My wife and I have been swingers for a while but she is not playing for at this time. She still attends parties with me and nude swims and such. She will goto meet/greets with me to assure all concerned that i am honest about our understanding. I changed my profile to reflect this and it has been since she stopped in January with not outside playtime for me.
I know the world of swinging is a challenge for the single guy and I expected to find less playfriends but I thought that with a full disclosure of the honest situation would have attracted some that appreciate those that don
I know the world of swinging is a challenge for the single guy and I expected to find less playfriends but I thought that with a full disclosure of the honest situation would have attracted some that appreciate those that don
I think this is tricky.
I can tell you how we choose to deal with men in your situation. If a male approaches us under the pretense of being able to go on his own, we simply ask to meet with both man and woman, even if there's no play with the other half of the couple.
This clears up any questions of honesty.
To date? None of the males we've proposed this to have been willing to accept.
-K_T
I can tell you how we choose to deal with men in your situation. If a male approaches us under the pretense of being able to go on his own, we simply ask to meet with both man and woman, even if there's no play with the other half of the couple.
This clears up any questions of honesty.
To date? None of the males we've proposed this to have been willing to accept.
-K_T
I experienced the same thing when I moved away from my girlfriend.
I think people just don't want to get involved with anything complicated and they find it easier to believe a guy will cheat than a convoluted, true story.
A neglected husband may be better because they can try to bring the wife in or if you start being trouble they can drop you like the disloyal person they see you as. A knowingly abstaining partner, though, seems like it could cause more trouble for a couple that any single male is worth, especially with such ample supply.
I chocked it up to my girlfriend being hot and that she was what they really wanted. (That's what I told her, anyway). I think the truth of it is that being a couple shows a level of maturity, respect and understanding that is key to the trust involved in swinging. Well, yes, that and she is hot.
I think people just don't want to get involved with anything complicated and they find it easier to believe a guy will cheat than a convoluted, true story.
A neglected husband may be better because they can try to bring the wife in or if you start being trouble they can drop you like the disloyal person they see you as. A knowingly abstaining partner, though, seems like it could cause more trouble for a couple that any single male is worth, especially with such ample supply.
I chocked it up to my girlfriend being hot and that she was what they really wanted. (That's what I told her, anyway). I think the truth of it is that being a couple shows a level of maturity, respect and understanding that is key to the trust involved in swinging. Well, yes, that and she is hot.
We meet couples only. This means committed couples and not if you come with some girl and say "Well, my wife doesn't play but me and this girl hooked up to be a couple.". Now, if we have played for a while and the girl suddenly lost interest, that might be different. Still it does raise a few questions though. Last thing we want is to become part of a martial dispute. Yes, the wife can come along and say whatever she wants. However, if she changes her mind later on, it could be a problem and we could get dragged into it. As such, if you are not a committed couple, we'll probably pass on you even if you are hot as hell. This goes for both males and females. We'd turn down a female who says she is single too because it is hard to know if she is or not. We played with one way back when and later found out she was in a bad relationship. So, the general rule is if you are not a committed couple, no thanx. If you just started dating 6 months ago, pass. After a couple of years, we have no problems.
This sucks and is good at the same time. I definitely understand the couples only thing, we were like that for a while and I have to admit I got real turned on watching the husband and my wife and also knowing that he is watching his wife and I. And it also assured me that they were real swingers.
I guess it is one of those lifestyle lessons. The part that sucks is that this time it is honestly a legit situation but too many cheaters and drama queens of the past have jaded most of us, including myself, in many ways
I guess it is one of those lifestyle lessons. The part that sucks is that this time it is honestly a legit situation but too many cheaters and drama queens of the past have jaded most of us, including myself, in many ways
Years ago, we met a couple, that wasnt married, but living together. We all became great friends and enjoy plenty of erotic times together. Then the problems between them started over nothing to do with what we were all doing together.
We were respectful of our friends and told them we were stepping back and allowing them to work thru their issues. Unfortunately, this only led to dropping out of touch, and finally losing touch with them entirely.
As it turns out the issues were coming from the fact that the guy.. was lying to his girlfriend, and to us.. He had made dates and went off to play, as a solo bi male, and never let any of us know. She ( the girlfriend) didnt tell us this until a few months later during one of the last conversations we had together. She failed to tell us, because she didnt have any concrete proof until she found his Bi ID signed on thier computer.
As you can well imagine there was a great feeling of betrayal, for her and us. They worked thru their problems as far as we know, and the very last time we spoke, was troubling at best.. Despite knowing our "rules" they invited Bob to come up for a 3some.. as you can well imagine the ALARM BELLS were sounding, and it didnt happen..
So, whats the point of my post... its simply this.. If you are playing as a solo with your Wife/Girlfriend/Fiancee 's permission.. Fine... But be honest on both profiles and in ANY communication. Let any potenial playmates know exactly where the bear shit in the buckwheat, and if they still decide its cool.. great.. If they decide they arent interested, they will have more respect for you, because of your honesty.
