Alright, here's my curious nature once again and I have found the forums to really be a great way to poll other like minded adults!
I have been recently talking to a good friend, who is newly exploring the lifestyle, about rules and boundries and how they differ from couple to couple and that they need to talk the rules through. The first one they came up with was no MF kissing on the mouth. This surprised me, is this common practice? I felt like a clod since I am pretty sure I've never asked someone if I was allowed to kiss them before I did so, and wondered if I'd been stepping over a line in the sand all these years.
Now, here's my true debate for you to analyze with me... Their explanation for their kissing rule was: Pretty Woman was right on the money. I understand the thought process here, that mouth kissing could be considered more intimate and only shared with someone you love (the pretty woman stand point) but when I dig deeper, my point of view sees that when she (pretty woman) wasn't kissing men, they were clients. There was no sharing on her side. If a man told me he couldn't kiss me, I'd walk away and not let him have sex with me either. No kissing to me feels more like I'd be a prostitute, not an active participant in the sex game. An active participant who enjoys every aspect to the chase might I add, from the initial flirting to the kissing, touching and eventual intercourse. I feel there is a nature progression.
To me, kissing is hot foreplay and can be a sign of whether he is going to be a good sex partner, if you can kiss, you can fuck! and a nice kiss post orgasm is like a compliment or a thanks for sharing guesture. I know that in my relationship with my husband, the intimate part is in our hearts and minds, not our body parts. Are we alone in feeling this way?
So, I ask: is kissing allowed with you? why and why not? perhaps it is an evolution process and a lot of couples start with a no kissing rule and change it as the situations arise?
Debates on my friends, I look forward to hearing your thoughts
Mrs.Curious
I have been recently talking to a good friend, who is newly exploring the lifestyle, about rules and boundries and how they differ from couple to couple and that they need to talk the rules through. The first one they came up with was no MF kissing on the mouth. This surprised me, is this common practice? I felt like a clod since I am pretty sure I've never asked someone if I was allowed to kiss them before I did so, and wondered if I'd been stepping over a line in the sand all these years.
Now, here's my true debate for you to analyze with me... Their explanation for their kissing rule was: Pretty Woman was right on the money. I understand the thought process here, that mouth kissing could be considered more intimate and only shared with someone you love (the pretty woman stand point) but when I dig deeper, my point of view sees that when she (pretty woman) wasn't kissing men, they were clients. There was no sharing on her side. If a man told me he couldn't kiss me, I'd walk away and not let him have sex with me either. No kissing to me feels more like I'd be a prostitute, not an active participant in the sex game. An active participant who enjoys every aspect to the chase might I add, from the initial flirting to the kissing, touching and eventual intercourse. I feel there is a nature progression.
To me, kissing is hot foreplay and can be a sign of whether he is going to be a good sex partner, if you can kiss, you can fuck! and a nice kiss post orgasm is like a compliment or a thanks for sharing guesture. I know that in my relationship with my husband, the intimate part is in our hearts and minds, not our body parts. Are we alone in feeling this way?
So, I ask: is kissing allowed with you? why and why not? perhaps it is an evolution process and a lot of couples start with a no kissing rule and change it as the situations arise?
Debates on my friends, I look forward to hearing your thoughts
Mrs.Curious
Well we have run into that twice, and we to were a little baffled but we do play by the rules. We enjoy kissing as part of our foreplay. It seems it is just a natural way to get the body more stimulated, especially if the partner is a good kisser. But each couple has there own rules and we like to stay on the right side of the line. We still have fun without kissing, but enjoy when we do tangle lips.
Before I get flammed for what I'm about to say.... It's just my opinion and preferences are like opinions and other bodily parts.... Subject to change and or modification at any time.. So here goes...
Is kissing more intimate than placing your mouth on some ones reproductive parts? Is kissing more intimate than putting your genitalia or to have someone put their genitalia in yours? Oral sex and intercourse, in my opinion is much more intimate than kissing. Prostitutes used to have a thing about kissing since they basically did everything ot anything else with multiple partners and kissing and then french kissing were reserved for their partner....husband, BF, or SO. I think that the early wife swappers of the 50's, yes 50's and 60's were into swapping for the thrill of sex with someone other than their mates and because it really started in the military, mostly officers, who didn't know if they would get another chance to let it all hang out. Kissing was a way of getting warmed up before the sex.... So my best guess is that the no klissing thing is something relatively new to the swing scene... I have no idea why some people have this thing about no kissing...or how it started in the first place.
