After our mutual recent experience with yet another creepy/crappy single male here on Swingular, I thought that maybe I would TRY to help the nice, decent, respectful ones out a little bit and start a thread where people could, maybe, lay out what circumstances or conditions might be necessary for a given couple or woman to be interested in single males in general or in a single male specifically so that the single male wouldn't waste their time or annoy those who could, at least under certain circumstances, want the company of an SM.
Let's try to keep this civil. I know that some here don't want ANY contact with single men. whatsoever, so you really don't need to post up the fact that you don't or WHY you don't. I would prefer that we only hear from couples or ladies who ARE open to it and for them to state how/when, etc. they might be interested.
We'll start. We used to play with single males on occasion but quickly found that it wasn't our vibe so Ms. Evil tried doing it solo for a bit but became disenchanted (to say the least)
quite quickly...for various reasons. We now are still somewhat open to that particular dynamic but have decided that, for us, it would only really work if it happened completely serendipitously and organically at, say, a club, a meetup, or some other venue where there wasn't really any kind of forced or pressured expectation of interaction other than polite conversation with zero agenda. We def don't prefer that initial contact be by email or blind friend request. I know that's probably a bit disappointing to some but it's where our comfort level is right now.
Okay, now's your chance to let the nice guys here know how or when they might be able to join in some of your sexy fun. It can be anything from setting to physical characteristics, to personality, to...well, anything. BE NICE, please.
Let's try to keep this civil. I know that some here don't want ANY contact with single men. whatsoever, so you really don't need to post up the fact that you don't or WHY you don't. I would prefer that we only hear from couples or ladies who ARE open to it and for them to state how/when, etc. they might be interested.
We'll start. We used to play with single males on occasion but quickly found that it wasn't our vibe so Ms. Evil tried doing it solo for a bit but became disenchanted (to say the least)
quite quickly...for various reasons. We now are still somewhat open to that particular dynamic but have decided that, for us, it would only really work if it happened completely serendipitously and organically at, say, a club, a meetup, or some other venue where there wasn't really any kind of forced or pressured expectation of interaction other than polite conversation with zero agenda. We def don't prefer that initial contact be by email or blind friend request. I know that's probably a bit disappointing to some but it's where our comfort level is right now.
Okay, now's your chance to let the nice guys here know how or when they might be able to join in some of your sexy fun. It can be anything from setting to physical characteristics, to personality, to...well, anything. BE NICE, please.
I know of one particular single male who appears to be in high demand. I have observed him at parties and MeetNGreets. He is also one of the few that my partner is attracted to, and we have discussed what it is that she finds attractive about him. In short, it is that she feels safe around him. He doesn't come on strong. He doesn't even hit on women. He is just friendly and kind, and he makes an effort to talk with everyone. Consequently, everyone seems to know him, and they like his personality. He is not in the least creepy. Basically, the women end up hitting on him, and he seems to welcome it, and is open to all women. He also is respectful to the men, as well as the women. Before engaging with a woman, if she is part of a couple, he checks with the male half to see if he is okay with it. That's it. The secret, basically, is to be courteous, friendly, and respectful.
I tend to prefer single males who have a profile they've put some work into, pictures that show interesting experiences or something about them that I can use to open dialogue and connect with. I like witty, silly, a good pickup line, and follow up and through. I'm looking for someone who is going to be a gentleman, who makes me feel comfortable and safe, until or unless otherwise negotiated.
If you talk up your dick size, oral skills, that you can fuck for hours or that your dick is better than what I have at home, I will assume all of those things to be untrue and I will pass.
**Blind friend requests will also be ignored.
If you talk up your dick size, oral skills, that you can fuck for hours or that your dick is better than what I have at home, I will assume all of those things to be untrue and I will pass.
**Blind friend requests will also be ignored.
MANDIEQT, dialogue and connection is a very good point. If the man can not covers ate beyond the lustful greed he may have, it might be clear the compatibility will be vacant. Im glad you and a fe others have been so kind to recognize not all singe men on here are creepy. Just sucks as so many are and it is understandable women and couples get burned and give up.
This is a nice topic. I hope more decent women find it promising that a few good guys do exist.
This is a nice topic. I hope more decent women find it promising that a few good guys do exist.
Thank you for starting this thread and topic. I know that there are a lot of SMs that give the few a bad rap. I honestly would like to be considered one of the good ones and just need a chance. The "Golden Rule" seems to apply in many aspects of life and especially here. I try and put myself in the other Male half's position and ask, how would I like to be treated and spoken to if it was me?
