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You do realize guys, and by guys I mean all guys, whether married or single. that being in this lifestlye we are all alike, until one thing happens. Some of us get married. And when this happens, we forget about the years of frustration that went along with being a single male in this lifestyle. We tend to soon forget about our single friends who where shunned apon because they were single, and worse yet, we don't want them involved in the pleasure, that up until a lil bit of go, we were seeking together. I think it is time that the men of the swinging community ban together, and give our brothers, the same men we used to be associated with because of our status a break. If your in as much denial as the men you used to think were, then remember what you thought of them. They were men who had no control over their spouse or lovelife, because they were so scared that someone else would come in and take over. I don't mean to sound like I am preachin, till i found myself in this situation. We need to believe what we have always believed and not change because our status has.
Tim, being in the lifestyle, you should know - women rule. When it comes to sex they have always ruled. You need to be talking with the gals and not the guys about the "single male" problem.
Good hunting,
Charles
Single males are a dime a dozen. Quit whining, if a couple or a female is interested in you they will find you.
i was single befor chris was in my life and i had no problems enjoying life, which is why i think i did not stress about it at all, i went where i was welcomed... rich
Just another post by a whiney single male
Personally, I don't see what's so wrong with the original post. I think that single men that are in the "lifestyle" (whatever) banding together is a great idea. There a couple of high points that I can see in this plan:

- Maybe they'll start hitting on each other and then even they'll realize how annoying they are.

- That a ex-single male who is married can one throw some of these guys a pity-lay every so often and then they'll leave the rest of us alone a little more often.

D
i admit the original post was "whiny", but i do not think it is enough to start a bash either...

unfortunity it seems to work like this, the kool single males you never hear about, the ones that cause debate, are out in front, makes bad PR for the group... but i can attest, an asshole is an asshole, married or not... we have had as many disfomforts in the life style with couples as singles (male and female) (we have had 5 girlfriends in 2 and a half years... now they are trouble!)
Just had to respond to this one . We have been to "Gangbangs" and even though there are hundreds of guys in the group many from the surrounding area this group is lucky to get a handful of guys who actually show up at the parties!

Today we seen one guy who had signed up for a party this weekend and he sent a message to cancle becuase he said he forgot he was suppose to go to some car show this guy chose cars over six waiting eager pussies lol.

Every party 1/2 the single guys who sign up don't show but all the ladies and cpl show! Single guys are easy to find but it would be nice for the ones who we as cpls do select if they would actually show up :@ As a single guy count yourself lucky if you get a invite bya cpl or single gal here is a tipif you ever do get lucky and get a invite bya cpl or single gal make sure you show up or it may be the last time you geta invite by them/her!

S&N
ampussy ... where is our invite :p
One has to think "Why do single guys have such a difficult time?" For us, the answer would be because there are a few (the one percenters?) who make total pains of themselves in a variety of ways. In more than one instance, we have had single males that we have contacted showing eagerness in the beginning, and then stand us up when it came time for the face-to-face meeting. With others, she just feels used, so why would someone want to subject themselves to those feelings? And, after all, it IS the women who rule in this selection.

My suggestion: Help to weed out and get rid of the one percenters and it will be much better for everyone.:p
To Rich and Chris

Your invite has been sent LOL ;)

Now to all you single/married palying alone types


To all the guys out there here is a tip if you ever get a invite to a great party make sure you strike up conversation at the social part of the party with the gals/cpls you will find that once the sex starts it makes for a much more enjoyable evening. We went to a GB party this past weekend one guy at the pre-party was very quiet and a bit younger than my wife perfers now I have seen her break her own rule before(she feels awkwards playing with guys younger than our kids 23-25) but have seen her break her own rule guys listen up the ones who chose to approach us and start a conversation did not go away from the parties unsatisfied the ones who stood there likes bumps on a log didn't get much. Remeber guys the ladies are not going to try and charm you instead you are the ones who have to do the charming and DON't ignore the hubby in the conversations like he doesn't exist Ihave seen that on a few occassions and didn't bother me but it shows disrespect towards a cpl. Guys you are the charmers not the charmees. everyone above all have fun "LIVE FREE OR DIE"

