We were with a couple last weekend (full swap separate bedroom) and my wife told this guy three times to stop, he was touching her with his hands really rough, and he would not stop. She ultimately had to pull away from him. I feel terrible I put her in that position. She didn’t tell me until after they left. I sent them a message it was not okay what happened. I am furious. What do I do????
I mean I know what I would do but it might not be the popular answer. Hope she’s ok and that it doesn’t deter her from the LS.
If someone acts like a predator, that isn't cool in the LS. It's a tough choice to call them out on here but it may save another couple from the same experience.
That’s how I feel. And now she does not want to do anything and is blaming herself.
So I had an experience similar "ish" I (Mr) was asked to join a couple for full swap same room mfm. However their last experience was alot like your wife's. The wife in the couple had a guy who was aggressive, rough and like being told no. So needless to say she was hesitant but still wanted to experience the LS. So I was patient with her and waited for her direction and requests. This changed her mind and realized that the LS can be very fun with the right people. So first I would make sure your wife feels safe and find out if she is still interested in the LS. If yes, then I would make it clear to that couple that their actions were inappropriate and then end any possibility of future play with that couple.
Certainly NOT her fault. She needed to say No once; that's it. Even, "I'm not comfortable with this" is enough to stop. It is shameful for us guys when an idiot acts like that. 
Thank you guys for your support. Trying work through this. I don’t want anyone to have to experience this.
No means no. The expectation that this rule will be honored, is a big reason a lot of women decide to try the swinging lifestyle adventure. Anyone who tries to circumvent a woman’s, well, anyone’s consent is dangerous.
You might have to ease back into it, no separate play for a while. Letting her know that you are there to protect her, not that it was your fault that you weren't there this time. And maybe later in the future after she feels safe again, you can try separate rooms again. Just don't push her and let her take it at her pace. It could take months for her to want to try swapping again, or maybe never. Maybe start with get-to-know-you house parties.
But neither of you should feel guilty because some fucktard can't respect boundaries.
But neither of you should feel guilty because some fucktard can't respect boundaries.
not much one can do at this point other than what u are doing by posting it here in the forum, there is one option you could post there name here so others don't have a problem but that can be a touchy posting it here...i agree with the post above me with not do separate rooms till u know someone well enough, there are an abundant amount of assholes in the lifestyle and they need to be fuck up doing that so disrespectful. i pity the guy that does that to my woman or anyone i know if i am in a party were that happens.
Has this guy contacted you to even express his side and to try show genuine apologies? I would guess if he is on this site, he has read this and freaking out. If he has not shown the decency to reach out, you should NOT feel bad to report and more importantly. SO IMPORTANT, to warm others. This LS is supposed to promote good vibes, happiness, and loyalty/trust. Contact him. Get his words. Then you and only you and YOUR beautiful wife can decide how to proceed. Best wishes to give her comfort.
First of all, No means No! In no situation does a man or women have the right to force themselves on someone just because their partner is playing and they feel entitled. It is 100% assault. This is just one example of why we always play in the same room. I think you have an obligation to post his name here. I would never want someone to be put in that situation if I could’ve stop it.
No he has Not written back to explain his side of the story or even apologize. Pretty fucked up. I’m trying to not blame myself but I feel very badly I put my girl in that position. I’m torn on whether to post their profile name. I do not want this happening to other couples though.
Anyone, including yourself, may say no at any time, for any reason, without further explanation. If you're in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, just say so no but be polite, do not ruin your night. Never jeopardize your relationship, or the fun to be had with the life-style and never even consider doing anything against your will. Do not submit to guilt or pressure. Swinging is meant to be fun. Keep it that way. Flirting is also fun, and if that's all you want to do, that's fine. Most importantly, be honest, and be upfront about what you're into, your likes and dislikes. This should avoid any and all misunderstandings.
By Upliftyourlife
By Upliftyourlife
Very similar, sadly, to our first experience in the lifestyle many years ago. Our very first, well...ANYTHING, we were at a small house party and in one of the bedrooms talking to a guy who seemed fine (little did we know). We talked for a bit and then he asked me to go find his girlfriend so we could all get to know each other and maybe play a bit (we'd told him we were total noobies and unsure what we were comfortable with). I left (BIG mistake) and went looking all over for her and FINALLY found her sitting outside reading a book. I relayed his message and she just laughed and said that she wasn't his GF and that she only came because he paid her to come so he could get into this
'couples only' party. By the time I got back to the bedroom, he was all over Ms. Evil. She had told him to stop but, apparently, not too forcefully because he really took her by surprise and she thought I would be right back, and then she just sort of "froze".
