We have 3 small children. Son - 8 ,Son - 4 and Daughter - 2.
How did you keep them out of this part of your life or not stop this part of your life for them.
You need to know that I am a stay at home mom and that I homeschool.They are a part of my every day life.The thing is I need to learn that it is okay to have a part of my life to myself and a part of my life for my husband and me and a part of my life for them.So how do I fit this all together
How did you keep them out of this part of your life or not stop this part of your life for them.
You need to know that I am a stay at home mom and that I homeschool.They are a part of my every day life.The thing is I need to learn that it is okay to have a part of my life to myself and a part of my life for my husband and me and a part of my life for them.So how do I fit this all together
Well we wish you the best of luck...but from our experience, we recommend not getting the children "involved" with your new friends immediately.
We started in the lifestyle with the attitude that we should all be friends first, have dinner with each others family, etc. We wanted to be able to bring our child around our swinging friends and their children, and know that it was ok. Well that was great, UNTIL some of our swing friends and we had a disagreement. Our son wanted to go back and play with their children, and it wasn't happening.
Therefore, we learned that you don't have to get the children "involved" at all. We basically tell everyone that we have an 8 year old boy of whom we don't prefer to meet. We explain why and find that it works just fine that way.
I know you said that you are a stay at home mom and also home school your children. Do you have a part time babysitter? We love to meet folks from the internet, and from the clubs. If we meet them from the internet, we ask to meet in a public place first, dinner, etc. Then if we meet them at the club, well you probably know about that. LOL
Good luck -- hope this helps
We started in the lifestyle with the attitude that we should all be friends first, have dinner with each others family, etc. We wanted to be able to bring our child around our swinging friends and their children, and know that it was ok. Well that was great, UNTIL some of our swing friends and we had a disagreement. Our son wanted to go back and play with their children, and it wasn't happening.
Therefore, we learned that you don't have to get the children "involved" at all. We basically tell everyone that we have an 8 year old boy of whom we don't prefer to meet. We explain why and find that it works just fine that way.
I know you said that you are a stay at home mom and also home school your children. Do you have a part time babysitter? We love to meet folks from the internet, and from the clubs. If we meet them from the internet, we ask to meet in a public place first, dinner, etc. Then if we meet them at the club, well you probably know about that. LOL
Good luck -- hope this helps
Thanks for the reply. 
hi, we have made close friends with some couples that have children, and it has worked out great... in the 2 main instances i refer to, we have been accepted as normal friends to the children... one couple has 2 small children, and that part was easy, do to just being around them eventually so much, they know us and like us, the other is funny, this one couple,(the same i posted on that has been very helpful to chris and i since my injury) has 5 kids, and she home schools them... they range from 6mnths to 12... the 3 oldest were where we all had to tread lightly intill it just became fact.... we were friends.... now i will be helping with their home schooling for the two older ones in history, social studies, geography, and government... since thier mom hates those and i majored in history.
i think you guys will know who you can let into your life and who is best keeped in the bedroom, it will feel right... and these friends like all friends you will not always agree on everything...
good luck, i hope you guys are as lucky as we to find great couples and the familys to be friends with...
i think you guys will know who you can let into your life and who is best keeped in the bedroom, it will feel right... and these friends like all friends you will not always agree on everything...
good luck, i hope you guys are as lucky as we to find great couples and the familys to be friends with...
I guess we have all been in the position of trying to mix children, jobs, family, friends, each other and swinging. So your note is going to strike a responsive chord in almost everyone who takes the time to read it. My job requires a great deal of travel. I am often gone for weeks or months at a time. We understand how tough finding the time can be.
Your children are fairly young. Belinda has two teenagers so I can tell you that the requirements of family do not get easier anytime too soon.
I can only tell you what we do. We plan out -- sometimes weeks and months in advance -- times for us. Some of those times are just us. Some of those times include swinging. If we did not take the time and make the plans then it just wouldn't happen.
Once you set aside the time do not let anything take it away from you.
Good Luck.
Your children are fairly young. Belinda has two teenagers so I can tell you that the requirements of family do not get easier anytime too soon.
I can only tell you what we do. We plan out -- sometimes weeks and months in advance -- times for us. Some of those times are just us. Some of those times include swinging. If we did not take the time and make the plans then it just wouldn't happen.