Yes people have their preferences and yes they are entitled to those preferences, But, to this uninformed and slightly out of date man........These people are missing, at least, half the fun of swinging.. Remember your first girlfriend or boyfriend????? Remember what got you all excited..physically? What it was that got you to the point of petting.... Or even further? If you are over 35 ...maybe 40 it was kissing and oral sex was a bit later... maybe college...maybe the late 60's or early 70's oral sex really got into the common sexual repertoire. So NO kissing???? Ok? But is there something missing for both you and the perons you have sex with???? Thimk (yes THIMK) about that .... A sunday without a cherry. A bath without water. Sex with the clothes still on... But that is just an opinion.... What's yours and why or why not.
Is kissing more intimate than placing your mouth on some ones reproductive parts? Is kissing more intimate than putting your genitalia or to have someone put their genitalia in yours? Oral sex and intercourse, in my opinion is much more intimate than kissing. Prostitutes used to have a thing about kissing since they basically did everything ot anything else with multiple partners and kissing and then french kissing were reserved for their partner....husband, BF, or SO. I think that the early wife swappers of the 50's, yes 50's and 60's were into swapping for the thrill of sex with someone other than their mates and because it really started in the military, mostly officers, who didn't know if they would get another chance to let it all hang out. Kissing was a way of getting warmed up before the sex.... So my best guess is that the no klissing thing is something relatively new to the swing scene... I have no idea why some people have this thing about no kissing...or how it started in the first place.
Yes people have their preferences and yes they are entitled to those preferences, But, to this uninformed and slightly out of date man........These people are missing, at least, half the fun of swinging.. Remember your first girlfriend or boyfriend????? Remember what got you all excited..physically? What it was that got you to the point of petting.... Or even further? If you are over 35 ...maybe 40 it was kissing and oral sex was a bit later... maybe college...maybe the late 60's or early 70's oral sex really got into the common sexual repertoire. So NO kissing???? Ok? But is there something missing for both you and the perons you have sex with???? Thimk (yes THIMK) about that .... A sunday without a cherry. A bath without water. Sex with the clothes still on... But that is just an opinion.... What's yours and why or why not.
When we first started out in the lifestyle I (the wife) felt more comfortable without the kissing. It was an intimate act for me and still is. However at first sharing myslef was a bit different and we had to take baby steps. One thing to get used to at a time. I feel it might be a bit overwhelming to share eveything all at once for a beginner and that is why they may say no kissing.
Society didn't help much in that area either. Yes I watch romances and want to have that romance stuff (even to this day) with my husbund. Kissing is a big part of it. The feeling of being connected with another person by lips for me is very intimate. When I don't get it, it is more of a fuck then making love.
Also to bring up the fact that I was raised on Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty where the kiss meant everything and was from the one you were going to spend the rest of your life with. Yes you can call me a dreamer in that area and I will always be that way.
We do the kissing part now because it is more of a turn on and it is very different kissing another man than it is kissing my husbund. I don't feel as connected with the other man or woman as I do with my husbund. It took actuaully trying the kissing with another sex partner besides my husbund to find that out and that was a big step for me..... taken years and years ago.
In point I am saying I understand the need to not want the kissing to be shared because we have been there ourselves but on the other habd they don't know what they are missing out on if they don't try it.
Tasha
Society didn't help much in that area either. Yes I watch romances and want to have that romance stuff (even to this day) with my husbund. Kissing is a big part of it. The feeling of being connected with another person by lips for me is very intimate. When I don't get it, it is more of a fuck then making love.
Also to bring up the fact that I was raised on Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty where the kiss meant everything and was from the one you were going to spend the rest of your life with. Yes you can call me a dreamer in that area and I will always be that way.
We do the kissing part now because it is more of a turn on and it is very different kissing another man than it is kissing my husbund. I don't feel as connected with the other man or woman as I do with my husbund. It took actuaully trying the kissing with another sex partner besides my husbund to find that out and that was a big step for me..... taken years and years ago.
In point I am saying I understand the need to not want the kissing to be shared because we have been there ourselves but on the other habd they don't know what they are missing out on if they don't try it.
