Just curious to know if people are more comfortable if the couple they are playing with are married? Or if it does not matter?
We think it is a little more stable a couple for the most part. With some sort of attachment instead of just a man and a woman looking for others, it makes the people take care of each other and not do stupid things.
About that.
Are you talking about the "sacred institution of marriage" or a couple, unmarried, that is stable (e.g. having been together for some time and/or is committed to one another).
I ask because the beautiful and amazingly talented Ms. K_T and I are *not* married (and don't plan on getting that way any time soon). Many people we meet just assume we are and call her my wife. We have many friends and play partners who are unmarried, yet committed. I'm sure we would all love to know if there's a segment out there who sets limits based on marital status.
Just curious.
-K_T
Are you talking about the "sacred institution of marriage" or a couple, unmarried, that is stable (e.g. having been together for some time and/or is committed to one another).
I ask because the beautiful and amazingly talented Ms. K_T and I are *not* married (and don't plan on getting that way any time soon). Many people we meet just assume we are and call her my wife. We have many friends and play partners who are unmarried, yet committed. I'm sure we would all love to know if there's a segment out there who sets limits based on marital status.
Just curious.
-K_T
Married or in a committed relationship works for us. Otherwise all you have is a single male and a single female. As a part of a committed relationship, I watch out for the wife and she watches out for me. We have found that single males tend to watch out for themselves. "As long as I get mine, I don't care about you." Why do you think that insurances drop your rates if you are married? A married 30yo male gets lower rates than a single 30yo male, all things being equal. For the most part that is.
We don't have a preference, we've seen married couples flake out just as well as non-married couples.
I was going to say that Belle...I actually *know* what to expect from single males and females. The motivation is pretty clear.
The only problems I've ever really had in this lifestyle have come from people who are "married" or in a "committed" relationship. That's one reason Ms. K_T and I really like to chat and get to know people. You can usually peg within 30 minutes (or less) whether a relationship is in trouble or not. We avoid those couples when it comes to play time...just don't want/need the drama. (And those troubles have been rather sparse, thank goodness. When they crop up, they are dealt with quickly and conscisely).
Both of us have been the Singles in this lifestyle and have experienced that side...so we tend to simply keep an eye on each other and the guests we bring rather than depend upon others to do it for us.
-K_T
The only problems I've ever really had in this lifestyle have come from people who are "married" or in a "committed" relationship. That's one reason Ms. K_T and I really like to chat and get to know people. You can usually peg within 30 minutes (or less) whether a relationship is in trouble or not. We avoid those couples when it comes to play time...just don't want/need the drama. (And those troubles have been rather sparse, thank goodness. When they crop up, they are dealt with quickly and conscisely).
Both of us have been the Singles in this lifestyle and have experienced that side...so we tend to simply keep an eye on each other and the guests we bring rather than depend upon others to do it for us.
-K_T
Belle. Two things.
1. Has anyone told you (female) that in certain angles you look like Jennifer Anniston?
2. How about the difference between a couple that is just one man and woman hooking up for a party vs a committed relationship?
1. Has anyone told you (female) that in certain angles you look like Jennifer Anniston?
2. How about the difference between a couple that is just one man and woman hooking up for a party vs a committed relationship?
Ah, the good 'ol "sacred institution of marriage" (good one K_T)....it's just so stable isn't it, what with the high percentage of divorces in this country, it's a guarantee ain't it? 
Mr. Two and I aren't married (and we're with you K_T...probably not going to happen any time soon), but we're no less committed than a married couple. I would also be interested in knowing if there was a segment that excluded us "Non-married" folk...
Mr. Two and I aren't married (and we're with you K_T...probably not going to happen any time soon), but we're no less committed than a married couple. I would also be interested in knowing if there was a segment that excluded us "Non-married" folk...
Well put Blindlove. You cannot generalize people. I think you are missing out on a lot of good people if you tend to generalize people too much.
What about couples that are in a committed relationship (married or seriously dating for some time) vs two single people who meet up with others as a "couple"?
Would like to say to us a couple is a couple be it married or not it should have no bearings wheather you should or should not meet or entertain the idea of meeting... We play with single people and married people find that we enjoy play time with adults with little to no hang ups about sex..
the couples level of comfort with one another is what's important to me. Some couples that are not married have been more comfortable with each other than some married couples I've met.
It justs depends on the people, not their relationship status.
Everbody have their taste- We've done all types but would prefer group sex Our motto is trying out everything at least once and if we like it, its golden!
A&B
Our motto is trying out everything at least once and if we like it, its golden! A&B
It doesn't make a difference to us if the couple is married to each other or not. Now if they are married to other people and partying behind their spouse's back... we take issue with that. If they are simply a committed couple, but not married, that in our book is the same as being married.
