Since everyone is so bored at home and active on the forums I have a nagging question.
WTF is up with people always sending friends requests here? It’s never ending. Yes, we know this place is loaded with cheats and pic collectors. But others do it too. Sure, if we have met or are already friends we don’t mind. Not sure exactly why it matters in that sense either though as those people have our contact info already.
I think it’s been so misused or abused that people here think it’s the norm. Some people get offended when you won’t accept them.
What we like to do is read the profile and if looks like it could lead to something more, talk on k!k and setup a time and the place to meet. G-PG maybe PG13 picts are all I want to meet. I guess I like the excitement of the unknown/imagination.
But, dating aside, we and others we know here have setup meet and greets, small events, or house parties and in doing that you get absolutely bombarded with friend requests. How on earth people think since someone is setting up a meet and greet and you hope to attend, that they want to accept your request and share their private pictures with you?? You attending their party is zero indication they want to see, share, or do anything private with you.
Then you have the ones here that have one normal picture of a body part, or a few “show nothing picts” with faces blotted out and have no private pictures at all, and they send requests over and over. So what you are basically saying in that case is - our discretion is waaay more important than yours. You need to see everything, know everything, then, if we fit your needs you will share something back. The same types that the first question is “what are you looking for?” like swingular is a shopping mall that you can find your exact style and fit.
I guess what I’m saying is STOP! People very active here are tired of it. Treat people with respect, like you want to be treated. If you want to get to know them, send a damn message. Quit being lazy, and when you reach out follow up. There are some amazing people here that take time to help. But that certainly doesn’t mean they want to share everything with you. Maybe in the future, maybe never. A huge part of the swinging world is just hanging with like minded people, chatting, and having fun.
WTF is up with people always sending friends requests here? It’s never ending. Yes, we know this place is loaded with cheats and pic collectors. But others do it too. Sure, if we have met or are already friends we don’t mind. Not sure exactly why it matters in that sense either though as those people have our contact info already.
I think it’s been so misused or abused that people here think it’s the norm. Some people get offended when you won’t accept them.
What we like to do is read the profile and if looks like it could lead to something more, talk on k!k and setup a time and the place to meet. G-PG maybe PG13 picts are all I want to meet. I guess I like the excitement of the unknown/imagination.
But, dating aside, we and others we know here have setup meet and greets, small events, or house parties and in doing that you get absolutely bombarded with friend requests. How on earth people think since someone is setting up a meet and greet and you hope to attend, that they want to accept your request and share their private pictures with you?? You attending their party is zero indication they want to see, share, or do anything private with you.
Then you have the ones here that have one normal picture of a body part, or a few “show nothing picts” with faces blotted out and have no private pictures at all, and they send requests over and over. So what you are basically saying in that case is - our discretion is waaay more important than yours. You need to see everything, know everything, then, if we fit your needs you will share something back. The same types that the first question is “what are you looking for?” like swingular is a shopping mall that you can find your exact style and fit.
I guess what I’m saying is STOP! People very active here are tired of it. Treat people with respect, like you want to be treated. If you want to get to know them, send a damn message. Quit being lazy, and when you reach out follow up. There are some amazing people here that take time to help. But that certainly doesn’t mean they want to share everything with you. Maybe in the future, maybe never. A huge part of the swinging world is just hanging with like minded people, chatting, and having fun.
New here so... good info to know. We assumed that was the first step. 
Deedub70 wrote:
New here so... good info to know. We assumed that was the first step.
If someone strikes your interest, send them a message with an intro and why. It goes a long ways. You two look extremely fun!
Lol...sorry it is a funny rant to us.
So the secret is to not care about blind friend request. If you want to ignore them do it. Too much other shit to get upset over.
Most of the time these folks that don't send an email to say whatever are only interested in your pics....who cares. They don't read or obviously they would email you first. Please don't get upset by others, its just not worth it. Swinging is supposed to be fun...remember. Just our two cents.
So the secret is to not care about blind friend request. If you want to ignore them do it. Too much other shit to get upset over.
Most of the time these folks that don't send an email to say whatever are only interested in your pics....who cares. They don't read or obviously they would email you first. Please don't get upset by others, its just not worth it. Swinging is supposed to be fun...remember. Just our two cents.
