not sure it needs a reply, but if you feel the need short and simple...you felt honesty was best, you were not trying to hurt anyones feelings. it always amazes me when folks flip out or get so angry, will they meet EVERYONE that emails them?
I really would not sweat it.
Michele
I really would not sweat it.
Michele
Put them on ignore and move on. We just had a similar situation for a different reason. :!
What does "filled out" mean? I'm new here, sorry, and don't want to do anything improper.
I believe he meant "flipped out"
I say you did the right thing, you shouldn't have to reply because that would probably make things worse and you will just fall into the drama that obviously you were trying to avoid in the first place. Some people need to learn that not everybody is going to be attracted to them, and lets hope this was a lesson to these people more than likley they will get turned down again some time in the future. If so they might take it easier than with you.
You were at least courtious enough to write and let them know you weren't interested. Most time people won't even due that, we think you did right and just move past it.
S&D
S&D
sign us up for that "Full Swap" thing!
Take their reply as confirmation that you made the right decision to not meet. Sounds like they have a long and tough journey ahead of them unless they grow up fast.
What I'm about to say comes up (for us) from time to time, and - in spite of any other reasons to say or not say one thing or another - we still believe we have the "best" approach. (I readily acknowledge 'best' is a tricky word).
Just politely decline. Don't give *any* reasons, ever. Even if specifically asked why you've declined, in reply, you can still say, "We appreciate your asking, but we sincerely prefer to politely decline without going into detail." (This should always be accepted, because you're expressing a sincere preference - people who can't respect preferences have no business in this lifestyle.)
The thing is, if you give reasons, you're inviting a response (where it's not necessary), or miscommunication (again, not necessary), or hurt feelings (also not necessary), or any number of other undesireable things (each and every one not necessary).
So, just don't. Remember: Most people consider it polite to respond; if in responding you decline, there's no requirement to say why.
For some reason, people feel compelled to justify themselves when informing others of a decision (good or bad). You don't need to.
Yes, we've had people get upset because we wouldn't say why (although it's very rare). The distinction is that we've not given them a reason to feel upset, simply because we won't say. As others have pointed out here, if they're going to act poorly or can't respect your preferences, it's probably best to steer clear anyway.
Hope this helps.
Just politely decline. Don't give *any* reasons, ever. Even if specifically asked why you've declined, in reply, you can still say, "We appreciate your asking, but we sincerely prefer to politely decline without going into detail." (This should always be accepted, because you're expressing a sincere preference - people who can't respect preferences have no business in this lifestyle.)
The thing is, if you give reasons, you're inviting a response (where it's not necessary), or miscommunication (again, not necessary), or hurt feelings (also not necessary), or any number of other undesireable things (each and every one not necessary).
So, just don't. Remember: Most people consider it polite to respond; if in responding you decline, there's no requirement to say why.
For some reason, people feel compelled to justify themselves when informing others of a decision (good or bad). You don't need to.
Yes, we've had people get upset because we wouldn't say why (although it's very rare). The distinction is that we've not given them a reason to feel upset, simply because we won't say. As others have pointed out here, if they're going to act poorly or can't respect your preferences, it's probably best to steer clear anyway.
Hope this helps.
We said a simple polite Thanx but no thanx and we got read the riot act. Apparently we were racist bastards because we wouldn't want to play with a black couple. Never mind they were far away and that their needs didn't match our's. WTF? They even told us that they would not be interested in us even if we were wanting them. So why write to us in the first place?
My advice is to ignore and move on. Some people cannot take "No" for an answer.
What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you men.
My advice is to ignore and move on. Some people cannot take "No" for an answer.
What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you men.
First off... People need to understand that, NOT everyone wants to go ahead with things, and of course the simplest rule ALWAYS APPLIES
NO MEANS NO
Despite all the people out there that CAN be rude, or get upset with rejection, Please DON'T let thier personality faults change ANYONE from being courtesy.
We have been on both ends of the spectrum, as I am sure there are plenty of people out there that have been too...
Letting someone else ruin your day because they can't handle rejection well, isnt supposed to be your problem.
To the couple that were called racist.. its no different than if you were called any number of other things.. Only you know you, and just because they ...
To quote Jack Nicholson...
"CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH"
Doesnt mean you are anything but what YOU say you are..
Personal Choice, What people are into, what you AREN'T into, all go into deciding..
Unfortunately, this is a sad factor that has arisen, when a couple, young or old, have either not had many experiences, or have only ON SITE CLUB experiences...
Because of limited interaction, or interaction in a club enviroment is completely different than contacting via these sites.. it makes some people .. well .. ignorant.
But let me re itterate what I said.. Just because they arent polite or understanding, doesnt mean that should change how you go about your usual ...