Mr. CARESS4U
Mr. CARESS4U
X2 on that. Marriage is just a piece of paper. The relationship is what matters.
We really don't care if thay are committed or not. We are committed to each other and that is all that we worry about. If they are playing as a singles togather thats up to them. We got into this lifestyle for the fun sex not a commitment with another couple.
Well, if they are a non-committed couple, will they be as caring of each other? Will the "golden rule" still apply? Hell, I can be as bad to your lady as I want as long as I get my rocks off. Feel free to do the same to the woman I brought. What is her history? Are they going to be as careful when they meet other people or will they bring some diseases with them?
When I was young and single, ALL thinking was done with the little head. At this point, if I do something stupid, I run the risk of infecting my wife. Therefore, I am going to be more cautious with who I play with. You might get a decent non-committed couple or an indecent committed couple. However, IMO, the odds of you getting a decent couple is from the committed as opposed to the man and woman who come as a couple. IOW, you have more to lose as a committed couple so you might be more restrained.
When I was young and single, ALL thinking was done with the little head. At this point, if I do something stupid, I run the risk of infecting my wife. Therefore, I am going to be more cautious with who I play with. You might get a decent non-committed couple or an indecent committed couple. However, IMO, the odds of you getting a decent couple is from the committed as opposed to the man and woman who come as a couple. IOW, you have more to lose as a committed couple so you might be more restrained.
"When I was young and single, ALL thinking was done with the little head. At this point, if I do something stupid, I run the risk of infecting my wife. Therefore, I am going to be more cautious with who I play with. You might get a decent non-committed couple or an indecent committed couple. However, IMO, the odds of you getting a decent couple is from the committed as opposed to the man and woman who come as a couple. IOW, you have more to lose as a committed couple so you might be more restrained"
Thats just not true we have meet committed couples in this lifestyle that get with as may other people as they can. Being committed to each other has nothing to do with how careful thay are with others. When you meet with a committed couple you have no way of know how many people that they have been with.The best way to play is play safe if it with a committed couple or not.
Thats just not true we have meet committed couples in this lifestyle that get with as may other people as they can. Being committed to each other has nothing to do with how careful thay are with others. When you meet with a committed couple you have no way of know how many people that they have been with.The best way to play is play safe if it with a committed couple or not.
"Thats just not true we have meet committed couples in this lifestyle that get with as may other people as they can. Being committed to each other has nothing to do with how careful thay are with others. When you meet with a committed couple you have no way of know how many people that they have been with.The best way to play is play safe if it with a committed couple or not."
I guess we are basing it on what the insurance companies do. When they rated me years ago, the minute I got married, my rates dropped because I was seen as less of a liability. They have NO way to know if you are in a committed relationship or not without the piece of paper. So far the odds seem to have worked for them.
As to playing it safe, using rubbers, we are not sure how that really helps other than with pregnancy. After all, if the wife blows someone with something, she can get it orally and when she blows me, I get it too. Yes, we have to run some risk in this lifestyle but we are trying to minimize it as much as possible.
I guess we are basing it on what the insurance companies do. When they rated me years ago, the minute I got married, my rates dropped because I was seen as less of a liability. They have NO way to know if you are in a committed relationship or not without the piece of paper. So far the odds seem to have worked for them.
As to playing it safe, using rubbers, we are not sure how that really helps other than with pregnancy. After all, if the wife blows someone with something, she can get it orally and when she blows me, I get it too. Yes, we have to run some risk in this lifestyle but we are trying to minimize it as much as possible.
Married or a very stable long-term couple for us who are looking for the same thing (other couples only no single men)
If you are looking for a couple to swap with and everyone is up for it, does it really matter if they are married, long term or just met? We enjoy the sex with nice people as long as we all agree and know that we are there for the fun of it. We are not looking for people to become best freinds with. We go to clubs and have been knowen to each grab someone and then head back to a room to play as a 4 some. Had some very fun times with 2 people that did not know each other or us until we all had sex together! We had some thing to talk about after.
Posted By: ONEFUNFRIEND Reply posted on:
Dec 26, 2007 - 2:27 pm
If you are looking for a couple to swap with and everyone is up for it, does it really matter if they are married, long term or just met? We enjoy the sex with nice people as long as we all agree and know that we are there for the fun of it. We are not looking for people to become best friends with.
