ok I feel kinda dumb asking this but i think that it might help others to so here it goes
we are kinda new to this we have been on the site and exchanging mail and chatting with people for a little over two years and love all the really nice people here you really make us feel at home but here is where the prob lies.
we have only been to a few parties and to meet people for drinks and one after party. But when it cames to parties and meeting people face to face i for some reason seem to get nervous and i dont know why. i dont know if it is the fooling around and me being insecure with me or if i think that there is this underlying thought in my head that says they are expecting you to do something evan if you dont feel comfortable doing so at the time.
so here is the question is there anyone out there that would be willing to give me some advice on how to relax so that we can enjoy the situations as they arise so that i may take the lifestyle as it comes.
we are kinda new to this we have been on the site and exchanging mail and chatting with people for a little over two years and love all the really nice people here you really make us feel at home but here is where the prob lies.
we have only been to a few parties and to meet people for drinks and one after party. But when it cames to parties and meeting people face to face i for some reason seem to get nervous and i dont know why. i dont know if it is the fooling around and me being insecure with me or if i think that there is this underlying thought in my head that says they are expecting you to do something evan if you dont feel comfortable doing so at the time.
so here is the question is there anyone out there that would be willing to give me some advice on how to relax so that we can enjoy the situations as they arise so that i may take the lifestyle as it comes.
Our advice is to just jump in 2 or 3 times. First time don't count because you are going to be kinda shocked. Lets say you have sex with a couple and don't like it. Try it again with someone else and see how it goes after you have gotten over your shock. Say you try it a few times and hate it. Well, stop doing it. Did you lose anything?
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The only way to learn to swim is to get in the water. I think you've been doing exactly what it takes to get over your fear. Show up to parties and social events until your fears subside. You'll find that a lot of your preconceptions will go dissipate.
<br>
<br>
-Don-
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The only way to learn to swim is to get in the water. I think you've been doing exactly what it takes to get over your fear. Show up to parties and social events until your fears subside. You'll find that a lot of your preconceptions will go dissipate.
<br>
<br>
-Don-
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We have to agree with the previous replies. You seem to know where your fears stem, and the only way to do something about them is to confront them.
I must say personally though that it's up to you as to the pace at which you do. To say your afraid of the water, and to jump into the deep end your first time in is likely a bad idea. Wading in a few times (as you have with the socials) is likely a bit more realistic. But once you have gotten into the water a few times, the only way to learn is to swim. There isn't much of a "flotation device" that can help you past the jitters you feel at this point. At least not one I know of.
Good luck in your endeavors and just go for it. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
Just my 2
I must say personally though that it's up to you as to the pace at which you do. To say your afraid of the water, and to jump into the deep end your first time in is likely a bad idea. Wading in a few times (as you have with the socials) is likely a bit more realistic. But once you have gotten into the water a few times, the only way to learn is to swim. There isn't much of a "flotation device" that can help you past the jitters you feel at this point. At least not one I know of.
Good luck in your endeavors and just go for it. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
Just my 2
All people are different, and some are as comfortable with 1 on 1 situations as they are talking on the computer. Meeting people face to face is alot of stress because you tend to worry about impressions.
Just be yourself. You will find that alot of people will be attracted to you as individuals, and as a couple. Some wont be, that is a fact, it is dating in a different way. We meet different couples and yes, nerves come into play, we all go through it. We have also found really special people that will be true friends for a very long time thanks to taking a chance.
So you're not alone in the nervousness and the butterflies you get, because we all get them in our own way, all we can suggest is to learn from each experience you have, and talk about them together with your partner, as a couple in private. If you do that, you will find how much easier it is to open up and enjoy each other and the company your with.
The best of luck to you both, it will get easier..
~D&T~
Just be yourself. You will find that alot of people will be attracted to you as individuals, and as a couple. Some wont be, that is a fact, it is dating in a different way. We meet different couples and yes, nerves come into play, we all go through it. We have also found really special people that will be true friends for a very long time thanks to taking a chance.
So you're not alone in the nervousness and the butterflies you get, because we all get them in our own way, all we can suggest is to learn from each experience you have, and talk about them together with your partner, as a couple in private. If you do that, you will find how much easier it is to open up and enjoy each other and the company your with.
The best of luck to you both, it will get easier..
~D&T~
thanks guys for all of the advice
Meet a cpl suggest a fun strip card game but change the rules as once you lose all the clothing then you go to "sexual favors" we have used this with new people and everyone is fucking by nights end it has yet to fail lol. Good luck and have fun.
Norm&Sharon
Norm&Sharon
you are so funny sinful (oh yea and naughty too)