Swingers on Swingular - Swingers Forum

Many blame the issues with youth today, on the absence of corporal punishment and stiffer consequences than "time out". Do you think it was a mistake for American Society to shun it? How many of you think that it should be reintroduced. How many think that government has to much power in the home? Are we reliant upon the "Dr. Phils" and "Dr. Spocks" to tell us how to raise are children? We are still waiting for a positive result to happen from them taking it away. All we see is a decline. So we've seen that the current way is worse. What do we do now?

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I wonder if the neighbor or family member in the next room is ok.

-D-

well it work for us when we were young and we believe that we are just fine.
we feel that it is why there is so much trouble with kids today.
and yes the govt has invaded our home to much.

It depends. What are you beating them for? Because you got drunk and the spouse ragged on you and you need to take it out on somebody? Or because you have done everything else you can and it hasn't worked and beating the kid is the next best thing to identifying the kid in a body bag? It is all different. If you are punishing a kid because he did something really bad, sure. If not, probably not.

Put it another way, if you wanted to talk to me (him) today and Dad didn't spank me a few times, you might have to go thru John Edwards to get my thoughts. Think something like downtown Chicago and think of a 8 yo on a bicycle riding on the road to someplace miles away. That was the final straw before Dad beat me.

To put it in perspective, I read of kids getting drowned in deep drains. Not believing it, I played in such a drain during a rainstorm. Got swept away and almost killed. Did I listen to warnings? Probably not. Did the spanking wake me up? You bet. Both behaviors were stopped.

Wolfrider. I don't blame the govt so much for this. You see, they are only acting on the advice of "experts". The people in the psychology and psychiatry fields.

Well put Rose. I on the other hand do believe in spanking a child for discipline reasons. There is a differance in a spanking and abuse. I grew up just fine with all the spanking I had and I never disrespected my elders like the kids are doing today. Bring it back and get our kids on the right track to live in today's world,not in the world where they think they deserve the right to everything.

BEAT THAT MONKEY ASS!!!!!!!!

I believe it is not so much the lack of spanking, but the increase in shit (x-box, PS, PS2, WII, etc) that causes these problems...This asshole on that movie is famous now...When I was a kid, my father would have been famous for having to perform the firt pistolectomy, three times in a row, one for me, one for the ass i was talking to, and one for the jerk running the camera...then of course, there would be consequences for whoever knew I had the pistol and shit...OMFG...the house would suffer...BUT would never have happened...We knew what guns were, what they were for, and what NOT to do with them...

Anyway...I do not have kids for 2 reasons: 1.) luck 2.) because I KNOW I would end up in jail for beating their asses.

Just this asshole's opinion

I don't recall being spanked much as a child and certainly no "beatings", but I do remember having a lot more respect for my parents and other elders than kids do today. I'm not sure why that is. The respect just seemed natural.

I remember my grandmother had a wooden paddle that she kept on the back porch. I can't recall her ever using it, but the threat alone seemed to be enough.

I didn't spank my kids much either, and they turned out ok. I am not against spanking, but beatings are a whole other story. Spankings are more embarrrassment than pain, I think. Beatings are outright violence. I did know some kids when I was growing up that got "beatings", and they turned out worse than most I knew. I think when it turns from simple loving correction (spanking) to violence (beatings), it teaches violence and dis-respect. I remember one spanking from my mother, and knew at the time that it hurt her more than me. I respected that and knew that I must have really been bad for her to do that. I never pushed the envelope that far again. It made me feel bad. A "beating" would have made me mad, I think.

You could be correct. I think at 6 seconds the slide looks like it's back.

We only used spanking when our children were very young and it was a way to reinforce their not engaging in dangerous activities. For example, it does little good to try to rationalize with a 2 years as to why he shouldnt stick a fork into the power outlet...but spanking when he reached for an outlet was a very basic for of negative reinforcement.

However, as our children grew, so did their minds and the mutual ability to relate. We chose, because we were among the "spanked like hell" generation, not to engage in that. Must have done something right, our children (not so much kids anymore) are very respectful of others and have the added benefit of having freethought and the ability to express themselves without fear. This wasnt Dr Phil crap, just basic people relation practices.

As far as government intrusion. Not sure if it applies here, but we definitely think the government has too much intrusion into the home--should be limited to clear cases of child abuse.

