We have experienced this also...I think it gets to be a friendship, which involves emotional attachments...Even though so many claim "friends first," they do not want friends, they want someone they can talk to and then jump into the sack with...but that is it...no emotions...
Just his opinion...not a fact nor something he has researched...just opinion based on experiences...
Just his opinion...not a fact nor something he has researched...just opinion based on experiences...
Actually, we can't seem to figure out what the f...k anybody in "the lifestyle" wants. It is becoming one of the most frustrating things we have ever done. Everyone seems to have all these issues, rules, drama, etc., etc. I thought we were all just trying to have some sexual fun. It's almost like a second job. Geez!
Maybe its just us.. but we certainly find we go through stages. Some (like now) when were very social and meeting lots of people and some when we just hangout with the same good friends and maybe not swing for months. Alot depends whats going on in our lives, how busy we are and of course if there are any people worth meeting.
I wouldnt say the dynamics of our friendships changes so we arent interested in swinging any longer with friends we have made, maybe just we go through stages where we dont want to share each other for awhile, or we dont feel as playful as we do other times. Like some of you, I am sure, life just gets busy and there are better things to do and worry about. We have had friends in this lifestyle that we have had for quite sometime and we havent lost interest in them in that sexual way at all......sometimes we just like to hang out with them and call it good. We think it is nice to have friends that we can play around with when everyone is in the mood for it, but that we can all just hang out without the pressure lerking behind that you need to play at the end of the night......that isnt what we want out of this.
Two comments I am going to try to keep short.
First.. there are the couples we see somewhat regularly, we enjoy the more intimate moments with them, but we need to take a break every so often and just be friends. We are glad they understand that. When we are ready to get back into the bedsheets with them, its much more meaningful and fun. We respect them when they feel the need to become vertical friends for a while and not horizontal. So its not always a loss of interest, just a temporary change of scenery or personal events in our life... (Then again, some people do have issues that change their attitude towards lifestyles altogether.. and you have to respect their needs when they become just vanilla).
Second. Old topic, but similar in nature to this string.
Whatever happened to plain old honesty? Its a frustrating experiences to chat over a period of time, feel a friendship is developing, finally meet and spend a great eveing together... talk about getting together again soon only to be continually stood up or given a rash of excuses. I think everyone understands that finding a good match with another couple comes with several disappointments. Its so much easier to accept when you are told straight out that its not going to work out, rather than being lead on and on with the premise that there is something developing. Common courtesy goes along way and commands respect. Even after a relationship that may have developed for extended periods of time, why not be truthful and let the other party know when the interest is dying or gone? Or when its just a social relationship you are comfortable with.. why not be honest? There are some great friendships that can be made here that dont require sex.
It happens to all of us.. think about how you want to be treated when you are on the recieving end.
HUGS... Cyn, (and him)
First.. there are the couples we see somewhat regularly, we enjoy the more intimate moments with them, but we need to take a break every so often and just be friends. We are glad they understand that. When we are ready to get back into the bedsheets with them, its much more meaningful and fun. We respect them when they feel the need to become vertical friends for a while and not horizontal. So its not always a loss of interest, just a temporary change of scenery or personal events in our life... (Then again, some people do have issues that change their attitude towards lifestyles altogether.. and you have to respect their needs when they become just vanilla).
Second. Old topic, but similar in nature to this string.
Whatever happened to plain old honesty? Its a frustrating experiences to chat over a period of time, feel a friendship is developing, finally meet and spend a great eveing together... talk about getting together again soon only to be continually stood up or given a rash of excuses. I think everyone understands that finding a good match with another couple comes with several disappointments. Its so much easier to accept when you are told straight out that its not going to work out, rather than being lead on and on with the premise that there is something developing. Common courtesy goes along way and commands respect. Even after a relationship that may have developed for extended periods of time, why not be truthful and let the other party know when the interest is dying or gone? Or when its just a social relationship you are comfortable with.. why not be honest? There are some great friendships that can be made here that dont require sex.
It happens to all of us.. think about how you want to be treated when you are on the recieving end.
HUGS... Cyn, (and him)