I have also thought it would be nice if we as SMs could be ranked by CPLs and SFs. Kind of like Uber lets the drivers rate the passengers and the passengers rate the drivers. Just a thought!
Thank you to all the couples that consider SMs and I wish you all the best!
I have also thought it would be nice if we as SMs could be ranked by CPLs and SFs. Kind of like Uber lets the drivers rate the passengers and the passengers rate the drivers. Just a thought!
Thank you to all the couples that consider SMs and I wish you all the best!
Mandieqt. I tried to be fun in my profile. I think I could use some additional photos. I would love your input on what I have so far.
Perhaps a list of those that truly exist and/or aren't picture collectors. We have a couple that we have had join us but also have had just as many that flake out or may not have been what they said they were. Not sure if that crosses lines or not....
As an fyi, you can leave comments for a profile. They have to approve them so you can't out a bad one but you can leave a "positive review" as it were.
I agree with what Mandieqt had to say. Thank you Miss!
Just be yourself!! Sometimes a nice guy could not match with all the couples,or some single ladies..just be who you are, because faking some face,pictures or personality is not good , at some point the true comes out!Ohh and i almost forgot...be honest!!good luck for all
In the 15 years of being a member of swingular, I have met some wonderful single ladies and couples. A very small percentage has been offbeat and that's to be expected in this lifestyle. But on the upside, I would have not change the experience I had in meeting some wonderful people members. Pushing forward in making fantastic friendships and memories.
We don't mind single males of any age. The problem is finding one who is comfortable around my husband, respectful. And can also carry a conversation as well.
Hi i never really post on threads as I’m still getting used to using this site. I appreciate @EVILDOERS for starting this conversation because i do feel like SM’s get a bad rep because of the ones that don’t fully grasp what the lifestyle is about please tell me if I’m wrong. I can be the first to admit that when i first got in the LS I didn’t know what it was about and that was almost 10 years ago. I have grown to know alot of couples and single women and men in the LS. I’m not here to degrade or make a woman feel like or be treated like any lessor form. I make sure that the wife/girlfriend knows that I’m there to satisfy her desires and to also be able to make friends in an out of the LS. Now i know some might call me a simp but let’s be honest we’re all in the LS to explore things that the outside world frown upon. So i just say to everyone please take the time to atleast give those SM’s a fair chance and not treat us like the ones that are only in it for their satisfaction and not the woman’s we all don’t think the same way
This is a great thread. We have been in the lifestyle almost our entire married life. We have an interest in single males and have met some over the years that have that I’m just a really nice and caring type person. That being said some have moved out of country or state that were really good friends. I agree a rating system would be great however when we find the right unicorn who really wants to share lol. Single males please please send a thoughtful note and engage in a conversation back and forth before sending a friend request. You will be surprised what happens instead of crickets
Showed my wife this thread and she asked me to add another thing. This one is more of a what NOT to do, however. To ALL single males: Don't imagine for a second that most or even many couples on a swingsite are into any form of cuckolding. I'm certain there are some who are (they'll likely tell you that they are) but we've run into enough SM's over the years who ABSOLUTELY think that cuckolding is the main dynamic and driver behind the lifestyle when nothing could be further from the truth. Unless he was just trolling, that seemed to be the mindset of California/LayingPipe and it's not a unique position in our experience.
Also, and this goes along with what I've previously said, do NOT, under any circumstances, EVER, say to a lady swinger who has a partner, "If you were my wife/gf/partner I would never share you.". You would be SHOCKED at the number of times Ms. Evil has been told this (usually when I'm not there or within earshot). I'm guessing that the SM's who say this somehow think it makes them come off as, I dunno, romantic or caring or something but it actually makes you sound like a possessive, arrogant, controlling prick and is (trust me) a YUGE turnoff to women.
Also, and this goes along with what I've previously said, do NOT, under any circumstances, EVER, say to a lady swinger who has a partner, "If you were my wife/gf/partner I would never share you.". You would be SHOCKED at the number of times Ms. Evil has been told this (usually when I'm not there or within earshot). I'm guessing that the SM's who say this somehow think it makes them come off as, I dunno, romantic or caring or something but it actually makes you sound like a possessive, arrogant, controlling prick and is (trust me) a YUGE turnoff to women.