Once you set aside the time do not let anything take it away from you.
Good Luck.
Thank you all for the replys. 
We have a 11yo and 8yo and have been in the lifestyle around 5 years so it's been interesting. 
The biggest problem we have is babysitters. Since we do not live in a major city, we tend to travel a little so we have to get creative with the "where are we are going statements" (for the parents) and we can only get out once a month.
So don't feel alone, you'll find (if you look hard enough) many people who are experiencing the same problems or at least understand where your coming from. :h
~Donna~
The biggest problem we have is babysitters. Since we do not live in a major city, we tend to travel a little so we have to get creative with the "where are we are going statements" (for the parents) and we can only get out once a month. So don't feel alone, you'll find (if you look hard enough) many people who are experiencing the same problems or at least understand where your coming from. :h
~Donna~
well we have been in this life style for 4 years now and hav many friends that are swingers tht we dont play with . and they know our kids after we was sure it would been a very safe thing to do. and everybody gets along great . but our kids dont know of our life style .
but when they get od enough to know and ask we will tell em the trueth .
we have even had a cpl come in from another state one time aand they brought there kids
but agian it was a friendship thing and no sex was involved.
we dont make a habbit of doing that . if we havent known a cpl for awhile we dont .
we even had a falling out with a cpl .but when we see them we still talk to them.
we really feel the best meeting for the first timein town ,out to eat . or something like that.
and for the new folks trying out this lifestyle is dont be surprsed if all 4 dont click.
that is alot harder then you think.like we said we have been in this for 4 years and you would think dang 4 years i bet they have been with lots of cpls.
well no 1 full 1mmf and 1 ffm so dont get your hopes up . if it happens it happens
carl and hollyh
but when they get od enough to know and ask we will tell em the trueth .
we have even had a cpl come in from another state one time aand they brought there kids
but agian it was a friendship thing and no sex was involved.
we dont make a habbit of doing that . if we havent known a cpl for awhile we dont .
we even had a falling out with a cpl .but when we see them we still talk to them.
we really feel the best meeting for the first timein town ,out to eat . or something like that.
and for the new folks trying out this lifestyle is dont be surprsed if all 4 dont click.
that is alot harder then you think.like we said we have been in this for 4 years and you would think dang 4 years i bet they have been with lots of cpls.
well no 1 full 1mmf and 1 ffm so dont get your hopes up . if it happens it happens
carl and hollyh
we have been tog for 13 years , and we have always been in the life style . and our kids are aware of us being in the life style . we dont invite anyone to our house that we dont know well . and only the ones that are family ok . i would not let anyone come to my house or be around my kids that i didnt feel safe about having them around . and i dont care where i met them at .or who i knew them through . i have been a stay at home mom for almost 12 years . so i know it is hard to have your own time . but mykids will only be little once . so i enjoy it to the fullest and then when we have time we go out . and we only let family watch them so we have to go around their free time . which can be very hard trying to make plans with people . sometimes poeple take it the wrong way thinking we dont want to meet them . but we try to explain how things are from the get go so we dont hurt anyones feelings . once we have gotten to know the people then we will hang out at the house or at their house or meet and do family things tog . out and about . that makes it alot easier . meeting places in bewteen play times . is a lot of fun . and a huge tease . we dont play when are kids around . and they dont know the details about our play time with our friends . or any of that stuff . but they do know that we live a open life style . when they have questions we answer them honestly and openly but in general talking . nothing about someone or the what when and how stuff . but just in general talking . we dont share any more then we would as if we were talking about our reg husband and wife relationship ...
but someone said that they dont mix playmates with family time cause of something that happen . well to me that can happen to anyone with anyone . we are very busy during the week and we dont like to always have to find a sitter to hang out with our friends . and we like to hang out with alot of people . so we try to fit people in when we do things and when we have time . i prefer to hang out with swingers or people that are in the life style or that have a open mind about what we choose to do . iam a swinger 24 7 not just at the clubs on the weekends . i dont have time for people that arent ok with who i really am . everybody that knows us , knows about us . we are very open and honest . i dont want them to waste my time or theirs and i cant pretend to be normal to hang out with people that cant handle it . anyways . i would never lie to someone . . about something that might upset them. my kids mean the world to me and we do alot with them . so we try to find friends that want to hang out and do fun things like that . so we can all hang out . and we save playing for when we can get a sitter and go out to a club or house party .i would like to find someone that we can trust to watch them so we can get out more once in awhile . i find it also helpful to keep in touch with people on the computer . u can always chat with friends here and there to help make new ones or get to know others one . u can learn alot about someone chatting . and it also gives u someone to talk to since u cant get out much ..
