It seems really hard to find couples who have enough free time to build a potential friendship. We're not slow moving when it comes to playing but we also don't want a random hook-up.
We just want to find people we vibe with who have enough free time to get together here and there, rather than having to schedule a date two weeks in advance.
Anyone else having similar frustrations?
We just want to find people we vibe with who have enough free time to get together here and there, rather than having to schedule a date two weeks in advance.
Anyone else having similar frustrations?
We have met a few cool people here in south east Idaho, But it does seem that many couples are either fake, or are really not interested in getting drinks just to see if there is a connection. We are also not slow movers if there is a connection, but we also do not need just fuck buddies. We are fine with good friends, soft swap, or full swap if everybody connects. We just like meeting good people and hopefully we can have a long term friendship with or without benefits. If you lived closer we would say lets get a drink and share some laughs. If you ever get up this way give us a shout. cheers
We find events (e.g. New Yorker, Unspoken, parties, etc) are sometimes easier to find people that are active and real in the lifestyle. With that said, sometimes for new people those type of activities are a little intimidating or extreme. Patience is the definitely a mantra of the lifestyle. A lot of people on here have lives outside of the lifestyle and want to keep them separate as much as possible. Just continue to actively reach out, it is expected especially when you are new. Once you are able to meet a couple or two it is usually easier to expand that circle. We find friends all the time on here (doesn't mean you have to do anything sexual with them).
Thanks for the advice! What this New Yorker place I keep hearing about? I've googled it and nothing pops up.
The New Yorker is a club in SLC that does LS nights on saturdays. Its a BYOB club and preety fun, we've gone a few times. If you go into the forums there are some posts that talk about it. Ill put thier website down below
https://www.thenewyorker.club/
https://www.thenewyorker.club/
Our free time varies enormously as we have kids. Always on the lookout for last minute fun or other ways around the preplanned sitter!
Free time comes in chunks, people rarely have a great deal of advanced notice of when it will land in their laps.
Indeed it can be difficult to get all the planets into alignment with all the people and situations, but can also be very rewarding. It has been quite a dry spell for us as well, and we do enjoy the company, and being company. We prefer smaller gatherings with a few friends to club settings. That being said, when we lived in Phoenix we did enjoy the lifestyle (on premise even! Scandalous! NEVER going to happen in Utah) clubs there. It made finding couples, singles, and groups a lot easier to find as when folks had time and interest in getting together, we had a place we could all go to meet, and show off.
luckily We are making an effort this summer to get back out there and start getting to know people again. all we can do is try our best with those willing to meet and not flake
We have kids so our time is spent and our baby sittersare limitedw p. We would live to do more parties or get togethers and host but it's not in the cards. We have made friends with other couples and singles but most have all started w a random hookup rather then a dinner or a night out on the town. It would be fun to cast a bigger net, but it's just not in the cards for us at this time.
COUPLE801801 wrote:
We have made friends with other couples and singles but most have all started w a random hookup rather then a dinner or a night out on the town.
And therein lies the truth. Most of the friends we’ve made started with a random hook up. Now experience has shown us that it is best to meet up in a neutral place for drinks, coffee, or a light meal, but usually we then proceed to play as long as everyone is comfortable.
SHAKURA89 wrote:
luckily We are making an effort this summer to get back out there and start getting to know people again. all we can do is try our best with those willing to meet and not flake
Ditto for us!
We make time to have fun on the weekends
We have time most weekends for frolic, fun, friends, and what was that other word…oh yeah, fucking.
We started in the lifestyle having random hookups and some became friends. We have evolved to some trusted friends that we play with on a regular basis but we love to meet new people and attending events is a great way. And yes we have a hectic life too but you have to make time or as our last weekend went we had things planned and then spontaneous happened and we had several hookups 🤷
WY8SWINGERS wrote:
We got 3 teenagers so we like to try and meet in our hot tub after they go to bed. We're looking for a fun couple to come have a couple of drinks tommorow or Saturday night if any couples are interested.
If we were closer, we would come join you. Have a great weekend.
We are in the same boat. Add us though we would be happy to hang out.
We are in Tennessee and having a hard time connecting with people. Not sure if everyone is shy or what. We are flexible and aside from work constraints, we are pretty open. Just frustrated.
That’s to bad . Utah has a very opened minded group of people. Maybe a Local KIK group would draw in some like minded people
We totally feel this! We both identify as sapiosexual and think of our approach to the LS as seeking a couple with whom we can build a "pants-on, pants-off" friendship. We aren't interested in hooking up and rarely engage with folks when we feel like their interests are too heavily focused in the "pants-off" side of this equation. It's great to see other folks here discussing more expansive notions of connection and attraction here!