Ok, does anyone else have this problem? You talk with a couple for a few weeks. You plan on meeting somewhere, you exchange phone numbers and talk a few hours before to concrete the details and SNAP....they don't show up. No phone call or email. Nothing. When we call to see what is up....No answer either. RUDE
It has been our experience that new couples in the lifestyle do this. It appears that they are all for it until reality hits and all of the sudden BAM....they get chicken or something. We are not pushy people, we are not ugly people (don't get us wrong, we are no ken and barbie but we don't suck either...well...maybe we do... *wink*), we are pretty laid back easy going people. If you wanna play with us, you most likely will have to make the first move - we aren't shy, we just like to be sure everyone's in.
So I just want to know if anyone else is experiencing this with newbies in the lifestyle? I am about over the newbies - it gets to be tiresome showing people the ropes and rules. Geez.
It has been our experience that new couples in the lifestyle do this. It appears that they are all for it until reality hits and all of the sudden BAM....they get chicken or something. We are not pushy people, we are not ugly people (don't get us wrong, we are no ken and barbie but we don't suck either...well...maybe we do... *wink*), we are pretty laid back easy going people. If you wanna play with us, you most likely will have to make the first move - we aren't shy, we just like to be sure everyone's in.
So I just want to know if anyone else is experiencing this with newbies in the lifestyle? I am about over the newbies - it gets to be tiresome showing people the ropes and rules. Geez.
we know exactly what you are saying,we have been stood up so many times it isn't even funny.we wish we lived closer to everyone elses because in the past 4-years we only found one cpl that isnt in springfield illinois that is realy true opps let me take that back two couples.
Hello misskitty32, we have the same problem here in Michigan,send out letters and they don't even open the letters up. The only ones that answer us is the ones 2 planes away.Sure wish you two lived closer to us.
Interesting topic....we have been on here for a couple of years now, and have only met two couples! (whom both of which, have become as close to family to us!!) We used to believe that we got stood up because we were the newbies....now we consider ourselves to be veterans, and we still get stood up......We have just written it up to be part of the lifestyle...keep hanging in there...it'll happen!
What we think ends up happening, and yes it has happened to us too. You talk to one of the two people of the couple and they reply to your messages and work it up to the point of a meeting and then they show their spouse who reads the profiles or looks at the pictures and decides 'I'm not interested so we don't go' or they have never done anything before and the one person is trying to coax the other into going.
At any rate, we make it a point now of telling people we plan on meeting to meet us at a local swing club (or a public place we know we enjoy) that way if they don't show we know we will have fun without them.
But then we havent had a reply to an email in so long we wouldnt know what to do with one if we got it now.
At any rate, we make it a point now of telling people we plan on meeting to meet us at a local swing club (or a public place we know we enjoy) that way if they don't show we know we will have fun without them.
But then we havent had a reply to an email in so long we wouldnt know what to do with one if we got it now.
UGH! Dont you just HATE that? Happened to me in March this year...Drove to Ft.Lauderdale on a Saturday morning. Went to the Denny's Resturant, Got a booth andwaited...waited ....Called them up ...No answer left a msg...What a waste of a nice saturday. My time is too precious
to waste like that...
M
to waste like that...
M
we have found that sadly there are a fair number of flakey people out there and it is frustrating but we found an answer that works for us. we dont go out of our way to meet people, we just plan to do the things that we find fun anyway, and we invite our friends in the lifestyle along, if they can make it great, if not we still have a wonderful time and no feelings are hurt. dont know if that would work for everyone, but it works for us
S & C
S & C
Think most couples share this problem. We want to speak with both the male and female of the couple to lean if both are open to the lifestyle. Having said that, we find the ads a very poor place to meet couples. Nearly all the couples we have partied with were met at either a swing club or a house party. Of all the sites we have been on over the years this is the worst for meeting people.
We too have been through the ringer with chatting and phone cnversations only to be stood up or even just ignored online.we try to be as honest about us and what we are searching for as we would expect from others.If we set up a meeting we will be there to check chemistry for all involved.It has caused us to take time off from even looking but we are always open to meeting new friends.