Norm&Sharon
the tampa area has parties that are single male friendly as long as the men act right they can keep getting invited... send us a message to ask for details rather than making this and advertisement.
I think most guys, married or single, like to think of ourselves as "unique" above the ordinary, etc etc, and we are not used to being ignored or worse yet, turned down..Oh my, the first time is a crusher..Bottom line here guys is, THERE ARE A BUNCH OF US" and so few of them...LOL. Seriously, if you don't pay attention to the numbers it will shock you as to how many of us "single guys" there are..The couples or the single ladies have a large pool to choose from so why be surprised that they didn't choose "me".. I know it is frustrating because I know that "I" am not one of those "bad seeds" , but They don't know that.. Took me a while to understand this and I have to admit that it is disheartening, because lets face it, we are ALL on here to party. But guys, don't blame the couples for our problem..That is the beauty of this lifestyle, NO MEANS NO, even if it means you go home horny..All that being said, it does not justify rudeness on anyones part..Couples, if your bio does not say "no single males" and you get an e-mail from one, damn, be courtious and answer the poor guy.. (especially if it is me, LOL)..
that is my 3 cents worth.
The 1% of single guys out there frustrate most everyone. I know Christy has no patience to deal with them. We use Yahoo IM and she stays invisible most of the time because she gets tired of dealing with the single guys that IM with a sexual question. Or perhaps a guy that seems nice but quickly turns out to not have any interest in chatting online unless it's about sex.

She also is automatically turned off by single guys that send an intro pic of their dick rather than their face.

