After this past Friday, I am dying to know how much your friends and family know about your lifestyle choice. Friday night, my friend and I went to one of his co-workers house for a drink and maybe some adult fun, depending on how things went, no expectations. These people were a blast and it wasn't long before we ended up in the hot tub with our drinks. Nothing was going on when suddenly their 15 year old daughter came home early from some outing and sat down in the chair next to the tub to talk with mom not even fazed by total strangers sitting in the tub naked. A minute or so later, mom hopped out of the tub and went inside with her to do something. I felt a little bit uncomfortable. Being naked around the house when I lived with my parents was no big deal, we even went to the nude beach together when we all lived in SD, but that was about it.
Friends, most yes.
Family, no.
Co-workers...why???
-K_T
Family, no.
Co-workers...why???
-K_T
Our families have no idea of our hobby (least we don't think so), and never will...we are not ashamed of it, there is just no need for them to know. We have given some thought to what we'd do if the found out, and finally decided that we'd cross that bridge when we had to.
T and V
T and V
Here is our view.....
Our sex life is private, what we choose to do within our sex lives is private also. We choose not to tell our family members because it is just none of their beez wax, it is personal, and private to us. Most ppl wouldn't understand it especially my family. Stitch's family, well....they probably wouldn't be shocked to hear it, but we still don't wanna share with them. We do have vanilla friends (not many though, we aren't social butterflies, we only make friends with swingers....lol) but we don't share with them our choice to swing. It's just a personal choice we have not to share. It isnt that we are ashamed or that we think this lifestyle is something to be ashamed of......we just think it is something best left between us. Just as what we do together in our own bedroom is private and personal so is our choice to swing. We are good friends with the ppl we work with, but they are all on a needta know basis, and they just don't needta know any of it.
Our kids are to young right now, but as they get older we will just haveta be more careful. We dont' want them knowing about it either. There again, it just comes back to....I wouldn't share with my kids what dad and I did in our bedroom the night b4, so why would I share with them about our choice to swing. It is private and between us as a married couple.
Our sex life is private, what we choose to do within our sex lives is private also. We choose not to tell our family members because it is just none of their beez wax, it is personal, and private to us. Most ppl wouldn't understand it especially my family. Stitch's family, well....they probably wouldn't be shocked to hear it, but we still don't wanna share with them. We do have vanilla friends (not many though, we aren't social butterflies, we only make friends with swingers....lol) but we don't share with them our choice to swing. It's just a personal choice we have not to share. It isnt that we are ashamed or that we think this lifestyle is something to be ashamed of......we just think it is something best left between us. Just as what we do together in our own bedroom is private and personal so is our choice to swing. We are good friends with the ppl we work with, but they are all on a needta know basis, and they just don't needta know any of it.
Our kids are to young right now, but as they get older we will just haveta be more careful. We dont' want them knowing about it either. There again, it just comes back to....I wouldn't share with my kids what dad and I did in our bedroom the night b4, so why would I share with them about our choice to swing. It is private and between us as a married couple.
Close friends probably a hint, we are pretty sexual. Never discussed it would not want to make any of them uncomfortable...
Friends and Business associates NO WAY
Family again NO way.... They would not understand, and we would be very uncomfortable if your kids knew. Do not want to cause them any stress....
But do understand to each their own and whatever works for them is great.
Michele and Clay
Friends and Business associates NO WAY
Family again NO way.... They would not understand, and we would be very uncomfortable if your kids knew. Do not want to cause them any stress....
But do understand to each their own and whatever works for them is great.
Michele and Clay
OK this is a touchy subject for a lot of people and if you live in Utah it is even more so, But it is a subject to which your situation might warrant it, There was a report on 20/20 called it is just sex and was about the best report I have ever seen, They interviewed several couples that went to swinger clubs and to the lifestyle convention, They found out that the lifestyle is growing by the thousands and when they talked to a couple about telling the kids, They said yes they were all old enough to understand and that most kids were more into sex than than the parent's knew, But they were older and knew the safety aspect and the friendships with like minded couples.They did not hide things from the kids and when they going out and when they did not want anyone popping in, But as a friendship developed they could take there families all to parks and did other activities as friends. Now we all realize
Both our kids know ....they are ages 27 and 23 . We felt it was better to tell them than have them find out on their own. They are both very computer oriented and would have found out on their own eventually.
Their thoughts were "kewl , but not for us." They are both a lil jealous when it comes to their b/f or g/f.
This way we dont have to worry about sneaking around or not have any fun when our friends are around.
If we are having play friends over then boy stays away and daughter will go stay with friends.
All our play friends know that our kids know and they know that our kids try not to be around when we are having a "playtime".
Their thoughts were "kewl , but not for us." They are both a lil jealous when it comes to their b/f or g/f.
This way we dont have to worry about sneaking around or not have any fun when our friends are around.
