Is it rude to ask prospective playmates, especially one time only, to provide proof?
We're extremely new. One of our concerns about getting into the lifestyle is obviously sexually transmitted diseases. Is it considered rude to ask and is there a polite way to ask?
TIA
We're extremely new. One of our concerns about getting into the lifestyle is obviously sexually transmitted diseases. Is it considered rude to ask and is there a polite way to ask?
TIA
There is nothing rude about asking for proof of testing. We personally wouldn't recommend playing without protection even with proof. Depending on the date and timing of the test, doesn't mean the playmate didn't have unprotected sex with another playmate between those times. We would say most people don't test after every playmate. Playmates that were safe in the past doesn't necessarily mean they are still safe.
If someone doesn't want to comply with your rules of engagement, you probably don't want to pursue things further. There will be plenty of people that will respect your rules/agreements.
If someone doesn't want to comply with your rules of engagement, you probably don't want to pursue things further. There will be plenty of people that will respect your rules/agreements.
Thank you. We thought it should be okay. We just want to be sure.
Well said
Most people think of protection only for intercourse and ignore it for oral sex. However, some STIs can easily be transmitted by oral sex. Especially to the person performing oral. Herpes and HPV are the most common STI’s transmitted via oral.
Having said that, about 80% plus or minus a few points already have herpes (ever had a cold sore?) and about the same for sexually active people and HPV (have currently or have had in the past).
So sometimes to also consider.
Having said that, about 80% plus or minus a few points already have herpes (ever had a cold sore?) and about the same for sexually active people and HPV (have currently or have had in the past).
So sometimes to also consider.
SINANDDAVE wrote:
Is it rude to ask prospective playmates, especially one time only, to provide proof?
We're extremely new. One of our concerns about getting into the lifestyle is obviously sexually transmitted diseases. Is it considered rude to ask and is there a polite way to ask?
TIA
Nakkidfun is right, oral sex and herpes can be a greater risk but if there is a breakout or active case of herpes. We would use a condom if we felt the way you do unless there are extenuating circumstances (tearing do to condoms, etc). Testing is good don’t get us wrong, we test regularly. We also have no problem taking the antibiotics to kill just about everything except herpes and hiv.
Nakkidfun wrote:And keep in mind men can’t test for HPV but can have it. There is immunization for HPV and highly recommend it.
Most people think of protection only for intercourse and ignore it for oral sex. However, some STIs can easily be transmitted by oral sex. Especially to the person performing oral. Herpes and HPV are the most common STI’s transmitted via oral.
Having said that, about 80% plus or minus a few points already have herpes (ever had a cold sore?) and about the same for sexually active people and HPV (have currently or have had in the past).
So sometimes to also consider.
Utahldscouple wrote:Nakkidfun wrote:And keep in mind men can’t test for HPV but can have it. There is immunization for HPV and highly recommend it.
Most people think of protection only for intercourse and ignore it for oral sex. However, some STIs can easily be transmitted by oral sex. Especially to the person performing oral. Herpes and HPV are the most common STI’s transmitted via oral.
Having said that, about 80% plus or minus a few points already have herpes (ever had a cold sore?) and about the same for sexually active people and HPV (have currently or have had in the past).
So sometimes to also consider.
Unfortunately for those of us who are older the HPV vaccine wasn’t around and they won’t give it if you’re over 45.
Nakkidfun wrote:Utahldscouple wrote:And keep in mind men can’t test for HPV but can have it. There is immunization for HPV and highly recommend it.
[quote=Nakkidfun]Most people think of protection only for intercourse and ignore it for oral sex. However, some STIs can easily be transmitted by oral sex. Especially to the person performing oral. Herpes and HPV are the most common STI’s transmitted via oral.
Having said that, about 80% plus or minus a few points already have herpes (ever had a cold sore?) and about the same for sexually active people and HPV (have currently or have had in the past).
So sometimes to also consider.
Unfortunately for those of us who are older the HPV vaccine wasn’t around and they won’t give it if you’re over 45.[/quote]The information is for those not aware of it.
Why can’t men test for HPV? I know men can have it. In boot camp they showed us pictures of a dude with cauliflower growing on his junk.
SINANDDAVE wrote:https://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv-and-men.htm
Why can’t men test for HPV? I know men can have it. In boot camp they showed us pictures of a dude with cauliflower growing on his junk.
I have one comment …. Don't rely on what people here tell you … even this thread has multiple inaccuracies. Do your own research from reputable sources, there is a ton of info thru Google … or ask a qualified Health care professional.
As far as the OPs question … NO it’s not rude to ask. But get educated on what can and can’t be tested for.
As far as the OPs question … NO it’s not rude to ask. But get educated on what can and can’t be tested for.
Not rude at all!
Not rude.... General rule of thumb is IF you are going to have unprotected sex... Stick with married couples that you have met and trust. Not that something COULDN'T get passed to you. BUT typically if people in this lifestyle get tested, know how to treat something if they get it. As they said above Oral Herpes is super common and you run the risk of catching that just from kissing. So always make sure you look at lips for a current outbreak. As far as someone in this lifestyle knowing they have an STI and still having unprotected sex..... That going to be rare, that person would be OUTTed and would not be able to play in this lifestyle anymore. But do your own research.