. Why are people so flaky, why cant people just tell you how they're feeling about you . Why do they have to string you along for 2 weeks and then all the sudden then say that 1 of them wasn't feeling you. After they ghost you for 2 weeks , we are learning that ghosting is very popular in this lifestyle instead of just saying Hey thanks for the like thanks for the interest but we're just not feeling it I wish you the best.
Welcome to our club, we start a conversation and after some exchanges, gone or no communication. Manners are important.
Welcome to swinging! LOL It didn't USED to be this bad (And feel free to "Okay, Boomer." me anytime during this little rant. lol). Back in the day, it was quite a bit more labor-intensive to find and connect with people so people actually looked FOR reasons to play rather than looking for reasons NOT to play.
Now, with more people a simple click away it's just a little too easy to constantly be looking for the BBD (bigger, better deal). If you've ever been to an on-premises swing club there will almost always be that ONE couple constantly watching the door. A hot couple will walk in and they will check them out, discuss them thoroughly, and then go back to watching the door looking for an even better, hotter couple. They always end up going home disappointed because they can never quite pull the trigger and pick a couple.
And on top of all that, yeah, lots of people are flakes. LOL
Now, with more people a simple click away it's just a little too easy to constantly be looking for the BBD (bigger, better deal). If you've ever been to an on-premises swing club there will almost always be that ONE couple constantly watching the door. A hot couple will walk in and they will check them out, discuss them thoroughly, and then go back to watching the door looking for an even better, hotter couple. They always end up going home disappointed because they can never quite pull the trigger and pick a couple.
And on top of all that, yeah, lots of people are flakes. LOL
Hi guys - at the risk of avouching our own experience as the defacto experience in the lifestyle - and also at the risk of be eviscerated online, we confess that we have inadvertently been THAT couple . . . very occasionally. When we say 'inadvertently' - what we mean is that we can go weeks without looking at our inbox or reading through the forum postings. Shame on us. We apologize to anyone that didn't get a timely response from us - it does NOT indicate a lack of interest, we will respond to people we are not interested in fairly quickly and tell them as much.
Sometimes, for unknown reasons (to us at least) we receive undeserved attention to our profile . . . and just got overwhelmed. Before we respond to a couple - we like to talk and discuss their profile . . . which means reading ALL of it. We like to think about our response - sometimes this results in a longer-than-anticipated response time . . . which embarrasses us . . . so we further procrastinate our response . . . and then, you know, you miss 'the window'.
We too have had our share of messages not returned . . . we just assume you are all like us. Like most of you, this is a hobby . . . a wonderful addition to an already busy and chaotic life. We believe you are correct in that common decency really does suggest we should be more responsive - and we are trying to be. In 2020 - we are trying to respond within 24 hours. That seems reasonable - and we have committed to responding . . . even if it is a polite - "we're interested, but we need more time". We agree that ANY response is better than no response.
Like many couples we have met - our activity in the lifestyle ebbs and flows. There are times when we genuinely would love to go out with a couple once or twice every week. Then again, there are other times when other life issues cause our ability to be more active . . . . wanes.
When we have existing relationships with whom we are active . . . we may go months without pursuing a new or renewed friendship - that is simply because we always prioritize people with whom we have a friendship over any new relationship - we cherish those relationships. They come first for us.
Don't know if this completely explains ours and other's behavior - in general we find people in the LS to be authentic, kind, and fun. Most of the time, we wish we could spend ALL of our time with these types of people (not just in 'playtime', but ALL the time). Unfortunately, we still need to run our business, we have children who need attention, and parents who need our care. These needs ebb and flow as well . . . all of which contribute to the rich fabric of our lives.
To anyone awaiting a response from us - so sorry, we will try to be better. To those who have not responded to us - please don't be embarrassed - we get it, and we hold no ill-will. To our friends in the LS . . . we love and cherish you!
Good post 'couple4pfun2020' - its a fair question that we should all ask ourselves.