If we are having play friends over then boy stays away and daughter will go stay with friends.
All our play friends know that our kids know and they know that our kids try not to be around when we are having a "playtime".
Have any of you ever been "discovered" by friends or family? Yikes, what did you do? When I was sitll in school - GO UCSD !! - in SD, lots of us used to hang out on Blacks Beach which is a nude beach and was just below the cliffs at school. It was pretty common to run into people from school even a prof or TA once in awhile, but that was pretty laid back. Especially when the weather was great and the classes sucked which was ALWAYZZZZ. We could literally walk from campus to the beach so it was so tempting to sluff. No idea how I made it thru !
Our very FIRST experience ever with this lifestyle was down in Vegas. We figured we were out and away from our home town, which mind you at the time, was a small small town where everyone new everyone, and everyone's business. Anyway, we went to Vegas for a night on the town and thought we might go to the Red Rooster and ck it out. I was extremely nervous anyhow because we had never done anything of the sort, and we didn't know what to expect when we went inside. We mustard up the nerve to go in, and went on upstairs to the couples lounge. Just as I was getting comfortable with being there I look up only to see a girl and her husband from none only then our own home town. She new all my family, and to make it worse she lived right by my husband's brother, and I worked at the same store she did just in different departments. I was mortified the whole night long.....I just kept thinking....OMG, here we are, never done this b4, 400 miles from home, at the Red Rooster, and we run into someone that we freaken know. What are the odds??!! The worst part of it, she has the LOUDEST mouth in the whole valley so I just knew she was gonna tell everyone she seen me there at a swingers club. lol Thats just our luck! Needless to say, we got home, I seen her at work, and she said nothing at all. Our family didn't find out, no one we knew found out, and from then on....I just really didn't care that much. Bsides, they were there too....so, I had something on them as well!
Friends, yes.
Family, some.
Co-workers, most.
Poet,
Friend, yes.
Family, some.
Co-workers, no.
Dawn.
Family, some.
Co-workers, most.
Poet,
Friend, yes.
Family, some.
Co-workers, no.
Dawn.
Our 23 year old daughter figured it out, when our son kept telling her we were going to some convention here in town....she looked to see what conventions were in Vegas that week and put two and two together. We also have friends who arent swingers that know.
We dont mind telling people but we're selective about who we mention it openly to, just because some people just dont get it.
We dont mind telling people but we're selective about who we mention it openly to, just because some people just dont get it.
Our families don't know because there is no need for them to know. Our close friends know because we are open with them but are still selective in who we tell. Because of our professions we don't put up face pics on our profile and that minimizes the chance of anyone connecting us to the profile. However, if they were to realize it was us, our first question to them would be why they were on the sites or looking at the profiles anyway. :-) I think we all have our reservations in this lifestyle because so many people judge us. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to be something that will change anytime soon.
This is a hard one to start with. Most of are friends and family knows that we are in the life stile and I don
Now wait a minute here... Whoa... !!! It's really nice how everybody is letting us all know who knows about you know BUT didn't I see mentioned that their daughter was 15...??? GET A GRIP HERE PEOPLE...
15 YEARS OLD...??? Am I the only one that sees the unbelievably obvious...??? Here it is in simple words "She's a MINOR"...!!!!!!!!!!!! People go to jail for stuff like this...!!! Let's see... I suppose the daughter was 420 friendly as well... The lifestyle is GREAT, and I'm all for being honest with your kids but when their daughter just "accidentally" showed up, not only did it raise a good question with them but it also is a flag to possibly a more complex dynamic at work there... Let's do the math...Swinging Parents + 15 year old daughter(who knows it all)+Playing that night(daughter somewhere else perhaps)+Daughter shows up and makes our friend feel uncomfortable = Something is not right with this situation...!!! She's a MINOR...!!! Sheese...!!!
(p.s. A minor is anyone under 18 just in case anybody forgot)
15 YEARS OLD...??? Am I the only one that sees the unbelievably obvious...??? Here it is in simple words "She's a MINOR"...!!!!!!!!!!!! People go to jail for stuff like this...!!! Let's see... I suppose the daughter was 420 friendly as well... The lifestyle is GREAT, and I'm all for being honest with your kids but when their daughter just "accidentally" showed up, not only did it raise a good question with them but it also is a flag to possibly a more complex dynamic at work there... Let's do the math...Swinging Parents + 15 year old daughter(who knows it all)+Playing that night(daughter somewhere else perhaps)+Daughter shows up and makes our friend feel uncomfortable = Something is not right with this situation...!!! She's a MINOR...!!! Sheese...!!!
(p.s. A minor is anyone under 18 just in case anybody forgot)
Oh, by the way... We too were discovered... That's why we took most of our photos down... just an fyi
Oh, by the way... We too were discovered... That's why we took most of our photos down... just an fyi
oops... how did that happen...???
