We've always found, that being up front and honest with each other works best, no code words, just let your partner know.
the problem comes when one of the people feel sex is right and the other doesn't, thats where the guideline of one out both out comes in to play.
Telling the other couple is harder, you feel you would like a friendship, but not sex, how do you tell them without hurting their feelings, again we find honesty to be the best thing for all concerned, although, we have found, when you tell the other couple no thank you in the bedroom, there is no friendship, for alot, it seems sex comes before the friendship, and is depentent on the sexual playtime, which we feel is unfair.
Bottom line is honesty is always the best.
the problem comes when one of the people feel sex is right and the other doesn't, thats where the guideline of one out both out comes in to play.
Telling the other couple is harder, you feel you would like a friendship, but not sex, how do you tell them without hurting their feelings, again we find honesty to be the best thing for all concerned, although, we have found, when you tell the other couple no thank you in the bedroom, there is no friendship, for alot, it seems sex comes before the friendship, and is depentent on the sexual playtime, which we feel is unfair.
Bottom line is honesty is always the best.
We agree with PARTYX2, honesty in that area brings the best results for everyone.
If that keeps them from being friends, we've found it best to discover that up front.
There is too much at stake in this game of sexual roulette to let fear of what they will think or feel get in the way.
If that keeps them from being friends, we've found it best to discover that up front.
There is too much at stake in this game of sexual roulette to let fear of what they will think or feel get in the way.
We love to have friends in this lifestyle, and we seem to have a lot of great ones. But we are also selective in who we play with. Yes we are all on here for different reasons. Some we have found are on here and make it clear they don't want friends or friendship, just SEX and that is it ... Period! While that works for some it doesn't for us. So we try to have some clarity in our initial conversations. This not only includes the basics but also the STD talks (hard subject, but we have ran into it more then once and have had surprises) up front in the first meeting or two.
We let them know up front that we ALL will need to have the three main things at work to make things click with all of us 1) Physical Attraction 2) Sexual Chemistry , 3) Personality Connectivity and similar interests in life and things help as well. If we ALL don
We let them know up front that we ALL will need to have the three main things at work to make things click with all of us 1) Physical Attraction 2) Sexual Chemistry , 3) Personality Connectivity and similar interests in life and things help as well. If we ALL don
We've found that the best way to handle it is to tell the couple up front before you meet that you dont' play on a first date. Its a meet and greet only.
That way you are covered if you do not click.
You can discuss the way you feel about them on the way home and if you all click they should be very open to making the next date to get in some actual play time.
That way you are covered if you do not click.
You can discuss the way you feel about them on the way home and if you all click they should be very open to making the next date to get in some actual play time.
Our approach is a little different, we make it so the couple we are not interest in dumps us.
First we agree to meet for dinner, if we decide they are not for us we go into action:
Here's what I do:
I collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on the table table.
I wipe my nose on Mrs. FL4fun's sleeve. Twice.
I give claim to fame as being voted "Most Festerous" in my high school yearbook.
I stare at the other couple and grind my teeth audibly.
I stand up every five minutes, circle my arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds.
I pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when the other couple begins talking about themselves.
When ordering, I inquire whether the restaurant has any "live food"
I ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates.
I ask the couple how much money they have with them.
I lick my plate and offer to lick theirs.
I hum. Loudly. In monotone.
I undress the couple verbally, using a bullhorn.
I order beef tongue and then make lewd comparisons or comments.
I leave and go into the restroom. When I return to the table, I throw a spare pair of underwear on the back of one of the chairs. I say they just need airing out.
I Don't use any verbs during the entire meal.
I break wind loudly and add "color commentary" then bow.
This works, we get dumped and leave with our "hurt feelings" :^)
First we agree to meet for dinner, if we decide they are not for us we go into action:
Here's what I do:
I collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on the table table.
I wipe my nose on Mrs. FL4fun's sleeve. Twice.
I give claim to fame as being voted "Most Festerous" in my high school yearbook.
I stare at the other couple and grind my teeth audibly.
I stand up every five minutes, circle my arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds.
I pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when the other couple begins talking about themselves.
When ordering, I inquire whether the restaurant has any "live food"
I ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates.
I ask the couple how much money they have with them.
I lick my plate and offer to lick theirs.
I hum. Loudly. In monotone.
I undress the couple verbally, using a bullhorn.
I order beef tongue and then make lewd comparisons or comments.
I leave and go into the restroom. When I return to the table, I throw a spare pair of underwear on the back of one of the chairs. I say they just need airing out.
I Don't use any verbs during the entire meal.
I break wind loudly and add "color commentary" then bow.
This works, we get dumped and leave with our "hurt feelings" :^)
We move so slow I don't have to worry about my wife signing us up for something on the first night.... As for code words etc... the only one we have is if she is in trouble or absolutely needs my attention NOW.... I've never heard it and don't plan to.. but I know if I hear it I need to pay attention to what is going on with her/around her.
As far as your question... Really if they the other couple seams eager and we are not we will just politely decline the physical part.
As far as your question... Really if they the other couple seams eager and we are not we will just politely decline the physical part.