Blonde Convention
80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "BlondesAreNot Stupid Convention.
The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"
After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!"
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.
Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"
After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?"
The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened -- the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting,
"GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"
The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?". Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream...
"GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"
80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "BlondesAreNot Stupid Convention.
The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"
After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!"
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.
Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"
After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?"
The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened -- the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting,
"GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"
The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?". Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream...
"GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"
that was mildly amusing, but now you have me searching for some dumb single male jokes
What does a Blond and a 747 airplane have in comon--------------A BLACK BOX
Believe It Or Not
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 20 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at the
counter.
"You don't?" I replied.
"We only have six, nine, or twenty,"
was the reply.
"So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order
six?"
"That's right."
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
I was checking out at the local WalMart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the cashier had
scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over
for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she
said to me
"Do you know how much this is?" ...and I said to her
"I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today".
She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just
happened....
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When inquired as to what she
was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
asking for a credit card number,
so she was using the ATM "thingy".
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied,
"I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I don't know.
Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied,
"Why don't you drive over there
and check about the batteries?
It's a long walk."
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier paper," the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put
it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
! ? !
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage.
The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister".
I asked the manager what had happened.
He told me that the driver
had set the cruise control and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank.
Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers.
One night he got a call from a woman
in one of the branch banks who had this question:
"I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire
downtown?"
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a
metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
The message
"He's lying"
was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the
suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working,
The suspect CONFESSED !!
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 20 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at the
counter.
"You don't?" I replied.
"We only have six, nine, or twenty,"
was the reply.
"So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order
six?"
"That's right."
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
I was checking out at the local WalMart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the cashier had
scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over
for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she
said to me
"Do you know how much this is?" ...and I said to her
"I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today".
She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just
happened....
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When inquired as to what she
was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
asking for a credit card number,
so she was using the ATM "thingy".
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied,
"I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I don't know.
Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied,
"Why don't you drive over there
and check about the batteries?
It's a long walk."
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier paper," the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put
it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
! ? !
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage.
The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister".
I asked the manager what had happened.
He told me that the driver
had set the cruise control and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank.
Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers.
One night he got a call from a woman
in one of the branch banks who had this question:
"I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire
downtown?"
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a
metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
The message
"He's lying"
was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the
suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working,
The suspect CONFESSED !!