Needless to say, this REALLY turned her (and ME!) off and we didn't try to do anything else in the lifestyle for quite some time. Finally, after talking about it for a long time we agreed to certain rules and limits and that she absolutely had the right (and even the obligation!) to not only say no but to use whatever force necessary if a guy doesn't take no for an answer. We also resolved NOT to do ANY kind of separate play unless we knew the other people involved VERY well.
We DID 'out' the guy to the host of the party and he kicked him out and, as far as we know, he was pretty much blacklisted from the lifestyle in the area we lived in at the time.
'couples only' party. By the time I got back to the bedroom, he was all over Ms. Evil. She had told him to stop but, apparently, not too forcefully because he really took her by surprise and she thought I would be right back, and then she just sort of "froze".
Needless to say, this REALLY turned her (and ME!) off and we didn't try to do anything else in the lifestyle for quite some time. Finally, after talking about it for a long time we agreed to certain rules and limits and that she absolutely had the right (and even the obligation!) to not only say no but to use whatever force necessary if a guy doesn't take no for an answer. We also resolved NOT to do ANY kind of separate play unless we knew the other people involved VERY well.
We DID 'out' the guy to the host of the party and he kicked him out and, as far as we know, he was pretty much blacklisted from the lifestyle in the area we lived in at the time.
Thank you for the support everyone. I sent an email to the admin of the site to warn them of this person. Very disappointing. The community has always been great thus far.
So sorry to hear of that experience. Hoping for quick healing for you both! ☺️
I say invite him somewhere to 'talk' about it.. We'll help you 'talk' to him.
And by 'talk', I mean.. well, I'm sure you know what I mean.
And by 'talk', I mean.. well, I'm sure you know what I mean.
OlympusCVCouple wrote:
Thank you for the support everyone. I sent an email to the admin of the site to warn them of this person. Very disappointing. The community has always been great thus far.
Anyone that has looked at your profile has went “wow! She is so hot!” “Or OMG what a goddess !”
Seriously fuck the admins (I mean I hope you do something too) but you need to post the info for the next person, and call the police....
Sorry that your wife has had to experience such a horrible thing. This is exactly why the Mrs hasn't acted on the hot wife fantasy. The Mr has to be there for the 1st meeting no matter what.
I think you did what you could. Scary thing!
if they are on this site please report it to the admins and let them decide if they should stay on this site or not... this way your not outing them but the admins will keep them away from the rest of the ladies!
You have the right to protect other woman from this guy!
You and your lady aren't alone, we don't like this things when happen!
It is important to kick guys like him out the LS!
As a single men and been in the LS for a long time, I am asking you to please tell us who did it, so other girls can be safe from him!
You and your lady aren't alone, we don't like this things when happen!
It is important to kick guys like him out the LS!
As a single men and been in the LS for a long time, I am asking you to please tell us who did it, so other girls can be safe from him!
It took a lot of courage to post this message and now I think we as members have a right to know who this person/couple is. If we can’t count on each other to protect this website then it jeopardize the safety of all of us and the website.
Please think about what everyone has asked and let us know who it is so that we can protect our spouse.
Please think about what everyone has asked and let us know who it is so that we can protect our spouse.
Similar experience here. We ALWAYS play same room.... strength in numbers. We never leave each other alone. We do have some close friends who I would trust, but with others especially single guys we are very strict about same room. In those situations I take on the roll of protector and would take whatever action to stop some idiot who wouldn’t abide by no means no. Try not to blame yourself. Learn from this experience, put the safeguards in place. then proceed forward, at and only at her speed.
Thank for the support. I’m going to wait for the Admin to respond to my cancellation request before deciding on posting who it is.
OlympusCVCouple wrote:
We were with a couple last weekend (full swap separate bedroom) and my wife told this guy three times to stop, he was touching her with his hands really rough, and he would not stop. She ultimately had to pull away from him. I feel terrible I put her in that position. She didn’t tell me until after they left. I sent them a message it was not okay what happened. I am furious. What do I do????
OlympusCVCouple consent and no means no is the cardinal rule of swinging and should never be violated.