Well being stood up hasnt ever happened to us (knock on wood). We usually, however, take our sweet time in getting it to the "meeting" phase. We like to chat alot with whom we are interested in possibly meeting online for awhile. That way we know if they are serious, or if they are in it just for the excitement of the idea of it all, and trust me there are those out there. When it comes time we both agree to meet, we are all so excited to see each other finally that it is just like meeting up with great friends rather then meeting up with someone that u hardly know (that sometimes can be a litlte bit intimidating, especially when you are new to the scene or you are nervous about the "playtime") we have been there, and it is kinda nerve racking.....however, we have never stood anyone up.
We would agree with almost every thing Stitch said(although we have been stood up). We sure take our time and get to know folks some before we ever suggest a meeting. We do feel there are alot of folks that get all the excitement they are looking for just in talking and setting up a meeting, then realize that the spouse who knows nothing of the whole deal isn't going to go along.
That being said we have made some lifelong friends through the lifestyle( most of which we haven't played with and never will). So it has been a totally rewarding adventure for us.
The times we have played have been very nice too.
T and V
That being said we have made some lifelong friends through the lifestyle( most of which we haven't played with and never will). So it has been a totally rewarding adventure for us.
The times we have played have been very nice too.
T and V
Smetimes shit happens. Sometimes people chicken out at the last minute and then are so ashamed after telling people how honest they are and how comfortable they are in the lifestyle.....So talk to people and give yourself opetions... Meet at the Mall food court... if they don't show up take momma to the Victoria's Secret and let her spend a hundred on a bra that lifts and squeezes or those G-string panties that are made of gossimer and are such a beautiful color and has pearles that go up the butt crack and in the vagina.... That lingerie that she thinks will make her curvey body more sexy. That purfume that drives the guys wild and has pheromones of a female yack touted to bring men to their knees with lust.
Better this than making reservation and having them not show or going to the gay strip bar and paying too much for your drinks and being hit on by Jim/Andrea with the 9" schlong and the 35C boobs...
But the food court allows people to be theirselves and not have to dress up ..... just a casual meet that can be more affordable and then there's alway the next date when you can go to the gay strip bar or that nice restaurant.
PS:
ULUVBIGBLKDICK
Some of us might consider a pirex dick a handycap and would not show up after some serious thought.... PPS (whatever that means) If it were to break someone coud be seriously cut. and some women with vision problems might have problems since it is transparent. These could be reasons why people might not show....
Better this than making reservation and having them not show or going to the gay strip bar and paying too much for your drinks and being hit on by Jim/Andrea with the 9" schlong and the 35C boobs...
But the food court allows people to be theirselves and not have to dress up ..... just a casual meet that can be more affordable and then there's alway the next date when you can go to the gay strip bar or that nice restaurant.
PS:
ULUVBIGBLKDICK
Some of us might consider a pirex dick a handycap and would not show up after some serious thought.... PPS (whatever that means) If it were to break someone coud be seriously cut. and some women with vision problems might have problems since it is transparent. These could be reasons why people might not show....
Nice to see its not just us. There really isn't a couple in this post that we wouldn't want to spend some time with so its not your looks. Guess getting stood up is part of the program. Thats why its always good to have a back-up plan. We gotten to the point where we really don't like meeting couples one on one. We preffer the swing clubs or house parties.
Kim and John
Kim and John
The only reason I can see for someone standing up all the gorgeous folks on here and especially Pare ( the original poster) is that the people who stand them up are plain nuts. :-)
Courtesy would call for at least calling and letting them know why. I mean if you get scared at last minute that can be understood. It is not for everyone. If a sick kid or something came up, reschedule. But don't leave folks guessing. OF course I can understand why folks may stand us up. The are too busy staring at my wife when they set it up and at the last minute they look at my pic and it scares them off. LOL
Courtesy would call for at least calling and letting them know why. I mean if you get scared at last minute that can be understood. It is not for everyone. If a sick kid or something came up, reschedule. But don't leave folks guessing. OF course I can understand why folks may stand us up. The are too busy staring at my wife when they set it up and at the last minute they look at my pic and it scares them off. LOL
Hmmm, as someone said its an interesting subject. The first person that can develop a foolproof plan (nothing is foolproof, fools are so ingenious) would be our hero. Keep in mind though, it doesn't just happen with newbies. We set up several dates with a couple we had played with only to have them fall through at the last minute. Guess they didn't enjoy the first time and didn't know how to tell us. We have a very crazy schedule and warn folks up front of two things, we won't make a date we can't keep and it takes a while to get our schedules to match. We have missed an oppertunity or two, bit, probably better off. We have also developed the attitude that we will go out to dinner and if the other couple backs out, well we still have dinner. It really would be nice if they would call though.
