OK, I have noticed, how could I not, that most of the profiles on this site are seeking single fems, and NOT single males. I have heard the single fem referred to as a "unicorn" and heard single males referred to as "Horn-dogs."
My question is WHY? What is the difference? Is there a difference? Is it because most women are Bi or Bi-curious? Or is this a problem with male jealousy?
We are seeking single males, and NO, believe it or not, not seeking single fems. (She is not bi and has no interest either) We have yet to run across disrespect from single males on this site,(knocking on wood!!) but have been hit up by single fems even though our profile does not say we are seeking them, (a form of disrespect to me.)
I have noticed as well that single fems are always welcome at parties and single males are not, again Why? Do you imagine that they do not understand that "NO MEANS NO"? Why does anyone care if there are single males at a party or not? Does it encroach on your ability to say no? We have yet to attend a real swinger party (soon soon soon!!) so just wondering if there is an entourage of single males if you allow them or what?
I think women are every bit as capable of being "horn-dogs" and if given the power you all give to them (untouchable) that they can do far worse with it then men. And every bit as capable of intruding on someones boundaries.
So I guess my question is what have I missed?
~K~
My question is WHY? What is the difference? Is there a difference? Is it because most women are Bi or Bi-curious? Or is this a problem with male jealousy?
We are seeking single males, and NO, believe it or not, not seeking single fems. (She is not bi and has no interest either) We have yet to run across disrespect from single males on this site,(knocking on wood!!) but have been hit up by single fems even though our profile does not say we are seeking them, (a form of disrespect to me.)
I have noticed as well that single fems are always welcome at parties and single males are not, again Why? Do you imagine that they do not understand that "NO MEANS NO"? Why does anyone care if there are single males at a party or not? Does it encroach on your ability to say no? We have yet to attend a real swinger party (soon soon soon!!) so just wondering if there is an entourage of single males if you allow them or what?
I think women are every bit as capable of being "horn-dogs" and if given the power you all give to them (untouchable) that they can do far worse with it then men. And every bit as capable of intruding on someones boundaries.
So I guess my question is what have I missed?
~K~
IF I may...
While I see your question as very valid, let me ask you this. And maybe you'll see my point.
You're at a party, be it swinger or vanilla, maybe its at a beach, or a lake, or maybe in a private club. Do you want to see a bunch of women running around in barely anything, and/or men running around in speedos, boxerbriefs, shorts? Would you rather the men keep their clothes on? Would you want the women to keep their clothes on?
I've been on two sides of this issue, mainly as a single male, but several times as a couple with different women.
As a single male, I am NOT welcome at most clubs (except for special days, or events), nor am I welcome at most swinger type events, be it a private party at a lake, house, hotel, or public park. Each couple has their own reasons for not being interested in single men, some have had bad experiences, some simply dont want another man period to play with the female half. The latter of the couples is usually just interested in girl girl action, or what they call soft swap.
As a couple, I didnt block single men from the picture, that is for the lady I'm with. IF she wants to experience another man fine, or not fine, in the lifestyle, many of the husbands or male half simply follow the female lead wishes. In some cases I do figure its male jealousy, in other cases it might be the lady isnt interested in other males.
For the most part, single women in the lifestyle have a buffet to choose from, and its up to them as to what they are hungry for.
Iron
While I see your question as very valid, let me ask you this. And maybe you'll see my point.
You're at a party, be it swinger or vanilla, maybe its at a beach, or a lake, or maybe in a private club. Do you want to see a bunch of women running around in barely anything, and/or men running around in speedos, boxerbriefs, shorts? Would you rather the men keep their clothes on? Would you want the women to keep their clothes on?
I've been on two sides of this issue, mainly as a single male, but several times as a couple with different women.
As a single male, I am NOT welcome at most clubs (except for special days, or events), nor am I welcome at most swinger type events, be it a private party at a lake, house, hotel, or public park. Each couple has their own reasons for not being interested in single men, some have had bad experiences, some simply dont want another man period to play with the female half. The latter of the couples is usually just interested in girl girl action, or what they call soft swap.
As a couple, I didnt block single men from the picture, that is for the lady I'm with. IF she wants to experience another man fine, or not fine, in the lifestyle, many of the husbands or male half simply follow the female lead wishes. In some cases I do figure its male jealousy, in other cases it might be the lady isnt interested in other males.
For the most part, single women in the lifestyle have a buffet to choose from, and its up to them as to what they are hungry for.
Iron
IRONHORSE,
Honestly, I love to see men running around half naked, every bit as much as my man loves to see women the same way. Lets all get naked!!!
T4,
Thanks, and kisses!
Honestly, I love to see men running around half naked, every bit as much as my man loves to see women the same way. Lets all get naked!!!
T4,
Thanks, and kisses!
CLASSY,
Thanks for your question. We absolutely agree! We are interested in single males, and we have found many more "pushy" females who assume there's a bi female in this couple (although there is nothing in the profile that indicates such). For those couples who aren't interested in single men, we respect that, but we don't think it should be an assumed preference--although, we have no illusions that we are going to change it.
Would we rather see scantily dressed women or men running around? Why is this an either/or question? Let 'em all strip!
We definitely prefer events where the standard for attendance is respect rather than gender and/or sexual preference/orientation.
B&B
Thanks for your question. We absolutely agree! We are interested in single males, and we have found many more "pushy" females who assume there's a bi female in this couple (although there is nothing in the profile that indicates such). For those couples who aren't interested in single men, we respect that, but we don't think it should be an assumed preference--although, we have no illusions that we are going to change it.
Would we rather see scantily dressed women or men running around? Why is this an either/or question? Let 'em all strip!
We definitely prefer events where the standard for attendance is respect rather than gender and/or sexual preference/orientation.
B&B
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For us, the answer comes simple. This like anything is a preference thing. A single female can serve to please both the male and the female of a couple, whereas if the single male would only benefit the female or males that derive a thrill from seeing there spouse with another guy strictly as a spectator, save the DP.
Most guys want to actively participate in the play. I for one, see nothing special or "unicornish" in a single female either. They are over rated in my opinion. We prefer couples. Singles by very definition would present an oddity in our idea of fun. We play together.
Are we saying that this works for everyone? No. We are just stating what works for us. There is no insecurity to it as some would imply, to guilt others into it. I think those tactics are despicable. I have heard that line used so many times that it sickens me. I think people know what they want. I let my wife decide what she wants, I have offered her whatever she desires and she expressed no interest in single guys. Just as I have no real interest in single women. Everything that can be accomplished with singles, can be accomplished with a couple. We see no need or desire for either. We will not scoff at making friends with anyone though.
<br>
<br>
-Don-</p></div>
For us, the answer comes simple. This like anything is a preference thing. A single female can serve to please both the male and the female of a couple, whereas if the single male would only benefit the female or males that derive a thrill from seeing there spouse with another guy strictly as a spectator, save the DP.
Most guys want to actively participate in the play. I for one, see nothing special or "unicornish" in a single female either. They are over rated in my opinion. We prefer couples. Singles by very definition would present an oddity in our idea of fun. We play together.