If rough hands are the only offenses then you should consider your wife lucky. I asked my wife about this behavior and if she ever had a similar experience. She told me the one time a guy got to rough she abruptly left. He had enormous cock and was ramming her painfully even after being told to stop. Another friend from this site told me his wife was assaulted by someone at a party. None of this type of behavior should be tolerated ever.
I hope you and your wife are able to talk this through and do what’s right for you as a couple. Bad behavior is always a possibility fortunately it’s rare.
Rape is rape is rape.
If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it may just be a duck. Tired of men (AND women) who don't listen to "no".
I'll tell you what I was told after a similar situation, "He knew what he was doing." Just because you guys wanted to swing doesn't mean your wife deserved to be raped. There are lots of awesome people in this community who have better consent considerations than many mormon marriages.
The culture of Utah is not conducive to reporting, but it SHOULD be reported to AUTHORITIES because that is RAPE. Doing something sexual to a person when they tell you no puts you on the sex offender registry where you belong.
One time, after a clear no, could be an innocent mistake. Several times is creepy and wrong.
With that in mind. Ladies shouldn't get so offended at sexual attention when that's exactly what we want. I love getting dressed up and being told I'm hot and getting FUCKED because I'm so wanted. I love going to parties and feeling pretty-- but safety is the most important part in all of this.
It makes me sad that nice guys like my partner are the types of guys that deserve a 3-sum, but never break the boundaires that are necessary to get there so often.
I love the nice guys who have no idea how sexy they are.
i.e. The types saying they'd dig a grave. TBH why are you giving the guy who raped your wife the opportunity to "explain" himself? What's he going to say, "She told me no, but she was just too hot I had to touch her?" WTF. What is he going to say that will explain his actions when it is a CLEAR well-known established legal boundary.
In the immortal words of Meghan Trainer, "NO"
I think it's so cute and I think it's so sweet
How you let your friends encourage you to try and talk to me
But let me stop you there, oh, before you speak
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
First you gonna say you ain't runnin' game, thinkin' I'm believing every word
Call me beautiful, so original, telling me I'm not like other girls
I was in my zone before you came along, now I'm thinking maybe you should go
Blah, blah, blah, blah
I be like nah to the I, to the no, no, no
All my ladies listen up
If that boy ain't giving up
Lick your lips and swing your hips
Girl all you gotta say is
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
Thank you in advance, I don't wanna dance (nope)
I don't need your hands all over me
If I want a man, then I'mma get a man
But it's never my priority
I was in my zone, before you came along, don't want you to take this personal
Blah, blah, blah, I be like nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
All my ladies listen up (all my ladies)
If that boy ain't giving up (ain't giving up)
Lick your lips and swing your hips
Girl all you gotta say is
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
(Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no)
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
(Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no)
All my ladies listen up (say, all my ladies)
If that boy ain't giving up (ain't giving up)
Lick your lips and swing your hips
Girl all you gotta say is
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
(Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no)
If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it may just be a duck. Tired of men (AND women) who don't listen to "no".
I'll tell you what I was told after a similar situation, "He knew what he was doing." Just because you guys wanted to swing doesn't mean your wife deserved to be raped. There are lots of awesome people in this community who have better consent considerations than many mormon marriages.
The culture of Utah is not conducive to reporting, but it SHOULD be reported to AUTHORITIES because that is RAPE. Doing something sexual to a person when they tell you no puts you on the sex offender registry where you belong.
One time, after a clear no, could be an innocent mistake. Several times is creepy and wrong.
With that in mind. Ladies shouldn't get so offended at sexual attention when that's exactly what we want. I love getting dressed up and being told I'm hot and getting FUCKED because I'm so wanted. I love going to parties and feeling pretty-- but safety is the most important part in all of this.
It makes me sad that nice guys like my partner are the types of guys that deserve a 3-sum, but never break the boundaires that are necessary to get there so often.
I love the nice guys who have no idea how sexy they are.
i.e. The types saying they'd dig a grave. TBH why are you giving the guy who raped your wife the opportunity to "explain" himself? What's he going to say, "She told me no, but she was just too hot I had to touch her?" WTF. What is he going to say that will explain his actions when it is a CLEAR well-known established legal boundary.
