My wife and I have often talked about various friends...who would most likely be into doing something in the "lifestyle", who may have already tested the waters, who might be in it now in some form, who talks about it, who we would like to be with etc. It's been fun to speculate.
One couple we talk about is devout LDS. We like them both. Really nice and respectable people and the wife is super attractive. But, they strike us as being on the most straight of paths. We still talk about fantasies we have about them. My wife says "no way" would they be into anything though. I counter with the idea that everyone has kinks and that we don't know what goes on behind closed doors, in discussion or otherwise. But, it's not a subject we dare bring up with them....not just because of their religion but out of sheer awkwardness and fear of losing a friendship.
We have another set of friends who we think similarly of, in the sense they are unlikely candidates. However, the husband has hinted many times over the last 15 years that his wife likes me. It has caused me to wonder if he would like to connect us. Then again, it could just be an over active imagination on my part.
How many of you have been in similar situations where you ended up messing around with friends whom you never would have guessed would be in to it?
One couple we talk about is devout LDS. We like them both. Really nice and respectable people and the wife is super attractive. But, they strike us as being on the most straight of paths. We still talk about fantasies we have about them. My wife says "no way" would they be into anything though. I counter with the idea that everyone has kinks and that we don't know what goes on behind closed doors, in discussion or otherwise. But, it's not a subject we dare bring up with them....not just because of their religion but out of sheer awkwardness and fear of losing a friendship.
We have another set of friends who we think similarly of, in the sense they are unlikely candidates. However, the husband has hinted many times over the last 15 years that his wife likes me. It has caused me to wonder if he would like to connect us. Then again, it could just be an over active imagination on my part.
How many of you have been in similar situations where you ended up messing around with friends whom you never would have guessed would be in to it?
I have to admit that there are some vanilla friends that we thought about trying to convert, but will probably never go through with it. Honestly, there are so, so many potential couples in the lifestyle that we could have amazing friendships with. So, why bother trying to convert vanilla friends and potentially alter our relationship with them in a negative way. However, if they started hitting on us, that would be a different story.
Yes, we’ve run into this.
We had a couple we’ve been friends with for a few years. She was of Muslim upbringing & things were always conservative with them. They had joined us in our hot tub a few times & always with swimsuits. On the 3rd time they asked why we wore swimsuits - we told them due to her modesty / conservative nature. They laughed, swimsuits were off and with a little more discussion it turned out they were LS in the past & wanted to start playing again. And we did!
We also have friends we’d love to play with & they are always joking & a bit on the edge with sexual innuendo. Made us wonder. So, we’ve dropped enough hints & some discussion that they know we play around a bit & I’m sure have figured out we’re interested in them. However, they are still great friends but never indicated interest in expanding things. Which is perfectly ok! Maybe one day lol!
We had a couple we’ve been friends with for a few years. She was of Muslim upbringing & things were always conservative with them. They had joined us in our hot tub a few times & always with swimsuits. On the 3rd time they asked why we wore swimsuits - we told them due to her modesty / conservative nature. They laughed, swimsuits were off and with a little more discussion it turned out they were LS in the past & wanted to start playing again. And we did!
We also have friends we’d love to play with & they are always joking & a bit on the edge with sexual innuendo. Made us wonder. So, we’ve dropped enough hints & some discussion that they know we play around a bit & I’m sure have figured out we’re interested in them. However, they are still great friends but never indicated interest in expanding things. Which is perfectly ok! Maybe one day lol!
Nakkidfun wrote:
Yes, we’ve run into this.
We had a couple we’ve been friends with for a few years. She was of Muslim upbringing & things were always conservative with them. They had joined us in our hot tub a few times & always with swimsuits. On the 3rd time they asked why we wore swimsuits - we told them due to her modesty / conservative nature. They laughed, swimsuits were off and with a little more discussion it turned out they were LS in the past & wanted to start playing again. And we did!
We also have friends we’d love to play with & they are always joking & a bit on the edge with sexual innuendo. Made us wonder. So, we’ve dropped enough hints & some discussion that they know we play around a bit & I’m sure have figured out we’re interested in them. However, they are still great friends but never indicated interest in expanding things. Which is perfectly ok! Maybe one day lol!