I know it's hard for the single guys to find someone-s to include them, but the best suggestions are to be nice, polite and honest and it will get you a lot farther than being a pushy, cocky, horny guy.
Honestly, how many Men are posting a reply for their signifigant other, and how many Real women are speaking for themselves?
It's quite interesting to find out how many honest couples post together and how many men/women post their feeling's on such a subject.
we hang out with respectful fun people . if a single guy wants to hang out thats cool with us . we have alot of single guys hang out with us . but they can be pushy . but not all are .i have more problems with married men being pushy then i do the single guys .the single guys seem to be more thankful for being able to hang out . and try harder not to cause problems .
naughty dreams
freaky kitty
Over 25 yrs in this lifestyle and I thought I'd heard it all. Friends, you were all much to kind to this self serving single. He wants us (married men) to consider his status equal with ours, and share the most precious person in our lives equally with him? Wake up Tim!! If you want equal status, go find someone to love, and who loves you back, and make the commitment we all made, along with accepting the responsibilties that go with it. When Debbie and I select a single, whether it be male or female, we do so for OUR pleasure. We don't do this because we feel bad for our poor single friends. If you're having a tough time, then maybe a little self examination is order as opposed to placing blame with those whos success you are dependent on. Remember, this is about swapping my friend. And you have nothing to swap! You are an accessory! Be grateful for whatever generosity comes your way and accept it graciously. You are owed NOTHING! You OWE plenty to those that are willing to share with you.
TO T 4REAL69,
I REALLY LIKED WHAT U HAD TO SAY . I WISH MORE SINGLE GUYS WERE LIKE U . AND I LOOKED AT YOUR PICS AND PROFILE . AND DAMN U ARE HOT !!!!!!!!!
I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT SOME PEOPLE ARENT LOOKING FOR SINGLE GUYS . BUT I ALSO DONT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE MAKE SUCH A BAD JUDGEMENT CALL ON THEM JUST CAUSE THEY ARE SINGLE GUYS . WE GO TO ALOT OF PARTIES . AND YES THERE IS A FEW HERE AND THERE THAT ARE RUDE OR PUSHY . BUT I HAVESO MANY MORE PROBLEMS WITH THE MARRIED MEN . WE LOVE TO HANG OUT WITH FUN PEOPLE . SINGLE ,COUPLES , BLACK AND WHITE AND ANYTHING IN BETWEEN . WE LIKE TO GET TO KNOW PEOPLE AND PLAY WITH ONLY THE ONES THAT WE REALLY CLICK WITH .BUT WE LOVE MEETING NEW FRIENDS AND HANGING OUT AND HAVING FUN .
TO US THE OPEN LIFE STYLE HAS MANY DIFFERENT LEVELS AND EVERYBODY SHOULD UNDERSTAND AND RESPECT THAT EVERYBODY IS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING DIFFEENT . SWINGING IS FOR OPEN MINDED PEOPLE THAT WANT TO SHARE AND EXPLORE TOG . MOST OF THE TIME SINGLE GUYS ACT LIKE ITS JUST A FAST PIECE OF ASS .OR THAT CAUSE THEY WENT TO A SWINGERS PARTY THAT THEY SHOULD HAVE HOOKED UP WITH A BUNCH OF PEOPLE . I HAVE NOTICED THAT ALOT OF SINGLE GUYS WORRY ABOUT HOOKING UP EVERYTIME THEY GO TO A PARTY . AND IT SHOWS THAT THEY ARE THERE FOR ONE THING . NOT ALL BUT ALOT . AND THAT ATTITUDE IS A HUGE TURN OFF . ALOT OF THIER PROFILES HAVE TONS OF PICS OF JUST THIER COCKS . EVEN IF IT IS A TOOL LIKE NO ONE ELSES. THAT DOESNT MEAN THAT WE NEED TO SEE IT IN A BUNCH OF PICS . I THINK IF SINGLE GUYS ACTED AND TALKED WITH RESPECT AND PUT A LITLE BIT MORE EFFORT INTO THIER PROFILE THEY WOULD HAVE A BETTER CHANCE .
I TALK TO ALOT OF PEOPLE AND HANG OUT WITH ALOT OF PEOPLE . AND WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR NEW FRIENDS . SINGLE OR MARRIED COUPLE WE SHOW RESPECT AND WE DEMAND RESPECT . WE ARE NOT AT PARTIES JUST TO HOOK UP . WE ARE NOT ON SWINGING SITES JUST TO FIND NEW PLAY MATES . I CAN T STAND THE EMAILS THAT SAY . HI WHEN CAN WE MEET ? HI .. I CANT WAIT TO PLAY WITH U . ALL OF THAT SEX TALK BEFORE WE EVEN SAY HI AND KNOW WHO THEY ARE IS A HUGE TURN OFF . I DONT CARE WHO THEY ARE MARRIED OR SINGLE . THEY NEED TO SHOW RESPECT AND WAIT TO BE OFFERED AND INVITED TO PLAY . I DONT CARE IF THEY WANT TO TALK DIRTY BUT DAMN WAIT UNTIL I KNOW THEM SOME WHAT . ALOT OF SINGLE GUYS ACT LIKE THEY CAN JUST WALK UP INTO A PARTY AND ALL THE GIRLS SHOULD BE WANTING THEM . THATS NOT THE CASE . SWINGING IS ABOUT SHAREING AND EXPLORING . KINDA OF LIKE IN A LOVING WAY . AND ALOT OF PEOPLE HAVE A WAY OF MAKING IT SEEM SO CHEAP AND NASTY . BUT LIKE I SAID I HAVE MORE PROBLEMS WITH THE MARRIED MEN . I HAVE ALOT OF SINGLE GUY FRIENDS THAT I DONT PLLAY WITH AT ALL BUT THEY LOVE TO HANG OUT WITH US . AND LIKE ANYONE ELSE IF THEY CAN SHOW RESPECT AND NOT BEING PUSHY THEN THEY ARE MORE THEN WELCOME TO HANG OUT WITH US .
I THINK EVERYBODY NEEDS TO REALIZE THAT NO MATTER WHO U ARE U ARENT GOING TO BE EVERYBODY TYPE . DONT WORRY ABOUT THE ONES THAT DONT WANT U . GO TO PARTIES AND WRITE IN CHATS AND GET TO KNOW PEOPLE .AND THEN GO WITH THE FLOW . DONT BE IN SUCH A RUSH . AND A TIP FOR SINGLE GUYS BUT A LITTLE THOUGHT INTO YOUR PROFILE AND PICS. I DONT WRITE ANYONE THAT HAS JUST PRIVATE SHOTS OR SIMPLE ONE LINERS IN THEIR PROFILE . WE ALREDY KNOW U WANT SEX . SO WRITE ALITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT YOU AND HELP PEOPLE SEE U FOR WHO U AE .AND THAT WILL GIVE U A BETTER CHANCE TO MEET FRIENDS AND THEN MAYBE MORE WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE .
NAUGHTY DREAMS
FREAKY KITTY
"Tim in Lakeland": Do you seriously believe what you have written. Why, repeat, why? Why do you think that married men who are in the lifestyle should have pity on you because you are single and not getting what you THINK you deserve. You have a hard time because you think that you have some kind of right but you don't. Just because you have a gender affiliation with married males doesn't mean that you are automatically allowed to come to the party. making a connection with a couple or a single female, in the lifestyle, is no different than creating a loving relationship (one outside of the lifestyle) - it takes a shitload of work, compassion, passion, and understanding. You gotta earn it!!! Like OKCTWO said, it's the women who drive this vehicle, not the men. Face it dude, if you are straight and the lady doesn't find you appealing then that is the end of the story. Like someone else said, this is about their pleasure more so than it is about yours...if you or I or anyone else is not to their liking who the hell are we to tell them that they should have pity on us. You need to get a reality check. Stop trying to get into the ball without an earned invitation.