Sometimes, for unknown reasons (to us at least) we receive undeserved attention to our profile . . . and just got overwhelmed. Before we respond to a couple - we like to talk and discuss their profile . . . which means reading ALL of it. We like to think about our response - sometimes this results in a longer-than-anticipated response time . . . which embarrasses us . . . so we further procrastinate our response . . . and then, you know, you miss 'the window'.
We too have had our share of messages not returned . . . we just assume you are all like us. Like most of you, this is a hobby . . . a wonderful addition to an already busy and chaotic life. We believe you are correct in that common decency really does suggest we should be more responsive - and we are trying to be. In 2020 - we are trying to respond within 24 hours. That seems reasonable - and we have committed to responding . . . even if it is a polite - "we're interested, but we need more time". We agree that ANY response is better than no response.
Like many couples we have met - our activity in the lifestyle ebbs and flows. There are times when we genuinely would love to go out with a couple once or twice every week. Then again, there are other times when other life issues cause our ability to be more active . . . . wanes.
When we have existing relationships with whom we are active . . . we may go months without pursuing a new or renewed friendship - that is simply because we always prioritize people with whom we have a friendship over any new relationship - we cherish those relationships. They come first for us.
Don't know if this completely explains ours and other's behavior - in general we find people in the LS to be authentic, kind, and fun. Most of the time, we wish we could spend ALL of our time with these types of people (not just in 'playtime', but ALL the time). Unfortunately, we still need to run our business, we have children who need attention, and parents who need our care. These needs ebb and flow as well . . . all of which contribute to the rich fabric of our lives.
To anyone awaiting a response from us - so sorry, we will try to be better. To those who have not responded to us - please don't be embarrassed - we get it, and we hold no ill-will. To our friends in the LS . . . we love and cherish you!
Good post 'couple4pfun2020' - its a fair question that we should all ask ourselves.
For us the frustration is that we start a cool conversation, everything looks cool and next, no replies or comments to such things like good morning. Strange. Manners and politeness are crucial.
It's so ridiculous I can understand of people don't always connect. But if you go and meet somebody have a couple drinks everything seems to go well they say can't wait to see you again will be in touch and then completely ghost you for 2 weeks. And then they tell you well sorry the wife wasn't feeling it with you . I guess it sucks having such a sexy woman and me be in the ugly duckling
That's how I feel I understand people are busy hell right now my schedule is 7 days a week 12 hours A-day sometimes I even get a 100 hours a week but I still find time to communicate and talk to people that have already established relationships with and if I'm not interested in you I to simply say Hey we're just not feeling it's the right fit nobody wants to hear that but that's better than being strung along for 2 weeks thinking like all Hague we found a cool couple
some people don’t know how to react to these situations. I know for us we just will ignore if we’re not feeling it. Probably not the best way to handle it but you’ll find out being in the lifestyle that not everyone will react the way you think they should.
A_G1978 wrote:
some people don’t know how to react to these situations. I know for us we just will ignore if we’re not feeling it. Probably not the best way to handle it but you’ll find out being in the lifestyle that not everyone will react the way you think they should.
And to add to this (and play a bit of Devil's advocate) there are plenty of TOTAL douchecopters in the lifestyle who react VERY badly to rejection, no matter how kindly it's offered. After you've encountered about one or two dozen of those types of people you become a little gunshy about communicating with people you don't feel a connection to beCAUSE you're not certain how they will react. We once met a guy who was SO UTTERLY PISSED OFF that there wasn't a connection that we finally had to get ADMIN involved.
This will always be an issue in the lifestyle because people are unable to be honest with themselves or they are afraid to be honest with others. We met a couple last year and thought the evening went great, we would have even been up for getting naked that evening. They were not ready and thats ok but then they proceeded to not respond to follow up email. Oh well shit happens and while we might be disappointed it’s only for a moment and then we move on.
People will just be the way they are and if you need an explanation then you invite an aspect to swinging that has no fun in it. Come on people buck up and move on...somebody out there wants to fuck you. Patience and tenacity are necessary for swinging and never let anything bother...at least not too much.