If we were vanilla, we would let you convert us. lol
Mrs has converted vanillas in the past. We are that LDS couple that no one would suspect being in the LS.
Canvas wrote:
My wife and I have often talked about various friends...who would most likely be into doing something in the "lifestyle", who may have already tested the waters, who might be in it now in some form, who talks about it, who we would like to be with etc. It's been fun to speculate.
One couple we talk about is devout LDS. We like them both. Really nice and respectable people and the wife is super attractive. But, they strike us as being on the most straight of paths. We still talk about fantasies we have about them. My wife says "no way" would they be into anything though. I counter with the idea that everyone has kinks and that we don't know what goes on behind closed doors, in discussion or otherwise. But, it's not a subject we dare bring up with them....not just because of their religion but out of sheer awkwardness and fear of losing a friendship.
We have a another set of friends who we think similarly of, in the sense they are unlikely candidates. However, the husband has hinted many times over the last 15 years that his wife likes me. It has caused me to wonder if he would like to connect us. Then again, it could just be an over active imagination on my part.
How many of you have been in similar situations where you ended up messing around with friends whom you never would have guessed would be in to it?
Just have a fun question/answer session with them sometime.!! Play a game like "that's what she said" or "Cards against humanity" those are great card games that allow for fun sexy discussion. Not saying you need to get busy with them. But during one of the sexy topics, you could ask on the sly "have you ever had sex in front of other people?" This will create a fun topic. If they say no way but then ask you the same question. I promise it will get their juices flowing. Good luck And I am not saying openly try to convert them. But you never know, that is similar to how we got involved with the lifestyle. Just sayin.
Thanks, you all! And I like the game idea. We haven't played "that's what she said" but have played "Cards against humanity".
Canvas wrote:I've also played a drinking game called "Buzzed" I believe. So if any of the couples drink, a lot of drinking games allow for fun topics/conversations. Especially more adult themed ones. I remember some cards being very sexual such as "Drink if you have ever made a woman cum." Talk about a conversation starter if both the Mr. and Mrs. have to drink in front of the other couple... Just an idea.
Thanks, you all! And I like the game idea. We haven't played "that's what she said" but have played "Cards against humanity".
Not even slightly. Living in Utah most of our lives means that most of our vanilla friends are Mormon and, like we were when WE were Mormons, extremely uptight about just about anything that most people would consider fun (Unless you think playing board games and drinking root beer and eating donuts is really fun.). Why would we want to try to 'convert' (to borrow a local term thrown around a lot) our vanilla friends when there are so many fun, sexy people who already know what swinging is, what it entails, and have talked about it and made a conscious decision, without any kind of pressure or coercion, to participate?
EVILDOERS wrote:
Why would we want to try to 'convert' (to borrow a local term thrown around a lot) our vanilla friends when there are so many fun, sexy people who already know what swinging is, what it entails, and have talked about it and made a conscious decision, without any kind of pressure or coercion, to participate?
I see your point. But we haven't any local friends that we know are into any sort of "alternative lifestyles". We do however have local friends we already trust, like, and are comfortable around...friends who like us, married young and have likely remained monogamous the entire time. I'd guess the chances are pretty good that they have either talked about ways of spicing up their sex lives or have thought about it. And when there are hints, verbal and or physical, and there's some serious cuteness...my wheels will spin.
Canvas wrote:EVILDOERS wrote:
Why would we want to try to 'convert' (to borrow a local term thrown around a lot) our vanilla friends when there are so many fun, sexy people who already know what swinging is, what it entails, and have talked about it and made a conscious decision, without any kind of pressure or coercion, to participate?
I see your point. But we haven't any local friends that we know are into any sort of "alternative lifestyles". We do however have local friends we already trust, like, and are comfortable around...friends who like us, married young and have likely remained monogamous the entire time. I'd guess the chances are pretty good that they have either talked about ways of spicing up their sex lives or have thought about it. And when there are hints, verbal and or physical, and there's some serious cuteness...my wheels will spin.