Marriage is basically a piece of paper. However, to the insurance company, it is a sign of a LTR. Why do you think that LTR couples have lower rates? Maybe it is because they take less risks? You get 2 single people who have just met. Think about them for a minute. As a single guy, I would try to get laid even in dangerous situations. Did my little head thinking for the big head get me into trouble before? OH HELL YES. Was I lucky? Yes. If I had continued, would I always be lucky? Probably not. If they have some undesirable issues, am I going to get them? Very likely. Insurance companies think that people in LTRs are going to be more stable and take less risks. So far, they are making money and therefore must have done something right. In this lifestyle, unless we soft swing where you are with your partner in one bed and I am with mine in another, we are taking a risk. Can we eliminate ALL risk and still be full swap? No. Should we take unnecessary risks? I wouldn't wouldn't find it fun but YMMV. When playing with someone, I tend to be more conscious of how I treat the lady because I want her partner to be nice to my wife. With 2 strangers, are you sure they won't just be trying to get what they want out of it and to hell with you if you aren't happy?
Dec 26, 2007 - 2:27 pm
If you are looking for a couple to swap with and everyone is up for it, does it really matter if they are married, long term or just met? We enjoy the sex with nice people as long as we all agree and know that we are there for the fun of it. We are not looking for people to become best friends with.
Marriage is basically a piece of paper. However, to the insurance company, it is a sign of a LTR. Why do you think that LTR couples have lower rates? Maybe it is because they take less risks? You get 2 single people who have just met. Think about them for a minute. As a single guy, I would try to get laid even in dangerous situations. Did my little head thinking for the big head get me into trouble before? OH HELL YES. Was I lucky? Yes. If I had continued, would I always be lucky? Probably not. If they have some undesirable issues, am I going to get them? Very likely. Insurance companies think that people in LTRs are going to be more stable and take less risks. So far, they are making money and therefore must have done something right. In this lifestyle, unless we soft swing where you are with your partner in one bed and I am with mine in another, we are taking a risk. Can we eliminate ALL risk and still be full swap? No. Should we take unnecessary risks? I wouldn't wouldn't find it fun but YMMV. When playing with someone, I tend to be more conscious of how I treat the lady because I want her partner to be nice to my wife. With 2 strangers, are you sure they won't just be trying to get what they want out of it and to hell with you if you aren't happy?
Posted By: T4REAL69 Reply posted on:
Dec 26, 2007 - 5:55 pm
Insurance companies also consider the age of individuals, the gender of persons, the neighborhood one lives in, how close one lives to the nearest fire station, the type of car one drives, driving records, types of activites one particpates in, age of the person, smoker/non-smoker etc... I can on on and on citing the things that insurance companies consider when they set a person or persons rate.
To compare the safeness of swinging to that of what an insurance company charges in terms of whether or not a person is a greater risk based solely upon them being invovled in a LTR is a faulty anology at best.
OK. Lets put it this way. If I apply for life or auto insurance twice, once as a single male, once as a married male, which application gives me a lower rate? Maybe I should have stated "all things being equal".
Well, I have no access to the other factors, that much is true. Lacking a better system, I am using the only factor I have. It would be nice to run them thru a long check list but for practical purposes, what else can I use? I never claimed it to be a perfect system or one even as good as the insurance companies. However, it is better than nothing is all I am saying.
Dec 26, 2007 - 5:55 pm
Insurance companies also consider the age of individuals, the gender of persons, the neighborhood one lives in, how close one lives to the nearest fire station, the type of car one drives, driving records, types of activites one particpates in, age of the person, smoker/non-smoker etc... I can on on and on citing the things that insurance companies consider when they set a person or persons rate.
To compare the safeness of swinging to that of what an insurance company charges in terms of whether or not a person is a greater risk based solely upon them being invovled in a LTR is a faulty anology at best.
OK. Lets put it this way. If I apply for life or auto insurance twice, once as a single male, once as a married male, which application gives me a lower rate? Maybe I should have stated "all things being equal".
Well, I have no access to the other factors, that much is true. Lacking a better system, I am using the only factor I have. It would be nice to run them thru a long check list but for practical purposes, what else can I use? I never claimed it to be a perfect system or one even as good as the insurance companies. However, it is better than nothing is all I am saying.
It's already been said, but I'll throw my perspective in as well. I've played with married couples and non-married but committed couples. The simple fact is that I don't really care. so I typically don't ask. What I DO care about is how they treat each other, if they're respectful, honest and honorable about their relationship. I don't and won't play with married people separately unless I've established a relationship with BOTH of them and am 100% sure there won't be an issue. This has only happened twice.
That said and all other factors being equal I'd certainly have long conversations with hubby, wife, boyfriend and girlfriend. Then I'd do em all. <snicker>
Enjoy!