One our first playmate couple let their three adult daughters know about their lifestyle. One daughter was ambivalent, one was disgusted and one started writing sex novels, embraced the life style and we think we saw her in a porno flick. We think family does not need to know.
Some of our family &
HER........... has no kids and family lives far away. Don't think they would understand if they knew.
HIM........ 30 year old daughter knows and 22 year old son knows. It is really not an issue, but I think the son thinks we are a little sick. That is nothing new since I have never hidden the fact that I am a little "out there" in relation to our society's so-called "values."
Most of our friends know, and we don't hide it from others. We are certainly not ashamed of it, and are quite happy that we both are so open-minded.
Something very funny happened recently when my daughter was here this summer. I was showing her some pics on the puter (vanilla pics), and accidently clicked on one of Barb doing the oral wild thang. She was like..... " OMG Dad, I'll never get that picture out of my mind!" I never told her it was not my cock. LOL.
HIM........ 30 year old daughter knows and 22 year old son knows. It is really not an issue, but I think the son thinks we are a little sick. That is nothing new since I have never hidden the fact that I am a little "out there" in relation to our society's so-called "values."
Most of our friends know, and we don't hide it from others. We are certainly not ashamed of it, and are quite happy that we both are so open-minded.
Something very funny happened recently when my daughter was here this summer. I was showing her some pics on the puter (vanilla pics), and accidently clicked on one of Barb doing the oral wild thang. She was like..... " OMG Dad, I'll never get that picture out of my mind!" I never told her it was not my cock. LOL.
If the don't like it,
LMAO, Don.....thats funny shit!
mr recon's family = no
work = everybody, and so far some of the co-working girls, have been out with us several times
friends = yes
mrs recon's parents = no, but she does have one sister, and one brother and thier spouse on this site...
friends = no
work = only 1 single girl knows, and she was recruited....lol
work = everybody, and so far some of the co-working girls, have been out with us several times
friends = yes
mrs recon's parents = no, but she does have one sister, and one brother and thier spouse on this site...
friends = no
work = only 1 single girl knows, and she was recruited....lol
Im laughing my ass off,
him, family-no, friends-most are in the lifestyle so I think they know,coworkers-a few.
her, family-most know,friends-most know, coworkers-most know,
our children know as we try not to hide anything from them, but we don't give details either, and we do not bring playmates home( at the children's request! not that we would while they are still home)
her, family-most know,friends-most know, coworkers-most know,
our children know as we try not to hide anything from them, but we don't give details either, and we do not bring playmates home( at the children's request! not that we would while they are still home)
Some friends know - cause they are also open to different lifestyles - not necessarily living it but open to it.
Family doesn't know but think if parents on both sides found out they would handle it ok. Her parents may have soft swapped when they were younger - just wont fess up to it.
Coworkers - some know but don't necessarily beleive that it really can work. More so cause they know that it wouldn't work for them because of jealousy.
A few of you have said your sex life is private and it should be shared only with whom you feel comfortable sharing it with. The two of us have no issues letting others know about our lifestyle but we only share with those that we feel can handle it.
Family doesn't know but think if parents on both sides found out they would handle it ok. Her parents may have soft swapped when they were younger - just wont fess up to it.
Coworkers - some know but don't necessarily beleive that it really can work. More so cause they know that it wouldn't work for them because of jealousy.
A few of you have said your sex life is private and it should be shared only with whom you feel comfortable sharing it with. The two of us have no issues letting others know about our lifestyle but we only share with those that we feel can handle it.
Friends:: The only friends we have are in this lifestyle.
ult daughter knows
I am not going to get into opinions of wheither its wrong or right, instead, I am just going to answer the basic question of who knows.. and who cares...
Our daughter, (26 and married) found our profile on this sight one day just goofing off with some friends. She recognized her mothers hair and our harley even though we had made efforts to somewhat hide anything that would make it easy to identify us. She and her husband confronted us in a very teasing manner, let us know they had found out our secret and with a mature attitude simply said.. "its your business, not ours. Just dont tell us about what you do or who you do it with." Since she isnt into lifestyles, we all agreed that would be the best way to keep it.
We have also been discovered once by a fellow employee. Their profile was very generic to begin with and they didnt identify themselves at first leaving us in a state of panic. (Cyn and I both work together for the same extremely conservative company, being exposed in lifestyles ultimately would mean termination). For a few days our hearts raced and we even deleted information and photos from our profile to protect our privacy and to keep from being exposed any further. Finally the employee revealed themself to us, and with a sigh of relief we shared our feelings and even spent a few intimate encounters together.
We do all we can to avoid being exposed especially to family and co-workers because we fear the retribution that not only we would encounter, but the abuse and predjuicies our children would face. Perhaps later on in our life when our children have all moved out, and we can retire to an area where people are not quite as judgemental and conservative, we will relax a bit, and enjoy what life has to offer without constantly looking backwards to see if someone is peeking through the keyhole at us.