I still think there is FAR more potential for SERIOUS negative repercussions than there is for any kind of positive outcome. Call me a pessimist but I strongly believe that the vast majority of couples, even IF they've talked about spicing up their sex life in some way, are in no way prepared for the realities of seeing their significant other fucking someone else. There's a reason swinging is still considered extremely deviant behavior by most people.¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Playing with our vanilla friends is what got us into the LS in the first place. They "converted" us but we didn't "convert" them lol. They are the only vanilla friends that we have ever played with though. It was just some light same room soft swapping so wasn't too dramatic. It didn't affect our friendship with them or their relationship (as far as we know) at all. I'm not saying at all that is common. I'm sure the same scenario can go very badly with different people/situations.
We have had a few instances over the years where we have thought maybe some of our vanilla friends have hinted that they are in or interested in the LS. Like one time where the wife said something about going to "the club" and then the husband looked surprised as if she let the cat out of the bag and then quickly changed the subject. We let them drop it and have not asked them about it since. We figure maybe we will see them at "the club" or on one of these LS sites/apps one of these days and all have a good laugh and maybe more.
Our thought is that if our vanilla friends are interested in the LS they will know we are too because we have left enough hints through jokes and innuendos over the years. If they are interested then things will happen naturally or we will run into them like we do any other LS couple.
We have had a few instances over the years where we have thought maybe some of our vanilla friends have hinted that they are in or interested in the LS. Like one time where the wife said something about going to "the club" and then the husband looked surprised as if she let the cat out of the bag and then quickly changed the subject. We let them drop it and have not asked them about it since. We figure maybe we will see them at "the club" or on one of these LS sites/apps one of these days and all have a good laugh and maybe more.
Our thought is that if our vanilla friends are interested in the LS they will know we are too because we have left enough hints through jokes and innuendos over the years. If they are interested then things will happen naturally or we will run into them like we do any other LS couple.
EVILDOERS wrote:
[quote=Canvas][quote=EVILDOERS]
Call me a pessimist but I strongly believe that the vast majority of couples, even IF they've talked about spicing up their sex life in some way, are in no way prepared for the realities of seeing their significant other fucking someone else.
Yeah, I bet that is spot on accurate! But.....they might be fine for some milder parallel same room hanky panky and such. That is our little fantasy right now. Probably a pipe dream with our friends but fun to dream about.
We found out we had a few friends who were kinky last April, and all of us converted another who was ex-mormon but still pretty straight-laced up to that point. We got lucky AF that we didn't really lose friends by opening up about this to them, and the weekly orgies are a nice plus (:
Anyone available
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Yeah, I bet that is spot on accurate! But.....they might be fine for some milder parallel same room hanky panky and such. That is our little fantasy right now. Probably a pipe dream with our friends but fun to dream about.[/quote]
I don’t think you’re wrong in believing that. We were very Mormon, and so many of our friends that we hung out with drank and smoked and talked about sexy stuff all the time. And even though we were very mormon, we would show a tit or grab somebody else’s boob all in fun. So I do not think you’re out of line at all. I think it just all depends on if your friends have open minds and like to have fun in general. If they are so Mormon that they can’t even watch a PG-13 movie that might be different but if they like have fun and talk about a little bit of sexy stuff to you might be able to have good conversations in good fun. Like I said earlier I’m not saying you have to convert them . But they really might like watching a little bit of sexy action. That doesn’t go against any of their beliefs. Take that for what it is worth.
And besides, if I remember right you were over in Bliss Idaho, and for those that do not know where bliss is there’s nothing out there except two other friends and a few squirrels and rabbits. I think it’s your best option without having to travel a long distance. Lol
Hope that all made sense I talk to text.
I don’t think you’re wrong in believing that. We were very Mormon, and so many of our friends that we hung out with drank and smoked and talked about sexy stuff all the time. And even though we were very mormon, we would show a tit or grab somebody else’s boob all in fun. So I do not think you’re out of line at all. I think it just all depends on if your friends have open minds and like to have fun in general. If they are so Mormon that they can’t even watch a PG-13 movie that might be different but if they like have fun and talk about a little bit of sexy stuff to you might be able to have good conversations in good fun. Like I said earlier I’m not saying you have to convert them . But they really might like watching a little bit of sexy action. That doesn’t go against any of their beliefs. Take that for what it is worth.