Are we saying that this works for everyone? No. We are just stating what works for us. There is no insecurity to it as some would imply, to guilt others into it. I think those tactics are despicable. I have heard that line used so many times that it sickens me. I think people know what they want. I let my wife decide what she wants, I have offered her whatever she desires and she expressed no interest in single guys. Just as I have no real interest in single women. Everything that can be accomplished with singles, can be accomplished with a couple. We see no need or desire for either. We will not scoff at making friends with anyone though.
<br>
<br>
-Don-</p></div>
I can say for myself Bi-Female I have a great man we have great sex. But like a lot of Bi Females we're looking for Bi-females. If you have a couple where both females are Bi then we're happy 2B-F, 2M math works for us. 2B-F, 1M math works. With 2M , 1B-F well the math does not work well.
That is how I feel not everyone has the same reason I'm sure.
That is how I feel not everyone has the same reason I'm sure.
As for my 2
would love to see the aggressive female.. i have been looking for just ONE that would like to come over and please my hubby, and me also but she would not be left out.. are there any women out there that would be willing to do this??????
Biggest difference? Not that I am a doctor or anything, but I think the biggest difference has to do with the shape and number of the naughty bits 
Checkitout
You left on combo out
#5. female/female couple
So this broadens the choices just a little.
My choices are #3 single female (open to becoming a couple), #4 male/female couple (the male half is straight and only wishes to watch, or double up on the lady) I know many women enjoy pleasing two men at one time. I would also choose #5 female/female couple (this is the hardest situation for a male to get into) Hell this is hard for a male/female couple to get into.
I also know there are many women out there who enjoy watching and joining in with two bi-sexual men, more if it can be aranged.
I wanted to join the swinger lifestyle while I was married, but the wife didnt want anything to do with it, as she put it, she didnt want to share me with anyone. Once the divorce was final (this is not why we divorced) I moved from central Indiana to Corpus Christi Texas, while there I was house sitting for friends when a sister and two lady friends showed up at midnight. I gathered pillows, and sheets for them, and proceeded to turn off all the lights, when the sister ask me who was sleeping with me? I ask if I had a choice, and the answer was yes, I could have all 3, so I said if that is true, then I want all 3, and if you're serious be naked when you hit the bedroom door. Needless to say I found myself in the livingroom saying *ok, time to put my money where my mouth is*, lets just say we didnt sleep and two of the ladies had fun with each other as we all played. That was my first multi partner experience. I happen to be in the right place at the right time, and got lucky. I never saw them again.
My guess on this thread is this, there is 100 single men for every one single female.
The other note I think is important, MANY UNICORNS HAVE A MALE HIDING WAITING FOR HER TO FIND ANOTHER SINGLE FEMALE. This means THEY ARE NOT SINGLE AND THEY ARE NOT UNICORNS!!!!!!!!! They are a couple faulsly advertising as a single female.
Let a single male post as a couple and he is band from the site.... once caught of course...
You left on combo out
#5. female/female couple
So this broadens the choices just a little.
My choices are #3 single female (open to becoming a couple), #4 male/female couple (the male half is straight and only wishes to watch, or double up on the lady) I know many women enjoy pleasing two men at one time. I would also choose #5 female/female couple (this is the hardest situation for a male to get into) Hell this is hard for a male/female couple to get into.
I also know there are many women out there who enjoy watching and joining in with two bi-sexual men, more if it can be aranged.
I wanted to join the swinger lifestyle while I was married, but the wife didnt want anything to do with it, as she put it, she didnt want to share me with anyone. Once the divorce was final (this is not why we divorced) I moved from central Indiana to Corpus Christi Texas, while there I was house sitting for friends when a sister and two lady friends showed up at midnight. I gathered pillows, and sheets for them, and proceeded to turn off all the lights, when the sister ask me who was sleeping with me? I ask if I had a choice, and the answer was yes, I could have all 3, so I said if that is true, then I want all 3, and if you're serious be naked when you hit the bedroom door. Needless to say I found myself in the livingroom saying *ok, time to put my money where my mouth is*, lets just say we didnt sleep and two of the ladies had fun with each other as we all played. That was my first multi partner experience. I happen to be in the right place at the right time, and got lucky. I never saw them again.
My guess on this thread is this, there is 100 single men for every one single female.
The other note I think is important, MANY UNICORNS HAVE A MALE HIDING WAITING FOR HER TO FIND ANOTHER SINGLE FEMALE. This means THEY ARE NOT SINGLE AND THEY ARE NOT UNICORNS!!!!!!!!! They are a couple faulsly advertising as a single female.
Let a single male post as a couple and he is band from the site.... once caught of course...
The big questions
Who are you hoping to have contact you and ask you to bet busy with them?
1. Do you want a Single Male, or
2. Do you want a Male/Male couple, or
3. Do you want a Single Female or
4. Do you want a Male/Female couple, or
5. Do you want a Female/Female couple to contact you?
Yes to all the above, even number 5. Just by definition it would be a long shot for number 5, but who knows, even bi ladies like to play once in a while.
Single male? Sure, why not? Male/Male couple? Sure, why not? Single female? Absolutely. Male/Female couple? Absolutely.
I've found that the exclusion of single men has only genesis: straight men are absolutely 100% afraid of bi or gay men, and of being considered bi or gay if they have sexual contact with another male. Men are also territorial and many do not want a SINGLE male in their swing for the simple matter of fear that the single male will upstage them in the size or performance department.
As for buttons to reject single men, it is very insulting. In the five months I've been here I have received about 20 emails from women living in Guatemala, Honduras and the Philippines. They all want a sexy, well-to-do male to save them from there miserable existence whereever they live. I'd love to have a button that would reject such emails.
There is no need to have such a thing other than to insult the single male. Any of us can reject any email with a simply click of the mouse. Like most stereotypes, that of the hunter single male who acts like a louse is founded in fear and has not real merit.
If the swinging lifestyle was actually open to all who what to participate there would be no restrictions on single males at parties and clubs.
Who are you hoping to have contact you and ask you to bet busy with them?
1. Do you want a Single Male, or
2. Do you want a Male/Male couple, or
3. Do you want a Single Female or
4. Do you want a Male/Female couple, or
5. Do you want a Female/Female couple to contact you?
Yes to all the above, even number 5. Just by definition it would be a long shot for number 5, but who knows, even bi ladies like to play once in a while.
Single male? Sure, why not? Male/Male couple? Sure, why not? Single female? Absolutely. Male/Female couple? Absolutely.
I've found that the exclusion of single men has only genesis: straight men are absolutely 100% afraid of bi or gay men, and of being considered bi or gay if they have sexual contact with another male. Men are also territorial and many do not want a SINGLE male in their swing for the simple matter of fear that the single male will upstage them in the size or performance department.
As for buttons to reject single men, it is very insulting. In the five months I've been here I have received about 20 emails from women living in Guatemala, Honduras and the Philippines. They all want a sexy, well-to-do male to save them from there miserable existence whereever they live. I'd love to have a button that would reject such emails.
There is no need to have such a thing other than to insult the single male. Any of us can reject any email with a simply click of the mouse. Like most stereotypes, that of the hunter single male who acts like a louse is founded in fear and has not real merit.
