I've been chatting and finally had a date with, a couple I'd exchanged at least 100 messages with. We get halfway through dinner and bam, they drop it. The rule. The rule they knew would be a dealbreaker, since its listed in my profile AND we talked about it during our messaging. So of course, they waited until I was at dinner to drop it.
Don't be this couple. If you have rules that infringe on someone else, you need to be upfront. Drop it in your profile preferably but at least before you meet. This slight of hand is icky. You're hoping someone else will overlook or change their boundary because they actually showed up, invested time, are reasonably interested, put on fucking pants, etc. This behavior is manipulative, non-consensual and honestly its douchy at best.
So now I'm ticked. I've wasted time and energy talking to and meeting this couple that could have been better spent, meeting a couple or someone who would have been a better fit for both of us. Anyone else get the bait and switch? Not just looks, as sadly we've all been there once or twice, but rules or similar bait and switch.
Don't be this couple. If you have rules that infringe on someone else, you need to be upfront. Drop it in your profile preferably but at least before you meet. This slight of hand is icky. You're hoping someone else will overlook or change their boundary because they actually showed up, invested time, are reasonably interested, put on fucking pants, etc. This behavior is manipulative, non-consensual and honestly its douchy at best.
So now I'm ticked. I've wasted time and energy talking to and meeting this couple that could have been better spent, meeting a couple or someone who would have been a better fit for both of us. Anyone else get the bait and switch? Not just looks, as sadly we've all been there once or twice, but rules or similar bait and switch.
100 messages? Well before that we would have considered it a colossal waste of time and energy.
We don't know exactly what rule was the dealbreaker, but you have a lot of them. Your profile narrative leads with negative energy and exudes it throughout. It's fatiguing to read. Maybe offering yourself as a unicorn requires a lot of specifics upfront to try to avoid the douchy and manipulative. Some lighthearted witty and sensual sections, but a lot is already in your answers above or could be stated clearly in a positive manner versus a rant about asshole douches and the many ways you react. We don't think anyone's surprised you get ticked...easily, but how's that going for you?
Just our opinion, and we all know what those can be worth sometimes. Dishonest types manipulating situations with bait and switch are unfortunately all too common. You're not alone, but rise above it and move on. Sorry this happened to you.
We don't know exactly what rule was the dealbreaker, but you have a lot of them. Your profile narrative leads with negative energy and exudes it throughout. It's fatiguing to read. Maybe offering yourself as a unicorn requires a lot of specifics upfront to try to avoid the douchy and manipulative. Some lighthearted witty and sensual sections, but a lot is already in your answers above or could be stated clearly in a positive manner versus a rant about asshole douches and the many ways you react. We don't think anyone's surprised you get ticked...easily, but how's that going for you?
Just our opinion, and we all know what those can be worth sometimes. Dishonest types manipulating situations with bait and switch are unfortunately all too common. You're not alone, but rise above it and move on. Sorry this happened to you.
What was “the rule” ?
Dam
SexyPowSkiers wrote:
100 messages? Well before that we would have considered it a colossal waste of time and energy.
We don't know exactly what rule was the dealbreaker, but you have a lot of them. Your profile narrative leads with negative energy and exudes it throughout. It's fatiguing to read. Maybe offering yourself as a unicorn requires a lot of specifics upfront to try to avoid the douchy and manipulative. Some lighthearted witty and sensual sections, but a lot is already in your answers above or could be stated clearly in a positive manner versus a rant about asshole douches and the many ways you react. We don't think anyone's surprised you get ticked...easily, but how's that going for you?
Just our opinion, and we all know what those can be worth sometimes. Dishonest types manipulating situations with bait and switch are unfortunately all too common. You're not alone, but rise above it and move on. Sorry this happened to you.
I was just going to skim this thread and move on, but once I saw your feedback and went and saw what you were talking about and DAMN she's got a lot of red flags on her page. I don't understand why anyone would think someone with that attitude is gonna be a good time.
What was “the rule” ?
Well we get this all the time, where we discuss boundaries and someone always thinks they are the exception to the boundary/rule. It's hard to find exact matches within the lifestyle and then throw in chemistry/attraction makes it even harder. Feels like you always have to give on some requirements.
SexyPowSkiers wrote:
100 messages? Well before that we would have considered it a colossal waste of time and energy.
We don't know exactly what rule was the dealbreaker, but you have a lot of them. Your profile narrative leads with negative energy and exudes it throughout. It's fatiguing to read. Maybe offering yourself as a unicorn requires a lot of specifics upfront to try to avoid the douchy and manipulative. Some lighthearted witty and sensual sections, but a lot is already in your answers above or could be stated clearly in a positive manner versus a rant about asshole douches and the many ways you react. We don't think anyone's surprised you get ticked...easily, but how's that going for you?