And besides, if I remember right you were over in Bliss Idaho, and for those that do not know where bliss is there’s nothing out there except two other friends and a few squirrels and rabbits. I think it’s your best option without having to travel a long distance. Lol
Hope that all made sense I talk to text.
hyfax1 wrote:
And besides, if I remember right you were over in Bliss Idaho, and for those that do not know where bliss is there’s nothing out there except two other friends and a few squirrels and rabbits. I think it’s your best option without having to travel a long distance. Lol
😂 ...and a few rattlesnakes and a hand full of country bumpkins. Oh, and a truck stop smelln' of diesel and Twinkies fresh out of the fry daddy. But down in the canyon along the river...that's a little different scene.👌 😀
Omg yes, we have friends in the LDS church that are smoking hot, and we have talked about how we would definitely swing with them if they would be open to it, but my wife fears losing the friendship she has with them. Yes, to last question I think about it all the time, "are they a potential?" I consider everyone
BlasphemousFun wrote:
Omg yes, we have friends in the LDS church that are smoking hot, and we have talked about how we would definitely swing with them if they would be open to it, but my wife fears losing the friendship she has with them. Yes, to last question I think about it all the time, "are they a potential?" I consider everyone
I'm attracted to the notion of connecting with a solid LDS couple. Something about those women🔥👍 .
> I'm attracted to the notion of connecting with a solid LDS couple. Something about those women🔥👍
Haha that's the opposite for me! If I hear someone's LDS I turn right around
Haha that's the opposite for me! If I hear someone's LDS I turn right around
DANISHDAME wrote:
> I'm attracted to the notion of connecting with a solid LDS couple. Something about those women🔥👍
Haha that's the opposite for me! If I hear someone's LDS I turn right around
Agree. The problem with Mormon women (and men!) is that if they're strict, by-the-book Mormons, they were virgins (we were!) when they got married and know little to nothing about sex and how to pleasure the human body (including their own!). It took us a LONG time to figure out sex and THEN, once we started swinging, to realize that there is a big wide world of sexual experiences and techniques and that no single act, 'move', or technique is universally preferred or desired by everyone.
Having said that, probably the vast majority of swingers we've encountered in Utah are or were Mormons and you have to decide, especially if they're new and/or you're trying to convert them, if you're kind of willing to be mentors (for lack of a better term) and/or just be very very patient and sort of go back to the basics or at least to whatever level that they're at. It's really quite sad since we've known SO many Mormons who strictly followed their law of chastity only to find, after they were married, that they weren't at all sexually compatible. And I personally think that is one of the leading causes of divorce (along with different types of abuse) among Mormons.
P.S. I hope this didn't come across as condescending. Like I said, we were Mormons and went thru pretty much everything I mentioned above. But we were some of the lucky ones who were both pretty much on the same page sexually.
P.S.S. If you DO happen to find a great current or former Mormon couple who is keen on having sex with other couples, you're likely to unleash a LOT of repressed sexual energy that you will likely enjoy very much!
EVILDOERS wrote:
P.S.S. If you DO happen to find a great current or former Mormon couple who is keen on having sex with other couples, you're likely to unleash a LOT of repressed sexual energy that you will likely enjoy very much!
👍 🙂
We grew up a religious environment so we're looking to be converted and searching for a mentor or two or three...
Canvas wrote:We resemble this remark. The only difference is we were the rarity of exploring sex with ourselves for many years before exploring with others. We are more than willing to convert you!!!
P.S.S. If you DO happen to find a great current or former Mormon couple who is keen on having sex with other couples, you're likely to unleash a LOT of repressed sexual energy that you will likely enjoy very much!
I thoroughly enjoy a good sub the extremely naughty the wild unicorn and the Vanilla
Utahldscouple wrote:
[quote=Canvas]The only difference is we were the rarity of exploring sex with ourselves
If I'm interpreting you and Evil correctly...you're saying that LDS couples normally don't explore sex with each other. If that's correct, that would be difficult for me to swallow. Forgive my ignorance here for I'm simply trying to understand but....how could a couple not explore amongst themselves behind closed doors? Is there doctrine that forbids exploration outside of, say...the standard missionary position?
