Swingers Forum - How did you find the right guy??

You just have to for it if it feels right. You can ask a bunch if questions and go for it. On question my wife wanted me to ask wa if the guy was "cut' or hairy. Other then that it just goes on how you feel.

I think you have to trust your instincts. I have been that single guy and I was always surprised by how welcoming other couples made me feel. When may wife met a single guys on an LS cruise and I told her to take him back to the room but she declined but was able to meet up with him in the group playroom and had a great time. He is a terrific guy and I hope she gets to see him again when covid is over.

We are very fortunate to meet great people and have wonderful experiences in the lifestyle. If something does not work we don’t dwell on it and just move on. I guess what I’m saying is be cautious and safe but trust you’re instincts, don’t take unnecessary risk and have fun.

My wife is the most precious thing in my life. I often answer your question with a comparison that most can easily relate too. When someone asks me if they can take my Harley out for a ride, there are a lot of things I consider... Do I trust them enough to let them take it, just how well do I know them, what experience do they have, will they return it back to me in the same or better condition than before they left. You get the major idea... My sweetheart means more to me than the bike so I try to view the situation the same way. Her first experience was with a close friend we trusted. Since we were completely innocent when we married, we had no sexual experience outside our own relationship. To share something this personal and completely expose ourselves was new and made us both alittle nervous. We started by letting our friend have graduating stages of foreplay until Cyn was comfortable being naked and touched by someone other than myself. The first time was not all that great because everyone was nervous. After a few more times everyone was relaxed and began to really enjoy the experience. As we moved on to new people, we learned to ask important questions keeping in mind, these are our bodies and our health and we want to protect them from anything that could be destructive. We both also keep in our minds at all time, sex is a physical event, love is emotionally. We make love to each other, we have sex with other people. We have now been in lifestyles long enough it doesn't take long to know who we feel good about and who we don't. Just one last bit of advice, follow that gut feeling, it often helps you make the right decision.

Our experiences have been mixed, had great single guy playmates that just can't abide by our rules and attempt to put something together with my wife on the side,that's a deal breaker. Married guys with hall passes seem best, or just playing away from home

ParkCityWife wrote:

We have had the best results with the wife going out on the town with another lady friend. That way they pic who they are interested in and enjoy the flirtation and attention. They want to feel desired and just setting up a meeting with some guy from this site often doesn’t work. Most guys here are just interested in getting laid. Nothing against that since it is a swinger site. Take it slow and respect her wishes. She needs to feel “safe” with the other guy and this takes time. Enjoy the journey not just the end result. Our communication, love and trust is the foundation. Most of all just have fun and remember that your fantasies might be stronger than the real thing. Although it is awesome watching them get fucked. 😉

Well said, the natural flow of an evening getting to know a person she is attracted to seems the best way to find a long term friend. Building a connection and ensuring the guy is "in to her" leads to a much more satisfying experience. Keep looking, there are a lot of great guys out there. You'll be glad you did.