-Te
That said and all other factors being equal I'd certainly have long conversations with hubby, wife, boyfriend and girlfriend. Then I'd do em all. <snicker>
Enjoy!
-Te
Aklim69, do you compare several couples insurance bills to see what their rates are, then hook up with the couple who has the lowest rates?
I don't think another couple's/two swingers level of commitment has anything to do with it. As long as no one is left out, that's the issue. Who gives a fuck if they're married, dating or just hooking up as swing partners.
-D-
-D-
utfc111... thats no fair,.... we pay high rates.. i think its cheap compared to what we have insured,,, 06 yucon, 06 gmc 3/4 ton crew cab & 07 3/4 tom crew cab costs us around 240 a month that'd suck if we couldnt play because our ins bill is high...lol
Well you guys would probably get laid more if you switched to Geico lol
maby we should check on that....we on progressive... just refuse to let a gecko screw us for money for nothing.... maby u two would like to give us a lesson... WINK...WINK... next time we are down that way...mmmmmm...d&s p.s. thanks for enlightening us where riverton was...swak
There are 2 things we don't like about people not in LTRs.
1. If they are 2 people who get together to meet others, are they safe to play with? Are they going to be discreet or is the guy going to blab to anyone who would listen? Are they more likely to be clean or might one of them have some undesirables?
2. If they have no connection with each other, are they more likely to be on their best behavior so that the other person is also being taken care of? I know I am more cautious with the lady since I want her husband to be nice to my wife. Would 2 people who get together for the sole purpose of meeting others be as considerate?
As I said before, it's all a chance. You could have a LTR couple that does either one of the above or all of the above. So far, in our experience, we have found that couples that are in LTRs are less likely to annoy us with the above 2 issues. IOW, so far, weeding them out by whether they are in a committed relationship has worked. Are there other factors? Sure. However, would those factors become apparent without meeting them and actually seeing where it goes? Unlikely. Time, unfortunately is an item we are short of. So, to make the best of it, we can't just go meet everyone and weed them out. We have to weed them out on their likelihood of whether we will feel comfortable or not.
1. If they are 2 people who get together to meet others, are they safe to play with? Are they going to be discreet or is the guy going to blab to anyone who would listen? Are they more likely to be clean or might one of them have some undesirables?
2. If they have no connection with each other, are they more likely to be on their best behavior so that the other person is also being taken care of? I know I am more cautious with the lady since I want her husband to be nice to my wife. Would 2 people who get together for the sole purpose of meeting others be as considerate?
As I said before, it's all a chance. You could have a LTR couple that does either one of the above or all of the above. So far, in our experience, we have found that couples that are in LTRs are less likely to annoy us with the above 2 issues. IOW, so far, weeding them out by whether they are in a committed relationship has worked. Are there other factors? Sure. However, would those factors become apparent without meeting them and actually seeing where it goes? Unlikely. Time, unfortunately is an item we are short of. So, to make the best of it, we can't just go meet everyone and weed them out. We have to weed them out on their likelihood of whether we will feel comfortable or not.
We only play with single males.
So why even reply or perhaps just say no. LOL!
We have found that even married couples can prove to be full of drama. THough trying to keep up with the boyfriends of some friends has proven to be quite interesting, though not viewed negatively.
But then I think were not totally devoid of drama so who are we to say. What we look for formost is if all four of us click, if one doesnt fit in the we keep it informal and at habits.
But then I think were not totally devoid of drama so who are we to say. What we look for formost is if all four of us click, if one doesnt fit in the we keep it informal and at habits.
Married, non-married, single, occupied, committed, sane, fashionable, funny, slightly crazy...whatever. So long as we get a good "vibe" and enjoy who they are we can pretty much accept out play partners for who they are and what they bring (as long as it doesn't involve dramatics).
Over the past couple of years, we have had 6 of our good lifestyle couple friends either divorce or separate. The main reason for nearly every one of the breakdowns in the relationship was either jealousy or cheating. So to answer your question from our point of view.. being married no longer matters to us, we just look for people who can be honest with themselves, their partner or friend and with us. Its not fun to see the people you really care about loose the spark due to the drama that comes between people when they betray the trust and loyalty that brought them together. It almost makes those terrible singles look much more desirable. (Less drama)
The man and I aren't married. We probably won't get married until I can get over my phobia. (I've been in a bad marriage) Currently we're playing with married folks.
In this area my only issues are with people who play as a couple but are still married to someone outside the lifestyle. I know of a more than one 'couple' that are both cheating on their spouses while they play with others. I find this very very wrong and felt dirty and cheap when I found out I'd been lied too.
for me, swinging is all about the honesty and it's sad when someone ruins that, I don't want to play a part in their deception.