If the swinging lifestyle was actually open to all who what to participate there would be no restrictions on single males at parties and clubs.
Since it has been brought up several times here, let me add my cents worth... I have attended swingers(as a single male) meet where only a few selective single males were invite... we were ask to pay 70 buck to enter where a couple was 30 and single female 10... Oh did I mention that we had to wear glowing armbands? and could only approach a female with a glowing armband, unless other wise invited to join??? What got me was the part where 4 single females came in, and not one had an armband... so tell me... what the hell did I pay 70 bucks for??
To me its a rip off.. I think that if females come without a male than they should be fair game for everyone, just as the men should... No is No... and if there is only a selected single males then where would there be a problem???
The bottom line is... these meets don't want single males to be involved for some reason... hell, I've gotten laid a lot cheaper than what I paid to get into the meet... and that included dinner driving and the whole nine yards...lol
But whats the difference???
To me its a rip off.. I think that if females come without a male than they should be fair game for everyone, just as the men should... No is No... and if there is only a selected single males then where would there be a problem???
The bottom line is... these meets don't want single males to be involved for some reason... hell, I've gotten laid a lot cheaper than what I paid to get into the meet... and that included dinner driving and the whole nine yards...lol
But whats the difference???
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You are the fuckin model single man dude. I have to say, I agree with you totally. I think there are far more bi or bi-curious females and less males that want to just watch their wife with a single guy, and that is why single females are more popular. The question was posed why it is more widely accepted. I believe that to be the reason. There are far more people that are more compatible with the single female than the single male. I am in no way suggesting that it is wrong for anyone to want a single male. I think you should pursue what makes you happy.
For us (TR), we have narrowed down what we enjoy and it doesn't involve singles of either sex. We would never dream of assuming this is the best prescription for all couples. There are certain men that live to see their wife fucked by other men or another woman. I say to each their own. So please, do not think that I am saying there is a right and wrong to preference. As far as numbers go, I just think there are far more people looking for the single female, than a single male.
You are amongst a small group of single guys I would recommend to couples. You are a stand up guy, that is well spoken, smart and funny man. So know that I am on your side when it comes to one's pursuit of happiness. You have the right to want sex, like we all do. Your path is just a little narrower as a single male. If you ever get this way, I would happily try to hook you up with friends of ours that like single guys.
<br>
-Don-</p></div>
You are the fuckin model single man dude. I have to say, I agree with you totally. I think there are far more bi or bi-curious females and less males that want to just watch their wife with a single guy, and that is why single females are more popular. The question was posed why it is more widely accepted. I believe that to be the reason. There are far more people that are more compatible with the single female than the single male. I am in no way suggesting that it is wrong for anyone to want a single male. I think you should pursue what makes you happy.
For us (TR), we have narrowed down what we enjoy and it doesn't involve singles of either sex. We would never dream of assuming this is the best prescription for all couples. There are certain men that live to see their wife fucked by other men or another woman. I say to each their own. So please, do not think that I am saying there is a right and wrong to preference. As far as numbers go, I just think there are far more people looking for the single female, than a single male.
You are amongst a small group of single guys I would recommend to couples. You are a stand up guy, that is well spoken, smart and funny man. So know that I am on your side when it comes to one's pursuit of happiness. You have the right to want sex, like we all do. Your path is just a little narrower as a single male. If you ever get this way, I would happily try to hook you up with friends of ours that like single guys.
<br>
-Don-</p></div>
OK...
How many times do we have to beat the proverbial dead horse?
NOTHING in this thread is new, aside from one guy getting letters from Honduras or some other odd shit.
The reality of it is this: Single Men tend to be pushy, arrogant, looking to "fuck your wife like you wish you could," and other various piggish things, HOWEVER, there are those, T4REAL is among them, that are swingers...The problem is that there are MANY of the former, and FEW of the later.
Between the insecurity, the preferences, and the assholes, it makes for an uphill climb for a single male.
The best advice I can give single males is this: DO NOT FEED THE STEREOTYPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If the profile says, NO SINGLE MALES...don't write...you are NOT special...If they respond negatively, do NOT write back and ask why or make a snide remark....Just let it go...
IF you are reading a profile and it says, "WE WILL CONTACT YOU" let them contact you...Come on...The profile says that for a reason...
Now...On to the clubs...Someone stated that they paid $70 to get into a club, but got laid with dinner and all for less...Sorry, but that sounds like prostitution...NOTwhat the lifestyle is about...Why do they charge more for single men? because the single man will pay it...They do not run a club as a "Lets get single men layed charity" it is a business...the sole purpose of a business is to make money...That whole discussion is the EXACT reason so many couples say NO SINGLE MEN...What a prick...If I were you, I would delete that piece...You will NEVER get laid with that type of shit floating around here...
Another reason single men are so frowned upon, how many times have you seen a profile with nothing but a dick picture? OK>.....You ARE a male, we must assume you have one...Why not put something else on? If you read profiles, MOST say, "WE DO NOT NEED A COCK SHOT" only a few want to make sure the goods are good...so why would you post nothign but a cock shot? Then there is the angry inch guys...They have a turtle head and wanna advertise it...What the fuck is that? If you have a small dick, you can make up for it with personality and skill, HOWEVER, if you advertise it...No one will give you the chance...
OK...I think I am done with my rant...At least for now...
How many times do we have to beat the proverbial dead horse?
NOTHING in this thread is new, aside from one guy getting letters from Honduras or some other odd shit.
The reality of it is this: Single Men tend to be pushy, arrogant, looking to "fuck your wife like you wish you could," and other various piggish things, HOWEVER, there are those, T4REAL is among them, that are swingers...The problem is that there are MANY of the former, and FEW of the later.
Between the insecurity, the preferences, and the assholes, it makes for an uphill climb for a single male.
The best advice I can give single males is this: DO NOT FEED THE STEREOTYPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If the profile says, NO SINGLE MALES...don't write...you are NOT special...If they respond negatively, do NOT write back and ask why or make a snide remark....Just let it go...
IF you are reading a profile and it says, "WE WILL CONTACT YOU" let them contact you...Come on...The profile says that for a reason...
Now...On to the clubs...Someone stated that they paid $70 to get into a club, but got laid with dinner and all for less...Sorry, but that sounds like prostitution...NOTwhat the lifestyle is about...Why do they charge more for single men? because the single man will pay it...They do not run a club as a "Lets get single men layed charity" it is a business...the sole purpose of a business is to make money...That whole discussion is the EXACT reason so many couples say NO SINGLE MEN...What a prick...If I were you, I would delete that piece...You will NEVER get laid with that type of shit floating around here...
Another reason single men are so frowned upon, how many times have you seen a profile with nothing but a dick picture? OK>.....You ARE a male, we must assume you have one...Why not put something else on? If you read profiles, MOST say, "WE DO NOT NEED A COCK SHOT" only a few want to make sure the goods are good...so why would you post nothign but a cock shot? Then there is the angry inch guys...They have a turtle head and wanna advertise it...What the fuck is that? If you have a small dick, you can make up for it with personality and skill, HOWEVER, if you advertise it...No one will give you the chance...