In the immortal words of Meghan Trainer, "NO"
I think it's so cute and I think it's so sweet
How you let your friends encourage you to try and talk to me
But let me stop you there, oh, before you speak
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
First you gonna say you ain't runnin' game, thinkin' I'm believing every word
Call me beautiful, so original, telling me I'm not like other girls
I was in my zone before you came along, now I'm thinking maybe you should go
Blah, blah, blah, blah
I be like nah to the I, to the no, no, no
All my ladies listen up
If that boy ain't giving up
Lick your lips and swing your hips
Girl all you gotta say is
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
Thank you in advance, I don't wanna dance (nope)
I don't need your hands all over me
If I want a man, then I'mma get a man
But it's never my priority
I was in my zone, before you came along, don't want you to take this personal
Blah, blah, blah, I be like nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
All my ladies listen up (all my ladies)
If that boy ain't giving up (ain't giving up)
Lick your lips and swing your hips
Girl all you gotta say is
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
(Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no)
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
(Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no)
All my ladies listen up (say, all my ladies)
If that boy ain't giving up (ain't giving up)
Lick your lips and swing your hips
Girl all you gotta say is
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
I'm feeling
Untouchable, untouchable
(Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no)
If they are on this site, I would like to know who they are. Someone like that needs to be blacklisted for the safety of others. I know if it was us, we would put his name out
So sorry that happened to you! We are in agreement with the sentiments already expressed. No means no - always! You have to do what is right for your couplehood - but for the sake of the LS and this site - we hope you will post their profile name. It's fine for him to give his side of the story, to apologize, or whatever . . . . but people should be made aware of the potential predatory behavior - especially since this type of behavior tends to escalate and could be that much worse for the next person. I think most of us are horrified that your gal went through this. Sending cuddles and hugs - hoping for a quick mental recovery!
I heard back from this guy late last night. He has read this forum discussion and Apologized for what happened and in so many words said he didn’t recall the night in the same way but at the same time didn’t deny she said stop to him. I have not heard back from the admin so I feel it is my responsibility to warn others of our experience.
Their profile is “Happy4fun”
I only do this because I do not want another woman experiencing this or worse. Thank you all for your support. This has been difficult and all I can do is support my woman to heal. Your support has helped her too as I have read them to her.
Their profile is “Happy4fun”
I only do this because I do not want another woman experiencing this or worse. Thank you all for your support. This has been difficult and all I can do is support my woman to heal. Your support has helped her too as I have read them to her.
Are you saying you don’t remember her saying “stop”?! Because you skate around that. Regardless of how you call them “allegations”, she asked you to stop and you didn’t. It doesn’t matter that after the fact we all spent time together Or you did with her while you guys waited for your wife and I to finish, you still crossed a barrier and respect line. Nobody, including your wife, needs to experience that.
It is sad that in a community that promotes acceptance this forum so quickly gained a lynch mob mentality. It seems that judgment in our words come too easy when we sit behind a computer and that somehow threats and accusations are more acceptable when in the defense of another. Neither should be accepted. Two wrongs don't make a right and only promotes a retaliatory mentality. Constructive support should be promoted and the most effective tool in reaching the ultimate goal of resolution.
In no way should negative behavior ever be condoned or accepted. Equally, direct or masked threats from any community should also not be tolerated.
There are 4 people that were present and know what happened and any other opinions on the matter without hearing both sides are inappropriate no matter how much you try and justify with good intent. 2020 should be teaching us that lesson with all of the intolerance and unnecessary destruction to our communities and even more so our humanity.
Again, negative behavior should NEVER be tolerated or accepted but such a general accusation without clear details seems to only be self serving and intended to fuel a fire in the forum. Agenda can be misleading. Now, given a response contradicting the first accusation there seems to be 2 sides to the story.
I hope that my reasonable response does not illicit additional negativity either to me or others but redirects the focus on what this forum can be in it's best form. Constructive and positive support of it's community.
In no way should negative behavior ever be condoned or accepted. Equally, direct or masked threats from any community should also not be tolerated.
There are 4 people that were present and know what happened and any other opinions on the matter without hearing both sides are inappropriate no matter how much you try and justify with good intent. 2020 should be teaching us that lesson with all of the intolerance and unnecessary destruction to our communities and even more so our humanity.
Again, negative behavior should NEVER be tolerated or accepted but such a general accusation without clear details seems to only be self serving and intended to fuel a fire in the forum. Agenda can be misleading. Now, given a response contradicting the first accusation there seems to be 2 sides to the story.