I agree and disagree with this. While we explored a lot of different things by ourselves when active in the church and became fairly creative, there are things you do not learn until you are with others.
It is easy to determine the techniques and things that turn your partner on while in the church. However, when you are with others, those same techniques or actions may have no affect. At that point you have to figure out new ways of pleasing the person you are with.
There was one couple we played with and he was able to provide extreme pleasure to my wife in a way I have never done. He taught me a few things and it certainly has expanded our pleasure with each other. Just as an example.
It is easy to determine the techniques and things that turn your partner on while in the church. However, when you are with others, those same techniques or actions may have no affect. At that point you have to figure out new ways of pleasing the person you are with.
There was one couple we played with and he was able to provide extreme pleasure to my wife in a way I have never done. He taught me a few things and it certainly has expanded our pleasure with each other. Just as an example.
Canvas wrote:Utahldscouple wrote:
[quote=Canvas]The only difference is we were the rarity of exploring sex with ourselves
If I'm interpreting you and Evil correctly...you're saying that LDS couples normally don't explore sex with each other. If that's correct, that would be difficult for me to swallow. Forgive my ignorance here for I'm simply trying to understand but....how could a couple not explore amongst themselves behind closed doors? Is there doctrine that forbids exploration outside of, say...the standard missionary position?
I wouldn't necessarily call it doctrine but there are definitely guidelines and 'norms' (for lack of a better word) widely accepted in Mormondom that eschew anything that is more or less outside of normal sexual intercourse. I can definitely tell you that many if not most Mormon lay leaders (bishops, stake presidents, etc) are NOT cool with things like oral sex or anal sex or role-playing or even just sharing fantasies.
The Mormon church, along with many other mainstream religions is wont to control their members' sex lives as much as possible and consider chastity (and there is definitely a marital, as well as premarital, component to chastity in Mormonism) one of the paramount virtues to aspire to. One previous Mormon General Authority even famously labeled the sexual sins only superseded by murder in the order of seriousness.
We tried many times to play with vanilla friends. Granted this was before we became official LS members. A big reason we finally had that hard talk and came to the conclusion we were LS people was we got frustrated trying to have some naughty fun with friends. And of course it would always fizzle out when it started to get hot. We realized we needed to find more like minded friends. After our first time playing we knew we had made the right choice. And we came out to 2 friends and they just shrugged and said they already figured. Lately we have not really bothered with doing anything sexual with vanilla friends. Been having to much fun without them.😝
EVILDOERS wrote:
I wouldn't necessarily call it doctrine but there are definitely guidelines and 'norms' (for lack of a better word) widely accepted in Mormondom that eschew anything that is more or less outside of normal sexual intercourse. I can definitely tell you that many if not most Mormon lay leaders (bishops, stake presidents, etc) are NOT cool with things like oral sex or anal sex or role-playing or even just sharing fantasies.
The Mormon church, along with many other mainstream religions is wont to control their members' sex lives as much as possible and consider chastity (and there is definitely a marital, as well as premarital, component to chastity in Mormonism) one of the paramount virtues to aspire to. One previous Mormon General Authority even famously labeled the sexual sins only superseded my murder in the order of seriousness.
Thanks. Just to be clear, I'm not doubting anything. Just trying to wrap my brain around all this.🤔 Difficult for me to imagine how a couple could restrain themselves from experimenting with all those powerful feel-good hormones flying around in the moment. Some of the most old school staunch...yeah, I might be able to see it. But...in this day and age of porn and all manner of raunch available at our fingertips 24/7...it's just hard for me to fathom such rigidity.
Also, as tough as it is for me to believe...I have been told by more than one ex LDS member that anal sex was considered an acceptable form of premarital sex. Just stay away from vaginal penetration until the "I do" is spoken. Utter BS...or perhaps an outlying and loose bishop was suggestive of this as a possible option???