Our daughter, (26 and married) found our profile on this sight one day just goofing off with some friends. She recognized her mothers hair and our harley even though we had made efforts to somewhat hide anything that would make it easy to identify us. She and her husband confronted us in a very teasing manner, let us know they had found out our secret and with a mature attitude simply said.. "its your business, not ours. Just dont tell us about what you do or who you do it with." Since she isnt into lifestyles, we all agreed that would be the best way to keep it.
We have also been discovered once by a fellow employee. Their profile was very generic to begin with and they didnt identify themselves at first leaving us in a state of panic. (Cyn and I both work together for the same extremely conservative company, being exposed in lifestyles ultimately would mean termination). For a few days our hearts raced and we even deleted information and photos from our profile to protect our privacy and to keep from being exposed any further. Finally the employee revealed themself to us, and with a sigh of relief we shared our feelings and even spent a few intimate encounters together.
We do all we can to avoid being exposed especially to family and co-workers because we fear the retribution that not only we would encounter, but the abuse and predjuicies our children would face. Perhaps later on in our life when our children have all moved out, and we can retire to an area where people are not quite as judgemental and conservative, we will relax a bit, and enjoy what life has to offer without constantly looking backwards to see if someone is peeking through the keyhole at us.
Hi Everyone!
Most of my friends know... the real ones anyway
Family has an idea - they call me their free spirit sister...lol. Co workers.. no reason.
When we were at the Meet this past weekend, my guy ran into a co worker. Really, we just laughed it off and by the end of the night the guy was groping everyone... LOL
Siren - too funny. My ex? He's here with his new gal. It's all good....
-Te
Most of my friends know... the real ones anyway
Family has an idea - they call me their free spirit sister...lol. Co workers.. no reason.When we were at the Meet this past weekend, my guy ran into a co worker. Really, we just laughed it off and by the end of the night the guy was groping everyone... LOL
Siren - too funny. My ex? He's here with his new gal.
It's all good.... -Te
Friends - yes
Co-Workers - some do most dont
Family - oldest daughter does not really a big deal
Co-Workers - some do most dont
Family - oldest daughter does not really a big deal
Who knows?
My bro - It wasn't difficult, we mentioned to him that we were going to jackpot, Nevada and he wondered why we would go pretty far in Nevada for our rare vacation days. Anyways, somehow he put the two and two together - figured we did something.
So while Angel and me was talking' to him, my bro was ranting about how morals are insane and that we aren't too uptight about it. I asked how so - "you guys are swingers, ain't you?"
We admitted to it and in process, found out that he had a role in a porno as an boyfriend that helped his girlfriend to be wild, plus a bunch of other stuff.
My boss - Yeah, we were joking around about our wife is hotter and whatnot. Anyways, this was before we were really into swinging. I remembered that angel wondered what it is like to do some bisexual stuff. he knew a girl that's really into doing that and it went from there.
That's about it. Everyone else doesn't know. We're kinda new to this (5 months so far.)
My bro - It wasn't difficult, we mentioned to him that we were going to jackpot, Nevada and he wondered why we would go pretty far in Nevada for our rare vacation days. Anyways, somehow he put the two and two together - figured we did something.
So while Angel and me was talking' to him, my bro was ranting about how morals are insane and that we aren't too uptight about it. I asked how so - "you guys are swingers, ain't you?"
We admitted to it and in process, found out that he had a role in a porno as an boyfriend that helped his girlfriend to be wild, plus a bunch of other stuff.
My boss - Yeah, we were joking around about our wife is hotter and whatnot. Anyways, this was before we were really into swinging. I remembered that angel wondered what it is like to do some bisexual stuff. he knew a girl that's really into doing that and it went from there.
That's about it. Everyone else doesn't know. We're kinda new to this (5 months so far.)
As far as we're concerned, no one knows except for those who need to know, as in the ppl we get together with or see at parties.
Had to add more change to the pot...
You really do have to be a bit careful about how you let people know and how you handle family. Yes, I have an Ex or two...yes, both of them have been involved in swinging. However when there are kids involved in the marriages? It can get ugly if there's divorce and there was swinging.
My advice? Just be careful around your kids. Don't expose them to this...not even in an "innocent" "Hey these are my kids! Aren't they cute!" sort of way. You never know where you're going to be a year, 5 years from now.
So...if they're older and find out (It's happened to me and my Ex...) then you deal with it in an adult manner and hope for the best.
As for family and co-workers...well..good luck.
K_T
:z :z
You really do have to be a bit careful about how you let people know and how you handle family. Yes, I have an Ex or two...yes, both of them have been involved in swinging. However when there are kids involved in the marriages? It can get ugly if there's divorce and there was swinging.