OK...I think I am done with my rant...At least for now...
Classy
if you feel disrespected when a female hits on you because you do not say you looking for them,then imagine how another couple that does not advertise for males feels.I think there are a lot more males hitting on couples that way than females.but then how many times has a female just wrote to you with a line like this,i will fuck your wife while you watch,or in your case husband?As far as the club and party scene goes,try going to an on premise club on a night that allows men and you will see for yourself.we have a club down here in Fl.that is open from fri. morning till about 4 am sunday morning and every other day 9 am-4 am that allows single males except on sat.night.out by the pool and hot tub and the play rooms upstairs is nude only although most wear towels.to go on a sunday afternoon and then to be followed by just about all the men there gets to be rediculous.as too many of them are constantly playing with themselves.there is a couples only room with a door but to a lot of the single males it does not matter they still come barging in to try to join in or just to jack off.
Now i am not slamming single men we do play with them as well,but T4 would be an example of the type we would ask to join us not the ones who come asking with their dick in hand. i could go on but i think the pic is painted enough have a good day y'all
Phil
if you feel disrespected when a female hits on you because you do not say you looking for them,then imagine how another couple that does not advertise for males feels.I think there are a lot more males hitting on couples that way than females.but then how many times has a female just wrote to you with a line like this,i will fuck your wife while you watch,or in your case husband?As far as the club and party scene goes,try going to an on premise club on a night that allows men and you will see for yourself.we have a club down here in Fl.that is open from fri. morning till about 4 am sunday morning and every other day 9 am-4 am that allows single males except on sat.night.out by the pool and hot tub and the play rooms upstairs is nude only although most wear towels.to go on a sunday afternoon and then to be followed by just about all the men there gets to be rediculous.as too many of them are constantly playing with themselves.there is a couples only room with a door but to a lot of the single males it does not matter they still come barging in to try to join in or just to jack off.
Now i am not slamming single men we do play with them as well,but T4 would be an example of the type we would ask to join us not the ones who come asking with their dick in hand. i could go on but i think the pic is painted enough have a good day y'all
Phil
jstjim,
I guess i'm the prick you were talking about... and if you read the post you would have saw it said and the whole nine yards...it was a freaking statement.... so what you were saying is... I go have dinner, a movie and get laid..and its prositution?? What part of Florida did you say you were from?? i Think first part has got to be BUM FUCK...
Also, since you were on the subject... why didn't you comment on all the single females, that I was talking about? I am sure that they is alot of women out there that would appreciate a few more single men and a lot less single females... I am sure to some that it is nice to see females all over each other, but at the same time... I am pretty sure that they would like to see a few male & females getting it on too.... (and I am really sure that some females,seeing females all over each other, look at it like we do with two male getting it on...)
Another observation I made... you saw females getting it on, but yet not one word was said to them.... at the same time this other couple (male female) were getting it on and they were asked to take it to the room...
All I am trying to say is... why the double standards???
One more thing... I haven't had any problems in the lifestyle... and I have been very successful, and I have satified many of women... All I was doing was making a statement just like everyone else...
I guess i'm the prick you were talking about... and if you read the post you would have saw it said and the whole nine yards...it was a freaking statement.... so what you were saying is... I go have dinner, a movie and get laid..and its prositution?? What part of Florida did you say you were from?? i Think first part has got to be BUM FUCK...
Also, since you were on the subject... why didn't you comment on all the single females, that I was talking about? I am sure that they is alot of women out there that would appreciate a few more single men and a lot less single females... I am sure to some that it is nice to see females all over each other, but at the same time... I am pretty sure that they would like to see a few male & females getting it on too.... (and I am really sure that some females,seeing females all over each other, look at it like we do with two male getting it on...)
Another observation I made... you saw females getting it on, but yet not one word was said to them.... at the same time this other couple (male female) were getting it on and they were asked to take it to the room...
All I am trying to say is... why the double standards???
One more thing... I haven't had any problems in the lifestyle... and I have been very successful, and I have satified many of women... All I was doing was making a statement just like everyone else...
Ok this is a subject near and dear to me and my opinion is defintely going to ruffle some feathers to say the least. but here goes:
When a members of a society as enlightened as ours find existing within it the cancers of dicrimination and exclusion of an individual or group from lifestyle activities and events simply because of their relationship status it becomes necessary for that enlightned society to act in such a way as to remedy the situation. Those actions should be peaceful yet decisive in the way that they demonstrate to those harboring such cancerous prejudices that their action will not be tolerated.
Such actions used to remedy the situation would entail a simply tiered approach in which the individuals engaged in such impunities would be first counseled by others in the lifestyle. if that doesnt work then more direct measures would have to be employed such as public protests and picketing, having a group of single men and women show up en masse to events that do not expressly prohibit single men, civil legal action to ensure complance with state and federal laws regarding the equal protections act and state antidiscriminatory laws ( "private" clubs, according to the Florida Supreme Court and United States Supreme Court may still be subject to public access laws ).
The most extreme measure those in this lifestyle could do to rid a cancer such as this would be to simply shut the club down by boycoting it and making such a boycot publicly known throughout the lifestyle community.
that s my opinion and I appreciate you taking the time to read it.
Richard
When a members of a society as enlightened as ours find existing within it the cancers of dicrimination and exclusion of an individual or group from lifestyle activities and events simply because of their relationship status it becomes necessary for that enlightned society to act in such a way as to remedy the situation. Those actions should be peaceful yet decisive in the way that they demonstrate to those harboring such cancerous prejudices that their action will not be tolerated.
Such actions used to remedy the situation would entail a simply tiered approach in which the individuals engaged in such impunities would be first counseled by others in the lifestyle. if that doesnt work then more direct measures would have to be employed such as public protests and picketing, having a group of single men and women show up en masse to events that do not expressly prohibit single men, civil legal action to ensure complance with state and federal laws regarding the equal protections act and state antidiscriminatory laws ( "private" clubs, according to the Florida Supreme Court and United States Supreme Court may still be subject to public access laws ).
The most extreme measure those in this lifestyle could do to rid a cancer such as this would be to simply shut the club down by boycoting it and making such a boycot publicly known throughout the lifestyle community.
that s my opinion and I appreciate you taking the time to read it.
Richard
Yman,
You made some really valid points, (notice there was not response to it, can't attack it when you know someone is right.)
Crackerojack,
Welcome! love to see new faces! BTW your both way hot!
Also thanks for making my point, this has turned into a single male bashing session, and its was originated as "whats the difference?"
Why the double standard? (Also, NO I DO NOT want to see 2 fems going at it, YUCKY.)
Single females are in my opinion more pushy, more aggressive, and the bi ones have groped me more often and more aggressively then men. (not that I have not been groped by men) Its just Bi-fems don't even bother to find out if I'm gay or not, just grope me anyway. Personally I find it more offensive because I am not gay.
I have had single fems wait til my back is turned to approach my man, yes hes beautiful and highly approachable. Single men know the "MAN CODE" and would not (maybe out of fear of being hit) approach me knowing that I am with him, and yes I am beautiful and highly approachable as well.