NO MEANS NO
Despite all the people out there that CAN be rude, or get upset with rejection, Please DON'T let thier personality faults change ANYONE from being courtesy.
We have been on both ends of the spectrum, as I am sure there are plenty of people out there that have been too...
Letting someone else ruin your day because they can't handle rejection well, isnt supposed to be your problem.
To the couple that were called racist.. its no different than if you were called any number of other things.. Only you know you, and just because they ...
To quote Jack Nicholson...
"CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH"
Doesnt mean you are anything but what YOU say you are..
Personal Choice, What people are into, what you AREN'T into, all go into deciding..
Unfortunately, this is a sad factor that has arisen, when a couple, young or old, have either not had many experiences, or have only ON SITE CLUB experiences...
Because of limited interaction, or interaction in a club enviroment is completely different than contacting via these sites.. it makes some people .. well .. ignorant.
But let me re itterate what I said.. Just because they arent polite or understanding, doesnt mean that should change how you go about your usual ...
We just tell them we would love to get together as soon as the genital warts go into remission, that tends to take care of that lol
<style type="text/css"> #donald a:link text-decoration: underline; color: #000000 !important; #donald a:visitedtext-decoration: underline; color: #4e6dab !important; .div1background-color:#000000 !important; width: 600px; height: 425px; position: relative; left: 0px; top: 0px; .addresseeposition: relative; left: 175 px; top: 20px; color:#384a5e; font-family: impact !important; font-size: 14pt; .maintxtcolor:#384a5e; font-family: arial !important; font-size: 10pt; text-align: justify; padding: 8px; width: 395px; height: 325px; position:relative; left: 170px; top: 30px; overflow: auto; text-indent: 1.5em; scrollbar-arrow-color:000000;scrollbar-Track-Color:384a5e;scrollbar-Highlight-Color:8395a9;scrollbar-base-color:13181e;scrollbar-Face-Color:516e8e;scrollbar-Shadow-Color:293645;scrollbar-DarkShadow-Color:13181e;</style><script>document.write('<div class="div1" style="background-image: url(ht'+'tp://img95.imageshack.us/img95/235/newbackvw1.jpg) !important">');</script><p id="donald" class="addressee">UTAH,</p><p id="donald" class="maintxt"><script>document.write('<style type="text/css"> .div1, .maintxt, .addresseecursor: url(ht'+'tp://ww'+'w.layoutmyspacecodes.com/graphics/cursors/animated/blue_lightning.a'+'ni);</style>');</script>
HAHAHAHA!
<b>Everyone Else,</b>
This is why we choose not to bother writing when we are not interested. We treat this like fishing. You wouldn't expect a fish to jump out of the water and tell you why it won't take your bait. If you do, you are a shoulder-biting waterhead and should take a ball-peen hammer to your genitals, as to prevent your stupidity from further contaminating the world.
What you should do, when searching here, is expect that not everyone will "bite" on what you are throwing out there. Know that any restrictions you may have in your profile will shut doors. Is that a problem for us? No, because I don't care if some short-sighted, shallow or "quantity over quality" couple ignore us because they're too busy trying to fuck every C.H.U.D. they can, to scratch up their bed post with notches and post a bunch of meaningless and tasteless "trophy" pics in their profile.
Don't get me wrong. If that is your idea of swinging and it satisfies you... Go for it. It just doesn't jive with us. So it really isn't either of our losses. We can simply go about our days with absolutely no awkwardness.
The truth is... There are those couples that need closure. They need an explanation because they can't deal with rejection. There will always be two sides to this. We just happen to think that no reply is required whether it's incoming or outgoing. A non-response is a pretty good indicator and we don't find it rude. When someone doesn't respond to us, I've already forgotten them. What the fuck do I care about what a stranger thinks and if their choice was shallow and assholish, that's their problem not mind and I would prefer not to expose myself to such delusional ass clowns. That's where I currently reside on the graph of "to fuck or not to fuck".
<br>
<br>
-Don-
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HAHAHAHA!
<b>Everyone Else,</b>
This is why we choose not to bother writing when we are not interested. We treat this like fishing. You wouldn't expect a fish to jump out of the water and tell you why it won't take your bait. If you do, you are a shoulder-biting waterhead and should take a ball-peen hammer to your genitals, as to prevent your stupidity from further contaminating the world.
What you should do, when searching here, is expect that not everyone will "bite" on what you are throwing out there. Know that any restrictions you may have in your profile will shut doors. Is that a problem for us? No, because I don't care if some short-sighted, shallow or "quantity over quality" couple ignore us because they're too busy trying to fuck every C.H.U.D. they can, to scratch up their bed post with notches and post a bunch of meaningless and tasteless "trophy" pics in their profile.