My advice? Just be careful around your kids. Don't expose them to this...not even in an "innocent" "Hey these are my kids! Aren't they cute!" sort of way. You never know where you're going to be a year, 5 years from now.
So...if they're older and find out (It's happened to me and my Ex...) then you deal with it in an adult manner and hope for the best.
As for family and co-workers...well..good luck.
K_T
:z :z
Its funny that this post came out, I was swimming laps last night at the pool in town, and the lifeguard came up to me and started telling me how she heard there was a swingers community in Blackfoot, and how what a wild town its becoming.
well....... friends, select few
Family, no
coworkes, no
Family, no
coworkes, no
Most of our friends know whether they are into it or not. Even if they are "vanilla" we don't mind if they know. Just because they do know about our dirty little things dosen't mean they have to participate in anyway. We figure that if they are our friends they will accept us for who we are and what we do just as we woud accept them. Most of the hubby's co-workers know, but that's because he works with mostly guys and likes to brag that his hot wife brings home something extra every now and then. Wifey dosen't talk to co-workers about it. As far as family goes, some know, mostly from coming across our profiles from other sites, but we don't call each other on the weekend and talk about it. His family wouldn't really care, Her familiy would be a little different. Like others have said, to each their own. If you want to discuss then do it, if you like to keep your dirty little secrets to yourself then that's your choice, sometimes it's funner that way anyhow.
Our close friends know about our lifestyle, but they respect it, they respect us, and we never kiss and tell.
I sooooo agree that what you do with your life is your business , however, we all know that ths lifestyle is not practiced by the majority. The ones who do not criticize those of us that do, but only for one reason....BECAUSE THEY ARE JEALOUS ! Ha!
We have not and have no desires to tell our families about our lifestyle choices. Though we are fairly sure they have a notion (kind of hard to explain the frequency of PVC fetish gear being worn by the wife to my folks when dropping off the kiddos for babysitting.) Although we have a sneaking suspicion/nightmare that we may actually run into at a LS event.
The chip doesn
The chip doesn
FamilY: her brother knows. Him and his g/f have had a 3 some before and both have swinger on their myspace page. Her cousins may have an idea.
Friends: Most have an idea b/c they see how "wild" we are and we are very open.
Co-Workers: Well im unemployed right now, but i think some of her coworkers know we are very "wild"
Friends: Most have an idea b/c they see how "wild" we are and we are very open.
Co-Workers: Well im unemployed right now, but i think some of her coworkers know we are very "wild"
Friends? No
Coworkers? No
Family? Hell no!
Our neighborhood is very conservative. Yes, this is Utah, I know that's the norm, but trust me, our neighborhood is beyond the norms.
Coworkers? Not a topic that comes up for him, and I don't work so it's a non-issue.
Family? Not on your life. Religious zealots abound and I would not put it past a few of them to try and cause some serious problems for us were they to find out.
It's kind of isolating... A friend once told me that everyone leads a double life. Some are just very adept at keeping it under wraps. I guess he wasn't as wrong as I thought..
Ali
Coworkers? No
Family? Hell no!
Our neighborhood is very conservative. Yes, this is Utah, I know that's the norm, but trust me, our neighborhood is beyond the norms.
Coworkers? Not a topic that comes up for him, and I don't work so it's a non-issue.
Family? Not on your life. Religious zealots abound and I would not put it past a few of them to try and cause some serious problems for us were they to find out.
It's kind of isolating... A friend once told me that everyone leads a double life. Some are just very adept at keeping it under wraps. I guess he wasn't as wrong as I thought..
Ali
My daughter knows and thinks its cool, but then shes 22 and can deside for herself whats right and wrong for her. Rest of the family?...Its our life although my mother in law would die...
Co-workers, that subject never comes up so we dont go there.
Friends lol they are on here as well
Its a matter of opion for everyone, some deal with it better than others. Some think its kinky. to use its only kinky the 1st time around, after that its "more please" We live our life to what makes "us" happy if it makes you or anyone elce edgy well then thats your problem, get over it!
D and A
Co-workers, that subject never comes up so we dont go there.
Friends lol they are on here as well
Its a matter of opion for everyone, some deal with it better than others. Some think its kinky. to use its only kinky the 1st time around, after that its "more please"
We live our life to what makes "us" happy if it makes you or anyone elce edgy well then thats your problem, get over it!D and A
None of our friends know, except our friends in the lifestyle. My kids??? No way... all over the age of consent but very closed minded... The lived with their mother who felt that sex was for kinky people...LOL. When my oldest daughter came out and told me she was a lesbian I told her that we had something in common. (she's in her late thirties and was in her early 30's at the time.) She asked what that was and I told her that it had to do with sex..... She promptly told me that was more than she wanted to know. My oldest is a male and 42. He doesn't seem to care what we do. All of my siblings are scattered around the country. My 2 sisters are both religious fanatics, one Catholic and one Basic Baptist) Two of my brothers is so messed up relationship wise, that I don't think they care if we dated one eyed african zebras. My last brother is so right wing both politically as well as his religious views that he calls men fags, if they're gay and women who are bi or lesbian are queers and perverts...
