Hey everyone, looking for some advice on getting started and meeting people on this site. We've been members for a while, checking out activities and profiles and fantasizing about really connecting with other couples for some adult fun.
There are so many options that it can be a little intimidating and now that my wife is ready to give this a try, I've got to come through with a great experience for us or it might be our only attempt. My main goal in this is to create some fun sexy experiences and to convince her of how beautiful and sexy she is. No pressure right? 😬
Is it best to start with an event setting? Or best to find a couple that seems like a match and contact them directly? Or is it easier to connect by commenting in the forums etc?
I think the ideal situation for us would be to meet a couple for drinks, play some games to relax a little, and then see what happens on the sexy side. What are we looking for? A couple who is kind, funny and good looking. A couple with personality and heart. A bisexual wife would be a plus, someone who can help her explore her girl fantasies without pushing too hard and without making it weird.
Looking forward to hearing your advice!
There are so many options that it can be a little intimidating and now that my wife is ready to give this a try, I've got to come through with a great experience for us or it might be our only attempt. My main goal in this is to create some fun sexy experiences and to convince her of how beautiful and sexy she is. No pressure right? 😬
Is it best to start with an event setting? Or best to find a couple that seems like a match and contact them directly? Or is it easier to connect by commenting in the forums etc?
I think the ideal situation for us would be to meet a couple for drinks, play some games to relax a little, and then see what happens on the sexy side. What are we looking for? A couple who is kind, funny and good looking. A couple with personality and heart. A bisexual wife would be a plus, someone who can help her explore her girl fantasies without pushing too hard and without making it weird.
Looking forward to hearing your advice!
We have found meeting couples for a drink or something is a great starter. Maybe before hand chat on Kik or text.
The parties are very fun too, it can be intimidating...but everyone is so nice. Take everything at your own pace and have a great time.
The parties are very fun too, it can be intimidating...but everyone is so nice. Take everything at your own pace and have a great time.
This is really a loaded question. Everyone's own personalities and preferences will be different. Without knowing more about you guys it will be hard to give you any advice. With that said, we recommend you try a little of everything when it comes to the styles of meeting people.
If you are outgoing and willing to introduce yourself to others, parties or events are great but better if you go with someone or meet others there.
Responding to post on the boards gives people a little insight into who you are and some visibility but that is the extent of it.
We personally love meeting couples for dinner/drinks. It gives you an opportunity without any pressure to see if there is any attraction/connection. You can then follow up with other opportunities.
Best advice we can give is just be very clear and honest on expectations with those you are meeting with. It's ok to say no thank you.
If you are outgoing and willing to introduce yourself to others, parties or events are great but better if you go with someone or meet others there.
Responding to post on the boards gives people a little insight into who you are and some visibility but that is the extent of it.
We personally love meeting couples for dinner/drinks. It gives you an opportunity without any pressure to see if there is any attraction/connection. You can then follow up with other opportunities.
Best advice we can give is just be very clear and honest on expectations with those you are meeting with. It's ok to say no thank you.
Sorry but people’s advice here is waaay to complicated. And honestly not really specific for these times.
Make a promise to each other that no matter what happens you will be honest with each other. This is the key! And you will be respectful and honest with whom you meet.
Then find a meet and greet style of party, show up, meet people and ASK QUESTIONS! Swingers love to help newbs. Use the car ride there and home to have honest discussions of the wants and why and then after you meet people positives and whom you might wanna ask out for a date.
If you start right now trying to find blind dates on sites like this you may get so frustrated you will quit before you start. It’s a disaster. Most things are moving to fb because people are tired of this online fake profile/cheater mess.
Make a promise to each other that no matter what happens you will be honest with each other. This is the key! And you will be respectful and honest with whom you meet.
Then find a meet and greet style of party, show up, meet people and ASK QUESTIONS! Swingers love to help newbs. Use the car ride there and home to have honest discussions of the wants and why and then after you meet people positives and whom you might wanna ask out for a date.
If you start right now trying to find blind dates on sites like this you may get so frustrated you will quit before you start. It’s a disaster. Most things are moving to fb because people are tired of this online fake profile/cheater mess.
ThisIsCrazyThisIsCrazy wrote:
Hey everyone, looking for some advice on getting started and meeting people on this site. We've been members for a while, checking out activities and profiles and fantasizing about really connecting with other couples for some adult fun.
There are so many options that it can be a little intimidating and now that my wife is ready to give this a try, I've got to come through with a great experience for us or it might be our only attempt. My main goal in this is to create some fun sexy experiences and to convince her of how beautiful and sexy she is. No pressure right? 😬
Is it best to start with an event setting? Or best to find a couple that seems like a match and contact them directly? Or is it easier to connect by commenting in the forums etc?
I think the ideal situation for us would be to meet a couple for drinks, play some games to relax a little, and then see what happens on the sexy side. What are we looking for? A couple who is kind, funny and good looking. A couple with personality and heart. A couple that can get her turned on and then get her over to me to finish her off either in the same room or later at home. A bisexual wife would be a plus, someone who can help her with her girl fantasies without pushing too hard and without making it weird.
Looking forward to hearing your advice!
