Swingers Forum - What will it take for you to go out and play again?

Since most of us have been in quarantine for the last few weeks I'm just wondering what will it take once some of these restrictions are lifted to go out and play with others again.

I realize some have ignored these restrictions of isolation or have jobs that put them as essential but would you meet new play partners when things change? Will you see old friends that you know and have played with before? Will you restrict how you play such as no more kissing? Will you wait till you and future partners can be tested?

I know we want to see and play with our LS friends now but realize it's not possible. Maybe in a few weeks we can see those friends in the privacy of our homes. While we love to have small parties I don't see that happening for at least several months.

Is it worth seeing others and possibly getting exposed even if you end up asymtomatic not knowing how it will effect you or someone else ? Is this like the question of using a condom or not?

I'm sure there will be responses that others find not acceptable but just remember that rather than criticism keep the info for future reference and your decisions to play.

We personally feel like it is time to open it up. But we are on the minority side of things feeling that quarantining 97% of the population for 3% is not the right method (see Sweden). So to answer your question probably not much !

We would LOVE to play again but we have such great sex between the two of us that it's NOT a huge inconvenience not being able to fuck other people. Maybe that isn't the case for everyone?

But we're actually more concerned about the possibility that we could potentially be symptom-free carriers and make one of our friends sick. We would feel like absolute SHIT if that happened and would never forgive ourselves if one became sick and died!

It's not a massive harsh to our swinging buzz to wait a little while until the "all clear" signal or at least until reliable antibody tests are available and we know more about the potential for reinfection or resurgence of dormant COVID-19 infection in the population. YMMV

EVILDOERS wrote:

We would LOVE to play again but we have such great sex between the two of us that it's NOT a huge inconvenience not being able to fuck other people. Maybe that isn't the case for everyone?
But we're actually more concerned about the possibility that we could potentially be symptom-free carriers and make one of our friends sick. We would feel like absolute SHIT if that happened and would never forgive ourselves if one became sick and died!
It's not a massive harsh to our swinging buzz to wait a little while until the "all clear" signal or at least until reliable antibody tests are available and we know more about the potential for reinfection or resurgence of dormant COVID-19 infection in the population. YMMV

THis has nothing to do with swinging. We could live without it easily. As for everything else, if you want to self quarantine knock yourselves out. Guarantee most won't self quarantine as most aren't at risk.

Utahldscouple wrote:

EVILDOERS wrote:

We would LOVE to play again but we have such great sex between the two of us that it's NOT a huge inconvenience not being able to fuck other people. Maybe that isn't the case for everyone?
But we're actually more concerned about the possibility that we could potentially be symptom-free carriers and make one of our friends sick. We would feel like absolute SHIT if that happened and would never forgive ourselves if one became sick and died!
It's not a massive harsh to our swinging buzz to wait a little while until the "all clear" signal or at least until reliable antibody tests are available and we know more about the potential for reinfection or resurgence of dormant COVID-19 infection in the population. YMMV

THis has nothing to do with swinging. We could live without it easily. As for everything else, if you want to self quarantine knock yourselves out. Guarantee most won't self quarantine as most aren't at risk.

I think you might be mistaking the term "self quarantine" [sic] and being smart, social distancing, and maybe even cutting back on non-essential trips out into public spaces...oh, and wearing masks and maybe gloves in public (which even Gary Herbert encourages). We're SUPER lucky here in Utah to have such small numbers. You also might want to check Sweden's numbers. They're climbing rather quickly.

Oh, and my bad for associating this with swinging since it's a thread on a swing site that specifically talks about "Play". I thought the OP was using that word to denote having sex with other people. Perhaps they meant a rousing game of Monopoly or maybe even bowling. LOL

Utahldscouple wrote:

EVILDOERS wrote:

[quote=Utahldscouple][quote=EVILDOERS]We would LOVE to play again but we have such great sex between the two of us that it's NOT a huge inconvenience not being able to fuck other people. Maybe that isn't the case for everyone?
But we're actually more concerned about the possibility that we could potentially be symptom-free carriers and make one of our friends sick. We would feel like absolute SHIT if that happened and would never forgive ourselves if one became sick and died!
It's not a massive harsh to our swinging buzz to wait a little while until the "all clear" signal or at least until reliable antibody tests are available and we know more about the potential for reinfection or resurgence of dormant COVID-19 infection in the population. YMMV

THis has nothing to do with swinging. We could live without it easily. As for everything else, if you want to self quarantine knock yourselves out. Guarantee most won't self quarantine as most aren't at risk.