I guess if someone asked, who we were friends with, we'd tell them. People who have a need to know will find out... Those who do not have a need to know will not be told.. BTW that's anyone...
I guess if someone asked, who we were friends with, we'd tell them. People who have a need to know will find out... Those who do not have a need to know will not be told.. BTW that's anyone...
All I have to say is its our Lifestyle... Not my familys.
Most of are frineds are Swingers....
I have nothing to hide, all of my family are LDS and if they found out i was a Swinger, they would probley never talk to me agian. But if i have to except that there LDS, why cant they except that we are swingers...IT SHOULD WORK THAT WAY,BUT IT NEVER WILL...
The only one i dont want to find out is my son, and right now hes to young, but i dont want playing in front of him. Hes only 2 yrs old but i dont want it to be confuseing for him...I will tell him when hes older. My non- LDS family knows that we are, and they can really care less..
as for everyone else if they find out, Oh Well....
Most of are frineds are Swingers....
I have nothing to hide, all of my family are LDS and if they found out i was a Swinger, they would probley never talk to me agian. But if i have to except that there LDS, why cant they except that we are swingers...IT SHOULD WORK THAT WAY,BUT IT NEVER WILL...
The only one i dont want to find out is my son, and right now hes to young, but i dont want playing in front of him. Hes only 2 yrs old but i dont want it to be confuseing for him...I will tell him when hes older. My non- LDS family knows that we are, and they can really care less..
as for everyone else if they find out, Oh Well....
I found this thread timely, as I just had my first "scare" with being found out by my snooping sister. Instead of typing in Myspace.com she decided to go to the history of our computer and came across Swingular. Curiousity won and she went there, where the opening page shouts "Swingers". She promptly came into the family room where the rest of the family was engaged in prebirthday celebrating and said "anything new?" staring right at me. I of course had NO clue what she meant, to which she proceeded to ask if we were swingers. The only thing that made everyone else in the room tune out is that she started ranting about how 'ever since she's moved she's out of the loop and all hell's broken loose... I sell sex toys, my brother drinks, my sister's stopped going to church (can I call her a self righteous bitch?) Probably good to note here that we all grew up Mormon and now four of the five kids have shaken off the brainwashing in adulthood... thankfully we all just ignored her and I made up some line about my girlfriend having me look up some guy she was dating and dropped it. I spent the rest of the day with my insides in a knot wondering just how much she saw... the saved usernames, did she enter the site and look around? Needless to say that night we removed our public photos and I was in a panic. By morning my panic had turned to rage. Why did I feel the need to run and hide, why should I need to defend myself?! My hubby and I have been married for going on 16 years, 7 of which have been spent in the lifestyle. We are the happiest we've ever been. Our vanilla friends, who have no clue that we practice sex as a team sport, all ask us what our secret to such a happy marriage is. They can see that we have something special. Needless to say, I put the pics back up on the profile the next day. Let 'em look for us. I love my life, I love the sex that is a big part of it, and I wouldn't change a thing. I'm still not standing up at family parties to announce my choices, but I wouldn't stand up and talk about my marital bed anyway. What I do naked is my business and my husbands, that's what counts. I'm proud to be in such a committed and honest relationship. They should all try it! Maybe they'd use less prozac and smile more often!
Tricia
btw, I feel grateful that I have 2 friends outside of the lifestyle that know what we do. They are valuable to me and prove that they are true friends leaving the rest as just 'people we know' Besides, having a wingman now and then is helpful! Thanks for sharing in my babble...
Tricia
btw, I feel grateful that I have 2 friends outside of the lifestyle that know what we do. They are valuable to me and prove that they are true friends leaving the rest as just 'people we know' Besides, having a wingman now and then is helpful! Thanks for sharing in my babble...
i sure woulnt consider us in a lifestyle, cuz we hardly ever get laid. nobody really seems very serious about meeting.
Well... does our families know?
12 years ago Kelly and I went to our first swingers party. I was nervous and it was made worse by seeing my mothers boyfirend there with his wife. No my mother did not know he was married. Am I going to go tell on this asshole..... no. He told on me!! My mother came alll the way into to Salt Lake (which she has only done 3 times in the 13 years I have lived in Salt Lake) to give me a rash of shit over it and explained that was the reason her and my dad got a divorce (I assume he wanted to do it and she didn't). She said the Kelly and I were going to end up the same way. I of course told her it was a one time thing and we didn't plan on ever going to another party. I know how very small this world is, and it is very small, I like to think that I have kept it secret enough that the only people who knew were fellow swingers and the ones I have elected to tell.
Do my friends know?