People will just be the way they are and if you need an explanation then you invite an aspect to swinging that has no fun in it. Come on people buck up and move on...somebody out there wants to fuck you. Patience and tenacity are necessary for swinging and never let anything bother...at least not too much.
SKICOUPLE wrote:
This will always be an issue in the lifestyle because people are unable to be honest with themselves or they are afraid to be honest with others. We met a couple last year and thought the evening went great, we would have even been up for getting naked that evening. They were not ready and thats ok but then they proceeded to not respond to follow up email. Oh well shit happens and while we might be disappointed it’s only for a moment and then we move on.
People will just be the way they are and if you need an explanation then you invite an aspect to swinging that has no fun in it. Come on people buck up and move on...somebody out there wants to fuck you. Patience and tenacity are necessary for swinging and never let anything bother...at least not too much.
Couldn’t have said it better!!
Thanks #A-G1978.
Glad we are not alone in having this attitude.
Glad we are not alone in having this attitude.
Try being a unicorn . I am about done.
SKICOUPLE wrote:
This will always be an issue in the lifestyle because people are unable to be honest with themselves or they are afraid to be honest with others. We met a couple last year and thought the evening went great, we would have even been up for getting naked that evening. They were not ready and thats ok but then they proceeded to not respond to follow up email. Oh well shit happens and while we might be disappointed it’s only for a moment and then we move on.
People will just be the way they are and if you need an explanation then you invite an aspect to swinging that has no fun in it. Come on people buck up and move on...somebody out there wants to fuck you. Patience and tenacity are necessary for swinging and never let anything bother...at least not too much.
That’s wisdom!
1DIVA wrote:
Try being a unicorn . I am about done.
We have met a few unicorns on this site even though my wife is not bi. All really wonderful women and some I have spent some quality time with. I can see why dating couples vs just another guy can be cumbersome. The connectivity we have today allows others to participate in way that can be disingenuous and it’s just sad when it turns out to be inauthentic.
Never give up, always be curious and always be cautious. You never know when a good time awaits you.
A_G1978 wrote:
some people don’t know how to react to these situations. I know for us we just will ignore if we’re not feeling it. Probably not the best way to handle it but you’ll find out being in the lifestyle that not everyone will react the way you think they should.
well to me I wont ignore, I feel if you already established communication and change tour mind its respectful to just say it and not leave people hanging. Yes in the beginning if you get a request I can see ignoring then
Totally agree with you, thanks
I do not believe the private message that you shared rises to the level of a need to warn others. I think private exchanges should remain private unless it rises to the level of threatening, harassing, or potentially dangerous. Just my opinion.
wow how classless are you we have not blown up you inbox at all. you accepted out request to be friends we have had 0 conversation , my first message to you was we should get drinks sometime and you said you were not interested without one conversation with us. I simply asked why. But thank you this is perfect example of what I'm talking about. We are real we are ready to meet and have fun . we are s sexy couple that are what we say we are . we do what we say we do. we message everyone back and dont keep anyone waiting .
A_G1978 wrote:
This message is to warn others of this couple and how they act if you’re honest with them. A few days ago they sent us a friend request. We usually accept all and accepted theirs. They then sent us a few messages and after seeing their pictures we just weren’t interested in chatting or meeting so we didn’t respond to any messages they sent to us over the weekend. Then today I commented on their post, right after that they sent us a message asking if we would like to go out for drinks. Since he wanted an honest answer I told him we weren’t interested. Since then they have been blowing us up. Here is a screenshot of the kind of messages we’re getting. Please beware of them if you are honest! I have asked them to leave us alone.
And you attach that screenshot as proof that we are bad...lol what did we ever say wrong to you?