Its a MAN CODE, taken is taken, stay away. Single women, NO CODE, I have literally asked a single fem to get off her knees and take her trashy self to the street where trash belongs when she hit the floor in front my man even though we were standing there together. A single guy would not go there.
*Keep in mind all above happenings were at open to the public clubs.*
My question is whats the difference? How is it that you can ASSUME that because someone is FEMALE that automatically she wouldn't disrespect you? That's my point, you assume a single MAN is going to disrespect you. That's at least a double standard, but also in my opinion, a lesson you may learn the hard way.
~K~
You made some really valid points, (notice there was not response to it, can't attack it when you know someone is right.)
Crackerojack,
Welcome! love to see new faces! BTW your both way hot!
Also thanks for making my point, this has turned into a single male bashing session, and its was originated as "whats the difference?"
Why the double standard? (Also, NO I DO NOT want to see 2 fems going at it, YUCKY.)
Single females are in my opinion more pushy, more aggressive, and the bi ones have groped me more often and more aggressively then men. (not that I have not been groped by men) Its just Bi-fems don't even bother to find out if I'm gay or not, just grope me anyway. Personally I find it more offensive because I am not gay.
I have had single fems wait til my back is turned to approach my man, yes hes beautiful and highly approachable. Single men know the "MAN CODE" and would not (maybe out of fear of being hit) approach me knowing that I am with him, and yes I am beautiful and highly approachable as well.
Its a MAN CODE, taken is taken, stay away. Single women, NO CODE, I have literally asked a single fem to get off her knees and take her trashy self to the street where trash belongs when she hit the floor in front my man even though we were standing there together. A single guy would not go there.
*Keep in mind all above happenings were at open to the public clubs.*
My question is whats the difference? How is it that you can ASSUME that because someone is FEMALE that automatically she wouldn't disrespect you? That's my point, you assume a single MAN is going to disrespect you. That's at least a double standard, but also in my opinion, a lesson you may learn the hard way.
~K~
so single guys won't go there!you mean to say that you have never had a guy come ask you to dance after mr classy has gone to the bar or maybe to the restroom?
CRACKER...
You are correct...Bum Fucked area...Not beautiful metropolis of Decatur TN...Where is that again? Oh yeah...Prolly right next to Bum Fucked in Florida...LOVE TN, no offense meant, hope none was taken...
As to the prostituion thing...you said how you paid that much for a club, and you could have gone out on a date instead to get laid...Well...To me, you were equating the lifestyle and a date to prostitution...You pay enough, you get to play...Perhaps I am a little sensative to that...Who knows...One never knows how your mother's profession will effect you (tongue firmly in cheek).
Anyway...Was not meant as an attack, a simple observation...Now back to your corner...and I'll go back to mine...There are far better things to fight about...LOL
Be well Cracker...Was not an attack on your person, moreso your words...
You are correct...Bum Fucked area...Not beautiful metropolis of Decatur TN...Where is that again? Oh yeah...Prolly right next to Bum Fucked in Florida...LOVE TN, no offense meant, hope none was taken...
As to the prostituion thing...you said how you paid that much for a club, and you could have gone out on a date instead to get laid...Well...To me, you were equating the lifestyle and a date to prostitution...You pay enough, you get to play...Perhaps I am a little sensative to that...Who knows...One never knows how your mother's profession will effect you (tongue firmly in cheek).
Anyway...Was not meant as an attack, a simple observation...Now back to your corner...and I'll go back to mine...There are far better things to fight about...LOL
Be well Cracker...Was not an attack on your person, moreso your words...
JSTJIM...
Ding Ding... well put my friend...lol
Good To meet you..
Ding Ding... well put my friend...lol
Good To meet you..
Highway,
No I'm not saying Men have not asked me to dance when the Mr isn't around, we have dance with who ever you wish rule, so dancing isn't an issue for us.
What I was saying was about the female planting herself firmly in front of my Mans genitals when I was standing right next to him, then acting shocked when I confronted her on how trashy it made her appear. No I don't believe I have ever had a man plant himself in front of my nether region while waiting for a taxi. Only a female could be so presumptuous as to believe that the female standing with this man in the taxi line must not be with him, or that she was somehow special enough that I wouldn't mind, or that she was just hot enough that he would drop the bitch he was with and take her home instead.
No can't say I have ever had a man behave that way, they usually come at me very cautiously because of the male fear of rejection. Men have a fear of women that women do not usually possess.
Swinger men tend to be extremely afraid of even flirting with me for fear I might freak and run, they are gentle and deliberate as to not spoil what could potentially lead to sex. I see this as a flaw, because I want a man that can make the first move, If I have to do the chasing it can be such a turn off.
Really, I am only trying to make the point that singles are the same, male or female, so why do the men take all the heat? Whats the difference?
~K~
No I'm not saying Men have not asked me to dance when the Mr isn't around, we have dance with who ever you wish rule, so dancing isn't an issue for us.
What I was saying was about the female planting herself firmly in front of my Mans genitals when I was standing right next to him, then acting shocked when I confronted her on how trashy it made her appear. No I don't believe I have ever had a man plant himself in front of my nether region while waiting for a taxi. Only a female could be so presumptuous as to believe that the female standing with this man in the taxi line must not be with him, or that she was somehow special enough that I wouldn't mind, or that she was just hot enough that he would drop the bitch he was with and take her home instead.
No can't say I have ever had a man behave that way, they usually come at me very cautiously because of the male fear of rejection. Men have a fear of women that women do not usually possess.
Swinger men tend to be extremely afraid of even flirting with me for fear I might freak and run, they are gentle and deliberate as to not spoil what could potentially lead to sex. I see this as a flaw, because I want a man that can make the first move, If I have to do the chasing it can be such a turn off.
Really, I am only trying to make the point that singles are the same, male or female, so why do the men take all the heat? Whats the difference?
~K~
Since 91, we have had numerous guys hit on us with the idea that "I have the cock that your wife craves". Yes, in a bar, it is a different story. What I am talking about is in the old swinger magazines and in the current internet ads. WTF? Our ad specifically says "IOS couples". I say I am looking for blue shirts. So why ask me if I want to buy a red shirt???? In all this time swinging, we have had one single female ask us and it was done politely so we turned her down politely. That we can understand because in this lifestyle, single females are hardly ever turned down. Had toms of men ask "I know your profile states you are looking for couples only....". WTF? You can read and you can't respect that? If you cannot read, how did you respond to this ad????
Further to that, we have had 2 single guys in the past. Reason we said single is because they came to a party with a "ticket". Both times, they have been jerks. So, that with the unsolicited mail, how would you expect us to treat a single male? The only exception we have made is with a certain couple where the girl is not interested in playing with us as a couple and the guy is. So far, he seems to be nice enough. First time we met, we played as a couple so we know they are a couple. Well, she isn't interested in Mr aklim. He is interested in Mrs Aklim and can play nice so we make an exception. Also, we have had a lot of "couples" turn out to be a single guy posing as a couple. Can you blame us for being skittish about single males?
