Swingers on Swingular - Swingers Forum - Too Many Fake People Here

WE DON"T BELIEVE IT!

Seems I see this more often anymore. But I don't really believe it. In the interest of generating a bit of conversation about it I thought I'd share our experience.

I think there are probably more real people who "Want to meet and fuck" than one would think. Our experience has been that now we have been in the lifestyle for awhile, meeting is what we do mostly. Fucking? Happens, but not so much. We still enjoy it, of course, but it is not an absolute objective like it once was.

We find attraction to a partner is much more important than it used to be. And no...I'm not talking about "Has to be an absolute hottie", etc. While there does have to be some physical attraction, some of the most fun we've had, has been with ones "outside" of our physical preferences.

I'm talking more about there first having to be some sort of "friend" connection. That could happen on the first meeting, but more often it happens considerably later. But..in the meantime we do enjoy more of a "flirting" type of relationship, even if it never progresses from there.

Another change for us has been that this now makes it even tougher to find 4 people that want to knock boots at the same time....so...we tend to do it separately more often. This creates another problem with our outward appearance. We never have learned to really tell a couple we are not both interested....so....if we are approached from a couple, we tend to most often appear to "flake" on them for lack of really being able to explain we are just not interested in them. Not right..I know..but the truth. We just don't want to hurt their feelings...they may be friends!

How do others deal with this??

TIFFND wrote:

Another change for us has been that this no makes it even tougher to find 4 people that want to knock boots at the same time....so...we tend to do it separately more often.

I agree with all of your post, but in particular this part. As we both moved towards wanting more of a friendship than a one night stand it got harder to find a lasting connection between all 4 of us.

For us it means we are a little more discerning in who we approach or accept friend requests from, than we originally were. We typically prefer to kik together as a couple at first, and then, if there seems to be the flirtation you mentioned we might break off to kik one on one.

That said, nothing has come from that in a few months, so we might need to change tactics, if finding someone is something important to either of us.

It's important to remember that you're swimming in a very shallow pond here. There aren't many actual members on this site. It's like growing up in a very rural area where K-12 is all housed in one building. By the time you graduate, you've pretty much fucked everyone that was willing to fuck you.

The actual numbers in your area (meaning REAL people behind the profile) do not support a robust lifestyle community. It's a bit like going to a carnival with only two rides. One you've ridden them, there's nothing left to do.

Sounds like we are on the same page! We host quite a few parties and invite new people to most, so we do meet potential friends and partners in a relaxed, no pressure, setting. But like you, our "action" has been in decline. Not complaining, because we really do enjoy all the friends we've made!

We find that being honest about it works best. If they really want to be your friends they will understand. We are friends with a few people that we don’t feel like we need to play with. I think most are adult enough to understand. Shouldn’t affect a friendship

FIT_N_FUN wrote:

It's important to remember that you're swimming in a very shallow pond here. There aren't many actual members on this site. It's like growing up in a very rural area where K-12 is all housed in one building. By the time you graduate, you've pretty much fucked everyone that was willing to fuck you.
The actual numbers in your area (meaning REAL people behind the profile) do not support a robust lifestyle community. It's a bit like going to a carnival with only two rides. One you've ridden them, there's nothing left to do.

You make a good point, but the pond here is pretty deep! LOL Just done a quick search, and the their are well over 4,000 profiles listed within 11 miles of my house. And that does not include some very large areas north and south of us. I realize many are fake, inactive, etc...but should still be a fair number of them active!

utcouple4play2 wrote:

We find that being honest about it works best. If they really want to be your friends they will understand. We are friends with a few people that we don’t feel like we need to play with. I think most are adult enough to understand. Shouldn’t affect a friendship

Sure...throw common sense and good morals into it! LOL

OK....As a good example of the good folks here....had to change the beginning of the
original post as best I could. WE ARE FINE...not complaining..all is good! LOL

RikoNStarr wrote:

Yes, we have some LS Vanilla friends of ours, entrepreneurs like us who are considering radically changing things up here in controlled and manipulated UT. Things are SO different and more open and real in other states and it needs to be brought here in UT. So many want to engage in the LS on their terms but this site is just not condusive to what we term "targeted LS dating". So many improvements could be made to increase chances of everyone getting what they want. There are so many flakes, fake profiles and seasoned adolescents that only want to continue their online porn anatomy days instead of building long term, true friendships that can lead to a greats swinging experience.
I would like to know if anyone else feels the same? Would be willing to put their money where their mouth is..... improving this for ALL in UT.......?

