Here's a classic: (I've never posted a private e-mail before but this is a REAL goober, he didn't have time to read our "Noval" but would like to fuck me till I pass out)
From: WELOVLIFE
Subject: No subject
Date: August 6, 2006 (9:15 AM)
Hi Mrs Fun
I did not have time to read the noval, but I can keep it short and sweet. If you want hot sex then e-mail us. If you want a big dick in you than e-mail us. If hubby wants some good pussy than e-mail us. If you want to fuck until you pass out by all means e-mal us.
Barb & John
<hr>
Now if "John" had read our profile he may have figured out we might not be the best couple to send his "Shell Station Graffiti" too.
We have to block all single men because they have a few goobers among their ranks, what happens if we have to block couples?
Answer: Maytag-Repair-Man Swingers R- US (Lonely People)...
From: WELOVLIFE
Subject: No subject
Date: August 6, 2006 (9:15 AM)
Hi Mrs Fun
I did not have time to read the noval, but I can keep it short and sweet. If you want hot sex then e-mail us. If you want a big dick in you than e-mail us. If hubby wants some good pussy than e-mail us. If you want to fuck until you pass out by all means e-mal us.
Barb & John
<hr>
Now if "John" had read our profile he may have figured out we might not be the best couple to send his "Shell Station Graffiti" too.
We have to block all single men because they have a few goobers among their ranks, what happens if we have to block couples?
Answer: Maytag-Repair-Man Swingers R- US (Lonely People)...
I think what they sent you was rude and crude. I also think your novel a bit long to read also! To each their own!
Mr onefunfriend
Mr onefunfriend
I, for one, read the entire profile and found it QUITE amusing. If I lived closer (and I DO vacation in PCB every so often) I would CERTAINLY want to meet for dinner and drinks. LOL
I'm not sure why they thought this was an appropriate email to send to you, or anyone else for that matter. Honestly, yes you're profile is kinda long, but we personally give it "a two thumbs up", "laugh out loud hilarious" rating and its well worth the read to know the people you are thinking of contacting. But that's just our .02...
Perhaps a nice disclaimer at the top might help. Something along the lines of this:
If you feel compelled to use any of these phrases: "fuck until you pass out", "a big dick in you", or "hubby wants some good pussy".... DON'T EMAIL US
Just a thought.
-Cidd & SG
PS. I think novella would probably be more appropriate than noval... lol
Perhaps a nice disclaimer at the top might help. Something along the lines of this:
If you feel compelled to use any of these phrases: "fuck until you pass out", "a big dick in you", or "hubby wants some good pussy".... DON'T EMAIL US
Just a thought.
-Cidd & SG
PS. I think novella would probably be more appropriate than noval... lol
Hmmm.... I think you should, instead, open up your email to EVERYBODY, then collect the "best" submissions and publish them in a humor book. Remember "Children's Leters to God" when we were kids?
Do you think that America is now ready for:
"Swinger's Letters to Us"?
(smile)
Hey... isn't "fucking until you pass out" - better than "fucking until you pass GAS"?
Beard
Do you think that America is now ready for:
"Swinger's Letters to Us"?
(smile)
Hey... isn't "fucking until you pass out" - better than "fucking until you pass GAS"?
Beard
With tongue now firmly planted in cheek, I hereby attempt to help improve your "noval" (and perhaps enjoy your navel) by exhibiting my editor's skills. Really. I currently am the sole reviewer of the erotic essays published on "lorieposes.com".
Anyway:
aplogies - missing an "o"
I see lots of ads where the couples lists : Either "couple lists" or "couples list", please
"She can be "bi" with the right woman : Need to close the quote there
Sorry but sometimes my mind wanders, other times it leaves all together: Sorry, that seems a bit awkward. Perhaps "other times *I* leave all together"? I really just included that so you'd know that I read your *entire* profile.
Bottom line: I salute you fiercely! You are the first female I've ever seen who obsesses about sex and swinging as much as *I* do. To have analyzed and written such an engaging "noval" is quite impressive. Heck. I take back my previous suggestion to write a book: just publish THIS one!
ANd you're smokin' HOT, too!
Smiles!
Beard
Anyway:
aplogies - missing an "o"
I see lots of ads where the couples lists : Either "couple lists" or "couples list", please
"She can be "bi" with the right woman : Need to close the quote there
Sorry but sometimes my mind wanders, other times it leaves all together: Sorry, that seems a bit awkward. Perhaps "other times *I* leave all together"? I really just included that so you'd know that I read your *entire* profile.