Mrs. Curious
ps, I'm always so tempted to be the tattle tale and get their asses caught. (is that mean of me?)
I hate cheaters!
for me, swinging is all about the honesty and it's sad when someone ruins that, I don't want to play a part in their deception.
Mrs. Curious
ps, I'm always so tempted to be the tattle tale and get their asses caught. (is that mean of me?)
I hate cheaters!
"Just curious to know if people are more comfortable if the couple they are playing with are married? Or if it does not matter?"
It doesn't matter to us as long as there is definitely affection between the other two. If there is not good feelings than the whole experience will probably blow-up on you. We will not however play with couple who are married to others and are just swinging couples to cheat on their spouse because they won't swing.
It doesn't matter to us as long as there is definitely affection between the other two. If there is not good feelings than the whole experience will probably blow-up on you. We will not however play with couple who are married to others and are just swinging couples to cheat on their spouse because they won't swing.
All this talk about married couples......... thought we would let yall know we are making official April 21st 2008.... after 7 years .. btw we have not had any one tell us they didn't like us because we were not officialy married nor do we care as long as they an exclusive couple.... Stephen and Deb
after 7 years .. btw we have not had any one tell us they didn't like us because we were not officialy married nor do we care as long as they an exclusive couple.... Stephen and Debi know we as a couple at first were afraid to even think of this type of thing but then talked about it and we belive that if you are married and do it together that it is not cheating and that it is more like a coples activity
Why do couples think that all single men are stepping out on someone or just all the same? Us single males out here are not like that...some of us males just feel MUCH more comfortable in playing/meeting cpls since they seem to be more straight up honest and comfortable. As for the saying by cpls that have said "single male's are a dime a dozen" ...seems that more single females are appearing on this site and good share of those female's profiles only lead to links.
It only becomes cheating when the other partner(married or not) has not given their permission. Everyone thinks my ex cheated on me. That isn't the way I see it. Jealous people have more drama then any couple.
Single guys need to be embraced and welcomed. Why is it only single guys get the bad rap and not single girls?
Single guys need to be embraced and welcomed. Why is it only single guys get the bad rap and not single girls?
Posted By: SEXYKINUTH Reply posted on:
Apr 13, 2008 - 4:10 pm
Why is it only single guys get the bad rap and not single girls?
===============================================================
Well, when you can throw a stone just about anywhere and hit 3 single guys while a real single girl is a pretty rare find (relatively) coupled with the fact that most men are not bi (either openly or in the closet), I think you can do the math.
Think about a house you might purchase. If one of the two you narrowed it down to is more expensive than the other but you like it more, won't you pay a little more? Same thing. With a single female, people are more willing to put up with a little more because they are sought after. Not to brag but I believe that if we wanted to go to town tonight and ask around for sex, I think my wife would have gotten laid 10 times over before I even got anything. If we both say "Hey, wanna fuck?", who do you think gets laid first?
Apr 13, 2008 - 4:10 pm
Why is it only single guys get the bad rap and not single girls?
===============================================================
Well, when you can throw a stone just about anywhere and hit 3 single guys while a real single girl is a pretty rare find (relatively) coupled with the fact that most men are not bi (either openly or in the closet), I think you can do the math.
Think about a house you might purchase. If one of the two you narrowed it down to is more expensive than the other but you like it more, won't you pay a little more? Same thing. With a single female, people are more willing to put up with a little more because they are sought after. Not to brag but I believe that if we wanted to go to town tonight and ask around for sex, I think my wife would have gotten laid 10 times over before I even got anything. If we both say "Hey, wanna fuck?", who do you think gets laid first?
I'm going to add something that is taboo, the concept of a couple taking some time together as if to steal away from their partner where one or both are married and / or swingers. Isn't there some additional excitement to do so?
Please know that I have considered very thoroughly that it is best to conduct behaviour while the significant other is aware, either same room or separately.
So correct me (and I'm sure you will) if I am wrong but I think there is a situation now and then where a couple could steal away and have a good time if they are cool about it, married or single, yes?
Please know that I have considered very thoroughly that it is best to conduct behaviour while the significant other is aware, either same room or separately.
So correct me (and I'm sure you will) if I am wrong but I think there is a situation now and then where a couple could steal away and have a good time if they are cool about it, married or single, yes?
Marriage has little to do with this lifestyle. I've found that swingers (libertines) are a state of being or mindset and not a label given to any one group. Singles can be swingers too. Unmarried couples can be as well. Swinger is a broad label. Marriage has nothing to do with it.
-D-
-D-