Ba Hum bug!!!
The Holidays.
The time of year we are forced to hang out with vanilla friends and family. Thanksgiving day I was listening to what they considered "normal conversation" but for me it all had a different meaning.
"Just spread the legs open and stuff it in."
"How many are coming?"
"Just lay back and take it easy--I'll do the rest."
"Are you ready for seconds yet?"
"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"
"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
"Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it."
"How long will it take after you stick it in?"
"How long do I beat it before it's ready?"
"Are you going to come again next time?"
"It's a little dry. Do you still want to eat it?"
"Just wait your turn. You'll get some!"
"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"
"You still have a little bit on your chin."
"You'll know it's ready when it pops up."
"Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."
"She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."
(Yes, all these lines were stolen from a buddy of mine. I am clearly not smart enough to think of these on my own)
The Holidays.
The time of year we are forced to hang out with vanilla friends and family. Thanksgiving day I was listening to what they considered "normal conversation" but for me it all had a different meaning.
"Just spread the legs open and stuff it in."
"How many are coming?"
"Just lay back and take it easy--I'll do the rest."
"Are you ready for seconds yet?"
"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"
"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
"Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it."
"How long will it take after you stick it in?"
"How long do I beat it before it's ready?"
"Are you going to come again next time?"
"It's a little dry. Do you still want to eat it?"
"Just wait your turn. You'll get some!"
"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"
"You still have a little bit on your chin."
"You'll know it's ready when it pops up."
"Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."
"She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."
(Yes, all these lines were stolen from a buddy of mine. I am clearly not smart enough to think of these on my own)
I feel your pain, and we do the same thing at "vanilla parties." Me and my husband just give each other a quick glance and a little smirk because we both thought the same naughty little thought. Then in the car on the way home we just laugh at all the comments people were saying. We say, "Oh, could you imagine cousin ____ and Uncle _____ at one of OUR parties?? OMG that would be so funny."