BasicCouple wrote:
I do not believe the private message that you shared rises to the level of a need to warn others. I think private exchanges should remain private unless it rises to the level of threatening, harassing, or potentially dangerous. Just my opinion.
thank you we never sent anything to them but ask them to get drinks. After they saw our pic they didnt want us...lol yeah look at my wife and say that again
A_G1978 wrote:
This message is to warn others of this couple and how they act if you’re honest with them. A few days ago they sent us a friend request. We usually accept all and accepted theirs. They then sent us a few messages and after seeing their pictures we just weren’t interested in chatting or meeting so we didn’t respond to any messages they sent to us over the weekend. Then today I commented on their post, right after that they sent us a message asking if we would like to go out for drinks. Since he wanted an honest answer I told him we weren’t interested. Since then they have been blowing us up. Here is a screenshot of the kind of messages we’re getting. Please beware of them if you are honest! I have asked them to leave us alone.
And you accept all request? Why? We have public pics You said after you saw are pics you went interested, but you can see our pics before you accepted...hmmmm. Why would you accept all request if not interested that seems to not make sense. I don't go but stuff at the store I'm not interested in. So whomever reads this believe them or not . We are real and ready to meet awesome people that are real . We respond to all messages. We accept Friendship request to people we want to get to know....NOT EVERYONE THAT SENDS US ON JUST TI IGNIRE THEM. We are both fun athletic people ready to enjoy life . Sorry if I call out bullshit when i see it.
A_G1978 wrote:
This message is to warn others of this couple and how they act if you’re honest with them. A few days ago they sent us a friend request. We usually accept all and accepted theirs. They then sent us a few messages and after seeing their pictures we just weren’t interested in chatting or meeting so we didn’t respond to any messages they sent to us over the weekend. Then today I commented on their post, right after that they sent us a message asking if we would like to go out for drinks. Since he wanted an honest answer I told him we weren’t interested. Since then they have been blowing us up. Here is a screenshot of the kind of messages we’re getting. Please beware of them if you are honest! I have asked them to leave us alone.
And you accept all request? Why? We have public pics You said after you saw are pics you went interested, but you can see our pics before you accepted...hmmmm. Why would you accept all request if not interested that seems to not make sense. I don't go but stuff at the store I'm not interested in. So whomever reads this believe them or not . We are real and ready to meet awesome people that are real . We respond to all messages. We accept Friendship request to people we want to get to know....NOT EVERYONE THAT SENDS US ON JUST TI IGNIRE THEM. We are both fun athletic people ready to enjoy life . Sorry if I call out bullshit when i see it.
The OP has not a single photo of the male half in their public photos. As I understand this thread, the OP sent a friend request that was accepted. But then they were ignored. When the couple told them they weren't interested, presumably after seeing the private photos, the OP got upset and belligerent, and then started this thread about flakes.
Think about it a minute. Without a single photo of the male half, how is any couple going to be able to judge whether they want to meet? Accepting a friend request is one way to see the male half to make an informed decision. You can't then demand that they meet you just because they accepted the friend request. Post some representative photos, develop some manners, and you may have less of a problem with "flakes". Just my two cents worth.
Think about it a minute. Without a single photo of the male half, how is any couple going to be able to judge whether they want to meet? Accepting a friend request is one way to see the male half to make an informed decision. You can't then demand that they meet you just because they accepted the friend request. Post some representative photos, develop some manners, and you may have less of a problem with "flakes". Just my two cents worth.
Hey guys is this really worth it. Move on and just say oh well. More people on this site to meet and the back and forth drama on the forum is not the place for they did this and they did that.
Block each other and forget about it.
Block each other and forget about it.
Hahaha, we have gotten messages from.other people that you friended and you never respond.....flakes
SUNRISE wrote:
The OP has not a single photo of the male half in their public photos. As I understand this thread, the OP sent a friend request that was accepted. But then they were ignored. When the couple told them they weren't interested, presumably after seeing the private photos, the OP got upset and belligerent, and then started this thread about flakes.
Think about it a minute. Without a single photo of the male half, how is any couple going to be able to judge whether they want to meet? Accepting a friend request is one way to see the male half to make an informed decision. You can't then demand that they meet you just because they accepted the friend request. Post some representative photos, develop some manners, and you may have less of a problem with "flakes". Just my two cents worth.