Just our opinion, and we all know what those can be worth sometimes. Dishonest types manipulating situations with bait and switch are unfortunately all too common. You're not alone, but rise above it and move on. Sorry this happened to you.
Thus why I have the profile. It weeds out people like you who I wouldn't be a good fit for and wouldnt be a good fit for me. I had a timeout to take care of some health issues. This couple was willing to chat and wait it out. I was super upfront and have no regrets on this point. My directness is either something you value or don't. But this charming response, reflects on you not me 😘 I didn't ask for nor am I interested in your opinion. ✌
@mandieqt...know your frustration! I've done the cyber thing for a while. I think your profile is perfect and does some weeding for you...like the clown above. Let me know if you want to go to a party sometime.. I'd love to partner up!
Bait and switch? LMAO! That probably describes at least 50% of the interactions we encounter in swinging. Some are even more baity and switchy than others! LOL
Not too long ago a couple contacted us about possibly meeting for a drink or a cup of coffee to get to know each other a little better. Red flags? A total of two EXTREMELY blurry pics in their profile. Also, their profile was a brand new "temp" profile and had a total of about 3 lines describing them and what they were looking for. But I digress.
Finally, after a few dozen emails and texts, a date was set. We'd been texting off and on most of the day and they (Well, HE, as she was apparently just too busy for text messaging...wait, dang if that wasn't another red flag. LOL) said they were excited to meet us.
Aprox. 15 minutes before the appointed meeting time we got a text saying that an unforeseen emergency had arisen and his wife would not be able to meet at the appointed time but not to worry, HE was already on his way and would relay details of our meeting to her and that they had such a good feeling about us that (SURPRISE!) he had taken the liberty of booking a hotel room and she would in all likelihood meet us there later.
Hmmmm. Well, on a whim, I decided to text him back and tell him that he wasn't going to believe this but MY wife had a similar emergency and wouldn't be able to meet for drinks either. This "news" seemed to make him quite agitated and he insisted on calling my wife to confirm her inability to meet and her intention to meet us later at the hotel. She didn't answer his phone call.
I counter-proposed that my wife would call HIS wife (And I asked for her phone number which thus far they had declined to give us *RF!* as she "only has a work phone".) to chat about meeting later in the evening at the hotel. Well, as you can imagine, that suggestion REALLY set him off and he immediately accused us of being "phonies" and then, accused me of actually being a single male using fake photos in my profile to lure unsuspecting couples to meet and fuck. We laughed our asses off, wrote him back and told him he was right, that I am indeed a sad, pathetic, single male who has no other romantic options except to troll swinger sites to try to fool couples into meeting and fucking me. Oh, and I use TWO cell phones and pretend to be a "wife" on one of them.
Then I asked him if he was sure he didn't want to just meet me and fool around a little bit. He immediately blocked me...well, I assume he did as we never heard another word from him or his "wife". He DID, however, try to call and then text Mrs. Evil. She blocked him. LOL
Not too long ago a couple contacted us about possibly meeting for a drink or a cup of coffee to get to know each other a little better. Red flags? A total of two EXTREMELY blurry pics in their profile. Also, their profile was a brand new "temp" profile and had a total of about 3 lines describing them and what they were looking for. But I digress.
Finally, after a few dozen emails and texts, a date was set. We'd been texting off and on most of the day and they (Well, HE, as she was apparently just too busy for text messaging...wait, dang if that wasn't another red flag. LOL) said they were excited to meet us.
Aprox. 15 minutes before the appointed meeting time we got a text saying that an unforeseen emergency had arisen and his wife would not be able to meet at the appointed time but not to worry, HE was already on his way and would relay details of our meeting to her and that they had such a good feeling about us that (SURPRISE!) he had taken the liberty of booking a hotel room and she would in all likelihood meet us there later.
Hmmmm. Well, on a whim, I decided to text him back and tell him that he wasn't going to believe this but MY wife had a similar emergency and wouldn't be able to meet for drinks either. This "news" seemed to make him quite agitated and he insisted on calling my wife to confirm her inability to meet and her intention to meet us later at the hotel. She didn't answer his phone call.
I counter-proposed that my wife would call HIS wife (And I asked for her phone number which thus far they had declined to give us *RF!* as she "only has a work phone".) to chat about meeting later in the evening at the hotel. Well, as you can imagine, that suggestion REALLY set him off and he immediately accused us of being "phonies" and then, accused me of actually being a single male using fake photos in my profile to lure unsuspecting couples to meet and fuck. We laughed our asses off, wrote him back and told him he was right, that I am indeed a sad, pathetic, single male who has no other romantic options except to troll swinger sites to try to fool couples into meeting and fucking me. Oh, and I use TWO cell phones and pretend to be a "wife" on one of them.