Tasha
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<b>XPLORR94248,</b>
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Remember....
du essen nichts, wenn die Hitze zu viel ist. lol As far as the thread goes... Our position is this. SITUATION DICTATES. Meaning, we do what we feel comfortable with, given the situation we are in. I would also like to suggest to ADMIN a way to search the forum. That way we don't keep bringing up the same subjects every two days. Most people do not want to sift through all the forums to make sure that the subject hasn't been brought up before.
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<b>XPLORR94248,</b>
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Remember....
du essen nichts, wenn die Hitze zu viel ist. lol As far as the thread goes... Our position is this. SITUATION DICTATES. Meaning, we do what we feel comfortable with, given the situation we are in. I would also like to suggest to ADMIN a way to search the forum. That way we don't keep bringing up the same subjects every two days. Most people do not want to sift through all the forums to make sure that the subject hasn't been brought up before.
<br>
<br>
<br>
<font color="#000000" face="brush script MT" size="5"><b>-Don-</b></font>
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<i>"Ich habe einen kleinen Vogel in meinem Kopf." </i></font><br>
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We used to have a "no MF mouth kissing" rule. Just goes back to what the original poster said about intimacy, romance, etc. We are not looking for "intimacy and romance" in our play partners. I do not agree that placing one's mouth another's genitals is more intimate. Hell, think about a glory hole...is that INTIMATE??? LOL (not that we are into glory holes, mind you, nothing against those who are, just not our thing).
We always had lots of fun in our encounters, even without the kissing. I even had the other woman of a couple we had played with tell me she thought the no kissing was really hot...a little temptation she couldn't have, sometimes that ups the sexual tension a bit. Anyway, after several years of playing by that rule, we decided to give kissing a try. And found that it really wasn't that big of a deal - ha ha. Not sure it really added THAT much to the fun, but it certainly didn't take away And I will admit it takes away the awkwardness when someone did try to kiss because they forgot about our rule in the heat of the moment. Now we like it, sure, but we would still have just as much fun without it.
Nice thing about it now is, we don't NEED it to have fun and won't have to rule someone out because of it.
We always had lots of fun in our encounters, even without the kissing. I even had the other woman of a couple we had played with tell me she thought the no kissing was really hot...a little temptation she couldn't have, sometimes that ups the sexual tension a bit. Anyway, after several years of playing by that rule, we decided to give kissing a try. And found that it really wasn't that big of a deal - ha ha. Not sure it really added THAT much to the fun, but it certainly didn't take away
And I will admit it takes away the awkwardness when someone did try to kiss because they forgot about our rule in the heat of the moment. Now we like it, sure, but we would still have just as much fun without it. Nice thing about it now is, we don't NEED it to have fun and won't have to rule someone out because of it.
Most erotic for us is kissing between us while other parts are engaged elsewhere. Going beyond kissing, there's a level of enjoyment in tasting each other on someone else's lips. Mmmmm.
Did you lick your lips?
Did you lick your lips?
We started off with a no kissing rule. Then we tried a girl-girl kissing is ok rule. But when things would get hot enough we eventually found ourselves breaking the "no swap kissing rule" and wondering why the hell we had the rule to start with!!! Kissing can take the intensity way up and is just wonderful!
Kisses to you all!
NOTACROWD
Kisses to you all!
NOTACROWD
This is why we were originally thinking of doing a swinging video of our transition. When we started out, we did'nt allow kissing. Then we figured out that it is kinda hard not too. Generally, I would say when dealing with new to swing couples, you should probably ask, people that have had a few diverse experiences have probably already gotten past the hangup.
kissing is as much a part of sex, as the intercourse. We are a very close and loving couple, but have never ruled out kissing. But if another couple told us that was there rule, we would respect it. Too each there own.
there are plenty of people that start out with all sorts of rules ...
No kissing was one of ours too, She dictated it. I was fine with it, but it soon went by the wayside. as was stated above, if you are going to use your mouth on all of the other parts of the human anatomy.. its a bit of a paradox, to say not the mouth..
No kissing was one of ours too, She dictated it. I was fine with it, but it soon went by the wayside. as was stated above, if you are going to use your mouth on all of the other parts of the human anatomy.. its a bit of a paradox, to say not the mouth..