On the other side of the coin, you do run into those that are too eager. They want to meet today, and why bother with all the boring small talk, they have a room. Seems they don't care for people that want to make friends as well as play partners. Maybe we are a bit old fashion, but, if we cant lay around (nude of course) and talk with our partners then we are missing some of the best times. Oh well, I guess we have been very lucky. We have had more positve experiences than negative ones and have made a lot of good to great friends.
On the other side of the coin, you do run into those that are too eager. They want to meet today, and why bother with all the boring small talk, they have a room. Seems they don't care for people that want to make friends as well as play partners. Maybe we are a bit old fashion, but, if we cant lay around (nude of course) and talk with our partners then we are missing some of the best times. Oh well, I guess we have been very lucky. We have had more positve experiences than negative ones and have made a lot of good to great friends.
Bump
Thanks for the compliment BLVLCPL!!
Thanks for the compliment BLVLCPL!!
It seems to us that this site spawns wannabees.We have NEVER met anyone from this site.
We have been contacted by people as young as 19 years old who have said they are interested.OF COURSE THEY ARE NOT!!! Maybe they just want us to open our private pics for them.
We are serious swingers.We have met some great people and been to a few great parties.We have never been stood up but maybe that's because we havent tried to meet any of the game players from this site.
We have been contacted by people as young as 19 years old who have said they are interested.OF COURSE THEY ARE NOT!!! Maybe they just want us to open our private pics for them.
We are serious swingers.We have met some great people and been to a few great parties.We have never been stood up but maybe that's because we havent tried to meet any of the game players from this site.
To the cpl who originated this post might we ask what age range have you been contacting?
We have found the younger they are the more mind games they play.
There are some younger cpls who actually do take the lifestyle serious we have been very fortunate and will tell you of the cpls we have contacted and set a date to meet most have showed up BUT they were in the over 30 crowd with the exception of the latest cpl we have met on here they were in thier late 20's.
We actually met 2 cpls on swingular that we agreed to meet in the TN. area(we were going to Gatlinburg to snow ski (we live in North Florida) and low and behold they actually did show up!
We would like to add that anyone who missed the chance to meet with the orginal cpl who began this post must have been fools because you are plain "HOT" We would not pass up the chance to meet with you ever come to North Florida let us know :-)
Norm&Sharon
We have found the younger they are the more mind games they play.
There are some younger cpls who actually do take the lifestyle serious we have been very fortunate and will tell you of the cpls we have contacted and set a date to meet most have showed up BUT they were in the over 30 crowd with the exception of the latest cpl we have met on here they were in thier late 20's.
We actually met 2 cpls on swingular that we agreed to meet in the TN. area(we were going to Gatlinburg to snow ski (we live in North Florida) and low and behold they actually did show up!
We would like to add that anyone who missed the chance to meet with the orginal cpl who began this post must have been fools because you are plain "HOT" We would not pass up the chance to meet with you ever come to North Florida let us know :-)
Norm&Sharon
We have not been stood up but then again we don't get the opportunity to meet a lot of people the way we work anyways but one time we met with a couple who apparently had arranged to meet 2 couples (us and another) on the one night, they met with us first and did not turn up to meet the 2nd couple. And were proud of it, needless to say we never met with them again!!
Our theory about being stood up is that lots of folks fantasize about swinging, but when that fantasy comes too close to reality they simply can't cope with it. People can be really brave when they are sitting in front of their computer, but that frequently isn't who they are in real life.
We are on several swing sites and are not attempting to insult any of them, but we have come to the conclusion that nothing ever replaces good old human interaction at meet and greets, house parties, or other functions when people can get to know one another. We think the internet has created a lot of unreal expectations.
So after more than 10 years of being in the lifestyle, we approach new folks and first time meetings with decidedly low expectations. That way we are never disappointed if things don't work out and are pleasantly surprised when they do.
Jim & Diane
We are on several swing sites and are not attempting to insult any of them, but we have come to the conclusion that nothing ever replaces good old human interaction at meet and greets, house parties, or other functions when people can get to know one another. We think the internet has created a lot of unreal expectations.
So after more than 10 years of being in the lifestyle, we approach new folks and first time meetings with decidedly low expectations. That way we are never disappointed if things don't work out and are pleasantly surprised when they do.