Then I asked him if he was sure he didn't want to just meet me and fool around a little bit. He immediately blocked me...well, I assume he did as we never heard another word from him or his "wife". He DID, however, try to call and then text Mrs. Evil. She blocked him. LOL
OMG...only in Utah! You cannot make that shit up! 😅😂🥲 Love your stories evil...you have the best ones! 🙌
We're always very up front about any rules and if there are direct conflicts with someone else's we'd want to discuss right away. We're not into wasting our time or yours. Anything else is just rude in our opinion. XOXO
Love it evil.
@evildoers that’s funny, but not surprising. We’re pretty sure a high percentage of couples here are just the male half , or not a couple at all. And for sure a really high percentage are just lame ass guys trying to get their wives to play with other women, when they don’t really want to. We insist that the women do the chatting, and it’s usually easy to figure out if it’s really her ... but it sounds like you ran into a pro poser haha.
Starlights wrote:
If we get to chatting with people we like we generally do a flirty pic with a nice “Hi, ______” written in sharpie on her boob or ass... not that anyone asks for it, but it’s fun and easy to do... and ALWAYS a appreciated.
Exactly. It’s usually pretty easy to make sure it’s a team couple and not just a creep lol ... luckily I think most of them are just trying to perv pictures, and don’t really want to try and show up in person solo.
Starlights wrote:FunKinkyDuo wrote:
@evildoers that’s funny, but not surprising. We’re pretty sure a high percentage of couples here are just the male half , or not a couple at all. And for sure a really high percentage are just lame ass guys trying to get their wives to play with other women, when they don’t really want to. We insist that the women do the chatting, and it’s usually easy to figure out if it’s really her ... but it sounds like you ran into a pro poser haha.
If we get to chatting with people we like we generally do a flirty pic with a nice “Hi, ______” written in sharpie on her boob or ass... not that anyone asks for it, but it’s fun and easy to do... and ALWAYS a appreciated.
That is fun. We've usually picked a number between 2-15 and asked them to show that number with their fingers. Everyone is in frame and you know both of them are on board.
EVILDOERS wrote:
Bait and switch? LMAO! That probably describes at least 50% of the interactions we encounter in swinging. Some are even more baity and switchy than others! LOL
Not too long ago a couple contacted us about possibly meeting for a drink or a cup of coffee to get to know each other a little better. Red flags? A total of two EXTREMELY blurry pics in their profile. Also, their profile was a brand new "temp" profile and had a total of about 3 lines describing them and what they were looking for. But I digress.
Finally, after a few dozen emails and texts, a date was set. We'd been texting off and on most of the day and they (Well, HE, as she was apparently just too busy for text messaging...wait, dang if that wasn't another red flag. LOL) said they were excited to meet us.
Aprox. 15 minutes before the appointed meeting time we got a text saying that an unforeseen emergency had arisen and his wife would not be able to meet at the appointed time but not to worry, HE was already on his way and would relay details of our meeting to her and that they had such a good feeling about us that (SURPRISE!) he had taken the liberty of booking a hotel room and she would in all likelihood meet us there later.
Hmmmm. Well, on a whim, I decided to text him back and tell him that he wasn't going to believe this but MY wife had a similar emergency and wouldn't be able to meet for drinks either. This "news" seemed to make him quite agitated and he insisted on calling my wife to confirm her inability to meet and her intention to meet us later at the hotel. She didn't answer his phone call.
I counter-proposed that my wife would call HIS wife (And I asked for her phone number which thus far they had declined to give us *RF!* as she "only has a work phone".) to chat about meeting later in the evening at the hotel. Well, as you can imagine, that suggestion REALLY set him off and he immediately accused us of being "phonies" and then, accused me of actually being a single male using fake photos in my profile to lure unsuspecting couples to meet and fuck. We laughed our asses off, wrote him back and told him he was right, that I am indeed a sad, pathetic, single male who has no other romantic options except to troll swinger sites to try to fool couples into meeting and fucking me. Oh, and I use TWO cell phones and pretend to be a "wife" on one of them.
Then I asked him if he was sure he didn't want to just meet me and fool around a little bit. He immediately blocked me...well, I assume he did as we never heard another word from him or his "wife". He DID, however, try to call and then text Mrs. Evil. She blocked him. LOL
Popcorn emoji, clapping hands emoji
We have experienced this too. Naïve us in the bedroom the first time, never again in any other circumstance. Assholes come in all shapes and forms
Couples and even Singles should have their own rules, whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable enough to put yourself in a potentially unsafe situation. Sure we all want to feel that people in this lifestyle are all good people, and most who meet are. I have met on a date MANDIEQT, and she is a sharp, intelligent and sexy lady. No, we only had the one meet, no sex, but she is real and very nice when she agrees to meet you. We have all met the flakes or liars, hopefully you weed them out before they waste your time or money.