Swingers on Swingular - Swingers Forum

In the recent years I have changed, morphed even, into the person I am today. A swinger. Eccentric, confidant, secure, uninhibited, with a puissant sexuality. What I consider "out of the box!" Open, understanding, diverse.
Only within the last year have we dared to call ourselves "swingers" we decided together to change our lifestyle, to change our rules, to change our minds about how we regard each other as individuals.
What I have noticed as I have taken this quest into being a swinger, is how the people in and around my life are noticing this change, and reacting with judgements. They live by different rules than I do, they choose to, and yet they still judge.
Are these people just unhappy with themselves? Are they jealous? Why are they concerned?
I have failed to understand this. Why do they spew hate at me?(I call it emotional vomit) Shouldn't they be happy for me?
If these people are already having averse feelings about me and/or my behavior, how will they react to find out we are swingers?
I now know why some of swingers only associate with other swingers. To bad for us there are few to be found down here in the south.

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."-Mother Theresa

Thanks for letting me vent, here's to living out of the box.

~Mrs~

Ah,

It's a decision we all live with - ebb and flow with. There are interesting things that occur within as Swingers, but the changes are pretty much within.

Learn to let go of what doesn't matter. Hold on to what does. In the end, live and let live! They are entitled to be as well as you.

So...just get in the mud and have a good time!

---------------K_T

"Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul in this world--and never will."

Mark Twain

Very well-said GG

Let me just say that there is not a person in this world that can make me change how I feel about myself, but what I have not figured out is how to love them anyway, despite their judgments. How do you keep from changing your opinion of the judges? They seem so much smaller in my mind, they seem so empty, so petty.
Anyone know how to love someone who inadvertently judges you because they are not happy with themselves?

"I do not accept any absolute formulas for living. No preconceived code can see ahead to everything that can happen in a man's life. As we live, we grow and our beliefs change. They must change. So I think we should live with this constant discovery. We should be open to this adventure in heightened awareness of living. We should stake our whole existence on our willingness to explore and experience."-Martin Buber

On judgments:

My wife and I were in the lifestyle for many years. She died 5 years ago of cancer and was the love of my life. It has been very hard for me as we were married for 34 years. Many of our friends were swingers because, as others have found, those not involved in the lifestyle often have negative judgmental attitudes. We made many friends.

After she died I was supported by my friends but I was no longer invited to parties. For a while that was fine because I wasn't ready. But since I've tried to renew my lifestyle activities, I've found that I am no longer welcome. Why? Because I'm a single male. Forget that my wife and I were involved in the lifestyle up in Seattle, forget the many times we hosted parties at our house, my wife's death made me a pariah to other swingers.

I really do not understand this. I'm still the same person. I'm discrete, clean, disease and drug free, I'm not pushy and no always means no. I guess I do not understand why all of a sudden I'm no longer welcome at parties i used to attend.

Yes, many people not in the lifestyle judge those of us who are. But a large number of people in the lifestyle are just as judgmental, only they pretend that they are not.

VIRGIN,
Just for clarification purposes:

Judgment: The act or process of judging; the formation of an opinion after consideration or deliberation, The mental ability to perceive and distinguish relationships; discernment

Opinion: A belief or conclusion held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof.

You asked me why, I told you, if you don't like what I say, DON'T ASK FOR MY OPINION!
In any situation, at any time, when 2 people are calling each other out, to step outside or whatever, I would ask ANYONE to spare us the fight. If you cannot win an argument without calling someones wife a fat slut, you cannot call yourself anything but infantile, and if your behaving like a child, you are going to be asked to sit down and shut the fuck up.
My not wanting the forum bombarded by your constant fight picking is my right as a member of this site, you don't want me to judge you? Don't plaster the forum pages with your dirty laundry. This problem is easily fixed by you keeping your "cock fights" out of public view. Until such a time, plan on people having an opinion about you.
We are all adults here, if you cannot behave as such, there's another site for juvenile adolescents, I suggest you check it out.

"Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change."-Confucius

~K~

CNT- Because you are a threat to their morals/value system. Seldom are those who live within a strict code willing to let others live out of it. Realize this is the nature of the imperfect species we are part of and do what you can to positively influence it, then just let it be.

Otherwise you will go nuckin futs.

Swingers Forum - The vent!