMA", including you and me, for that matter. More often than not, those that say "Drama Free" are those that are the biggest perpetrators and perpetuators of it. Just my opinion of course. Better luck next time.
-D-
Your mistake was that you assumed that everyone was at the same level as you. That's not a stab, but an observation. One of the first mistakes we all make is assuming that because we are all "swingers", we are all seasoned veterans of the lifestyle and have ironed out all the wrinkles in our relationships as swingers.
It is unrealistic to expect everyone to be on the same page, all the time. I agree with you in that we should all strive to be open and communicate everything we can, to our significant other and the other couple, so that everyone knows where everyone stands with regard to swinger interaction. Does this always happen? No. My advice is don't be discouraged. All you can do is try again or move on.
Everyone is guilty of "DRAMA", including you and me, for that matter. More often than not, those that say "Drama Free" are those that are the biggest perpetrators and perpetuators of it. Just my opinion of course. Better luck next time.
-D-
Thanks for all the great advice. We still would love to hear more. In this specific situation we had talked about boundries and thought we all understood them. The first time the guy came and then kinda got wierd as my husband was still with his wife. That should have been a huge red flag for us. The next night they still wanted to hang out and confirmed with us they were cool with everything and how he is just shy. So we decided to give it another try. We thought the way he handled it was very rude and immature. Granted when things get started your feelings may change after you have already started but you should never just walk out. We would have understood and if he would have told us how he felt. We will take this as a learning experience and hope it doesn't happen again. Again, still open to more advice.....
Thank you Silent Scorp!!!!! You guys are so sweet!!! You two are awesome.
One thing we have that works pretty well is, certain phrases or a look that if one of us isn't too excited about proceeding further or theres something wrong, all we need to do is say it and then your spouse knows and things slow down. This is mostly addressed to the other couple as it seems as though they wasnt on the same page.
we must say wtf ... lol who in their right mind would walk out on such a couple ::: scraches head::: omg ..... but thats why we play with singles hubby is a voyour so we play mostly with single guys no drama lol they cum and they go lol ..
Thanks WEFLY !!!! You two are one of many other couples we have met that are fun and drama free. Looking forward to more fun in the near future! xoxoXXX
I had a horrible experience a while back too. It was not a couple from this site. As a matter of fact I had met them out at a night club. We exchanged numbers and went out a couple more times.
One night when that wife excused herself to use the ladies room he asked if I wanted to
One night when that wife excused herself to use the ladies room he asked if I wanted to
SWEET!!!! I would chalk that up to plus for me. It's like getting popped for prostitution as a male. I would love to have that on my police record.
-D-
-D-
TG.. Very well said darlin.... We talk so much and have gotten so much closser .... Open and honest with eachother always...
I can't believe anyone would feel uncomforable or walk out on you guys! Your both Super Hot and tons of Fun! We're sorry we missed ya last night! Ohh well it's there loss is all we can say! XOXO
XOXOWell partiallyshaved, sorry to say this but somehow your story makes us feel a bit better about ours. LOL. What an interesting experience. Again, a situation where communication and honesty is key. xoxoXXX
UTBIPLAYMATE, See how you guys are? If you would have been around none of this would have happened. LOL LOL 
Thanks you two! You are also a great couple without drama and only fun times.
Thanks you two! You are also a great couple without drama and only fun times.On a funny note the guy was in such a hurry he left his boxers and t shirt. Maybe I should mail them to him???
We all meet with people we aren't compatible with. It's the nature of the beast. Why focus on the shitty times? It appears you've had successes. Focus on the positive :-)
-D-
-D-
Well said TEQUILAROSE!
For me there have been far more good times.
I think I have done a nice job of being friendly and caring with couples I have met with. There was one time not all that long ago though that I became one of those dreaded single males who doesn't perform up to par. It totally suck for me and the couple. It really wasn't her. It was totally me, but luckily that has been the only time (knock on wood....So long as I have it...LOL) AND there have been far more great times than there have be bad!
