Swingers Forum - Looking for a gardening mentor

I'm looking for someone who's a great gardener to teach me how to grow stuff. I can't seem to get it right. In exchange, we would love to spend some time entertaining in our bar and/or hot tub. Single females or married females with a hall pass preferred - but no strings attached - I'm really serious about learning to grow stuff in the garden. Anything else is just a bonus.

So, your quest for a female gardener aside, here are some tips from 11 years experience in Utah....obviously, Utah soils are void of organic matter & clayish, so tilth building is an ongoing progress...DO NOT add straight peat moss, it will suck every bit of water & life from your soil for years as it breakdowns...bag potting soil blend w/ peat moss is OK. If you are fortunate to be close to a residential building site, ask for some of the topsoil...always in a separate pile, different from the deep excavated sub-soil...each fall I sow hairy vetch from Granite Seed in Lehi, by the Hadco yard...grows thru the fall, winter dormant, then grows in the spring....a deep rooted legume that adds nitrogen, & breaks down soil ...for planting spring vegis, I mow a small area, and turn the vetch w/ a shovel. I buy my scallions, carrots, lettuce, spinach, radish seeds in bulk from Mountain Valley Seeds on 2700 South, SLC; my tomato, squash, pepper starts I buy at Cooks in Orem..as well as fruit trees & berries...my trumpet, clematis, honeysuckle & butterfly bushes came from Millcreek Gardens in SLC...paramount is building your soils...I compost my grass clippings & apply to my tomatoes, squash & peepers, around mid-June, after the soil has deeply warmed...Utah State Univ. Extension website is loaded w/ information...hope this helps...gardening can be cyclic in Utah...i.e. this years spinach has rusted early due to the early intense sun & heat....best yellow onion crop ever...tried bare roots for the first time this spring along w/ the usual onion sets...also, did away with tomato cages, and experimenting w/ the Florida System this year...good luck !