Swingers Forum - Mixed Lifestyle Parties

We have many friends that know of our lifestyle, and we would like to invite everyone to a party without having to host additional parties.

Is this something that people do?
Pros, Cons, etc.

I would assume that people in the lifestyle might be hesitant to play. I want to try it but I thought I would ask.

We have thrown mixed parties before and everyone has been good we have the rule after a certain time the LS side of things come out and everyone knows if vanilla people chose to stay then that on them and our LS friends are good at sticking to the time line

I haven't hosted an "officially mixed" party, but this Halloween there was a lot of overlap between friend groups so there were about even numbers of lifestylers and vanillas there even though it was a "vanilla" party. If I had wanted to make it an officially mixed party, the way I probably would have done it is set aside a room or two of the house as a lifestyle-only area and make sure that the vanillas knew not to go in there. Of course, my friend groups aren't the type to obsessively try to identify who would be lifestyle anyway and I'm open with everyone, so it might work better than with other groups that have a different dynamic.

If I was going to try to host a mixed party where everyone didn't already know me well... maybe the same idea with a lifestyle-only area but then also have some kind of discrete identifier so that lifestylers could identify each other. Maybe a bracelet or something? Just to prevent misunderstandings trying to hit on vanilla couples I know risque did that at the erotic ball at one point where the afterparty crowd could identify each other without it detracting from the mixed event. I haven't been in a few years though so don't know if it's the same still, but I feel like it worked.

Every party that I've attended with mixed lifestyle/vanilla has had a problem, issue, drama, or fights. The exception would be where the only vanilla people were more lifestyle adjacent rather than pure vanilla.

Cpl4Fwb wrote:

WEWNT2PLAY wrote:

Although for those that would be concerned about being outed in the LS, what is the overall concern? I mean if I'm considering this type of party it's not like the bishop or pastor is going to be there, and the likelihood of being seen elsewhere would be slim to none.
None the less they are valid concerns and now I have to decide what to do.

We are only speaking for ourselves here ...
Discretion - we would prefer to choose to whom we reveal our lifestyle actives with. Even on lifestyle sites and other social media sites, we enjoy a level of anonymity. We control what and to whom we reveal more identifying information (face pictures, names, contact info, etc).
Yes, there is a risk in going to lifestyle events and parties. However, most people in the lifestyle believe in mutual assured destruction. If someone tells their vanilla friends, "Hey, I saw Dave & Danna at a swinger party.", their vanilla friends would probably ask, "What were you doing at a swinger party?"
In our time in the lifestyle, we have run into three co-workers, two high school classmates, the mother of a child on our child's athletic team, and a woman who we shared a daily commute with on public transportation. So yes, there is a good chance people may run into others from their vanilla lives in the lifefstyle at some time or another.

We agree with most of these comments.
Vanilla people have absolutely no reason to keep LS peoples secrets, and I think they’re more likely to gossip about something relatively foreign to them (like a LS party they attended). I’ve had two vanilla coworkers in my office talk about going to The NYer to people watch swingers, and that just made me cringe. I would not trust a vanilla person to keep our secret, and even less if we saw them at a “mixed” type of party where any conclusions could be made.

We would rather keep our vanilla friends and our LS friends completely separate for privacy’s sake. No matter how hard vanillas try, most of them cannot wrap their heads around our LS, and just avoiding vanillas while pursuing our LS hobbies is our safest bet.

Being fully open to the world about being a swinger is absolutely not something we want in a couples friendship either. We would avoid that as much as we would avoid any chance of vanillas finding out about us. Guilt by association could be just as harmful to our personal and professional lives.

As was said above though… your party, your friends. Just make sure all your LS friends are aware of what you’re doing. Some may not care, some could absolutely care if vanillas were there.

Cpl4fwb, Starlights, and BooberriesJ, thank you so much for your responses. The insight is truly appreciated and whine I was only skeptical about housing a mixed party I now have enough opinion and reasons as to why I should not.

wildchild62 wrote:

WEWNT2PLAY wrote:

Thanks. The input and insight y'all have shared is very helpful. Although for those that would be concerned about being outed in the LS, what is the overall concern? I mean if I'm considering this type of party it's not like the bishop or pastor is going to be there, and the likelihood of being seen elsewhere would be slim to none.
None the less they are valid concerns and now I have to decide what to do.

Being outed isn't always by someone AT the party, nut someone they told....

I'm sure everyone knows I meant "BUT", no "Nut".