B&B

Federal Goverment and Local Goverment has way to much control as to what happens in our own homes. Kids these days have no sence of responablity or morals, many are very disrectfull and just need a plain ass whooping, why 2 weeks ago I had a 10 yr old flip me a gang bang sign meaning he was going to kill me, when I confrunted the kid and told him to take me to his Father so I could kick his ass (the Father) he almost cried. He had no idea what he had done. As for that kid fireing the weapon in the house? It was real and if that was my son hed be in sooooooooooooo much trouble! I dont mean to say we need to beat our kids but we surely need to take more control of our kids as parnets and get these little shits onto the right path.....I never had a single problem in school, who in our generation took a gun to school?.....Last I remember it was all fist to fist.....Now days you never know when your child maynot be coming home from school cause some little ass got his Fathers gun or bought one from some punk on the street......To many kids killing kids, War in our back yards cause the local goverment would rather arrest some parnet for trying to straighten out thier kid then taken the kid whos out of control to jail......Next thing you know kids will be walking into Churchs killing ppl cause they are have mental issues with the preist or what have you.....Corpal Punishment needs to come back into the homes as long its not taken to extream side......

And Dr Phil needs to shut his pie hole up. Dr Spook never had kids so what the fuck does he know and Dr Ruth ewwwwwwwwwwww shes just plain sick!

My .02 cents

~Dave~

I find it disgusting that the government wants to tie our hands and not let us punish our children but when they mess up we as the parents are held accountable. I have no problem with accountability as long as I'm given the oportunity to controll the situation. I understand the need to protect kids against abuse but abuse only exists because we as a society tolerate it. Instead of an abusive father getting counseling he should get an ass beating himself with the understanding his actions will not be tolerated. Instead we choose to punish all honest good parents along with this guy by stripping them of their authority to disipline their children.

I know I'm probably being preceived as a wife and child beater by now but rest assured that have not and never will raise a hand to my wife or any woman, and of my 3 grown children I have only had to dole out a total of 2 spankings, I guess the one learned from the others mistakes.

In response to a question asked in one of the first comments as to what do we do now... I fear it is probably to late but the answer would be to get back to individual accountability instead of trying to fix every problem with a blanket solution.

There is no longer any real negative reaction for kids to experience when they act out. Grounding them does not work as they text message on their phones and go online on their computers. They see that Principals and teachers have no real authority to discipline in any meaningful way. The concept that schools have parental status when a child is in school is gone. Kids sue over grades, what ever would they do if corporeal punishment reared its head?

A portion, perhaps as much as half, of the blame goes to the parents. They don't want anyone telling their "precious angel" what to do or how to act. If a kid gets in trouble for fighting or creating an unsafe environment the parents sue the school. And many parents are so afraid of what their kids might do if punished physically that they yield their authority to their children.

Gone are the days when a child who did wrong paid a price for doing wrong, and now kids know that nothing will really happen. Kids don't fear the consequences for their actions because seldom are there any consequences of significance.

Kip Kinkle, who shot his parents, then went to school and shot a teacher and a student, thinks he was mistreated at his trial and wants a new one. He probably won't get it but there are many who side with him. We live in a society where people are given free passes because they are old, or because they are women, or because they "had to be crazy" or the victim was a mean abusive person who is found guilty of abuse even after death. It is time people took responsibility for their actions and that society at large hold people responsible for their bad acts.

Remember the boy who was canned in Singapore for vandalizing cars? Wonder how many cars he has vandalized since.

we live in an age where all kids atleast most have no respect for anything including them selves. we live in s socioty that we greated we are a sue happy pepole. when you can sue mcdonald for millions for spealing hot coffee on you dumb ass somethings wrong we all need to open our eyes i fear its to late. ask your self if you have needed to dicipine your kid in publice and didn't because you were afraid that the nosie on lookers would call the cops on you for abuse i know i have so you say you will do it when you get home but 9 times out 0f 10 you forget and your kid never learns or understands he did anything wrong. just my two sence sorry for the bad spelling

I have always believed in spanking. I was spanked and spanked my children when they needed it. I did not beat them. I used only enough force to inflict pain without injuring them. I did not spank them when I was angry. If I were angry, I waited until I got control before administering punishment. Besides, I found that waiting and letting them dread the punishment was much more effective. No one should ever beat their children, but a good spanking never hurts them. Not long, anyway.

It all boils down to this whole idea of "political correctness" where everyone wins, everyone plays, everyone gets a trophy. It is a ludicrous idea.