I think you might be mistaking the term "self quarantine" [sic] and being smart, social distancing, and maybe even cutting back on non-essential trips out into public spaces...oh, and wearing masks and maybe gloves in public (which even Gary Herbert encourages). We're SUPER lucky here in Utah to have such small numbers. You also might want to check Sweden's numbers. They're climbing rather quickly.
Oh, and my bad for associating this with swinging since it's a thread on a swing site that specifically talks about "Play". I thought the OP was using that word to denote having sex with other people. Perhaps they meant a rousing game of Monopoly or maybe even bowling. LOL[/quote]
Response is the same regarding swinging or not. We know the opinion isn't popular among a lot of people but believe our liberty is worth the consequences (call us harsh). "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." - Ben Franklin. Translation at the end of the day you get neither.
[/quote]

I can't help but wonder if you'd feel differently if someone you knew or perhaps a loved one had died from this virus. But you do you. There is nothing (Except maybe social/peer pressure?) keeping you from putting your money where your mouth is and going out and freely mingling with others who feel the same way you do. You could totally host a party at your house or a hotel and invite a whole bunch of people. I guarantee plenty of people would show up...especially horny single males! LOL You could even make it a soft swap/watch party or even just a meet and greet. What better way to demonstrate the value of your personal liberty?

bee tee dub...respect you as well but as a healthcare provider for all of my adult life I have, perhaps, a little bit different perspective on this pandemic.

At the risk of raising a fire storm, or of revealing too much about our personal lives - but ignoring these risks mostly because 1) I care about this community and 2) (full disclosure) I’m just board. -

In my real life work I am a Dr. of Epidemiology. Although the Covid-19 is NOT my specialty nor are infectious diseases - public health is. I also have a MPH. I think there are problems with the.current policies. Although they were effective at communicating the seriousness of the disease, they do take a ‘one size fits all’ approach to this disease.

Policy making is tricky - it requires us to make life and death decisions, most of which will be second guessed through the next millennium. As Americans, we love our platitudes. One of those empty platitudes is that we value life more than money. Except we don’t.

An easy example of this is our speed limit policy. If we REALLY believed that life was more valued than money .... the national speed limit would be 10 MPH. This would practically guarantee an end to highway or auto related fatalities. The speed limit is NOT 10MPH, however, except for very unique and limited situations. Also, speed regulation or mitigation, if you want to use a metaphorical term, is not the same nationwide. Some states set their highway limit to 55. Other, like parts of Utah, have limits up to 80 MPH. These policies practically guarantee additional lives will be lost.

We tolerate those losses, however, because it is neither practical nor cost-effective for us to restrict our travel to just 10 mph. So, in essence, we put a price tag or value on the lives that would be lost by the increased limits. Now, everyone knows that it is much more complicated than a simple economics lesson .... but therein lies my point.

Currently, the US has set a metaphorical 10 MPH national speed limit on this disease. It is neither practical nor sustainable. It has also caused an irrational over-extension of the true risks of this disease. People are reading into the disease . . . risk that is neither real . . . nor realistic. It is naive and foolish to set the same policy for people who live in a population density of a city like NYC with those who live in a community like Logan, UT. Yet, that is exactly what we have done.

We understand this disease very well. It can ONLY be transmitted by infected droplets (spittle) which are subsequently passed from one human to another. The only medium of transfer (as far as we currently understand) is by transferring those droplets from whatever surface on which they were deposited, to either our eyes, nose, or mouth (mucous membranes). You simply cannot breathe in this disease. You also can lay your hand in a large pool of infected droplets and .... provided you wash your hands very well before touching your mouth, eyes, or nose (or other surface area) you will not become infected. The media and others would have us believe there are only two solutions: keep everything shut down or trade lives for dollars. This is patently false.

At some point we are going to have to go back to work. It will happen before it is completely safe to do so. We will necessarily have to maintain prudent precautions such as either social distancing or wearing masks and gloves, and frequent hand washing. Sick people, immune-suppressed people, and the elderly will probably need to remain isolated. There will likely need to be more restriction on higher density populations ... at least for a time. Everyone else will need to be careful and make intelligent decisions about risk. Handshaking may be lost forever. This is complicated because asymptomatic people are in the community and can spread the disease. Also, the incubation period (pre-sickness) can be as long as 14 days. This means that often times people who are sick will be out spreading the virus to others without even knowing they are sick.