i believe kids should be first . and we choose to do alot with them . but it is also best for everybody if mommy and daddy are happy as well . so u need to figure out ways to make time for yall and your friends . just cause we are swingers doesnt mean we cant have cook outs and stuff like that . that way everybody is still tog andhangingout but no need to try to find a sitter .in a few years the kids will have lifes of thier own and i want it to be where everybody still hangs out but it will allow us a bit more time to us .i want my kids to be hanging out with their friends always here at the house or at a house of an adult that i trust . so we try to make friends with people that want the same things . we mix our time with family time with the kids so we can always watch them .but we know everybody doesnt click with family time or with everybody else or all the time . people will always disagree and there is always going to be friendships that end . for alot of differnt reasons . we try to not worry about those we just find other friends to hang out with . we want to enjoy life with our kids and good friends . and have ablast tog.
naughty dreams
freaky kitty
but someone said that they dont mix playmates with family time cause of something that happen . well to me that can happen to anyone with anyone . we are very busy during the week and we dont like to always have to find a sitter to hang out with our friends . and we like to hang out with alot of people . so we try to fit people in when we do things and when we have time . i prefer to hang out with swingers or people that are in the life style or that have a open mind about what we choose to do . iam a swinger 24 7 not just at the clubs on the weekends . i dont have time for people that arent ok with who i really am . everybody that knows us , knows about us . we are very open and honest . i dont want them to waste my time or theirs and i cant pretend to be normal to hang out with people that cant handle it . anyways . i would never lie to someone . . about something that might upset them. my kids mean the world to me and we do alot with them . so we try to find friends that want to hang out and do fun things like that . so we can all hang out . and we save playing for when we can get a sitter and go out to a club or house party .i would like to find someone that we can trust to watch them so we can get out more once in awhile . i find it also helpful to keep in touch with people on the computer . u can always chat with friends here and there to help make new ones or get to know others one . u can learn alot about someone chatting . and it also gives u someone to talk to since u cant get out much ..
i believe kids should be first . and we choose to do alot with them . but it is also best for everybody if mommy and daddy are happy as well . so u need to figure out ways to make time for yall and your friends . just cause we are swingers doesnt mean we cant have cook outs and stuff like that . that way everybody is still tog andhangingout but no need to try to find a sitter .in a few years the kids will have lifes of thier own and i want it to be where everybody still hangs out but it will allow us a bit more time to us .i want my kids to be hanging out with their friends always here at the house or at a house of an adult that i trust . so we try to make friends with people that want the same things . we mix our time with family time with the kids so we can always watch them .but we know everybody doesnt click with family time or with everybody else or all the time . people will always disagree and there is always going to be friendships that end . for alot of differnt reasons . we try to not worry about those we just find other friends to hang out with . we want to enjoy life with our kids and good friends . and have ablast tog.
naughty dreams
freaky kitty
We are fairly new to this, but have found that juggling the kids in between our time has been very difficult. We have three small children so finding a sitter or asking family isn't always easy and can't happen as often as we would like. We have found that we are just very upfront with our friends about our kids and let them know that it does take some planning for us to go out at night. We can't just drop everything and meet them on a whim. So far, this has worked out just fine and we hope it will continue. If anyone doesn't understand, then they are probably not the couple that we will want to play with in the future anyways.
We also have two young children at home. We have managed our kids and swinging quite well. We have always met the couple a few times before they even meet the children. Some have kids of thier own, and we have had their whole family come over for dinner. It's the freinds that don't know about the lifestlye, that I fear would turn away. Some friends do know about it, and some I would love to be upfront with them. How would you go about telling a person about the lifestlye?
We have a 1 year old and 2 year old. We get sitters on the weekends and that's when we get to go out and play. We have a handful of couples that have kids that watch ours or kids that play with ours. As far as I know, our sex life hasn't been explained nor does it need to be.
Wow...I believe this to be the oldest thread I've seen to be resurrected...haha, but an excellent topic nonetheless.
J
J