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Swingers Forum - How did you find the right guy??

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Hello everyone!

Pretty broad question here... But basically my wife and I have been talking about my fantasy for years now. Which lead to us playing online with other men (Kik & webcam) but recently we have talked and she feels like she may be moving towards being ready to go from online to real Iife!

So I just wanted to get an idea of how others found the right guy / bull? What questions did you ask them? What rules did you have about the guy and for your first experience?

Is it best to have everyone get tested to show everyone is "healthy"? Or what's the best route for that kind of information?

I know these are some pretty annoying/noob questions... But any insight would be amazing!

Thank you all in advance :)
You just have to for it if it feels right. You can ask a bunch if questions and go for it. On question my wife wanted me to ask wa if the guy was "cut' or hairy. Other then that it just goes on how you feel.
As the male I say to vet each and every guy. You know your wife better than anyone. When you find the right guy you'll know it. This is obviously a long process which involves you meeting flakes/fakes and tools. However, whenever you find a good one you'll be happy and your wife very happy. Meeting for a beer and conversation is what I feel works best. My 2
I think you have to trust your instincts. I have been that single guy and I was always surprised by how welcoming other couples made me feel. When may wife met a single guys on an LS cruise and I told her to take him back to the room but she declined but was able to meet up with him in the group playroom and had a great time. He is a terrific guy and I hope she gets to see him again when covid is over.

We are very fortunate to meet great people and have wonderful experiences in the lifestyle. If something does not work we don’t dwell on it and just move on. I guess what I’m saying is be cautious and safe but trust you’re instincts, don’t take unnecessary risk and have fun.
Like everyone. Has said above. You can ask all the questions (and should), get all the test (and should), but in the end you have to meet up and it has to feel right.
If you are mostly searching online at present, the guys that you find attractive, that also have great recommendations from other couples, are more likely to be what you are looking for. If a guy can't host, that might be a red flag. He might be trying to hook up behind his wife or significant other's back. We think getting tested is a great idea. If you are looking for something exclusive, and you are hoping that this guy will want to play with your lady several times a week let the guys you are vetting know that right up front. Meet somewhere public, maybe near his or your home, where you have enough privacy to ask all the questions you have and to see if there is enough chemistry and attraction to go forward. If there obviously is plenty of chemistry and attraction, then maybe move the encounter to your or his place. Once the three of you are alone, let nature take it's course and let the passion go as far as all three of you wish! Anyone in the equation can put on the brakes.

We have met quite a few gentlemen online, that we ended up feeling comfortable with enough to meet like this. We have been so busy, and now with this pandemic, we are kind of out of practice. If the initial public encounter goes well, and we make the move to privacy, our lady usually sits on a couch next to the gentleman. As the conversation becomes more sensual and erotic, and some touching begins, she will tell him that she would like to start taking their clothes off. It's really erotic for our lady to meet with a guy, for the first time face to face, and if there is chemistry for her to enjoy him, and him to enjoy her completely, sexually with in an hour or so of their first face to face hello. I love to watch, and eventually join him in making her happy beyond measure. First time we really like to just give a guy plenty of time with her by himself.
The encounters that follow are also extremely hot. Practice makes for great intimacy! If the first encounter went really well, his and her imagination and desire, for more, really takes it off the charts for episode number two.
My wife is the most precious thing in my life. I often answer your question with a comparison that most can easily relate too. When someone asks me if they can take my Harley out for a ride, there are a lot of things I consider... Do I trust them enough to let them take it, just how well do I know them, what experience do they have, will they return it back to me in the same or better condition than before they left. You get the major idea... My sweetheart means more to me than the bike so I try to view the situation the same way. Her first experience was with a close friend we trusted. Since we were completely innocent when we married, we had no sexual experience outside our own relationship. To share something this personal and completely expose ourselves was new and made us both alittle nervous. We started by letting our friend have graduating stages of foreplay until Cyn was comfortable being naked and touched by someone other than myself. The first time was not all that great because everyone was nervous. After a few more times everyone was relaxed and began to really enjoy the experience. As we moved on to new people, we learned to ask important questions keeping in mind, these are our bodies and our health and we want to protect them from anything that could be destructive. We both also keep in our minds at all time, sex is a physical event, love is emotionally. We make love to each other, we have sex with other people. We have now been in lifestyles long enough it doesn't take long to know who we feel good about and who we don't. Just one last bit of advice, follow that gut feeling, it often helps you make the right decision.
We have the done married with a hallpass before, and its been great....you know each other is already in a committed relationship, usually less drama. But we have to talk and get a feel for the couple so that we KNOW everyone involved is comfortable and ok. These have been some of our best experiences
Our experiences have been mixed, had great single guy playmates that just can't abide by our rules and attempt to put something together with my wife on the side,that's a deal breaker. Married guys with hall passes seem best, or just playing away from home
Anyone know someone with a huge manhood like this for wife. If you do and they are close to us or travel message me please.
ParkCityWife wrote:

We have had the best results with the wife going out on the town with another lady friend. That way they pic who they are interested in and enjoy the flirtation and attention. They want to feel desired and just setting up a meeting with some guy from this site often doesn’t work. Most guys here are just interested in getting laid. Nothing against that since it is a swinger site. Take it slow and respect her wishes. She needs to feel “safe” with the other guy and this takes time. Enjoy the journey not just the end result. Our communication, love and trust is the foundation. Most of all just have fun and remember that your fantasies might be stronger than the real thing. Although it is awesome watching them get fucked. 😉

Well said, the natural flow of an evening getting to know a person she is attracted to seems the best way to find a long term friend. Building a connection and ensuring the guy is "in to her" leads to a much more satisfying experience. Keep looking, there are a lot of great guys out there. You'll be glad you did.