Further to that, we have had 2 single guys in the past. Reason we said single is because they came to a party with a "ticket". Both times, they have been jerks. So, that with the unsolicited mail, how would you expect us to treat a single male? The only exception we have made is with a certain couple where the girl is not interested in playing with us as a couple and the guy is. So far, he seems to be nice enough. First time we met, we played as a couple so we know they are a couple. Well, she isn't interested in Mr aklim. He is interested in Mrs Aklim and can play nice so we make an exception. Also, we have had a lot of "couples" turn out to be a single guy posing as a couple. Can you blame us for being skittish about single males?
Classy
i think the main reason woman have done that and most men would never is fear of arrest.if a man reached out and grabbed you it would be sexual battery and he would be marked for the rest of his life.i only used dance as a way of being polite,my wife has had numerous men come up to her as i leave for a moment to hit on her for sex and when they see me returning they skamper off.my wife usually tells them they have to talk to me but they never do.now that tells me they are thinking that she will just go off with them and fuck and/or suck.some of them would have gotten invited had they asked both of us.we would treat a female the same way talk to us both or neither.
i think the main reason woman have done that and most men would never is fear of arrest.if a man reached out and grabbed you it would be sexual battery and he would be marked for the rest of his life.i only used dance as a way of being polite,my wife has had numerous men come up to her as i leave for a moment to hit on her for sex and when they see me returning they skamper off.my wife usually tells them they have to talk to me but they never do.now that tells me they are thinking that she will just go off with them and fuck and/or suck.some of them would have gotten invited had they asked both of us.we would treat a female the same way talk to us both or neither.
Wow - this is ONE hell of a thread!! I've read through it all and everyone makes very valid points. It isn't as simple as supply and demand - there are multiple factors including societies view of f/f bisexuality and m/m bisexuality, experiences and the like.
There will always be men and women who behave badly. It's unfortunate, but true. I agree with Richard here - we should police our own - and ban those that do - from all events, from the site. Period.
Truth be told
There will always be men and women who behave badly. It's unfortunate, but true. I agree with Richard here - we should police our own - and ban those that do - from all events, from the site. Period.
Truth be told
No difference to us. Swingles and swingles. And we're not interested.
Sorry to be bringing this one back up, but it took me too long to read the whole thread not to express myself! I also had a couple of recent experiences that have made me really think.
Hubby used to travel with his job and there were some occassions when I would go to a club alone to get out and be with our swinger friends. When I am a 'single female' at the clubs or gatherings I have felt very included and have a great time at the clubs and afterwards. At group sex gatherings there always seems to be men waiting, dare I say, for their 'turn' and an extra woman around never hurts. Now, I showed up recently at a party with a friend of mine, that is a girl, and truly expected , from all I've heard about single fems on this site, to have to beat people away, but that wasn't the case. Unicorn my ass! For a matter of fact I left that party feeling like a leper, only couples who already knew me approached me and the sex vibe just wasn't there. It almost seemed that the f/f couple scared people away, so much for all their talk! No wonder single women don't go to those events! btw, they charged us 'as a couple' not the cheaper single women price, just my beef...
I don't think there should be a difference between single men and women. It's sad that single men are portrayed as evil. I for one am on the side of the single men. Hooray for you for putting up with all the shit. At some level we're all the same and looking for the same gratifications, be they sexual or friendships etc. Why label them, it's a sad commentary on our unique society that we can be so open, yet still so closed.
Mrs. Curious
Hubby used to travel with his job and there were some occassions when I would go to a club alone to get out and be with our swinger friends. When I am a 'single female' at the clubs or gatherings I have felt very included and have a great time at the clubs and afterwards. At group sex gatherings there always seems to be men waiting, dare I say, for their 'turn' and an extra woman around never hurts. Now, I showed up recently at a party with a friend of mine, that is a girl, and truly expected , from all I've heard about single fems on this site, to have to beat people away, but that wasn't the case. Unicorn my ass! For a matter of fact I left that party feeling like a leper, only couples who already knew me approached me and the sex vibe just wasn't there. It almost seemed that the f/f couple scared people away, so much for all their talk! No wonder single women don't go to those events! btw, they charged us 'as a couple' not the cheaper single women price, just my beef...
I don't think there should be a difference between single men and women. It's sad that single men are portrayed as evil. I for one am on the side of the single men. Hooray for you for putting up with all the shit. At some level we're all the same and looking for the same gratifications, be they sexual or friendships etc. Why label them, it's a sad commentary on our unique society that we can be so open, yet still so closed.
Mrs. Curious
So....recently we attended our first swinger party, could have been the same party CN (wink wink)!!, I have to say I wasn't sure what to expect. I was surprised how reserved everyone was. It seemed like the men were all hiding behind their wives.
Anyway my point is, I'm on the dance floor, and here comes a single fem, she had to be 21 (barely), cute, thin, etc. She GROPED me!!!, hand on my crotch, fully rubbed me down, and I was just dancing, minding my own business. Hard to say whether she was trying to get to my Mr though me or if I am the "type" that Bi fems like, or maybe its just plain disrespect. Whichever it was she didn't bother to find out if I was Bi, she just groped me anyway.
I'm sure that is the reason they did not allow single males at the party, so they wouldn't get handsy, pushy, whatever. But with all the men hiding behind their wives I would have liked to have a single male to take back to our room.
Just thought I would share.
~K~
Anyway my point is, I'm on the dance floor, and here comes a single fem, she had to be 21 (barely), cute, thin, etc. She GROPED me!!!, hand on my crotch, fully rubbed me down, and I was just dancing, minding my own business. Hard to say whether she was trying to get to my Mr though me or if I am the "type" that Bi fems like, or maybe its just plain disrespect. Whichever it was she didn't bother to find out if I was Bi, she just groped me anyway.
I'm sure that is the reason they did not allow single males at the party, so they wouldn't get handsy, pushy, whatever. But with all the men hiding behind their wives I would have liked to have a single male to take back to our room.
Just thought I would share.
~K~
It's been my expirence that alot of clubs and clics in this life style. Won't let single men into thier groupd unless thoes men are homsexual and or Bi sexual. That isn't the case with females. Although I am sure that some women in this life style still get jealous of other women. It doesn't happen near as much as husbands getting jealous of single men. There was a fight at the bar I hang out in. Some girl owed her ex boyfriend 50 bucks cause she bought a bag of weed. He got pissed and started yelling at her. And to be honest there was nothing really going on. He was a 20 ft away from while he was bitching at her. But, then the cook and his asshole redneck friend. Jumped the guy. And while this was going on two lesbians about my age jumped the girl. While the cook and his gay friend were chasing away the guy. I pulled the lesbains off the girl. I heard feet pounding on the dirt parkinglot. And turned to see the asshole redneck charging me. I hit him a couple times before my feet slipped out of my sandles I tripped on the rocks and he tackled me. After everything was over, I explained to the cook the fight was about weed. Not because the guy was jealous. I went up there a week later. To have a beer. the cook came out of the kitchen and said to me I thought I made myself clear. I said what are you talking about? He said You ain't allowed in here no more. I said are you serious you don't want me here ever. I said ok I'll finish my beer and leave. Now you guys don't suppose that the real reason he had me kicked out is because of the way I flirt with his wife the bartender is it? Probably, infact I am almost sure it is.