Jim & Diane
We are not vets or nebies eather and have been there 3or4 time our selfs its real bad when you try and make it easy on them and drive 2hours to there area and it happens.
This is great feedback. I am glad that we are not the only peeps getting stood up. Before the lifestyle, this NEVER Happened. It must be that people just get stagefright or weirded out about reality. Thanks for all the responses. There are quite a few of you on here that I am SHOCKEd would ever get stood up. Just give us a ring!
well we cant figure out for the life of us to why anyone would wanna stand up a couple that looks that damn good lol we both drooled for a few min before we could muster any kind of answer lol oh and yes i think everyone has this problem every now and then some more than others .. but all in all most of the time is it because of first time jitters and they are ashamed to admit it so they dont answer or call to let you know .. but you just have tomark it up as thier lost and find the next ..
As already said many times in this thread, a very interesting topic. One which we, hate to say it, but can relate to. It seems that maybe the pretenders, wannabes, or just plain scared people are here just surfing or trying to collect pics... Think we've only met one or two people on this site, have had much better luck on AFF or SLS....
Since some of you have shared a few stories, we can add to the list. Our two worst cases of being stood up are:
1) Riding our Harley from Naples to Pompano Beach for a Toy Ride last December.. about 120 miles or so. We had been talking to a "couple" online for a few weeks before the date, and had mentioned that we were going to be in their neck of the woods that weekend. They offered to host us up at their condo for some drinks and whatever developed... and from what they were talking about, should of been a hot time. Phone #s were exchanged, and we talked 3 or 4 times up to the day of the ride. We get there, and no one answered the numbers any more... THANK GOD we had resereved a room for the second night we were going to be there... Never heard from them again.
2) A few years ago, my wife had her first bi experience with the woman 1/2 of a couple we met online. We kept in contact with them, and a few months later, we found out we were going to be in their area for a wedding. Again, plans were made and the same phone numbers exchanged. We didn't bother actually speaking to them since we've already been with them.... BIG MISTAKE. We rode the bike down, probably over 200 miles, checked into our hotel, and kept trying the main # we had. Surprise, surprise, no answer. Finally, we tried the home number, and right away the woman answered. Turns out, the husband had LEFT HER A FEW WEEKS AGO, but was still using their SLS profile. Worse, he had been emailing us as HER. That night he/they planned with us, he was actually in Miami with his new young girlfriend. His wife was a wreck, and we ended up never speaking to him/them again... Can't figure out what his intentions were - he had been emailing us as his soon to be exwife, knowing we had her home phone #... guess stranger things can happen.
Anyway, PAREJABUSCACHICA3, we don't make it up to Tampa too often, but if you ever find yourselves coming to Naples or Ft. Myers, PLEASE LET US KNOW!!!
Since some of you have shared a few stories, we can add to the list. Our two worst cases of being stood up are:
1) Riding our Harley from Naples to Pompano Beach for a Toy Ride last December.. about 120 miles or so. We had been talking to a "couple" online for a few weeks before the date, and had mentioned that we were going to be in their neck of the woods that weekend. They offered to host us up at their condo for some drinks and whatever developed... and from what they were talking about, should of been a hot time. Phone #s were exchanged, and we talked 3 or 4 times up to the day of the ride. We get there, and no one answered the numbers any more... THANK GOD we had resereved a room for the second night we were going to be there... Never heard from them again.
2) A few years ago, my wife had her first bi experience with the woman 1/2 of a couple we met online. We kept in contact with them, and a few months later, we found out we were going to be in their area for a wedding. Again, plans were made and the same phone numbers exchanged. We didn't bother actually speaking to them since we've already been with them.... BIG MISTAKE. We rode the bike down, probably over 200 miles, checked into our hotel, and kept trying the main # we had. Surprise, surprise, no answer. Finally, we tried the home number, and right away the woman answered. Turns out, the husband had LEFT HER A FEW WEEKS AGO, but was still using their SLS profile. Worse, he had been emailing us as HER. That night he/they planned with us, he was actually in Miami with his new young girlfriend. His wife was a wreck, and we ended up never speaking to him/them again... Can't figure out what his intentions were - he had been emailing us as his soon to be exwife, knowing we had her home phone #... guess stranger things can happen.
Anyway, PAREJABUSCACHICA3, we don't make it up to Tampa too often, but if you ever find yourselves coming to Naples or Ft. Myers, PLEASE LET US KNOW!!!
Bump