We went to a Swingers Party for the New Year and have to say it was the worse I ever been to. Maybe it was us but I dont think if you go to a swingers party gives anyone the right to stick their tongue in your mouth that you dont know. I saw this going on and thought well alot of people here know eachother. Nope, turns out that wasnt the case. Most seem to enjoy the hellow I am so and so now open your mouth I am coming in. I been in the swing life style for more than 10 years and I dont ever think I put my tongue down anyones wife. And I never had it happen to my wife. So when some guy walks up and within mins of small talk goes after my wife with open mouth the first thing I thought of was to see how she handles it. I know my wife like most of us do. After she let him know that wasnt her thing she turned to me and started to tell me how most the guys acted when I wasnt in eye sight. I wasnt to happen to learn that everything I thought I knew about swingers came to a end. I always went to meet people and if we found a cpl we like took it from there. Didnt know if you attend a swingers party your free game for anyone. I wont attend another party with this group again. So , am I going over board with this or am I in the right?
Picking the right group of people to swing with is a very important part of the lifestyle. I avoid groups that don't know and apply swing etiquette. Rule ONE...No means NO! Rule TWO...No one should touch or kiss another without permission. I'm sure we all have encountered people that don't know the rules (or get so drunk they forget them) but I encourage an optimistic attitude and careful networking to find the swingers you are compatible with.
Shawn posted:
Didnt know if you attend a swingers party your free game for anyone. I wont attend another party with this group again. So , am I going over board with this or am I in the right?
You are not going overboard. Some people just don't have any manners, and need to be set straight, that they need to ask first, not touch first.
As much as I love men, it puts me off, when someone I don't know tries that kind of a move.
A true gentleman, swinger or not, should always ask first before touching!!!
Mrs Fun
Didnt know if you attend a swingers party your free game for anyone. I wont attend another party with this group again. So , am I going over board with this or am I in the right?
You are not going overboard. Some people just don't have any manners, and need to be set straight, that they need to ask first, not touch first.
As much as I love men, it puts me off, when someone I don't know tries that kind of a move.
A true gentleman, swinger or not, should always ask first before touching!!!
Mrs Fun
You should have come down to our party...No one did anythign that was not requested and/or OK'd,,,,
You are a better man than me...If someone did that to my Mrs....They would be toothless as fact as they kissed her like that...No doubt, somone will test me on this one now....Don't recomend it...LOL
Seriously,....They would be trying to figure out how an elbow got that far down their throat...
Males you wonder though.....With all this bashing of single men...were that(ose) guy(s) single or married?
You are a better man than me...If someone did that to my Mrs....They would be toothless as fact as they kissed her like that...No doubt, somone will test me on this one now....Don't recomend it...LOL
Seriously,....They would be trying to figure out how an elbow got that far down their throat...
Males you wonder though.....With all this bashing of single men...were that(ose) guy(s) single or married?
Oh he was married and his wife was doing the same. I didnt see anybody elsa not letting them do what they wanted to do but My gal stopped him in his tracks and I was smiling from ear to ear. I didnt even think about lending him a elbow or whatever till the next day. Thats why I put this post up. I wondered if I should have put a gap in his teeth or if I did the right thing. I second guessed my self the following day. I guess if he didnt take her NO and he moved forward he woulod be wearing a black and blue sumthing but he backed off with his tail between his leg and I couldnt help but laugh at him. Thanks for the replys. And I wont go back to that swingers club no more even if I shouldnt blame the club. I rather stick with private cpl to cpl house parties anyway.
WOW!! some people just have no manners... I wouldn't write off the whole club just because of a few bad apples though..
Just our 2 cents
Just our 2 cents
no one should go further than they are permitted, to be permitted means you must ask permission. A kiss on the cheek is acceptable, but all us must be agreed on. You were the better gentleman, and showed true swinger etiquette by allowing her to handle the situation, and not throwing that forearm to the face.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
After 11+ years swinging I would have let my wife handle it he way. One should never. at any swinging event, be it a house party or a social, ever come to blows with anyone at that party. You can say something to the person who encroached on good manners but if that has no effect or the person wishes to become violent, go to the owners/people throwing the event and let them know... If the bad manners continue simply let the people throwing the event know that you are leaving and for what reason....If these people are not responsible you might wish to let others know that these events are unsupervised and good ediquite is not practiced there.... But let the people who threw the event what you think first... they may take care of the situation, knowint that their reputation is on the line....One does not have to be nasty either just let them know you think it is irresponsible to let that behavior continue...
The no fighting rule or no violence is one of the unnumbered rules of swinging.