I hope that my reasonable response does not illicit additional negativity either to me or others but redirects the focus on what this forum can be in it's best form. Constructive and positive support of it's community.
Since RicoGl1 (single male) seems to take the side of the person who crossed the lines. I’ll share some details from my text with this person and reminding him of what happened. I “outed” this user at the urging of others and my hopes it would not be repeated. This isn’t a good situation for anyone.
If they're on Swingular you should report them to the Admins.
For shit like this - tell us all who they are. I mean... that might feel super over the top, but we kind of all have to work together to keep this community safe.
My wife is petite. I would like to know who they are so that I don’t have the same thing happen.
My wife is petite. I would like to know who they are so that I don’t have the same thing happen.
I agree
Please tell us who it is. They should not be involved in the community, at very least. And report them to swingular. I also would personally tell the police. You have more than enough evidence, and they can keep it confidential on the victim’s end.
I put out there user name on a previous post because Admin never responded to my requests It was “Happy4fun”. He has now taken their profile down.
Thank you for having the nerve to reveal his profile. We have had experiences with an individual in the past and do not shy from letting others know his name. Since it’s been three years we only include it in emails. But if it was r is recient we would have no issue tossing it in the forums.
For far too long a select few feel they can get away with most anything for fear others will be too afraid to reveal who the offender is fearing being outed. Not so much anymore.
Simples
For far too long a select few feel they can get away with most anything for fear others will be too afraid to reveal who the offender is fearing being outed. Not so much anymore.
Simples
I didn’t read through all of the comments because they just make me more mad.
Here are my two cents.
1. If he’s done it once, he has likely don’t it before and will do it again. To the extent that you can, shut him down.
2. He is also likely abusive to his wife. Just because you are married, that doesn’t give you to right to anything. If she says no. It means no. Every. Fucking. Time.
Here are my two cents.
1. If he’s done it once, he has likely don’t it before and will do it again. To the extent that you can, shut him down.
2. He is also likely abusive to his wife. Just because you are married, that doesn’t give you to right to anything. If she says no. It means no. Every. Fucking. Time.
I did not take any side with regards to what happened between the couples that night. And the fact that you refer to my profile name (single male) shouldn't change the tone of my message even if you want it to fit your agenda. If that is what you took from my message please read it again.
You expose that person on the LS and let the community know so we all can shun them. That isn’t cool. Fuck that asshole. That is bullshit. Your too nice. This is the side of LS that sometimes can bother me and dissuades me from FS different room.
Our profile is now getting messages in regards to this unfortunate situation. Just to clarify we are not the couple in question although it appears our profile names are quite similar. It’s really a shame that anyone would treat another person in this way. It is the antithesis to what the LS is all about.
2happy4fun wrote:
Our profile is now getting messages in regards to this unfortunate situation. Just to clarify we are not the couple in question although it appears our profile names are quite similar. It’s really a shame that anyone would treat another person in this way. It is the antithesis to what the LS is all about.
This was my point exactly. A lynch mob mentality is not constructive and the one sided accusations(I am not questioning the legitimacy of any accusation)in any forum including that of this thread has only fueled the fire and now has overzealous members messaging the wrong couple with incorrect information. Please take my initial comment in the tone that it was intended and keep positivity in our actions within the community.
What if this is a false accusation. Or a misunderstood situation. What if she was to scared to speak her mind because of her past, or her insecurities. What if he was nothing but a kind, thoughtful man to her. What if she whispered to stop and he couldn't hear her over the load techno music. What if she would have given any other clue she was uncomfortable. What if she never said stop and she just needs attention from her man. What if he really is the most thoughtful, kind man. What if this forum has brought so much hate towards this man and his family they are scared and can't sleep at night. What if they are worried for their safety. What if his wife can't stop crying because she feels so betrayed by this community and the other couple. What if people realized there are two sides to every story. What if people weren't so hateful.
I get it, in these situations people want to take a side. Either way it’s not a good situation. You wouldn’t want your wife in this situation though would you when it comes down to it?? I feel people needed to be warned. My wife is not a weak person or have past issues She was the one who originally wanted to try the Lifestyle. We had several encounters before this. We had no problems. This is the problem that women have when these things occur, men say they didn’t know, or didn’t hear stop or it’s a false accusation. It’s interesting that this previous post by “Notrst” is a brand new trial member with no pics Hmmm a wolf in sheep’s clothing??