Maleficient wrote:
🙋🏻♀️ Hi there this is exactly what I look for. Who is this mysterious man?
Right? We have been searching for a male exactly like that
Maleficient wrote:
RIGHT?? I think I need to be pointed In his direction! 😂
But the best part that I can see about that whole thing, is that he comes with good reviews! If only there was a system for this. Like someone above said. Matching and messaging based on profiles and pictures can only go so far but if people can vouch for a good safe person, that’s like the ultimate. Kinda like how it used to be in the older dating days where people introduced you to single friends. 😂 yeah I’m old
We have had a few over the years recommended to us and they were amazing but sadly things have changed or people have moved. And I gladly put compliments on their page if they are great people
Okay so here me out, I had a girlfriend that was into the LS and opened the door for me but she has since met a man who’s not into it. I’m still very interested in getting involved in the community and looking for friends or anyone who can help me get involved. I’m not here for hookups, trust me there are way better ways to find that. The guys who have no luck on tinder or other places spill into here and it sounds like they’re just giving me a bad name. I’ve messaged many couples on here and have been underwhelmed with the responses. I don’t want to play games, I want to get out there and meet people in person and just get to the point where I can establish a reputation for myself but at this point I’m at a loss. Any advice or help would be appreciated
Maleficient wrote:The true unicornWhiskey_Girl wrote:
Right? We have been searching for a male exactly like that
RIGHT?? I think I need to be pointed In his direction! 😂
But the best part that I can see about that whole thing, is that he comes with good reviews! If only there was a system for this. Like someone above said. Matching and messaging based on profiles and pictures can only go so far but if people can vouch for a good safe person, that’s like the ultimate. Kinda like how it used to be in the older dating days where people introduced you to single friends. 😂 yeah I’m old
!Maleficient wrote:
But the best part that I can see about that whole thing, is that he comes with good reviews! If only there was a system for this.
If you use the desktop website, you can see public comments on profiles, I have a few.
To evildoers earlier point, I'll venture that the vast majority of guys who enjoy watching their woman have fun are stags, not cuckolds. I very much fall into the category of a stag. I love to watch (and participate, and especially reclaim), but try to humiliate me, marginalize me or drive a wedge between me and my woman and at best the evening is over in a hurry.
Stag/Vixen Definition:
"In the case of stags and vixens, there isn’t the same element of humiliation. The man (stag) who would in cuckolding be the cuck instead enjoys watching his other half (vixen) getting sexual gratification from other men.
She (the genders can be reversed but that’s less common) enjoys performing and being watched.
Also, stags and vixens doesn’t preclude the man being involved. As well as watching he might eventually join in with his partner and another man rather than enjoying being excluded."
https://metro.co.uk/2018/06/04/stag-vixen-sex-super-popular-different-cuckolding-7603612/
Stag/Vixen Definition:
"In the case of stags and vixens, there isn’t the same element of humiliation. The man (stag) who would in cuckolding be the cuck instead enjoys watching his other half (vixen) getting sexual gratification from other men.
She (the genders can be reversed but that’s less common) enjoys performing and being watched.
Also, stags and vixens doesn’t preclude the man being involved. As well as watching he might eventually join in with his partner and another man rather than enjoying being excluded."
https://metro.co.uk/2018/06/04/stag-vixen-sex-super-popular-different-cuckolding-7603612/
Sorry…lol… I didn’t realize that having a single guy over for some fun needed to be so complicated. It seems so uncomplicated. I need google just read and understand (cuckolding, cuck, stag, vixen, bulls, whatever) :-)
We are interested in single straight guys. Pretty simple: If you are a nice guy and take the time to get know us, we might be interested if we all feel comfortable. However, for some reason every year it’s becoming increasingly hard to find….Or we might just be picky.
We are interested in single straight guys. Pretty simple: If you are a nice guy and take the time to get know us, we might be interested if we all feel comfortable. However, for some reason every year it’s becoming increasingly hard to find….Or we might just be picky.
babolat1231 wrote:
Sorry…lol… I didn’t realize that having a single guy over for some fun needed to be so complicated. It seems so uncomplicated. I need google just read and understand (cuckolding, cuck, stag, vixen, bulls, whatever) :-)
We are interested in single straight guys. Pretty simple: If you are a nice guy and take the time to get know us, we might be interested if we all feel comfortable. However, for some reason every year it’s becoming increasingly hard to find….Or we might just be picky.
