Hi All,
We are a happily married couple that have recently decided to open up our marriage (together not separate). We have amazing communication, trust each other completely and are 100% honest with each other. We have been together for 10+ years. We both want to take it slowly and make sure this is the correct decision for us. As a couple we have talked about how much we love each other and want each of us to explore and experience our fantasies . We are extremely close to each other but both feel this might bring us even closer. Our question is, what are the pros and cons to choosing this lifestyle and are there pitfalls we should be keep an eye out for? Please feel free to give examples, experiences or any advice you have! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply!
Have an amazing day,
Skittles
We are a happily married couple that have recently decided to open up our marriage (together not separate). We have amazing communication, trust each other completely and are 100% honest with each other. We have been together for 10+ years. We both want to take it slowly and make sure this is the correct decision for us. As a couple we have talked about how much we love each other and want each of us to explore and experience our fantasies . We are extremely close to each other but both feel this might bring us even closer. Our question is, what are the pros and cons to choosing this lifestyle and are there pitfalls we should be keep an eye out for? Please feel free to give examples, experiences or any advice you have! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply!
Have an amazing day,
Skittles
We are also new, but have had a few experiences with other couples. It’s important to maintain clear communication with each other -discuss your feelings and be open to the fact that you or your spouse may be very interested in the other couple or person (don’t let envy cloud your happiness).
Also, vet couples! You need to be discriminating.
Also, vet couples! You need to be discriminating.
As a single man I have had encounters with couples,
FWB type of relationship no strings attached just friends getting together and having fun sexually.
Feel free to let me know if your interested in exploring that?
FWB type of relationship no strings attached just friends getting together and having fun sexually.
Feel free to let me know if your interested in exploring that?
And if you did not no he really loves to eat pussy, pussy pussy pussy and did he say pussssssssssssy!
They are here to ask questions, not have people advertise in their thread.
Major pitfalls are jealousy and learning how to sort through all the b.s. to find fun honest people.
Advice - be honest, the truth is always the hottest part.
Go out and meet people, this always opens doors. Never flake, just show up regardless. And newbs always want to fuck pictures, the hottest, funnest people here don’t pose for pictures, they would rather just meet in person. Both of you should be chatting, if your woman isn’t involved it’s a red flag for the serious folks that actually get out and meet and play.
Major pitfalls are jealousy and learning how to sort through all the b.s. to find fun honest people.
Advice - be honest, the truth is always the hottest part.
Go out and meet people, this always opens doors. Never flake, just show up regardless. And newbs always want to fuck pictures, the hottest, funnest people here don’t pose for pictures, they would rather just meet in person. Both of you should be chatting, if your woman isn’t involved it’s a red flag for the serious folks that actually get out and meet and play.
Welcome newbies. Like you, we were together more than a decade before we got into the lifestyle. We actually talked, fantasized and researched it for almost 2 years before taking the leap. One site we used that had great info is Swingers Board. We've loved it ever since. The main thing you need to do is be on the same page about what you want, what your rules and boundaries are and have fun. Go to parties. Browse profiles and contact those who interest you. Set no expectations for dates, we've found it usually doesn't go how you think it will (good and bad). Avoid anyone you get a sense of drama from. One thing we did from the beginning and do still to this day. After every party, club visit or date, we'd talk about it. What we liked, didn't like, etc. Did we mention have FUN!!!!!! Also, don't take rejection personally. It happens to pretty much everyone. Oh yeah, HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Being ethically non-monogamous requires a more significant commitment to communicating. It's super easy to fall into a trap of expecting your partner to think about things the same way you do, especially if you're longterm partners, and that can breed some drama quickly. I personally found it required more direct and in depth communication than my partner of 20 years and I had previously done and required more vulnerability than I'm usually down for. Jealousy, insecurity etc are super common. So don't get down when you feel that. Work through it together.
A big one for me too is if you're in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, angry, jealous whatever dont make your drama public. Make an excuse and leave. Dont make it everyone else's problem. The number of parties I go to where one half gets jealous and suddenly they're fighting is insane. Nothing makes you less appealing faster than not keeping your shit together in public.
Also, limit your drinking. You can't actually legally consent in Utah if you're sloshed. The last few meetups I've had with couples hasn't ended in fun because someone has overindulged. I get that this can be intimidating and a little alcohol can go a long way in lowering inhibitions and anxiety but keep it to a little.
On the pros side of things, I've found that its increased my intimacy with both my partners and that we communicate more effectively and more in depth than before. I love getting to play with new people and exploring my sexuality. This isn't for everyone but it is a ton of fun for those who put in the work. Welcome to funzone!! Good luck and enjoy!
A big one for me too is if you're in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, angry, jealous whatever dont make your drama public. Make an excuse and leave. Dont make it everyone else's problem. The number of parties I go to where one half gets jealous and suddenly they're fighting is insane. Nothing makes you less appealing faster than not keeping your shit together in public.
Also, limit your drinking. You can't actually legally consent in Utah if you're sloshed. The last few meetups I've had with couples hasn't ended in fun because someone has overindulged. I get that this can be intimidating and a little alcohol can go a long way in lowering inhibitions and anxiety but keep it to a little.
On the pros side of things, I've found that its increased my intimacy with both my partners and that we communicate more effectively and more in depth than before. I love getting to play with new people and exploring my sexuality. This isn't for everyone but it is a ton of fun for those who put in the work. Welcome to funzone!! Good luck and enjoy!
Here are some great podcasts that we listen to. Each of them will offer great insight and deliver valuable advice for newbies and experienced lifestyle couples. Good luck to you!
Hi, welcome to the site also
Thank you all so much for the great advice! If anyone has anything to add please feel free to post it or message us with it! Love the drama advice, we find drama a major turnoff and do not want anything to do with it! Thanks again and have a great day!
MANDIEQT wrote:
Being ethically non-monogamous requires a more significant commitment to communicating. It's super easy to fall into a trap of expecting your partner to think about things the same way you do, especially if you're longterm partners, and that can breed some drama quickly. I personally found it required more direct and in depth communication than my partner of 20 years and I had previously done and required more vulnerability than I'm usually down for. Jealousy, insecurity etc are super common. So don't get down when you feel that. Work through it together.
A big one for me too is if you're in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, angry, jealous whatever dont make your drama public. Make an excuse and leave. Dont make it everyone else's problem. The number of parties I go to where one half gets jealous and suddenly they're fighting is insane. Nothing makes you less appealing faster than not keeping your shit together in public.
Also, limit your drinking. You can't actually legally consent in Utah if you're sloshed. The last few meetups I've had with couples hasn't ended in fun because someone has overindulged. I get that this can be intimidating and a little alcohol can go a long way in lowering inhibitions and anxiety but keep it to a little.
On the pros side of things, I've found that its increased my intimacy with both my partners and that we communicate more effectively and more in depth than before. I love getting to play with new people and exploring my sexuality. This isn't for everyone but it is a ton of fun for those who put in the work. Welcome to funzone!! Good luck and enjoy!
What SHE said 👆!! Couldn’t have said it better ourselves!
Always reconnect with each other after an experience with others to let your partner know they are still number one.
We are poly for 8 years now and have had a wide range of experiences. feel free to chat any time
Gkidder wrote:
As a single man I have had encounters with couples,
FWB type of relationship no strings attached just friends getting together and having fun sexually.
Feel free to let me know if your interested in exploring that?
where you sideways because of your crops?