Just throwing this out there..
What are the rules of a fwb . We all have our assumptions..some of mine fell free to add..
- brutal honesty
-honest discussion
-we both have separate lives
- meet ups min 3 times a month
-listens to one anothers fantasies
I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg , and rules are different for hotwife scenario's. So is the a lack of true fwb relations out there seems so hard to find.. I'm curious..
Tom
What are the rules of a fwb . We all have our assumptions..some of mine fell free to add..
- brutal honesty
-honest discussion
-we both have separate lives
- meet ups min 3 times a month
-listens to one anothers fantasies
I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg , and rules are different for hotwife scenario's. So is the a lack of true fwb relations out there seems so hard to find.. I'm curious..
Tom
The single one's can't follow the rules, at some point they will try to suggest a solo meeting or something. Have cut a few playmates off because of this, their loss.
We’ve done friends with benefits with guys and girls. The guys are the worst. We enjoy having fun and we’ve both even done it solo many times. None of our girlfriends have ever had an issue but the guys always seem too. First, I think the drive to have or “own” something outweighs logic in 99% of single men & cheating husbands. If you’re a guy looking to be a third or to use another guys wife realize you are the outsider. There are lots of guys to replace you. Be respectful! You can be as kinky as you want during your hookup but you have to go through the right channels. Don’t be an ass and try to cut out the spouse. If you want to do a solo hookup ask the other spouse if it’s cool. This shouldn’t even be considered till you’ve earned some serious trust though. We really enjoy a respectful third on occasion be it a guy or girl.
NEW2THIS4YOU wrote:
We’ve done friends with benefits with guys and girls. The guys are the worst. We enjoy having fun and we’ve both even done it solo many times. None of our girlfriends have ever had an issue but the guys always seem too. First, I think the drive to have or “own” something outweighs logic in 99% of single men & cheating husbands. If you’re a guy looking to be a third or to use another guys wife realize you are the outsider. There are lots of guys to replace you. Be respectful! You can be as kinky as you want during your hookup but you have to go through the right channels. Don’t be an ass and try to cut out the spouse. If you want to do a solo hookup ask the other spouse if it’s cool. This shouldn’t even be considered till you’ve earned some serious trust though. We really enjoy a respectful third on occasion be it a guy or girl.
Great points ...
We find the right single male and it’s amazing we have had long term relationships in the past hard to come by anymore. Seems like the dynamics of swinging have changed over the years
THREESOME2 wrote:
The single one's can't follow the rules, at some point they will try to suggest a solo meeting or something. Have cut a few playmates off because of this, their loss.
So true I've heard and seen this done ..the rules shall not be broken or your cut out..
NEW2THIS4YOU wrote:
We’ve done friends with benefits with guys and girls. The guys are the worst. We enjoy having fun and we’ve both even done it solo many times. None of our girlfriends have ever had an issue but the guys always seem too. First, I think the drive to have or “own” something outweighs logic in 99% of single men & cheating husbands. If you’re a guy looking to be a third or to use another guys wife realize you are the outsider. There are lots of guys to replace you. Be respectful! You can be as kinky as you want during your hookup but you have to go through the right channels. Don’t be an ass and try to cut out the spouse. If you want to do a solo hookup ask the other spouse if it’s cool. This shouldn’t even be considered till you’ve earned some serious trust though. We really enjoy a respectful third on occasion be it a guy or girl.
This is the exactly what we’ve had trouble with and why I wish we could just find one or two guys/gals or couples to develop a long term FWB. Unfortunately, we can’t seem to get past the first meeting without the guy trying to make arrangements for an individual hookup behind the husbands back.
Luvrs42 wrote:
This is the exactly what we’ve had trouble with and why I wish we could just find one or two guys/gals or couples to develop a long term FWB. Unfortunately, we can’t seem to get past the first meeting without the guy trying to make arrangements for an individual hookup behind the husbands back.
There are some of us out here! We’ve found a few in the years we’ve done this. It’s super tough though. Unfortunately the ones we really liked and had good long term relationships with ended when we moved back to Idaho. Distance is tough. But we still get together with some of them on vacation. We’ve met a couple here that’s super cool too. Happy hunting and feel free to say hello people!
We prefer single girls single guys tend to be more sneaky and on the sly. So we enjoy meeting couples and single girls and when it’s couples we get to know each other we play alone at times
We are admittedly new to this so forgive our ignorance but... we find it strange that (so many) single men are even on a site that one might think is just for couples.
Deedub70 wrote:
We are admittedly new to this so forgive our ignorance but... we find it strange that (so many) single men are even on a site that one might think is just for couples.
I know right! Sadly most of them aren’t actually single either!
Seems to us from what we have seen. Most of the SM we have encountered are more interested in a hit it and quit it, can't carry a conversation, dont want a meet up to see if there is interest, talk to much about their junk, profiles lack any sort of real effort. Some have even stood up spouse at a scheduled meet up they agreed too, etc etc etc....sad to say, we are not sure any good ones are left. And before some of you SM's blow up this message. Physical attraction has to be there. Let's be real, no way in 1 or 2 meet ups, you know someone's character and or personality, so like it or not, there has to be some physical attraction. And yes, the women we have encountered in the fwb, seem to know their role in the relationship.