In school (college, economics classes) we read studies about how the whole political correctness has gone overboard and is now affecting the American economy as a whole. Kids come out of school expecting to make six figures, have an expense account, and not actually have to work. Why, because they have the same degree as dad and work in the same department (although maybe not for the same company), and that is what dad makes...so why not me? I deserve it. What the kids fail to realize is that dad not only has that degree but he also has 30 years experience. The fresh kids from college cannot work alone, cannot be told they did not do something right, cannot be held accountable for when they screw up. Why? Because they never were told this before.

How many of you know about a 30 something couple who have a BMW, a kid or two, and live at one of the parents' home? It is NOT as uncommon as you would imagine. If you do not know at least one, you will see it soon. Many of the libs say it is due to the housing markets getting over heated and becoming too expensive to buy a home. Whatever happened to buying a condo, selling it after a few years, getting a larger one, THEN MAYBE getting a home, selling it, and moving up to the "american dream" type of home? Nope, that is not good enough...I WANT WHAT I WANT, AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!!! Is the mentality of these kids. Yes, I am speaking of the older kids, however, they were the kids that were not spanked, they were validated, they were allowed to play whether or not they made the team, the first round of these kids are now young adults. It will only get worse.

As to the whole gun at school thing. I went to school with MANY kids who took guns, HOWEVER, they were hunting rifles, shotguns, and the coup de grace pistols that are necessary in a hunter's arsenal. NOT the "gat" that these little pukes are now taking to school to "prove" they are tough.

I do not have kids, as stated earlier, but I do have 15 nieces and nephews. When those kids come to my home, which they LOVE to do, they behave, wash their hands after using the restroom, listen to what they are told, AND respect athority. My sisters, all five of them, often ask why their kids do that for me, but not at home, I reply, "It is simple, I tell them, if you want to come to my home, you will behave in a manner that is acceptable to me, if you do not, I will do three things: 1.) punish your inproper behavior. 2.) ensure that you will not be able to have the fun you come to my home for. 3.) not invite you to my home any longer. It only takes one time of one kid NOT being able to hang with "Cool Uncle Jim" while their siblings get to go, and they will "toe the line" from then on.

One thing that I do not understand, and I am unsure if all the explaining in the world will help me to understand is this, perhaps GG, you can attempt to explain it to me: Why would you try to reason with a child, or even a teen? Did your boss EVER tell you why you must do whatever you do the way you are told to do it? Did you ever question your boss' ability to give you your duties? Were you ever allowed to keep the job that you did that with? Perhaps I am in the wrong field, but I know that if I were constantly asking my boss, both present and previous, why I had to do it their way, I would be chronically (sp?) unemployed. Why would you want to set your child up to NOT be prepared for the real world, which, at least in my mind, is a parents job?

I always thought CAPITAL punishment was the death penalty, and CORPORAL punishment was beating...and I am for both, but much prefer the term discipline as opposed to beating, that to me connotates causing great physical harm...where some discipline can be just a whop on the ass....

GoodGenes,
I couldn't agree more.
When Mr. first moved into our lives he asked me why I felt the need to answer to my children. To that I simply stated that I do not feel a need to answer to them, I feel the need to explain to them why I do not want them to do something, or why I did want them to do something.
I was raised in a very strict household where you were just told don't do it because I said, well that just made me more curious as to why I couldn't. Curiosity drove me to drink and try drugs and sex all while still in my teens.
I was punished corporally, the belt or the strap, I feel it was useless to do that, I was perfectly capable of understanding why I shouldn't curse, steal, fight, etc. But no one gave me the opportunity to make the decision on my own. They just said don't do it.
I don't feel my parents prepared me for the real world, they sheltered me from it and when I got out on my own all those things, sex, alcohol, drugs, etc. were all around me and I didn't have a clue as to how to handle them. I learned about life the hard way.
I have taken a different approach with my own children, I explain the reasons behind why they should not take sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. to lightly, the reality of why they should wait until they are older to indulge in such things, the reality of "Big Boy Jail" of why other parents won't let there kids hang out with a "potty mouth," that sex causes babies, and STDs. They also know that people kill people with guns, they are not toys and should not be treated as such.
My oldest is turning 15, he has a 3.7 grade point average, very social adapted, and such a great kid, so far.
I pick my battles with my children, they can choose their clothes, music, games etc. but when its important I put my foot down, in retrospect they have very little to rebel against. They are happy, healthy, well adjusted kids. I couldn't be more proud. And I have never had to beat them with a belt to do it.
~K~

Swingers Forum - Corporal Punishment