I think that JUSTIN68 was trying to illustrate how insecure spouses can be when they believe that someone is flirting with their partner.
justin you were in a vanilla bar.of course men get jealous there and so do the women.you are comparing apples to green beans.
Classy i hope you set the girl straight about sexually molesting you.i've not seen that happen before but i have seen men grope my wife and they were immediately set straight about proper ettiquette.
Phil
Classy i hope you set the girl straight about sexually molesting you.i've not seen that happen before but i have seen men grope my wife and they were immediately set straight about proper ettiquette.
Phil
excellent topic for this site.... being single and male does present problems because of all the bad apples out there.... makes it tough for us "good guys"... i respect eveyone's opinion as this is a free country and we should all be thankful for that... so far, being single male, has not been fruitful on this site but i don't let it get me down or anything like that... it's like alot of u have said, it's a matter of choice.... doesn't that make it something worth having???? i say yes... i could say more but then i'd have to go back and forth between each comment... sufficet to say... to each their own and have respect for that. damn fat finger spelling....:z
We've never had a problem with anyone we've met -single males/females/couples
...but then, everyone is different...seems like just alot of drama to us.
...but then, everyone is different...seems like just alot of drama to us.
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I love that word "drama". People always say it as if they're some how above it. Yet, we are all afflicted by it.
<br>
-Don-</p></div>
I love that word "drama". People always say it as if they're some how above it. Yet, we are all afflicted by it.
<br>
-Don-</p></div>
I gotta disagree with that one...just have to be selective about your friends
Coming from the single male side of the house, and having been in the couples seeking single males position, I feel I can offer a bit of insight as to the difference of the single gender archtypes.
When my ex and I use to play as a couple, we made the mistake of setting our profile to show we were seeking single males. I say mistake because we were completely innundated by emails from single males after that. Rare and few were the messages from single females. That's problem number 1, there's a veritable sea of single men out there just itchin to get involved; and only scarce few single women. Basic economics, supply and demand.
Reading the emails is where we encountered the next problem. So common were the statements, "I'll do you better than your husband", "I'll do things to you that you wish your husband could do", "I'll show you what a real man can be like", "I'll warn you, after me, you wont want to be with your husband again". Besides the fact that every email was addressed to her as opposed to us, the teeming majority of them were dead set on lambasting me as her parter. Problem number 2, the majority of single males completely lack respect for the couple as a unit, and are only interested in either "one-upping" the male-half or getting off, and leaving.
Eventually, we decided to remove that we were looking for single men, and instead would just seek them out on an as desired basis. If you email a single male, you're pretty much guarenteed a response; where as it's rare that a single female will respond. There's problem number 3, single men are generally just begging for it, where the women tend to be very selective. The chase is exciting, and acts like something of a sexual primer. You enjoy more what you worked harder to get. (the counter point to this is that if a single man plays hard to get, he'll generally just keep from being got, heh)
While this definitely does not describe all single males, it is a stigma that has been associated with them due to the rampant amount who do exhibit these behaviors. It may not even be that the majority of single men are like that, just that the vocal minority are the ones being seen and heard, while the good ones are quiet and seldom initiate contact.
The rest of my points are more anecdotal, as they come from what I've heard from couples I play with, but it seems many single males out there are amazing at giving bad first impressions. Nearly every couple I've been with complains that other single men are all about one thing; getting off. Once they've had their 2 min of fun, they're out the door, leaving you wondering what, if anything, just happened.
Additionally, most men completely fail to comprehend a simple fact of women (generally, but obviously not always); Which is that women are more stimulated by thoughts than actions (again, generally). Most single men don't take the time to appeal to the womans need for intellectual eroticism. Next time you're looking for porn, take a notice at how many sex magazines are geared towards men, and how many are geared towards women. At the same time, take a look at your local book store, and count the soft-porn romance novels. For most women, it's the mind and not the eyes that turn them on.
The obvious parallel to this is that men tend to be easily attracted via eyes alone. So, when it's a couples decision as to whether to invite a man to their bed, the male-half in all probability feels no attraction to the guy, and the female-half is probably more interested in the idea than attracted to the individual. Where as with a single woman, the male-half is generally -very- attracted, and the female-half is interested in the idea, and maybe also attracted. Works out well for single women; not so much for single men.
And finally there's the matter of simple motivation. It seems that there are a significantly greater number of bi women as opposed to bi men. (The funny thing about this is that if a bi man advertises that he is such, he will likely find himself having even less opportunity due to societal homophobia towards bi and gay males.) The side effect of this disparity in numbers is that it's much more probable that a couple will be mutually attracted to a single female than they will to a single male. Lets face it, when you're persuing a single female it's generally for both of you, but when you seek a single male, it's generally just for her (unless you're like me, and just loooove to see women being pleased, in which case it's still for both of you).
The lifestyle is heavily tilted towards women, and it's no wonder. It just makes sense that it would be.
As a complete aside, I've actually found myself very successful in the lifestyle as a single male, and have really enjoyed being a part of it. I believe what makes me so successful is that I -very- rarely initiate contact via email. Instead I post to the forums, and hang around in the chat. This appears to work out well, since I'm not seen as over agressive, and I give women the opportunity to be attracted to me on a mental level.
So that's my advice to all my brethren single men out there. Sit back, relax, and stop bombarding people with emails. Just be present, and be active. When a couple is interested in playing, they'll find you.
~That 0ne Darc guy
When my ex and I use to play as a couple, we made the mistake of setting our profile to show we were seeking single males. I say mistake because we were completely innundated by emails from single males after that. Rare and few were the messages from single females. That's problem number 1, there's a veritable sea of single men out there just itchin to get involved; and only scarce few single women. Basic economics, supply and demand.
Reading the emails is where we encountered the next problem. So common were the statements, "I'll do you better than your husband", "I'll do things to you that you wish your husband could do", "I'll show you what a real man can be like", "I'll warn you, after me, you wont want to be with your husband again". Besides the fact that every email was addressed to her as opposed to us, the teeming majority of them were dead set on lambasting me as her parter. Problem number 2, the majority of single males completely lack respect for the couple as a unit, and are only interested in either "one-upping" the male-half or getting off, and leaving.
Eventually, we decided to remove that we were looking for single men, and instead would just seek them out on an as desired basis. If you email a single male, you're pretty much guarenteed a response; where as it's rare that a single female will respond. There's problem number 3, single men are generally just begging for it, where the women tend to be very selective. The chase is exciting, and acts like something of a sexual primer. You enjoy more what you worked harder to get. (the counter point to this is that if a single man plays hard to get, he'll generally just keep from being got, heh)
While this definitely does not describe all single males, it is a stigma that has been associated with them due to the rampant amount who do exhibit these behaviors. It may not even be that the majority of single men are like that, just that the vocal minority are the ones being seen and heard, while the good ones are quiet and seldom initiate contact.
The rest of my points are more anecdotal, as they come from what I've heard from couples I play with, but it seems many single males out there are amazing at giving bad first impressions. Nearly every couple I've been with complains that other single men are all about one thing; getting off. Once they've had their 2 min of fun, they're out the door, leaving you wondering what, if anything, just happened.