For me there have been far more good times.
I think I have done a nice job of being friendly and caring with couples I have met with. There was one time not all that long ago though that I became one of those dreaded single males who doesn't perform up to par. It totally suck for me and the couple. It really wasn't her. It was totally me, but luckily that has been the only time (knock on wood....So long as I have it...LOL) AND there have been far more great times than there have be bad!
Hi Queen although we have never met you 2 we would love to someday, We both love to watch each other being pleasured. We have never had anything like that happen to us as of yet. (knock on wood) no that wood honey. Anyway we think that you 2 are very hot and the the problem lies with the other couple which we hope we never meet them. Hope they are reading this so they don't ever contact us. Russ/Kim
Again, the intent of this post wasn't to obsess over this one bad time. It was to express our feelings and frustration. The advice everyone has shared with us is very helpful. We just want to avoid this kind of situation in the future. Realistically we do realize that we will come across this sort of thing again but atleast now we will be better prepared to deal with it. We will do things differently next time. Hopefully any simiular couples reading this will also choose not to contact us and the ones that are on our level will.
Yeas, I have found some of the advice to be helpful too and from that experience and now yours I am learning that even the single male has questions he needs to ask and some checking to do before playing.
Have a happy new year all.
Have a happy new year all.
Queen,
It sounds like you've had lots of good. All those people vouching for you is a good sign. I hope I didn't make it sound like you were whining. I was just trying to cheer you up, by showing you the good side.
;-)
-D-
It sounds like you've had lots of good. All those people vouching for you is a good sign. I hope I didn't make it sound like you were whining. I was just trying to cheer you up, by showing you the good side.
;-)
-D-
hmmm DRAMA....wish someone would list the definition of DRAMA. Some might say that this is drama....airing dirty laundry on a public forum....others may think quarraling in public...anyhow it sounds like there may have been some miss-communication between possibly the four of you. Unless i have miss-read the replys it appears that the other couple have not responded to this post. i certainly would hate to see the members of this site become "JUDGE & JURY" without knowing both sides....especially if they do not want to discuss it for one reason or another.
Queen, hope your experiences are pleasurable...that is what we all want, and let it be known that we are certainly not tryin to "stir the pot" simply tryin to keep un open mind....I know that WE ALL claim to be drama free...but we will be the first to admit that we are not perfect in our dealing with each other or with others.....ALL THE TIME!! this can be sometimes a interesting lifestyle...
HAPPY NYE!!!
Mr. Diver
Queen, hope your experiences are pleasurable...that is what we all want, and let it be known that we are certainly not tryin to "stir the pot" simply tryin to keep un open mind....I know that WE ALL claim to be drama free...but we will be the first to admit that we are not perfect in our dealing with each other or with others.....ALL THE TIME!! this can be sometimes a interesting lifestyle...
HAPPY NYE!!!
Mr. Diver
I think alot of people would agree that it can be difficult to find a good, solid 4-way connection when swapping with couples, and sometimes you don't know things aren't clicking until you're already playing. The best thing to do is put it behind you and move on to the next. When you finally do make that awesome connection with another couple, it makes the "not so good" experiences worth it.
BINGO.....and the winner is: UTFUN
well put!!
happy NYE...get laid.
Mr. diver
well put!!
happy NYE...get laid.
Mr. diver
we ike to know the cpl a little b4 fucking... but the extent is like what music do you listen to... do u play chess...what r ur hobbies...etc... dont care that your mothers brothers, cousins brothers sister is a slut... tmi... but knowing the cpl and some of their interests is food for thought for activitys outside the bedroom.....but the b4 mentioned drama is what we try to avoid.....just our 2cents worth...dennis and sara
ya mail my t shirt and boxers back god damn it, they are my only pair without stains!! lol seriously sorry to hear about your bad time
S & C
S & C
No drama here...fuck that