Either way, do with the information what you like. Be careful, be cautious, be kind and enjoy yourselves. I hope you don’t ever find yourself in this situation.
Either way, do with the information what you like. Be careful, be cautious, be kind and enjoy yourselves. I hope you don’t ever find yourself in this situation.
Really? You come on here hiding your head in a horses mask as a brand new account and make a fucking asshole post like that?
Get the fuck off LS! WTF are you? Fucking coward
You sure sound like you are defending the actions of the man.
In any situation if any man and especially woman feels uncomfortable and indicates so verbally that’s it games over play times over! How fucking hard is that to understand. Do you understand what the fuck consent is? Jesus fucking Christ what is the 1920’s?
Get the fuck off LS! WTF are you? Fucking coward
You sure sound like you are defending the actions of the man.
In any situation if any man and especially woman feels uncomfortable and indicates so verbally that’s it games over play times over! How fucking hard is that to understand. Do you understand what the fuck consent is? Jesus fucking Christ what is the 1920’s?
RICOGI1 wrote:
This was my point exactly. A lynch mob mentality is not constructive and the one sided accusations(I am not questioning the legitimacy of any accusation)in any forum including that of this thread has only fueled the fire and now has overzealous members messaging the wrong couple with incorrect information. Please take my initial comment in the tone that it was intended and keep positivity in our actions within the community.
First, a posting like this is everyone’s worst fear realized. People are going to over react, they are going to take her word over his, and we all react this way because we don’t want to listen to both sides of the next story, we don’t want it to happen at all. Us all saying it’s not acceptable is our way of trying to stop the next time.
Second, you post about community. What separates swingers from people just “playing around”, is the trust between two people in a committed relationship trusting each other enough to play with others. Being a single male you don’t have someone to answer to, nor protect. Being single you are not a swinger, you just join those who are.
Your postings show you feel equal to her, which you are not! This is why most shun SM in the community. Yes we do play with SM, those that know they are an addition to our already fun sex life, and approach it as such.
Notrst wrote:
What if this is a false accusation. Or a misunderstood situation. What if she was to scared to speak her mind because of her past, or her insecurities. What if he was nothing but a kind, thoughtful man to her. What if she whispered to stop and he couldn't hear her over the load techno music. What if she would have given any other clue she was uncomfortable. What if she never said stop and she just needs attention from her man. What if he really is the most thoughtful, kind man. What if this forum has brought so much hate towards this man and his family they are scared and can't sleep at night. What if they are worried for their safety. What if his wife can't stop crying because she feels so betrayed by this community and the other couple. What if people realized there are two sides to every story. What if people weren't so hateful.
Personally, we make it a point to NEVER have "load techno" music playing for just this reason. People are always whispering things to us just as the beat drops and we come off sounding like deaf old geezers when we yell, "HUH?".
SM are not LS participants. They are LS wannabe’s on the outside looking in and usually will try to disrupt the trust relationship.
We avoid SM strictly for the fact that they somehow get an emotional attachment. They are usually younger an immature and lack the knowledge and wisdom of living the LS partnership with an equal.
SM should stick to tinder. We know where to find you guys. Your comments speak to all the above btw.
You also state your comments like you are within our community. What does a SM have to offer in the LS community? SM are commodities that can be found as easily as a single picture my wife and I post up and weed out the 500 messages we get in an hour time frames.
I’m going back to PlushLife..at least there they ferret out the pretenders.
We avoid SM strictly for the fact that they somehow get an emotional attachment. They are usually younger an immature and lack the knowledge and wisdom of living the LS partnership with an equal.
SM should stick to tinder. We know where to find you guys. Your comments speak to all the above btw.
You also state your comments like you are within our community. What does a SM have to offer in the LS community? SM are commodities that can be found as easily as a single picture my wife and I post up and weed out the 500 messages we get in an hour time frames.
I’m going back to PlushLife..at least there they ferret out the pretenders.
Completely not a cool thing to do, when either person in the couple says no, it should end right there, say your goodbyes and move on, if he kept going and that's definitely grounds for calling him/them out, on the other side of that you really have to ask yourself if playing in seperate rooms is the right thing to do, we never play seperate and this is why, the safety factor is taken away when you do that, not only that but some people like a little rough play in their relationship so they automatically think that's how everyone is or likes it, the fact is we are all a little different with our likes and dislikes, I cannot say say that's how this person is/was but I agree that he needs to be called out, hope it all works out and your spouse understands that this was in mo way her fault, one last thing before I get off my soap box, folks this is supposed to be fun, how is ruining someone fun to anyone, be nice to eachother.