Additionally, most men completely fail to comprehend a simple fact of women (generally, but obviously not always); Which is that women are more stimulated by thoughts than actions (again, generally). Most single men don't take the time to appeal to the womans need for intellectual eroticism. Next time you're looking for porn, take a notice at how many sex magazines are geared towards men, and how many are geared towards women. At the same time, take a look at your local book store, and count the soft-porn romance novels. For most women, it's the mind and not the eyes that turn them on.
The obvious parallel to this is that men tend to be easily attracted via eyes alone. So, when it's a couples decision as to whether to invite a man to their bed, the male-half in all probability feels no attraction to the guy, and the female-half is probably more interested in the idea than attracted to the individual. Where as with a single woman, the male-half is generally -very- attracted, and the female-half is interested in the idea, and maybe also attracted. Works out well for single women; not so much for single men.
And finally there's the matter of simple motivation. It seems that there are a significantly greater number of bi women as opposed to bi men. (The funny thing about this is that if a bi man advertises that he is such, he will likely find himself having even less opportunity due to societal homophobia towards bi and gay males.) The side effect of this disparity in numbers is that it's much more probable that a couple will be mutually attracted to a single female than they will to a single male. Lets face it, when you're persuing a single female it's generally for both of you, but when you seek a single male, it's generally just for her (unless you're like me, and just loooove to see women being pleased, in which case it's still for both of you).
The lifestyle is heavily tilted towards women, and it's no wonder. It just makes sense that it would be.
As a complete aside, I've actually found myself very successful in the lifestyle as a single male, and have really enjoyed being a part of it. I believe what makes me so successful is that I -very- rarely initiate contact via email. Instead I post to the forums, and hang around in the chat. This appears to work out well, since I'm not seen as over agressive, and I give women the opportunity to be attracted to me on a mental level.
So that's my advice to all my brethren single men out there. Sit back, relax, and stop bombarding people with emails. Just be present, and be active. When a couple is interested in playing, they'll find you.
~That 0ne Darc guy
This thread has certaintly produced some interesting subtopics and asides. Just to address a few from the most recent posts.....
We've seen a few times about guys who email a couple stating that he'll perform better than the male partner of the couple. That is interesting, because we have never experienced that. Sure, we've received emails from guys we weren't interested in, but rarely have the emails been disrespectful. A few have also suggested that single males shouldn't send emails, instead waiting for the couple to "pursue." As a couple that is interested in single males, we disagree. If a male has enough interest in a couple, if that couple hasn't in any way stated "no single males", and if the male sends a respectful message; then we don't see any reason why that single male shouldn't send the message. We don't know what other couples interested in single males do, but we don't spend a lot of time perusing the single male profiles and sending messages. If all are waiting for somebody else to start the conversation, then it will never get started.
Drama. An interesting word, indeed. In reality, drama is a part of life, and it unfortunately has a different connotation for many people (and it has increasingly become overused and misused). Melodrama, on the otherhand is something different altogether--now that is something to avoid!
B&B
We've seen a few times about guys who email a couple stating that he'll perform better than the male partner of the couple. That is interesting, because we have never experienced that. Sure, we've received emails from guys we weren't interested in, but rarely have the emails been disrespectful. A few have also suggested that single males shouldn't send emails, instead waiting for the couple to "pursue." As a couple that is interested in single males, we disagree. If a male has enough interest in a couple, if that couple hasn't in any way stated "no single males", and if the male sends a respectful message; then we don't see any reason why that single male shouldn't send the message. We don't know what other couples interested in single males do, but we don't spend a lot of time perusing the single male profiles and sending messages. If all are waiting for somebody else to start the conversation, then it will never get started.
Drama. An interesting word, indeed. In reality, drama is a part of life, and it unfortunately has a different connotation for many people (and it has increasingly become overused and misused). Melodrama, on the otherhand is something different altogether--now that is something to avoid!
B&B
Here Here, BandB! We have been in the lifestyle for 7+ years, the first 3-4 years only in the search of single men and not once, on this site or any other, have we received the afore mentioned emails (the one-up my hubby, or I'll do you better, type) for that matter, I've never received a rude one from a single male, ever. I'm always stunned to hear others say they have received emails of the like. Their mention perpetuates the dreaded single male myth and I hate when it's brought up. I take personal offense when someone bashes my friends (current or potential) and I'll stick up for them whenever possible.
We also enjoy getting emails from interested men or couples. We rarely search the profiles ourselves and find it more fruitful to respond to those who are already interested in us for one reason or another. It seems a safe place to start. It doesn't promise an instant connection or even a later hook up, just not something we dislike in any way.
Mrs. Curious
We also enjoy getting emails from interested men or couples. We rarely search the profiles ourselves and find it more fruitful to respond to those who are already interested in us for one reason or another. It seems a safe place to start. It doesn't promise an instant connection or even a later hook up, just not something we dislike in any way.
Mrs. Curious
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It's funny how most of the people that say they wanna avoid "Drama" are often the cause or directly in the middle of it. It amazes me how some people lie to themselves by thinking they are on the outside looking in. Thinking that they're coming from a place that is above it all. I find lots of humor in those people. Most of the people that get into heated discussions with me use those kinds of tatics, when if it weren't for their participation, there would be no "drama" or even "melodrama" as you put it.
Either way, anyone that allows words in a forum affect their lives in an adverse way, <u>at all</u>, needs to grab the nearest tack hammer and destroy their genitals and their children's as well, as to prevent further infection of their stupidity on the world. Most people "offended" by what is written in a forum, need to be offended. They derive entertainment or enjoyment out of being the victim. It's just a way of drawing attention. Think about it. Why should anyone care what I or anyone else thinks on this fucking forum? I sure as hell don't.
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-Don-
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It's funny how most of the people that say they wanna avoid "Drama" are often the cause or directly in the middle of it. It amazes me how some people lie to themselves by thinking they are on the outside looking in. Thinking that they're coming from a place that is above it all. I find lots of humor in those people. Most of the people that get into heated discussions with me use those kinds of tatics, when if it weren't for their participation, there would be no "drama" or even "melodrama" as you put it.
Either way, anyone that allows words in a forum affect their lives in an adverse way, <u>at all</u>, needs to grab the nearest tack hammer and destroy their genitals and their children's as well, as to prevent further infection of their stupidity on the world. Most people "offended" by what is written in a forum, need to be offended. They derive entertainment or enjoyment out of being the victim. It's just a way of drawing attention. Think about it. Why should anyone care what I or anyone else thinks on this fucking forum? I sure as hell don't.
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-Don-
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Darcone you nailed it!!!! You are exactly the quality of single male we will open up to. The only thing we may not completely agree on is that when we seek a single lady it is her doing the seeking but only to please me and when I seek a single guy it is to please her alone. We are both straight but having another in bed with us allows us to increase the pleasure to our partner. We love each other and are always looking to increase the amount of pleasure the other is enjoying. OK, I admit it is a huge turn on to see her let loose of her shy exterior when she is with another guy and myself.