I don't have pictures in the main profile pic because I have a public job. And we all know it's the women who drive the connection and that is why you accept the friend request because you thought the wife was hot. There are plenty of profiles with just the women until you get to the private add at any time after you accept the friend request and you saw the pictures you could have removed us as friends immediately but you didn't you stayed friends with us for 4 days I sent you 3 messages until I asked you out for drinks there was not a shit ton of messages, until today to call you out in your bullshit. How about we ask everyone at strength with you on on how many of these people of actually talk to you. And ask everyone at his friends with us how many of them have heard from us every single person that I am friends with we have had some sort of conversation with. Because your personalities look like dogs shit!
SUNRISE wrote:
The OP has not a single photo of the male half in their public photos. As I understand this thread, the OP sent a friend request that was accepted. But then they were ignored. When the couple told them they weren't interested, presumably after seeing the private photos, the OP got upset and belligerent, and then started this thread about flakes.
Think about it a minute. Without a single photo of the male half, how is any couple going to be able to judge whether they want to meet? Accepting a friend request is one way to see the male half to make an informed decision. You can't then demand that they meet you just because they accepted the friend request. Post some representative photos, develop some manners, and you may have less of a problem with "flakes". Just my two cents worth.
I don't have pictures in the main profile pic because I have a public job. And we all know it's the women who drive the connection and that is why you accept the friend request because you thought the wife was hot. There are plenty of profiles with just the women until you get to the private add at any time after you accept the friend request and you saw the pictures you could have removed us as friends immediately but you didn't you stayed friends with us for 4 days I sent you 3 messages until I asked you out for drinks there was not a shit ton of messages, until today to call you out in your bullshit. How about we ask everyone at strength with you on on how many of these people of actually talk to you. And ask everyone at his friends with us how many of them have heard from us every single person that I am friends with we have had some sort of conversation with. Because your personalities look like dogs shit!
Agree 100% can be as easy as no thanks instead keep it dragging and we not sure if is app internet connection who now.
Hey guys - let's keep it positive . . . K . . . Please??? This is supposed to be fun. I think the rest of us can see what is going on. No judgment - a genuine disagreement. Onwards and upwards.
SKICOUPLE wrote:
Hey guys is this really worth it. Move on and just say oh well. More people on this site to meet and the back and forth drama on the forum is not the place for they did this and they did that.
Block each other and forget about it.
Truth!
Exactly sometimes you don't know if you should send another message you don't know if the messages are going through because people have said they sent me messages and I have not gotten them. So sometimes a response right away or simply remove me as a friend as soon as you see how ugly I am lol instead of letting it drag on and ignoring everyone's messages which from what I'm learning from other people that you do that a lot how is that good for anybody if you just ignore people. It's an app where a lot of times these things don't work so how do we know that you're even getting the messages how dam hard is it for you to say Hey thanks for the reply we're just not interested right now
Exactly sometimes you don't know if you should send another message you don't know if the messages are going through because people have said they sent me messages and I have not gotten them. So sometimes a response right away or simply remove me as a friend as soon as you see how ugly I am lol instead of letting it drag on and ignoring everyone's messages which from what I'm learning from other people that you do that a lot how is that good for anybody if you just ignore people. It's an app where a lot of times these things don't work so how do we know that you're even getting the messages how dam hard is it for you to say Hey thanks for the reply we're just not interested right now
SweettAndH wrote:
Hey guys - let's keep it positive . . . K . . . Please??? This is supposed to be fun. I think the rest of us can see what is going on. No judgment - a genuine disagreement. Onwards and upwards.
We agree SweettAndH
Please take it off the forum. Venting with drama is not an attractive look for anyone on a swinger site.
SKICOUPLE wrote:
We agree SweettAndH
Please take it off the forum. Venting with drama is not an attractive look for anyone on a swinger site.
I mean, it’s helpful to know who are the dramatic ones. Now we know who to avoid.
It doesn't help if people keep bumping it back to the top by replying.
FUNFINDFRIENDS wrote:
It doesn't help if people keep bumping it back to the top by replying.
BUMP!