Now, just so everyone understands where I'm coming from, I am a single male who used to be part of a couple. Some of you may recognize my face from a profile that was entitled "CR8TIVECPL." That liason is no longer and so, now, I am on the other side of the fence. That said, I agree with most things that everyone has said here - the criticisms and the advice. Just like the couples that we approach, we, single males, are unique. Consequently, the adage of "different strokes for different folks" is very appropriate. Unfortunately, for the single male, connections are going to be few and far between. Unless we were totally naive when we made the conscious decision to become a part of the lifestyle, we should not be surprised at the results. Coming back to OKCTWO's statement, in a sense, this is no different from dating, courting, and trying to talk to women in a bar. When I say that, do not think for one moment that I see the lifestyle as a pick up bar. What I mean is that it is the same kind of interaction - men trying to impress, get the attention of; attempting to woo the female. How many times do we get rejected? Why were we rejected? Because the lady wasn't interested for any number of reasons. It could be physical, mental, or just because. Whatever the reason she is the driver, the conductor, the head engineer and she, not us, runs the show. The quicker that we learn to live with that and not stress about it the better off we will be.

When I first started out in this lifestyle (a whopping four years ago), I used to get real discouraged and say "pour me," I can't get anywhere. eventually, I understood about what and who controls this show. It ain't about me and it is all about the ladies. There is no man who is all things to all women...especially when it comes to sex appeal. Now, I cultivate the connections that I have made, make sure that I attend every party to which I am invited, and always remember that I am an invited guest. By behaving this way, I have some truly quality friendships and, in the long run, despite being a single male in the lifestyle, I consider myself to be very lucky.

Cherish the few relationships that you have been fortunate to cultivate and stop worrying about the ones that don't come to fruition.

that's my two cents worth...

I'm outta here.

Rick
To T4REAL69:

Thank you...I'm only callin' it from my own little microscopic perspective...

Rick