So agree if you don’t have any private pictures for them to see what good is a friend request? If you are that nervous about being outed then the lifestyle is probably not for you.
Deedub70 wrote:
New here so... good info to know. We assumed that was the first step.
Love your 4th picture at stargazer 👍
Too many single guys, too many friend requests... the things people find to get upset about here. Yes, some people would like to see faces before they commit to a meeting. Some people want to talk for a while in here first, and keep a separate group of virtual friends to delineate who they’ve talked a little more with. Some people like single guys, some don’t. It takes all of 4.3 milliseconds to click on no, delete, whatever, and that’s if you decide to do anything at all.
Or you can get mad that the entire world doesn’t behave exactly how you’d prefer.
Or you can get mad that the entire world doesn’t behave exactly how you’d prefer.
Our perspective on the matter is that it’s a friendly wink or wave. An interest gauge if you would. Accepting it is the thumbs up to engage in further communication. We do not get bothered by random friend requests. In some ways it’s flattering in of itself. While I can understand the way some people think. My opinion 100% is that the internet is for porn. Without being rude in explaining further, there are better avenues for pictures, videos etc. Who knows what the number is, it’s anyone’s guess, but on this forum I would imagine that 1-1000 friend requests is an actual attempt for someone to get access to pictures to get off on. Not saying your wrong for feeling the way you do when getting a blind friend request. I think maybe just wrong in the motives of sending blind friend requests.
Lol definitely not mad, nor do I get mad in the lifestyle. We have plenty of fun.
As far as being outed in the lifestyle, we use many many sites and most have our faces, we just learned long ago how to set our private pictures here so it doesn’t show more than any other site, if we do accept that request. Also, this is the only site that has people in our area that have mostly proven themselves to be fake couple cheating profiles, or cheating profiles in general. It gone as far as “if you don’t meet, I will out you” kinda shit.
This site for us supplies the social side of swinging, not really the sexual side. With so many posts around about how hard it is to meet, combined with the fact of all the newbs we talk to and refer over here (about 3-5 per week) it was more meant for proper etiquette and site use. Some who have been here a long time know how to do it and have their profile setup for it. But others are learning to do the same, that are not setup for it.
Regardless of how things used to be done, times change and things evolve. You can go click on profile after profile of established couples here and the first words in all caps say no blind friend requests. Pretty sure it’s right by the request button, but they still get them over and over. Maybe it’s time to hold people to a higher standard or at least inform them it’s a bit disrespectful.
As far as being outed in the lifestyle, we use many many sites and most have our faces, we just learned long ago how to set our private pictures here so it doesn’t show more than any other site, if we do accept that request. Also, this is the only site that has people in our area that have mostly proven themselves to be fake couple cheating profiles, or cheating profiles in general. It gone as far as “if you don’t meet, I will out you” kinda shit.
This site for us supplies the social side of swinging, not really the sexual side. With so many posts around about how hard it is to meet, combined with the fact of all the newbs we talk to and refer over here (about 3-5 per week) it was more meant for proper etiquette and site use. Some who have been here a long time know how to do it and have their profile setup for it. But others are learning to do the same, that are not setup for it.
Regardless of how things used to be done, times change and things evolve. You can go click on profile after profile of established couples here and the first words in all caps say no blind friend requests. Pretty sure it’s right by the request button, but they still get them over and over. Maybe it’s time to hold people to a higher standard or at least inform them it’s a bit disrespectful.
mountainlovers wrote:
Too many single guys, too many friend requests... the things people find to get upset about here. Yes, some people would like to see faces before they commit to a meeting. Some people want to talk for a while in here first, and keep a separate group of virtual friends to delineate who they’ve talked a little more with. Some people like single guys, some don’t. It takes all of 4.3 milliseconds to click on no, delete, whatever, and that’s if you decide to do anything at all.
Or you can get mad that the entire world doesn’t behave exactly how you’d prefer.
Not upset. Just a nagging question. From posts like this condoning it I can see why it always happens.
Fair enough. You did say you were bored and it was just a nagging question.
Threats to out you if you don’t meet? That’s insane, and maybe illegal? Sorry you’re running into that.
We don’t ever send blind friend requests if it asks not to. For the most part we don’t ever but I don’t think it’s a huge deal to get one—we just probably won’t accept it unless their profile is amazing lol.