Well I have a good friend who I have told yes.... but the operative word being GOOD friend... and her and her hubby have decided to give it a try. See if they like the extra spice. In a snese if I tell someone I end up promoting the lifestyle.... but it is very few that I have told.
Do co-workers know?
I say only the sexy guys at my job know.... and I mean the really sexy guys... with the brown eyes and brown hair and mustache and goatee and a dick that knows how to pleasure me.
12 years ago Kelly and I went to our first swingers party. I was nervous and it was made worse by seeing my mothers boyfirend there with his wife. No my mother did not know he was married. Am I going to go tell on this asshole..... no. He told on me!! My mother came alll the way into to Salt Lake (which she has only done 3 times in the 13 years I have lived in Salt Lake) to give me a rash of shit over it and explained that was the reason her and my dad got a divorce (I assume he wanted to do it and she didn't). She said the Kelly and I were going to end up the same way. I of course told her it was a one time thing and we didn't plan on ever going to another party. I know how very small this world is, and it is very small, I like to think that I have kept it secret enough that the only people who knew were fellow swingers and the ones I have elected to tell.
Do my friends know?
Well I have a good friend who I have told yes.... but the operative word being GOOD friend... and her and her hubby have decided to give it a try. See if they like the extra spice. In a snese if I tell someone I end up promoting the lifestyle.... but it is very few that I have told.
Do co-workers know?
I say only the sexy guys at my job know.... and I mean the really sexy guys... with the brown eyes and brown hair and mustache and goatee and a dick that knows how to pleasure me.
WoW, What a great topic...
So, here is our story..
<B>Our families...</B> For the most part No.. We tried to keep it discreet, but years ago when we were doing the whole AOL thing, my brother bounced on when we were in a chat room, and IMed ... What are we doing in the room we were, or some shit.. And of course the room was something like Upstate NY couples.. We BSed him and left it at that, but over the years there have been a few times he has given the look.. We keep it from our kids , the oldest figured it out years ago, while he was still living at home. He has never made much of a comment about it..
<B>Our friends..</B> For the most part Hell no.. we learned early, before we were offically swinging, we tried a 3some, with a friend.. ANd he was an asshole about it, and took it to mean that he could try just about anything, at anytime.. with her. To make a long story short, the first time he stepped over the line, he was told knock it off, the second, he was written off.. we learned not to include vanilla friends. instead make new ones that are already in the lifestyle, then the "rules" are well known.
<B> Co Workers..</B> When I was working , a few figured it out but kept it quiet.. then we moved.. And a few co workers at her new job found us.. this led to quite a few propositions, and invites, asking her to cum out and play, not as a cpl but as a single... but the problem with that was.. they didnt get it.. We are in this as a couple, not to play alone.. so.. Wah Wah.. No go Joe..
<U><B> Now time for the soapbox moment.. </B></U>
As i just told you about her co worker finding us.. I explained to my wife, when she freaked over this.. Its no different than going somewhere and finding freinds, family or nieghbors in the midst of wild fun...
they can see you , know you, and TRY to hold it over you.. But remember.. In order for them to TELL on you (what are we freakin 9 yrs old or what) they have to expose themselves too.. So.. bottom line is...
<BIG><B>Joke em if they cant take a fuckin'</B></BIG>
So, here is our story..
<B>Our families...</B> For the most part No.. We tried to keep it discreet, but years ago when we were doing the whole AOL thing, my brother bounced on when we were in a chat room, and IMed ... What are we doing in the room we were, or some shit.. And of course the room was something like Upstate NY couples.. We BSed him and left it at that, but over the years there have been a few times he has given the look.. We keep it from our kids , the oldest figured it out years ago, while he was still living at home. He has never made much of a comment about it..
<B>Our friends..</B> For the most part Hell no.. we learned early, before we were offically swinging, we tried a 3some, with a friend.. ANd he was an asshole about it, and took it to mean that he could try just about anything, at anytime.. with her. To make a long story short, the first time he stepped over the line, he was told knock it off, the second, he was written off.. we learned not to include vanilla friends. instead make new ones that are already in the lifestyle, then the "rules" are well known.
<B> Co Workers..</B> When I was working , a few figured it out but kept it quiet.. then we moved.. And a few co workers at her new job found us.. this led to quite a few propositions, and invites, asking her to cum out and play, not as a cpl but as a single... but the problem with that was.. they didnt get it.. We are in this as a couple, not to play alone.. so.. Wah Wah.. No go Joe..
<U><B> Now time for the soapbox moment.. </B></U>
As i just told you about her co worker finding us.. I explained to my wife, when she freaked over this.. Its no different than going somewhere and finding freinds, family or nieghbors in the midst of wild fun...
they can see you , know you, and TRY to hold it over you.. But remember.. In order for them to TELL on you (what are we freakin 9 yrs old or what) they have to expose themselves too.. So.. bottom line is...