Yes we definitely stick to couples and single girls it just seems to work out better that way it’s not only me but the Mrs. also notices and agrees with the same things that I do and it seems that most of you agree single men are definitely not the way to go
If only there were some good single males out there. We have had some very long term regular encounters in the past but sadly they have moved away or shown their true colors
I like to play by the rules, be respectful and also open up and have fun! We all enjoy the lifestyle and as a single male, should also ask about boundaries and turnons and offs.
I've been in the lifestyle as both a couple and a single male; there is definitely some additional "rules" (more like advice) that I would recommend. Most of this applies to any singles, of course, though it is the single males who have a bad reputation.
First, good communication is extremely important. Be aware that every relationship dynamic is different. OP says they want minimum 3 meetups a month with a fwb; other people may want 1x a month, or only a play partner at events, or whatever. Without good communication, you won't know what people are looking for, so be honest and open in your communications. Also communicate about your boundaries, their boundaries, fantasies they want fulfilled, etc.
Second, be respectful of your play partners. Unless the couple you want to play with specifically requests a solo date, don't try to set one up. There are couples that date alone; they tend to be more on the poly side or some hotwife scenarios, but they are not the default. As a single individual, couples generally want you involved to enhance their relationship not because they're looking for a replacement.
Third, and this one applies to males only, don't assume you have to be some "alpha" bull in order to be desirable. At both events and vacation spots, I've seen single males who just assume that anybody who wants to play with them needs them to take charge, cuck/humiliate the husband, and show her a "real man". There are couples that like that, sure, but it's a weird thing to assume is the default and open with it.
And finally, know what you are "for" (even though I hate that phrasing). There have been a number of bad apples that have soured the barrel for single males, and if all you do is read the forums you'll think that nobody wants to play with a single male ever. Fortunately, that's just not true. There are plenty of people that are willing to play with single males once that connection is actually established. Remember that random cocks are a dime a dozen; if you want to be successful in this lifestyle as a single male, don't forget that you are building friendships and relationships. If you're just trying to get laid or hookup, the lifestyle is probably not the place for you.
First, good communication is extremely important. Be aware that every relationship dynamic is different. OP says they want minimum 3 meetups a month with a fwb; other people may want 1x a month, or only a play partner at events, or whatever. Without good communication, you won't know what people are looking for, so be honest and open in your communications. Also communicate about your boundaries, their boundaries, fantasies they want fulfilled, etc.
Second, be respectful of your play partners. Unless the couple you want to play with specifically requests a solo date, don't try to set one up. There are couples that date alone; they tend to be more on the poly side or some hotwife scenarios, but they are not the default. As a single individual, couples generally want you involved to enhance their relationship not because they're looking for a replacement.
Third, and this one applies to males only, don't assume you have to be some "alpha" bull in order to be desirable. At both events and vacation spots, I've seen single males who just assume that anybody who wants to play with them needs them to take charge, cuck/humiliate the husband, and show her a "real man". There are couples that like that, sure, but it's a weird thing to assume is the default and open with it.
And finally, know what you are "for" (even though I hate that phrasing). There have been a number of bad apples that have soured the barrel for single males, and if all you do is read the forums you'll think that nobody wants to play with a single male ever. Fortunately, that's just not true. There are plenty of people that are willing to play with single males once that connection is actually established. Remember that random cocks are a dime a dozen; if you want to be successful in this lifestyle as a single male, don't forget that you are building friendships and relationships. If you're just trying to get laid or hookup, the lifestyle is probably not the place for you.
HoneyBunnies wrote:This is pretty dead on in so many ways. To add a little bit to communication. Don't commit to meeting if you can't. Don't assume every couple wants the same thing and you might find out something turns us off (e.g. Bull/Alpha male mentality is a huge turn off for us). Pay attention to what your profile says because if you aren't careful you are being eliminated before you even start the conversation. The last point is the most important, you are building friendships.
I've been in the lifestyle as both a couple and a single male; there is definitely some additional "rules" (more like advice) that I would recommend. Most of this applies to any singles, of course, though it is the single males who have a bad reputation.
First, good communication is extremely important. Be aware that every relationship dynamic is different. OP says they want minimum 3 meetups a month with a fwb; other people may want 1x a month, or only a play partner at events, or whatever. Without good communication, you won't know what people are looking for, so be honest and open in your communications. Also communicate about your boundaries, their boundaries, fantasies they want fulfilled, etc.
Second, be respectful of your play partners. Unless the couple you want to play with specifically requests a solo date, don't try to set one up. There are couples that date alone; they tend to be more on the poly side or some hotwife scenarios, but they are not the default. As a single individual, couples generally want you involved to enhance their relationship not because they're looking for a replacement.
Third, and this one applies to males only, don't assume you have to be some "alpha" bull in order to be desirable. At both events and vacation spots, I've seen single males who just assume that anybody who wants to play with them needs them to take charge, cuck/humiliate the husband, and show her a "real man". There are couples that like that, sure, but it's a weird thing to assume is the default and open with it.
And finally, know what you are "for" (even though I hate that phrasing). There have been a number of bad apples that have soured the barrel for single males, and if all you do is read the forums you'll think that nobody wants to play with a single male ever. Fortunately, that's just not true. There are plenty of people that are willing to play with single males once that connection is actually established. Remember that random cocks are a dime a dozen; if you want to be successful in this lifestyle as a single male, don't forget that you are building friendships and relationships. If you're just trying to get laid or hookup, the lifestyle is probably not the place for you.