Anyway, carry on. One thing dumber than getting upset is complaining about people getting upset
Threats to out you if you don’t meet? That’s insane, and maybe illegal? Sorry you’re running into that.
We don’t ever send blind friend requests if it asks not to. For the most part we don’t ever but I don’t think it’s a huge deal to get one—we just probably won’t accept it unless their profile is amazing lol.
Anyway, carry on. One thing dumber than getting upset is complaining about people getting upset
Utahldscouple wrote:
So agree if you don’t have any private pictures for them to see what good is a friend request? If you are that nervous about being outed then the lifestyle is probably not for you.
Couldn’t agree more! This, and please send a message with the friend request too!
Utahldscouple wrote:
So agree if you don’t have any private pictures for them to see what good is a friend request? If you are that nervous about being outed then the lifestyle is probably not for you.
Couldn’t agree more! This, and please send a message with the friend request too!
I’m so upset. The only friend requests I get are blind friend requests and I just assumed it was because I’m ugly so I was okay with it. Now you’re saying it’s not okay. FML.
You mean people here want to really be friends? That's an interesting concept I think we would like to try sometime. Actually we have had some wonderful friendships that started out here, some where vanilla, others become more personal. Most of those friendships have divorced, moved away or other situations came to pass that caused the relationships termination. Becoming "aged" makes it more difficult to establish a relationship. We have become more interested in something more lasting so we don't accept friend requests until we have the opportunity to learn more about the person and determine if there is a future in the relationship. Guess we must be pretty scary however, not many people are willing to try out the company of someone over 60.
Honestly I can’t think of an instance where someone sent a friend request first, out of the blue, that became a friend. If it worked that way I doubt people would have no blind friend request as the first words in their profile.
We do have tons of swinger friends. Yes, they are awesome! To the point we don’t even have vanilla friends anymore.
We post up other things here, and when we do we get hundreds of requests. Those milla seconds being talked about before adds up to a very long time sorting through. Some we do accept if we have interest. They sit for a while. We message saying hey please respond or will we remove you. They don’t. Next time we post they send another one, it happens over and over.
We do have tons of swinger friends. Yes, they are awesome! To the point we don’t even have vanilla friends anymore.
We post up other things here, and when we do we get hundreds of requests. Those milla seconds being talked about before adds up to a very long time sorting through. Some we do accept if we have interest. They sit for a while. We message saying hey please respond or will we remove you. They don’t. Next time we post they send another one, it happens over and over.
^^ to go along with that, the wink mentioned above is also a great idea. Some place in between not reaching out and sending a full message with or without a friend request.
I do get most are using it as a wink, but the site is not setup correctly for it.
I do get most are using it as a wink, but the site is not setup correctly for it.
mountainlovers wrote:
Too many single guys, too many friend requests... the things people find to get upset about here. Yes, some people would like to see faces before they commit to a meeting. Some people want to talk for a while in here first, and keep a separate group of virtual friends to delineate who they’ve talked a little more with. Some people like single guys, some don’t. It takes all of 4.3 milliseconds to click on no, delete, whatever, and that’s if you decide to do anything at all.
Or you can get mad that the entire world doesn’t behave exactly how you’d prefer.
Agreed, we all have a different way of doing things. If we send a friend request we always follow it with an intro, and we are genuinely interested in learning more about the couple or single, and would like to meet and see where it goes. Private pics generally have more face pics and normal pics that are nice to see if there is a connection. Never take it personal if someone doesnt accept or we are not their type.
Sm435 wrote:
^^ to go along with that, the wink mentioned above is also a great idea. Some place in between not reaching out and sending a full message with or without a friend request.
I do get most are using it as a wink, but the site is not setup correctly for it.
We understand the function of a "wink" or "flirt". It is used a lot on other sites. However for us, it does nothing for us. It's kinda lazy and we correlate it to the amount of effort they will spend getting to know us or the amount of effort in the bedroom. Speaking just for us, emails are the only way to get a response from us.
But, some people like the "wink" function. So, it doesn't hurt to put that on the site too.
Anyway, carry on. One thing dumber than getting upset is complaining about people getting upset [/quote]
Haha...good one.
[/quote]Haha...good one.
What’s up with the blocking single men setting that doesn’t seem to work? We get a few a week just trolling for pics,