Ok? So what makes a guy stand out to you? Is it just blind luck? Right time, right place? They have more than 2 pictures? They make you laugh? They keep messaging? You mention it's getting harder, that you're getting pickier, so kink terminology aside, what's a guy gotta do to get naked with you? Cause that's really what the thread is for. Helping foster connections in the most successful way possible.
Well I would say actually showing up for meet up/date would be a good start. Standing up someone after week of chatting back and forth is way way way not cool. For now I will leave it at that since I don't really have alot of time to address the full issue at this point
Showing up is huge. Mrs says she is 1 part face, 1 part body, 1 part personality, and 1 part intellect. She says she needs 3 parts to make somewhat of a connection. Having face and body (can be clothed) pics is a must, good conversation via text (not just hey what's up or she's hot or let's fuck), be respectful, be nice, know you are not a replacement just an added enhancement, and lastly actually show up when you decide to meet. Not to be too mean here but do an honest self evaluation a little before sending request. Just our 2 cents.
Okay, everyone here favorite topic: Single Males, here we go again. So, another attempt to help out single males, writing a LS manual for them, giving them advice? What happened? They don't seem to get it? Please consider the following:
1. They have way more options that LS couples. Single males (and all singles) can find people to date, meet, play, get pegged by virtually anywhere online and offline. I'm talking POF, Tinder, Ashley Madison, fuckin' E-Harmony and they won't hesitate to hit on women on the decoupage forum on Reddit. Now, that's not all, they can also go to a bar, a library, a public event and in UT's case, a church, strike a conversation and find a girlfriend or an occasional lover. Well, is that all?? No, as a single male recently said on a gangbang thread, there is an abundance of prostitutes ready to serve them. And, ya'll wanna encourage single males here too? There is a reason why pimps make money and why single males are charged way more at LS events and websites: there are too many single males looking for action and profits are simply too good to ignore. Continuous encouragement to normalize them as part of the LS will result on couple's LS activities turning into sausagefests. We just can't see a couple at a restaurant, for example, come up to them, strike a conversation and then suggest a 4some. Yet, they can do that with a lady. They should not be encouraged nor helped to be a part of the LS as their options are way more diverse than ours.
2. They are simply incompatible with the LS. Almost all of them merely seek easy, effortless sex with as many women as they can. If you say you are into My Little Pony, he'll say he's Fluttershy, if you say your lady likes to get massages, he'll say he is an expert in massages because he got a ton of them in Thailand (with happy endings). Anything to get with your lady. However, they are always clueless about how to get with couples, asking if swinger couples wear neon collars to identify themselves, asking why they can't get any sex here, saying that they are awesome, cool, caring, telling you about their cock size right on their usernames (ie BBC-BWC). And, why do they need so much guidance? Any couples needed an entire manual when they got into the LS? A single male would never understand couple's dynamics and much less women as a married man playing with his wife would. And, if they would understand it, they will have a partner. I said almost all of them are incompatible, this means that searching for that 0.0001% of good ones is simply waste of time.
3. They'll flood the LS. This goes back to point 1. As they gain terrain in the LS, they will continue learning and normalizing their relationships. So, they will become more abundant at LS venues and house parties and they will take up couple's schedules. A couple may not consider meeting another couple because they made plans with a single male.
4. They are unreliable and they lie. For this point I'll just paste a reply I gave to another couple on another forum.
When a couple decide to meet with single males, they struggle with very basic issues such as honesty and reliability. Single Males lie a lot just to get some action. And ironically, they fail to show up when given the opportunity. I'm not making this up, folks, just read what other couples have to say.
5. Additional points: They always need some sort of gimmick to get your attention. I swear, the older ones are all massage experts, have a BBC or a BWC. Married males do not have to advertise such things. Also, your inbox will explode. There are some good ones, yes, but finding those is not worth your time when there is an abundance of beautiful, competent couples seeking to meet couples.
1. They have way more options that LS couples. Single males (and all singles) can find people to date, meet, play, get pegged by virtually anywhere online and offline. I'm talking POF, Tinder, Ashley Madison, fuckin' E-Harmony and they won't hesitate to hit on women on the decoupage forum on Reddit. Now, that's not all, they can also go to a bar, a library, a public event and in UT's case, a church, strike a conversation and find a girlfriend or an occasional lover. Well, is that all?? No, as a single male recently said on a gangbang thread, there is an abundance of prostitutes ready to serve them. And, ya'll wanna encourage single males here too? There is a reason why pimps make money and why single males are charged way more at LS events and websites: there are too many single males looking for action and profits are simply too good to ignore. Continuous encouragement to normalize them as part of the LS will result on couple's LS activities turning into sausagefests. We just can't see a couple at a restaurant, for example, come up to them, strike a conversation and then suggest a 4some. Yet, they can do that with a lady. They should not be encouraged nor helped to be a part of the LS as their options are way more diverse than ours.