We were respectful of our friends and told them we were stepping back and allowing them to work thru their issues. Unfortunately, this only led to dropping out of touch, and finally losing touch with them entirely.
As it turns out the issues were coming from the fact that the guy.. was lying to his girlfriend, and to us.. He had made dates and went off to play, as a solo bi male, and never let any of us know. She ( the girlfriend) didnt tell us this until a few months later during one of the last conversations we had together. She failed to tell us, because she didnt have any concrete proof until she found his Bi ID signed on thier computer.
As you can well imagine there was a great feeling of betrayal, for her and us. They worked thru their problems as far as we know, and the very last time we spoke, was troubling at best.. Despite knowing our "rules" they invited Bob to come up for a 3some.. as you can well imagine the ALARM BELLS were sounding, and it didnt happen..
So, whats the point of my post... its simply this.. If you are playing as a solo with your Wife/Girlfriend/Fiancee 's permission.. Fine... But be honest on both profiles and in ANY communication. Let any potenial playmates know exactly where the bear shit in the buckwheat, and if they still decide its cool.. great.. If they decide they arent interested, they will have more respect for you, because of your honesty.
Somebody made a god point. How does one know if the lady, presented as the wife is, in fact, his wife? Do you present your drivers license and or marriage certificate? How many times did you go to a party and find that everyone at the party was married, but not to each other... We have... but these prople were honest when asked... We walked into the hotel room and there were 7 people there. Something triggered the question; "Are any of you married? The surprising answer was; ..." yes we are but not to each other". We knew one of the people and he was the one who invited us. We went out to eat whit him and found the others there and we had a good time but when we went to the hotel.... The buzzer went off. I guess the point here is, you never know, unless you ask if acouple is married or just.....and you never know if you are really getting a straight answer unless they have proof of the marriage.. So even when you swing with a married couple, Are they married to each other.
Most the responses here are about people having bad experiences with others that lie or do not respect the rules of the game or of their partners. that tells me most are concerned about the honesty of the person and even such as myself suffer for it... well all i can say is that sucks .. or "doesn't suck" as the case is....
the most important thing about this game is to respect all the rules established by popular agreement as well as ALL the rules established by partners.
As I tell people that don't know the details of swinging.
Swinging is ADVANCED relationship. It is very easy to follow the rule "NO" "DON'T LOOK" " DON'T TOUCH" BE FAITHFUL" "YOU ONLY HAVE SEX WITH YOUR PARTNER"
In SWINGING you have to trust your partner to follow all established rules and to trust that they will be able to sex someone else and not betray the emotional side of your relationship. you have to have such a strong relationship that you and your partner are not tempted to break the rules and trust is paramount. Now that is truly and advanced commitment to another person.
Well i can only say i feel like the luckiest guy in the world to have a relationship that is so comfortable and honest that there are no concerns of this nature between my wife and I.
I AM ALWAYS LOOKING FOR THE EVER ILLUSIVE PLAYFRIENDS
the most important thing about this game is to respect all the rules established by popular agreement as well as ALL the rules established by partners.
As I tell people that don't know the details of swinging.
Swinging is ADVANCED relationship. It is very easy to follow the rule "NO" "DON'T LOOK" " DON'T TOUCH" BE FAITHFUL" "YOU ONLY HAVE SEX WITH YOUR PARTNER"
In SWINGING you have to trust your partner to follow all established rules and to trust that they will be able to sex someone else and not betray the emotional side of your relationship. you have to have such a strong relationship that you and your partner are not tempted to break the rules and trust is paramount. Now that is truly and advanced commitment to another person.
Well i can only say i feel like the luckiest guy in the world to have a relationship that is so comfortable and honest that there are no concerns of this nature between my wife and I.
I AM ALWAYS LOOKING FOR THE EVER ILLUSIVE PLAYFRIENDS
I have one question. If you are playing alone, why post her sexy pics?
It seems to me that most swingers (not all) don't look at the profile first. They go straight for the pics. That way they don't waist time reading a profile if they are not attracted to the swingers in question. Am guilty of such a thing and am honest enough to say it. I go straight for the pics...
another thing if your wife allows it why not post that you are a married man lacking of attention, it worked before. It wife trust you enough, why not help you on your desires. To me posting her pics, if you are looking for your self, is like OK we are in a relationship but there is no trust you have to post the my pics on there so every one knows your mine..........Hey it's just my opinion...not trying to offend any one or be rude
It seems to me that most swingers (not all) don't look at the profile first. They go straight for the pics. That way they don't waist time reading a profile if they are not attracted to the swingers in question. Am guilty of such a thing and am honest enough to say it. I go straight for the pics...
another thing if your wife allows it why not post that you are a married man lacking of attention, it worked before. It wife trust you enough, why not help you on your desires. To me posting her pics, if you are looking for your self, is like OK we are in a relationship but there is no trust you have to post the my pics on there so every one knows your mine..........Hey it's just my opinion...not trying to offend any one or be rude