You two seem just our speed and we smell
Good too! Coincidence? I think not!
I sent a message via your profile. If it didn’t come through let me know.
Also on K I K @ Kickinitutah
W&J
Also on K I K @ Kickinitutah
W&J
Just a few suggestions and comments, (not everyone may agree, but this is our view):
First, relax... don't build up too many high expectations and end up being disappointed.
Next, don't ever take one for the team. If either one of you isn't ready, don't do it.
Communicate with each other. Don't hold back because you are afraid your partner will be upset.
Keeping secrets or with holding back feelings can create problems quickly.
Trust each other. If you have doubts or feel jealous, don't do it. Get this resolved first.
I like to compare swinging to riding my Harley with other people. Very few bikers I know ever let a stranger take their bike for a ride upon request. Before anyone ever touches one of my bikes, I want to know a lot about them. Last thing I want is a damaged bike. Why would your spouse be anything less? I just don't let anyone take her for a ride. Cyn is not my possession, but she is my whole life. I want to know that the person she might become physical with is not going to harm her or abuse her in any manner. She is a free person who can choose if and who she wants to be with, but I am there to protect her.
That being said, we have found meeting socially with someone we are interested in first can make a big difference. We like to meet somewhere in public where we can talk openly, enjoy something in common and get to know more about the person or couple. Having light dinner and then going to a museum or even mall walking and window shopping lets us talk openly and honestly. We learn a lot about people and their personality by being able to talk and observe. There have been a few times where we have been so comfortable we moved easily and quickly into a relationship. Other times we didn't click at all and only met once. But, we were in a free open place where we were able to walk away effortlessly and without being rude. It has always made our experiences much more enjoyable.
Being intimate with someone new is a big step, you expose all of your flaws and share something very emotional to another person. Make sure you are ready. If you do it right, you can make some very close and long term friendships.
First, relax... don't build up too many high expectations and end up being disappointed.
Next, don't ever take one for the team. If either one of you isn't ready, don't do it.
Communicate with each other. Don't hold back because you are afraid your partner will be upset.
Keeping secrets or with holding back feelings can create problems quickly.
Trust each other. If you have doubts or feel jealous, don't do it. Get this resolved first.
I like to compare swinging to riding my Harley with other people. Very few bikers I know ever let a stranger take their bike for a ride upon request. Before anyone ever touches one of my bikes, I want to know a lot about them. Last thing I want is a damaged bike. Why would your spouse be anything less? I just don't let anyone take her for a ride. Cyn is not my possession, but she is my whole life. I want to know that the person she might become physical with is not going to harm her or abuse her in any manner. She is a free person who can choose if and who she wants to be with, but I am there to protect her.
That being said, we have found meeting socially with someone we are interested in first can make a big difference. We like to meet somewhere in public where we can talk openly, enjoy something in common and get to know more about the person or couple. Having light dinner and then going to a museum or even mall walking and window shopping lets us talk openly and honestly. We learn a lot about people and their personality by being able to talk and observe. There have been a few times where we have been so comfortable we moved easily and quickly into a relationship. Other times we didn't click at all and only met once. But, we were in a free open place where we were able to walk away effortlessly and without being rude. It has always made our experiences much more enjoyable.
Being intimate with someone new is a big step, you expose all of your flaws and share something very emotional to another person. Make sure you are ready. If you do it right, you can make some very close and long term friendships.
HYM4CYN wrote:
Just a few suggestions and comments, (not everyone may agree, but this is our view):
First, relax... don't build up too many high expectations and end up being disappointed.
Next, don't ever take one for the team. If either one of you isn't ready, don't do it.
Communicate with each other. Don't hold back because you are afraid your partner will be upset.
Keeping secrets or with holding back feelings can create problems quickly.
Trust each other. If you have doubts or feel jealous, don't do it. Get this resolved first.
I like to compare swinging to riding my Harley with other people. Very few bikers I know ever let a stranger take their bike for a ride upon request. Before anyone ever touches one of my bikes, I want to know a lot about them. Last thing I want is a damaged bike. Why would your spouse be anything less? I just don't let anyone take her for a ride. Cyn is not my possession, but she is my whole life. I want to know that the person she might become physical with is not going to harm her or abuse her in any manner. She is a free person who can choose if and who she wants to be with, but I am there to protect her.
That being said, we have found meeting socially with someone we are interested in first can make a big difference. We like to meet somewhere in public where we can talk openly, enjoy something in common and get to know more about the person or couple. Having light dinner and then going to a museum or even mall walking and window shopping lets us talk openly and honestly. We learn a lot about people and their personality by being able to talk and observe. There have been a few times where we have been so comfortable we moved easily and quickly into a relationship. Other times we didn't click at all and only met once. But, we were in a free open place where we were able to walk away effortlessly and without being rude. It has always made our experiences much more enjoyable.
Being intimate with someone new is a big step, you expose all of your flaws and share something very emotional to another person. Make sure you are ready. If you do it right, you can make some very close and long term friendships.
Great advice... Thanks so much for taking the time to respond and share your experience! There is definitely a lot to think about when you're thinking about "someone else riding your Harley!" (Great analogy BTW) 😉