We are curious about the best way to handle when we see or have experiences with couples and/or singles that are very predatory. Part of us feels public outing is the best way but that seems over dramatic and we try and avoid drama. At the same instance we wish people would warn us about some. At the same time we have seen some public outings as a weapon (similar to rating your Uber/airbnb). How does everyone else handle it? Has anyone seen any other sites handle it well? We don’t like validations (discretion). Thoughts/ideas?
Just to clarify, are these instances occurring from this site and are they people that you have actually met in person or are they communication harassing?
Either way, I am sorry to hear of it. People need to let things go and move on.
The community here has been good about protecting others from some abusive people on this site. I was glad to see multiple people report to get them shut down. I think you recall one particular persistent person.
Either way, I am sorry to hear of it. People need to let things go and move on.
The community here has been good about protecting others from some abusive people on this site. I was glad to see multiple people report to get them shut down. I think you recall one particular persistent person.
Hard2Please wrote:Yeah those are the type I am referring to. These are people on this site that we encounter or have encountered. He who should not be mentioned is so dangerous we feel obligated to warn the community. Others aren’t as bad but still predatory. One couple in particular usually is in group/party setting. They wait until the woman is drunk she comes in and gets them going and then the husband joins. The woman is always beyond capable of consent! Just wish there was a better process or way so others can avoid them. We haven’t been used by them but aware of their tactics and try to caution others that we know.
Just to clarify, are these instances occurring from this site and are they people that you have actually met in person or are they communication harassing?
Either way, I am sorry to hear of it. People need to let things go and move on.
The community here has been good about protecting others from some abusive people on this site. I was glad to see multiple people report to get them shut down. I think you recall one particular persistent person.
Uh, that’s still really bad! No consent is rape.
PourquoiPas wrote:
No consent is rape.
^^^This is the correct answer.
If these are people you met in person you should be every bit as aggressive as they are, with the option of departing their presence the immediate remedy. If it’s on this site then just block them. Don’t get hung up on someone else’s drama that they brought to you, they’re are no winners in that situation. We use the “hey see ya later” technique and don’t look back. Outing someone is not worth the effort.
SKICOUPLE wrote:This is our general consensus as well. At times feel guilty when we see others fall victim to it.
If these are people you met in person you should be every bit as aggressive as they are, with the option of departing their presence the immediate remedy. If it’s on this site then just block them. Don’t get hung up on someone else’s drama that they brought to you, there are no winners in that situation. We use the “hey see ya later” technique and don’t look back. Outing someone is not worth the effort.
From a perspective of a noob. If we were at a party I would appreciate someone letting us know to be careful if we are with someone/couple that maybe a bit of a predator.
Utahldscouple wrote:
This is our general consensus as well. At times feel guilty when we see others fall victim to it.
That's the rub. Dipping out of a bad situation is good for protecting yourselves but I would feel terrible if someone else suffered the fate that we avoided, especially if there was a way we could have prevented it. How one would go about protecting others varies by the situation at hand but knowing how far to push it can be a bit of gray area.
We’ve definitely wanted to out a specific couple on here . They are dangerous to each other and others. They are not married and didn’t disclose that until later. We’ve seen them get very physical with each other, stole our keys and phones, we were literally stuck with no way to leave for hours. Called the female the next day to check in on her and everything she said confirmed all our suspicions. However, years later they are still on here as a couple. I’ve wanted to blast their name on here but have refrained but we do tell people in person who the couple is.
There a lunatic on here posing as a couple with a criminal past of harassment. Message for info.
We too had a very bad experience with a female that didn’t understand no , wife was ready to leave and was done playing and this womanjust kept bugging and get my wife undressed again and start pushing her body against her was a really bad experience formy wife she felt violated and since she doesn’t want to meet new people part was my mistake for not stepping up and say something but I learn my lesson and will not happen again I will do what’s necessary to get my wife out of that situation we don’t like drama but sometimes is the only lenguaje some people understand.
It's sad, but not surprising to hear some of these experiences. A few of these, in my opinion, absolutely should be shared on an "out" page if someone is abusive, has a criminal past, or is blatantly abusive or stocking.
I have had almost all amazing experiences that led to longer term friendships but even meeting as a single guy I have had a few very strange situations, two with single ladies and one with a couple that I wanted to warn others of in drama or issues but felt better just to let it go. One I was so glad friends on here emailed me and warned me of one who was completely crazy who I had just met and might have met up with again had they not shared experiences with me. Or even a newbie who has major drama, insecurities, jealousy, or lack of communication issue to warn friends but doesn't feel right to call them out publicly.
In general my take is always meet with no expectations at first and if someone is too aggressive just be more firm in saying "no" and "not interested" and excuse self. I think it's always good to be street smart whether a single guy, lady, or couple and don't get so drunk to not be in control.
Scary, criminal, or abusive situations should definitely be shared publicly in my opinion. But if they are that predatory and crazy they will just change screen names so hard to really help warn others. Someone just being turned on, pursuing someone, especially if they have been drinking can sometimes be far too aggressive and not recognizing the social cues of not interested or not being comfortable sometime just needs to hear a firm, "not interested" or "no longer interested" and politely excuse self.
Thanks for reminder to always use caution.
I have had almost all amazing experiences that led to longer term friendships but even meeting as a single guy I have had a few very strange situations, two with single ladies and one with a couple that I wanted to warn others of in drama or issues but felt better just to let it go. One I was so glad friends on here emailed me and warned me of one who was completely crazy who I had just met and might have met up with again had they not shared experiences with me. Or even a newbie who has major drama, insecurities, jealousy, or lack of communication issue to warn friends but doesn't feel right to call them out publicly.
In general my take is always meet with no expectations at first and if someone is too aggressive just be more firm in saying "no" and "not interested" and excuse self. I think it's always good to be street smart whether a single guy, lady, or couple and don't get so drunk to not be in control.
Scary, criminal, or abusive situations should definitely be shared publicly in my opinion. But if they are that predatory and crazy they will just change screen names so hard to really help warn others. Someone just being turned on, pursuing someone, especially if they have been drinking can sometimes be far too aggressive and not recognizing the social cues of not interested or not being comfortable sometime just needs to hear a firm, "not interested" or "no longer interested" and politely excuse self.
Thanks for reminder to always use caution.
ateam83 wrote:
We too had a very bad experience with a female that didn’t understand no , wife was ready to leave and was done playing and this womanjust kept bugging and get my wife undressed again and start pushing her body against her was a really bad experience formy wife she felt violated and since she doesn’t want to meet new people part was my mistake for not stepping up and say something but I learn my lesson and will not happen again I will do what’s necessary to get my wife out of that situation we don’t like drama but sometimes is the only lenguaje some people understand.
100% not o.k. on the aggressor's part, but it sounds like you and your wife need to have a serious discussion about clear rules/expectations/boundaries between the two of you, going in to any meet up. She should be able to count on you to intervene and guarantee her comfort and safety. That would be a hard pass for me, if my husband let things go that far again, once he knew I was done. There would be some serious coming to Jesus moments after that.