Bottom line: I salute you fiercely! You are the first female I've ever seen who obsesses about sex and swinging as much as *I* do. To have analyzed and written such an engaging "noval" is quite impressive. Heck. I take back my previous suggestion to write a book: just publish THIS one!
ANd you're smokin' HOT, too!
Smiles!
Beard
Your "noval" (lol) is great. The first time I read it, I laughed my ass off. People with your kind of intelligence and sense of humor are just the kind we would love to meet. Way, way cool!
well if you noticed it was written by a male. Sure women can get catty and crude but in this case lay it on the doorstep of guilty party
Just dont reply to that email.....or simply reply with a "Thanks, but NO thanks. We only reply to those that can talk with some respect towards us"
As far as your "novel" well, just my opinion, and there are many both against and for the novel.....I personally lost interest half way down.......but what I read was very funny, and intriquing to say the least. It just was a bit to long for a profile, I just wanna know what you like, and what you are into to see if there might be a simliarity to what we like or dont like.......but, I am sure the rest of it was very good too, I just didnt have time to sit and read it all....LOL! You two seem very funny, and well liked, so why worry bout what some sum bitch thinks.....
As far as your "novel" well, just my opinion, and there are many both against and for the novel.....I personally lost interest half way down.......but what I read was very funny, and intriquing to say the least. It just was a bit to long for a profile, I just wanna know what you like, and what you are into to see if there might be a simliarity to what we like or dont like.......but, I am sure the rest of it was very good too, I just didnt have time to sit and read it all....LOL! You two seem very funny, and well liked, so why worry bout what some sum bitch thinks.....
I(tish) can totally understand where fla4fun is coming from...as some of you know I am also "jeepngrl" and listed as a single fem....but if people would just read my profile they would see that I am actually a cpl and only want my other acct for other purposes(i,e..chat room with hubby)....I have actually had to get quite rude with some people...single men and mostly cpls!!! So I understand that we cant just label the single guys crude....there is definitely a % of crude CPLS also and they have NO idea of what most of us our in this lifestyle for....THE FRIENDSHIPS and we get to hang out with OTHER PERVERTS!!! What a joy it would be if we could all meet cpls as honest and open as you FLA4FUN...til that day kiss Kiss
First of I agree with you MFM is not for everyone. I am a single male not one of the pushy one but still yet single. I read and respect those such as yourself that ask not to be bothered by us. But gack to the subject at hand, lol, there are bad apples in every group, single men, single ladies and even couples. They all need to look at what the swinging life style is all about it is not about how many people you can sleep with or how many notches you can put in your bed post, it is the friendship and the respect of each other ( all parties involved ) that makes this life style really work. I am single not by choice the Gorgious Lady that brought me into this life style was taken from me a while ago and I have not found anyone who could replace her, but thats another story. All I can say is the IDIOTS that don' respect others and read thier profiles are not worth the time it waste to reply. You two seem like a great couple and I hope that all is well and your profile is Great, it was one of the best laughs I have had in a long time but very honest at the sametime. I hope that this is the last time that you have and IDIOT problem lol. Thank you for listening to my rant and in leaving my I just say "May all your dreams be wet and may all your fantasies come true no matter how kinky they may be". A Friend, T
OMG we almost died reading this it is so damn funny (the profile not the thread). Well, ok the thread was good too.
but the one good thing that came out was that we really need to update our lame ass profile....
OH, and that is a picture of us standing up in a swinger wedding, not OUR wedding picture. Unless you were not speaking directly to us in your profile.... wait, I forgot. They told me not EVERYTHING was about me so maybe you were not speaking to us. And that picture is on another website anyway so just forget about this.
Our Motto, lets all just get along and have great sex..... we live in a drama free zone except when newbies are around and if she is a redhead a lil drama is ok. OUCH Tina says not even then (yes, she hit me)...
'nuff said
but the one good thing that came out was that we really need to update our lame ass profile....
OH, and that is a picture of us standing up in a swinger wedding, not OUR wedding picture. Unless you were not speaking directly to us in your profile.... wait, I forgot. They told me not EVERYTHING was about me so maybe you were not speaking to us. And that picture is on another website anyway so just forget about this.
Our Motto, lets all just get along and have great sex..... we live in a drama free zone except when newbies are around and if she is a redhead a lil drama is ok. OUCH Tina says not even then (yes, she hit me)...
'nuff said