The no fighting rule or no violence is one of the unnumbered rules of swinging.
That behavior is WAY out of line! We have been to dozens of parties in several states and only come across a very few people like that. Normally the host will ask them to leave - the majority of couples won't stand for it.
You seem to be a very respectable couple given that you handled the situation with so much dignity. Wish you lived closer to us so we could introduce ourselves!
You seem to be a very respectable couple given that you handled the situation with so much dignity. Wish you lived closer to us so we could introduce ourselves!
first and foremost, boundaries must always be respected and no one ever has the right to do things to another person without their permission.
however, i also acknowledge that at a party where the intention/perception that playing will or is occurring can create some areas of "unknown". it is important to find out what is ok and when it is ok. for some, that means french kissing within the first few minutes, others may not. i have seen different ways that people have tried to find out. the simplest and most direct is to ask. however, i have seen people do so by "testing the waters" - small hug, then a bigger one, then a peck, then a lingering kiss, then french kiss, etc. and at each step trying to "read" the body language of the other.
and i have seen that some people have become so "desensitized" to some of these things that their starting point is further on the scale than others. i dont have a problem with someone trying to open-mouth kiss my wife (even if they have only met for 2 minutes - which she has done with some guys and girls that she was immediately attracted to). i have a problem if they try, she tells them "no", and then they try again. but we go to these parties with the mindset that if there is a mutual interest of the involved parties, then sex is a likely outcome for the evening (unless the party is a "meet-n-greet"). and for us, open-mouth kisses are part of foreplay with our partners. we have even had some parties that we have just "made-out" with some without engaging in sex.
ultimately, it is important to find the common ground of what is acceptable for those involved and being respectful of that. it is also important to politely inform someone when they have crossed a boundary. it is unfair of us to expect that others implicitly know all of our boundaries.
however, i also acknowledge that at a party where the intention/perception that playing will or is occurring can create some areas of "unknown". it is important to find out what is ok and when it is ok. for some, that means french kissing within the first few minutes, others may not. i have seen different ways that people have tried to find out. the simplest and most direct is to ask. however, i have seen people do so by "testing the waters" - small hug, then a bigger one, then a peck, then a lingering kiss, then french kiss, etc. and at each step trying to "read" the body language of the other.
and i have seen that some people have become so "desensitized" to some of these things that their starting point is further on the scale than others. i dont have a problem with someone trying to open-mouth kiss my wife (even if they have only met for 2 minutes - which she has done with some guys and girls that she was immediately attracted to). i have a problem if they try, she tells them "no", and then they try again. but we go to these parties with the mindset that if there is a mutual interest of the involved parties, then sex is a likely outcome for the evening (unless the party is a "meet-n-greet"). and for us, open-mouth kisses are part of foreplay with our partners. we have even had some parties that we have just "made-out" with some without engaging in sex.
ultimately, it is important to find the common ground of what is acceptable for those involved and being respectful of that. it is also important to politely inform someone when they have crossed a boundary. it is unfair of us to expect that others implicitly know all of our boundaries.
Shawn:
We feel you handled the situation in " high road" fashion, and certainly gain our respect for having done so. To be there to back your wife up if "no" wasn't accepted, is not only proper, but is in fact the only way swinging can matain any civilized credability.
We also agree that violence is the absolute last option to chose. Going to the host of the party as was stated already is a very good idea.
We have been to several really large parties that were totally open to singles, and only one time was there ever a problem. The hosts were informed, and the violater was asked to leave by a group of the men ( host included), and that was the end of it.
It would be unfortunate if this one incident were to make you swear off all clubs or parties as they can be alot of fun in a totally different way than meeting a couple or a small dinner party can be ( although we certainly could understand you being skeptical about it).
T and V
P.S. we hereby promise no tounge for at least 10 min. after meeting...lol
We feel you handled the situation in " high road" fashion, and certainly gain our respect for having done so. To be there to back your wife up if "no" wasn't accepted, is not only proper, but is in fact the only way swinging can matain any civilized credability.
We also agree that violence is the absolute last option to chose. Going to the host of the party as was stated already is a very good idea.
We have been to several really large parties that were totally open to singles, and only one time was there ever a problem. The hosts were informed, and the violater was asked to leave by a group of the men ( host included), and that was the end of it.
It would be unfortunate if this one incident were to make you swear off all clubs or parties as they can be alot of fun in a totally different way than meeting a couple or a small dinner party can be ( although we certainly could understand you being skeptical about it).