Hope my inquisitiveness is not offensive to anyone. Surely is not my intent.
Canvas wrote:EVILDOERS wrote:
I wouldn't necessarily call it doctrine but there are definitely guidelines and 'norms' (for lack of a better word) widely accepted in Mormondom that eschew anything that is more or less outside of normal sexual intercourse. I can definitely tell you that many if not most Mormon lay leaders (bishops, stake presidents, etc) are NOT cool with things like oral sex or anal sex or role-playing or even just sharing fantasies.
The Mormon church, along with many other mainstream religions is wont to control their members' sex lives as much as possible and consider chastity (and there is definitely a marital, as well as premarital, component to chastity in Mormonism) one of the paramount virtues to aspire to. One previous Mormon General Authority even famously labeled the sexual sins only superseded my murder in the order of seriousness.
Thanks. Just to be clear, I'm not doubting anything. Just trying to wrap my brain around all this.🤔 Difficult for me to imagine how a couple could restrain themselves from experimenting with all those powerful feel-good hormones flying around in the moment. Some of the most old school staunch...yeah, I might be able to see it. But...in this day and age of porn and all manner of raunch available at our fingertips 24/7...it's just hard for me to fathom such rigidity.
Also, as tough as it is for me to believe...I have been told by more than one ex LDS member that anal sex was considered an acceptable form of premarital sex. Just stay away from vaginal penetration until the "I do" is spoken. Utter BS...or perhaps an outlying and loose bishop was suggestive of this as a possible option???
Hope my inquisitiveness is not offensive to anyone. Surely is not my intent.
Anal sex is definitely NOT an acceptable form of premarital sex despite what some Mormons may tell themselves. Neither is soaking or jump-humping or oral sex or ANY kind of sex or sexual contact. We 'confessed' to a small amount of petting (we didn't make up that term...such a silly word) while we were engaged and our bishop threatened to not allow us to get married in the temple if we continued. It seemed perfectly normal to us as the time and we fearfully obeyed.
Now, looking from the outside, we see how utterly ridiculous and controlling it is and simply cannot fathom the idea of a purportedly loving deity having such strict 'genital rules' (what you may or may not do with your God-given genitals...and with whom)...especially when said deity so often seems to relax those very same rules for the men who claim to speak for him. Sex with young teens and other mens' wives was apparently okay for Joseph Smith but I can't make my fiance' feel good as we grow closer and prepare to become husband and wife? How does that kind of hypocrisy even make sense? *stepping down off of my soapbox*
P.S. And as far as swinging. We definitely had sex (adultery!! *gasp*) with other people while we were technically still Mormons. And we know more than a few LDS'ers who were in some way outed (or just confessed out of guilt) for swinging and were immediately excommunicated.
Being new to Utah I can not imagine how you deal with friends here with all the LDS people here. But it appears there are more LDS that have a secret side than people realize. Now how to find that out may be the trick. I always cut up and joke so they would be able to get the hint so they could decide on making the move or not. If you comment in a fun way in a joking environment eventually information will start being revealed. If not they are probably not into it and you can always excuse it as joking or cutting up. lol I have found out more than I wanted to know from some friends of ours over the years. Even some we had no interest in. It is just my nature to cut up a make funny comments. So they get comfortable talking back. That can backfire too lol.
theseduction747 wrote:
Being new to Utah I can not imagine how you deal with friends here with all the LDS people here. But it appears there are more LDS that have a secret side than people realize. Now how to find that out may be the trick. I always cut up and joke so they would be able to get the hint so they could decide on making the move or not. If you comment in a fun way in a joking environment eventually information will start being revealed. If not they are probably not into it and you can always excuse it as joking or cutting up. lol I have found out more than I wanted to know from some friends of ours over the years. Even some we had no interest in. It is just my nature to cut up a make funny comments. So they get comfortable talking back. That can backfire too lol.
The feeling we've gotten from chatting privately with people here is that a good percentage of swingers in Utah are indeed LDS, whether active or inactive. Appears too a good number are former LDS members cutting loose. With no judgement or disrespect to the LDS reading this, I find it fascinating.
At any rate, thanks for the post and good idea with joking around.