Don't get me wrong. If that is your idea of swinging and it satisfies you... Go for it. It just doesn't jive with us. So it really isn't either of our losses. We can simply go about our days with absolutely no awkwardness.
The truth is... There are those couples that need closure. They need an explanation because they can't deal with rejection. There will always be two sides to this. We just happen to think that no reply is required whether it's incoming or outgoing. A non-response is a pretty good indicator and we don't find it rude. When someone doesn't respond to us, I've already forgotten them. What the fuck do I care about what a stranger thinks and if their choice was shallow and assholish, that's their problem not mind and I would prefer not to expose myself to such delusional ass clowns. That's where I currently reside on the graph of "to fuck or not to fuck".
<br>
<br>
-Don-
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I think if someone is not answering and you see that they've read your email, you can look right in your send box to see if it's been read, and they're not interested, it's a good indicator that they're not interested. Why do you need the affirmation in writing? If a person takes silent rejection personal, who's issue is it? I think it's the insecure person's issue and not the rejector. As I said, there are always going to be both types of people. So if that is true, who should get a thicker skin and learn to cope? That's the way I look at it. I know it sounds harsh, but nonetheless true.
<br>
<br>
-Don-
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I think if someone is not answering and you see that they've read your email, you can look right in your send box to see if it's been read, and they're not interested, it's a good indicator that they're not interested. Why do you need the affirmation in writing? If a person takes silent rejection personal, who's issue is it? I think it's the insecure person's issue and not the rejector. As I said, there are always going to be both types of people. So if that is true, who should get a thicker skin and learn to cope? That's the way I look at it. I know it sounds harsh, but nonetheless true.
<br>
<br>
-Don-
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Morning all.
Tough situation. We try to respond to people as well...although, losing email doesn't help (email upgrade!)
I think we've just given up on responses when we're not interested. For one thing, people tend to look/act/feel a bit different in person. There have been times when we haven't been interested in the people on the profile, but really connected in person. Another reason is simply rejection...some don't handle it well (as you've found out).
We're pretty open to any and all types and are pretty direct if the need arises.
I'd say just put them on ignore and move on.
-K_T
Tough situation. We try to respond to people as well...although, losing email doesn't help (email upgrade!)
I think we've just given up on responses when we're not interested. For one thing, people tend to look/act/feel a bit different in person. There have been times when we haven't been interested in the people on the profile, but really connected in person. Another reason is simply rejection...some don't handle it well (as you've found out).
We're pretty open to any and all types and are pretty direct if the need arises.
I'd say just put them on ignore and move on.
-K_T
We just have a difference in perspective that is all. I do not view it as discourteous or "rude" or lacking respect, if someone doesn't reply to my email. What purpose does it serve to hear a verbal or written form of the rejection, other than to delay the inevitable and make it akward.
If I do not reply to you and you move on, there is no love lost. However, (hypothetically) if I write you and tell you that I am not interested because I find you unattractive and too old, what purpose does that serve? Perhaps if I just say, "Sorry not interested." How is that any more closure or courteous? There is no rudeness in a non-response. No more than you not writing the local Mormon church when you get their invites in the mail to attend their church in the mail and you do not write a letter back to explain. Anyway, I think it's just a matter of perspective and if you choose to take offense when none is meant, that is on you. Know what I mean?
-D-
If I do not reply to you and you move on, there is no love lost. However, (hypothetically) if I write you and tell you that I am not interested because I find you unattractive and too old, what purpose does that serve? Perhaps if I just say, "Sorry not interested." How is that any more closure or courteous? There is no rudeness in a non-response. No more than you not writing the local Mormon church when you get their invites in the mail to attend their church in the mail and you do not write a letter back to explain. Anyway, I think it's just a matter of perspective and if you choose to take offense when none is meant, that is on you. Know what I mean?
-D-
Just like everyone else pretty much said, that if you chose not to be interested and you reply,that to them and they cop an attitude about it then you made the right descission. Your choices and preferences are just that and you owe nobody a reason to why. They need to be happy that you took the time to reply to them at all. I try to always reply weather it is we are very interested or that we are not but you can never have to many friends, that is how we look at it . We have met alot of very cool people that we would love to just get down right get nasty with and others that we like to just hang and party with.
So just tune it out dont let it get to you it is not worth the time and missory and move on. There is far to many good people out there and a few shitty ones chances are you would not even want to be around somebody that is going to take your choice as being nothing more than not your type. sighned dandj
So just tune it out dont let it get to you it is not worth the time and missory and move on. There is far to many good people out there and a few shitty ones chances are you would not even want to be around somebody that is going to take your choice as being nothing more than not your type. sighned dandj