T and V
P.S. we hereby promise no tounge for at least 10 min. after meeting...lol
We have backed way off of these parties as when the Haloween party was winding down. One guy that was to drunk came over pulled my wifes top down and tried to suck on her nipples. I moved him away from her and his wife just giggled and said "he loves boobs" That was enough for us to take a step back. To many get so drunk and blame that for their actions.
Posted By: H2ODREAMS Reply posted on:
Jan 4, 2007 - 1:06 pm
We have backed way off of these parties as when the Haloween party was winding down. One guy that was to drunk came over pulled my wifes top down and tried to suck on her nipples. I moved him away from her and his wife just giggled and said "he loves boobs" That was enough for us to take a step back.
To many get so drunk and blame that for their actions.
iLLDOU2.........
WOW ,SO MEL GIBSON WAS THERE? hehe
SERIOUSLY SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST RUDE..DRUNK OR SOBER....BUT IT IS UP TO THE HOST TO HANDLE THESE THINGS......
or THINGS CAN GET OUT OF HAND.....
Jan 4, 2007 - 1:06 pm
We have backed way off of these parties as when the Haloween party was winding down. One guy that was to drunk came over pulled my wifes top down and tried to suck on her nipples. I moved him away from her and his wife just giggled and said "he loves boobs" That was enough for us to take a step back.
To many get so drunk and blame that for their actions.
iLLDOU2.........
WOW ,SO MEL GIBSON WAS THERE? hehe
SERIOUSLY SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST RUDE..DRUNK OR SOBER....BUT IT IS UP TO THE HOST TO HANDLE THESE THINGS......
or THINGS CAN GET OUT OF HAND.....
The Actions of Drunks can put anyone off of going to Parties. That having been said! If that guy would have tried that with the Little Woman she would have Knocked his clumsy, Drunk Ass, into the next County. And then told his Wife, Were the Bear went to Shit in the Forest. One way to enjoy parties is get in early, then get out before "Final Call for Alcohol" This works well for us because we are just too damn tired by the time closing time rolls around. It must be Age Related for us? Just keep going till you find the place and the people that work well for you. Then Just Shoot The Rest Of The Worthless Bastards! "The Dodging Lead" Tool Man
Just because you fall down on your bicycle doesn't mean you quit riding it :-)
-D-
-D-
THATS RIGHT ..YOU JUST WATCH WHERE YOU RIDE.
When we fell off of our bicycle we threw it away and got a Harley.. Oh come on smile
WISH YOU LIVED CLOSER WE COULD RIDE TOGETHER...WHO KNOWS DAYTONA BIKE WEEK RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER...
Shawn, sorry to hear about the bad experience, and agree just because you go to a club or party doesn't mean your free game to the open market, curious to know which club it was as we live in the same area and may want to avoid it.
C&K
C&K
you should not avoid the clubs but the idiots there instead.we went to halloween party and an idiot grabbed my wife's ass i told him if he did it again i would throw him off the stairs and we were down stairs.having gotten his attention i then explained proper etiquette at a swing club some people just think that every one is there for their enjoyment because they paid to get in
Phil
Phil
Behavior like that is sad to see and worse to experience. I was groped by a man on the dance floor at a club not too long ago and worst of all was the fact that he almost needed to grab me to keep from falling over. We had seen him on the dance floor earlier, but had thought that the women he was fondling were friends of his. Apparently they weren't, but not one of them said anything to anyone about it, except for me. And that is the one of the reasons that I personally love that particular club so much is that he was quickly removed after we said something. Most clubs, if such things are occurring will quickly "take care" of the situation for you so that you can continue to have a good time, if it hasn't been completely ruined by the experience. Just wanted to share my experience.
-SG
-SG
there are always assholes in this world but we are lucky they are not the majority. not to be to philisophical but if you allow them to alter your choices of what you can or want to do then they win. don't let the bastards win . because we lose also . keep going to parties , groups , and socials. just my two cents.
Sorry to hear that someone ruined your new years fun and if you ever get to Utah cum join us I have been to many meet and greets and social events as well and that is a rare thing that happens unless the person is new and does not yet know how to handle themselves in a group setting. If I was you I would just take the person asside and let them know how things are done and you may become great friends. everyone is new at one time or another.
And if they were in charge of the party I would let everyone in my power knoiw that this is not the group to swing with, and that they have no respect for others in the lifstyle.
Better luck next time and don't let the ruin your fun.
Regards
Terry
And if they were in charge of the party I would let everyone in my power knoiw that this is not the group to swing with, and that they have no respect for others in the lifstyle.
Better luck next time and don't let the ruin your fun.
Regards
Terry