2. They are simply incompatible with the LS. Almost all of them merely seek easy, effortless sex with as many women as they can. If you say you are into My Little Pony, he'll say he's Fluttershy, if you say your lady likes to get massages, he'll say he is an expert in massages because he got a ton of them in Thailand (with happy endings). Anything to get with your lady. However, they are always clueless about how to get with couples, asking if swinger couples wear neon collars to identify themselves, asking why they can't get any sex here, saying that they are awesome, cool, caring, telling you about their cock size right on their usernames (ie BBC-BWC). And, why do they need so much guidance? Any couples needed an entire manual when they got into the LS? A single male would never understand couple's dynamics and much less women as a married man playing with his wife would. And, if they would understand it, they will have a partner. I said almost all of them are incompatible, this means that searching for that 0.0001% of good ones is simply waste of time.
3. They'll flood the LS. This goes back to point 1. As they gain terrain in the LS, they will continue learning and normalizing their relationships. So, they will become more abundant at LS venues and house parties and they will take up couple's schedules. A couple may not consider meeting another couple because they made plans with a single male.
4. They are unreliable and they lie. For this point I'll just paste a reply I gave to another couple on another forum.
This was their question:
This was my answer:
When a couple decide to meet with single males, they struggle with very basic issues such as honesty and reliability. Single Males lie a lot just to get some action. And ironically, they fail to show up when given the opportunity. I'm not making this up, folks, just read what other couples have to say.
5. Additional points: They always need some sort of gimmick to get your attention. I swear, the older ones are all massage experts, have a BBC or a BWC. Married males do not have to advertise such things. Also, your inbox will explode. There are some good ones, yes, but finding those is not worth your time when there is an abundance of beautiful, competent couples seeking to meet couples.
Ilovehotmoms wrote:
Okay so here me out, I had a girlfriend that was into the LS and opened the door for me but she has since met a man who’s not into it. I’m still very interested in getting involved in the community and looking for friends or anyone who can help me get involved. I’m not here for hookups, trust me there are way better ways to find that. The guys who have no luck on tinder or other places spill into here and it sounds like they’re just giving me a bad name. I’ve messaged many couples on here and have been underwhelmed with the responses. I don’t want to play games, I want to get out there and meet people in person and just get to the point where I can establish a reputation for myself but at this point I’m at a loss. Any advice or help would be appreciated
Yup, you had the wrong idea when you started this profile. Is simply not going to work. You can get involved with the community if you use your "better" sources and find a girl who is compatible with your desires to join. And there are many out there. Take your time and search and don't expect everything to be handed out to you by simply typing a few words and saying you like moms. That in my opinion is a very ignorant way to approach ladies. This is a simple as going from point A to point B, step by step. Once you get your girl, you join as a couple and you'll see how everything will change. If you can't fulfill this very basic requirement, your experience here will be a waste of money and time. Godspeed Motherlover.
This site caters not just to couples but singles as well. While the market for single men is smaller it does exist. Just because you don't see the value doesn't make your opinion, especially as it was pretty explicity not asked for, interesting or valid.
You assume I’m trying to meet women for easy sex and that’s false. I would rather go on fun dates where I can be myself than try and enter a whole new scene where I feel unsure, self conscious and embarrassed. If I was looking for a normal relationship I wouldn’t be here. I’m interested in meeting couples and other members of the community firstly, to meet friends. Just because I was born with dick and balls doesn’t mean I want anything sexual unless I like them back and it’s honestly not even my goal for being here. My goal is to meet and mingle and find someone in person, I hate messaging on this stupid site. One of my very best friends, a girl who has experience is the one convincing me to try it out in the first place.
It’s fascinating to me how transparent, honest and open I can be and still be judged because of your own (not entirely baseless) assumptions. I understand you’ve probably had bad experiences with single males in the past but not all of us are bad or too lazy to find sex through the proper channels. I’m intrigued by couples and will still be intrigued when I get my next girlfriend, but in the meantime, here I am.