Completely not a cool thing to do, when either person in the couple says no, it should end right there, say your goodbyes and move on, if he kept going and that's definitely grounds for calling him/them out, on the other side of that you really have to ask yourself if playing in seperate rooms is the right thing to do, we never play seperate and this is why, the safety factor is taken away when you do that, not only that but some people like a little rough play in their relationship so they automatically think that's how everyone is or likes it, the fact is we are all a little different with our likes and dislikes, I cannot say say that's how this person is/was but I agree that he needs to be called out, hope it all works out and your spouse understands that this was in mo way her fault, one last thing before I get off my soap box, folks this is supposed to be fun, how is ruining someone fun to anyone, be nice to eachother.
Notrst wrote:
What if this is a false accusation. Or a misunderstood situation. What if she was to scared to speak her mind because of her past, or her insecurities. What if he was nothing but a kind, thoughtful man to her. What if she whispered to stop and he couldn't hear her over the load techno music. What if she would have given any other clue she was uncomfortable. What if she never said stop and she just needs attention from her man. What if he really is the most thoughtful, kind man. What if this forum has brought so much hate towards this man and his family they are scared and can't sleep at night. What if they are worried for their safety. What if his wife can't stop crying because she feels so betrayed by this community and the other couple. What if people realized there are two sides to every story. What if people weren't so hateful.
What if this is a new account for the offender trying to change the narrative... What if they are trying to discount "NO means NO"... What if they are trying to make unacceptable behavior, acceptable... GET REAL OR GTFO! You are pathetic and don't belong in this discussion.
SexynPC wrote:
SM are not LS participants. They are LS wannabe’s on the outside looking in and usually will try to disrupt the trust relationship.
We avoid SM strictly for the fact that they somehow get an emotional attachment. They are usually younger an immature and lack the knowledge and wisdom of living the LS partnership with an equal.
SM should stick to tinder. We know where to find you guys. Your comments speak to all the above btw.
You also state your comments like you are within our community. What does a SM have to offer in the LS community? SM are commodities that can be found as easily as a single picture my wife and I post up and weed out the 500 messages we get in an hour time frames.
I’m going back to PlushLife..at least there they ferret out the pretenders.
Your comment lacks any reasonable thought and is divisive and shallow. So on that same mentality would you say that a SF is not a lifestyle participant? A community is made up of ALL it's participants by definition. All inclusive (SM, SF, Couples)and your comments only create a divisive environment which is the exact opposite of what this site and most of it's members promote. I have maintained positive and healthy relationships and always with respect. You seem to think (based on your post) that your relationship and experiences are the only one's that matter or exist. I am sure that SM, SF and couples have had many positive experiences that outweigh your intolerant attitude and comments. Again, none of my comments have been insulting or against any individual person (or couple) let alone made any accusations against any of the people involved in the initial accusation and post. My intent was to remain constructive and positive. And you mention Plushlife... (as a final comment). Seems more like your intent is spam for another site and not a reasonable open forum constructive conversation?
Marcos, this is AWFUL to hear. I can’t believe that. Does his wife know? I would definitely tell her. And, if you need some backup to rough this guy up, I know someone who would love to help.
Would it help her if she knew she never had to be alone with someone, in a separate room again?
I guess this is part of the reason I am absolutely not ok with separate room play. Besides, we are in this together, so for us, it’s definitely a “together” experience. Though, for some, separate room play IS ok, and works for them, which is awesome.
Gosh, I am so sorry this happened to her. It makes me sick, and makes me want to punch him in the no no zone! This was NOT her fault. Just keep loving her, making her feel loved, protected and honored...
Would it help her if she knew she never had to be alone with someone, in a separate room again?
I guess this is part of the reason I am absolutely not ok with separate room play. Besides, we are in this together, so for us, it’s definitely a “together” experience. Though, for some, separate room play IS ok, and works for them, which is awesome.
Gosh, I am so sorry this happened to her. It makes me sick, and makes me want to punch him in the no no zone! This was NOT her fault. Just keep loving her, making her feel loved, protected and honored...
And, agreed. Post his name here, so we can all be aware, and stay away. By doing so, you could potentially safe someone from being realty hurt.