How is any of this relevant to the swinger community? Look - this is a community of risk takers. We all set our limits of and tolerance for risk. For some, this translates to a decision to only play via soft swap. For others, they play only with the religious use of condoms. Others only play with partners they have known for extended periods of times and with some exclusivity. All of these measures are prudent attempts at mitigating risk .... but let’s be clear .... none of these measures guarantees us of being protected from a potentially life/threatening or, at the very least, a life-altering STD much less Covid-19. Sorry for the boner killer.

So what do we do? We determine our own rule or play book. We mitigate risk to the best of our knowledge and understanding ... but not to the extent it takes us completely away from what we treasure about this community.

My point is that at some point I predict we will ALL find our lane ... our level of risk tolerance. We will have to assess each situation separately. We will each have to make our peace with our individual tolerance for risk ... or give up the pleasures of this lifestyle. This disease is not going to go away any time soon - and even if it did . . . new diseases will emerge.

For most, it (Covid-19) poses no life threatening conditions. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees in life. Evil is correct in stating that most of us would be OK with getting infected ourselves .... what we don’t want to live with is infecting someone else that results in their hospitalization or death - or that of their loved ones. Unfortunately, the disease will likely be part of our community for the next 18 months or beyond. I know that will not be favorable news.

There are reasons for optimism, however. We do understand the protein receptor that unlocks the door to cells so that the virus can infect them. This opens up the possibility/probability that we can attach the same key-unlocking protein to another virus that is non-lethal or even fails to cause any noticeable symptoms - thus creating a vaccine. The curve is flattening so some will wait until the risk of overwhelming our hospitals and ICU units is mostly past.

In Utah, our peak appears to be at least 2 weeks away. Summer and warmer weather appear to melt the disease so that the droplets are infectious for much shorter periods of time - but we still don’t know the answer to that definitively and won’t for 2 - 3 months.

So what is it going to take? I think it’s a question all of us should be asking ourselves. It is a question best answered individually based on each person’s individual risk factors (age, age or immune status of parents or loved ones,) and their tolerance for risk. These are necessarily very personal decisions.

My hope in sharing all of this (sorry for the length) is to help people more accurately assess their own risk tolerance and their true risk situation. For some - they will decide they have already self-quarantined for >14 days without symptoms so they are ‘safe’. They will decide to play selectively with others who are similarly situated exposing themselves and their partners to a very limited, but known risk. Others will decide they have parents or loved ones that need their care and they simply cannot take the risk of carrying something home to them by playing with a potentially infected partner. At the end of the day .... whenever you decide to venture back into ‘active play’ it will have to be with extreme caution and with a high degree of trust in the integrity and honesty of whomever you play with .... as has always been the case.. it should also go without saying that it should also come with a certain amount of pre-forgiveness .... because mistakes will be made (hopefully none on purpose),

SweetH and I wish you all well on your journey. Please stay safe. Know that we wish you well regardless of where you are on this journey. Eventually this will all pass and we can move onto the next crisis. Hopefully this has not offended anyone - certainly not my intent. Sorry about the limp dicks and dry vaginas resulting from this post. 😂

We are anxious to get our old lives back.

We don’t fully trust info we hear or read - not from political skepticism but because we think all actors (docs, researchers, politicians, bureaucrats, and (maybe) even the media are trying their best to unravel this shitshow.

Ok, maybe not the media.

Hope to see our friends soon! The sooner the better!!!

SweettAndH wrote:


Sorry about the limp dicks and dry vaginas resulting from this post. 😂

As you SHOULD be! We expect you to remedy that situation PERSONALLY just as soon as they sound the "all clear" signal. And, for us, wearing N95 masks during meetings and/or hot, hardcore sexual encounters will only HELP, since people won't be able to see what we actually look like.

EVILDOERS wrote:

SweettAndH wrote:


Sorry about the limp dicks and dry vaginas resulting from this post. 😂

As you SHOULD be! We expect you to remedy that situation PERSONALLY just as soon as they sound the "all clear" signal. And, for us, wearing N95 masks during meetings and/or hot, hardcore sexual encounters will only HELP, since people won't be able to see what we actually look like.

That is very expensive lingerie!!!