<BIG><B>Joke em if they cant take a fuckin'</B></BIG>
Valance-
We have younger kids and teens at home. We also have two pc's with internet access. They are not allowed on my computer as it also used for my non-profit work, taxes, etc. I don't need it getting messed up. So no worries about mine.
Hubby's pc is open to the kids. But we delete cookies, they have their own account, so no access to his or his favorites. We delete everything daily. There are also parental blocks on their account to keep them from accessing anything we deem inappropriate. hehe
I'm assuming this keeps us safe - but I'm curious as to what you might think? Anything we might be missing?
We have younger kids and teens at home. We also have two pc's with internet access. They are not allowed on my computer as it also used for my non-profit work, taxes, etc. I don't need it getting messed up. So no worries about mine.
Hubby's pc is open to the kids. But we delete cookies, they have their own account, so no access to his or his favorites. We delete everything daily. There are also parental blocks on their account to keep them from accessing anything we deem inappropriate. hehe
I'm assuming this keeps us safe - but I'm curious as to what you might think? Anything we might be missing?
LOL kids are smarter these days than most of us give them credit for?
I would be checking the history too just to make sure they arent bypassing your safe gaurds, sometimes you can get to where you want to go in the web by links that are emailed to you from someone elce, even by accident, and it wont even leave a tracein the history since it was opend in a second window. I dont mean dont trust your kids, but its other kids you need to worry about!
~D~
I would be checking the history too just to make sure they arent bypassing your safe gaurds, sometimes you can get to where you want to go in the web by links that are emailed to you from someone elce, even by accident, and it wont even leave a tracein the history since it was opend in a second window. I dont mean dont trust your kids, but its other kids you need to worry about!
~D~
I hear you. I trust my kids. Other folks kids? Eh, not so much.
I really would like to get the kids pc hooked up for internet, then they have no reason to use hubby's. It's just a matter of running the cable and installing the router, etc. Not a chore, just not sure we want to do that and then have to deal with kids trying to spend too much time online.
Could always rig a timer and if it goes off and the pc is still on, the sucker implodes on itself. HAHAHA *That* would go over well, I'm sure!
I really would like to get the kids pc hooked up for internet, then they have no reason to use hubby's. It's just a matter of running the cable and installing the router, etc. Not a chore, just not sure we want to do that and then have to deal with kids trying to spend too much time online.
Could always rig a timer and if it goes off and the pc is still on, the sucker implodes on itself. HAHAHA *That* would go over well, I'm sure!
Hey I never thought of that one, hmmmm question here is would that be consided abuse know it may cause a little harm? Naaaaa fuck em! I say we do it.... Now lets have a drink!
~D~
Now lets have a drink!~D~
Due to the fact that we're the "youngin's", we get a lot of "why would you do that?", "you are not even old enough to know what you want..." etc... but still most of our friends know, nearly all of them are very cool with it and have thought about joinin us in some fun. Only 1 person in our whole family (both sides) knows about it, that is just because she snooped through our computer. Co-workers, some do.
As for kids, when that time comes for us to have kids and they get older, we'll tell them.
As for kids, when that time comes for us to have kids and they get older, we'll tell them.
Not too preachy at all. Good information!
Thanks!
Thanks!
Our families do not know. If they did, they would freak out.
One sister-in-law seems to suspect something might be afoot, but has never 'caught' us, and hasn't even confronted us with any questions.
Another (now) sister-in-law was actually once our play partner (long before she married into the family)- BUT she doesn't know anything specifically, just that we once fooled around.
I have caught a glimpse of a couple women that look like some of my cousins at various perv-fests, but it has always turned out to be not them.
Other people in our lives (close friends, former students, etc) have discovered us.... with mixed results. Even one of our bosses figured out something, and has asked around, and made a few off-handed comments about it.
One of our neighbors not only figured it out, he came knocking on the front door asking for advice... We gladly obliged, and he and his wife are now fairly active in the swinging scene...
Kids? they are too young. but if/when they come asking, we will honestly answer. They deserve the respect of getting a straight answer on such a heavy question.
One sister-in-law seems to suspect something might be afoot, but has never 'caught' us, and hasn't even confronted us with any questions.
Another (now) sister-in-law was actually once our play partner (long before she married into the family)- BUT she doesn't know anything specifically, just that we once fooled around.
I have caught a glimpse of a couple women that look like some of my cousins at various perv-fests, but it has always turned out to be not them.
Other people in our lives (close friends, former students, etc) have discovered us.... with mixed results. Even one of our bosses figured out something, and has asked around, and made a few off-handed comments about it.
One of our neighbors not only figured it out, he came knocking on the front door asking for advice... We gladly obliged, and he and his wife are now fairly active in the swinging scene...
Kids? they are too young. but if/when they come asking, we will honestly answer. They deserve the respect of getting a straight answer on such a heavy question.