Sounds like a great lot of fun to us! That said...we tend to be a bit more liberal than most in the valley...
It would seem to me you just might have to drag these folks kicking and screaming into the light. Too many afraid of what other people think. Just saying.

TIFFND wrote:

FIT_N_FUN wrote:

It's important to remember that you're swimming in a very shallow pond here. There aren't many actual members on this site. It's like growing up in a very rural area where K-12 is all housed in one building. By the time you graduate, you've pretty much fucked everyone that was willing to fuck you.
The actual numbers in your area (meaning REAL people behind the profile) do not support a robust lifestyle community. It's a bit like going to a carnival with only two rides. One you've ridden them, there's nothing left to do.
You make a good point, but the pond here is pretty deep! LOL Just done a quick search, and the their are well over 4,000 profiles listed within 11 miles of my house. And that does not include some very large areas north and south of us. I realize many are fake, inactive, etc...but should still be a fair number of them active!

ohman12345 wrote:

Well....I'm real Just throwing that out there!

Pretty sure we are, too...LOL

We're real!

Nakkidfun wrote:

We're real!

I know that for a fact....yep!

We are real, we are a bi couple who loves bdsm. Ed is 49 and Lois is 39. We have kik

So we have been on this site a few years now. We are pretty quiet people really not into big parties but have meet a dozen or so couples and a couple single men about half turned out sexua the other half just a dinner and drink thing. Our question is just how do we go about getting verified as real? Who can verify us? We would love to meet someone that could help us with this.

Here is a different perspective for you. We come here is the winter for about 6 weeks during ski season and swingular has been a great way to meet some really cool folks. Some we get to play with some we dont and for us just getting to meet these nice folks is enough. Some flake out or never follow up and we get it...shit happens.

Of course we are a little older and maybe not as attractive as some would like but we have met some great people on this site in the SLC area. We always realize that not all experiences with other couples is equal...its just a fact in the lifestyle. She may enjoy being with the guy more the he enjoys the girl. Four people will never be equally matched and we accept it and still have a lot of fun.

Just remember attitude is everything and no situation is perfect. Sometime it's good and sometimes it's great and sometime it's what the fuck just happened. It's all in how you choose to deal with it.

SKICOUPLE wrote:

Here is a different perspective for you. We come here is the winter for about 6 weeks during ski season and swingular has been a great way to meet some really cool folks. Some we get to play with some we dont and for us just getting to meet these nice folks is enough. Some flake out or never follow up and we get it...shit happens.
Of course we are a little older and maybe not as attractive as some would like but we have met some great people on this site in the SLC area. We always realize that not all experiences with other couples is equal...its just a fact in the lifestyle. She may enjoy being with the guy more the he enjoys the girl. Four people will never be equally matched and we accept it and still have a lot of fun.
Just remember attitude is everything and no situation is perfect. Sometime it's good and sometimes it's great and sometime it's what the fuck just happened. It's all in how you choose to deal with it.

Actually, I think this is a great attitude! My feeling is that this lifestyle is an adventure. And there are all sorts. The wife and I both do agree with our original assessment of our situation...that said tho, I'm perhaps a bit more willing to step outside of my comfort zone with my choice of partner, than she is....not a problem..just the way it is. Maybe it's that old male DNA that says...."There she is...go get her!" lol This leads right into that old adage...."Taking one for the team" A solution...but a whole new conversation!

We are real, Ed 49, Lois 39. We love bi sex and bdsm. We would like to meet a bi couple. Both of us have kik.

HAOPENGYOU wrote:

Before we moved to the coast 3 years ago, we were pretty active in the Utah lifestyle, and it definitely seemed more active and vibrant than it does now, at least insofar as we can judge from activity on this website. Back then we would regularly do things with the same three couples, all of whom we met on Swingular, and we notice now that two of their profiles are no longer here on this site. So you might be right, although we hope not, because we had a blast with this in Utah.
When we did make the move out of Utah, we switched to another website, as Swingular is strongly Utah-centric. In fact, we've never had a single communication on Swingular from anywhere at all outside of Utah.
Hey, if things get too sparse, come meet us in Portland, which apparently is the #1 swinger city in the country. We had no idea about that when we moved to Oregon, but we're not complaining. Go to Privata downtown if you ever have the chance.
And if you ever tell anyone that you're not interested in a physical relationship with them, and they lose it (happened to us one time), then they're no one you wanted to hang with anyway. You'll do well to be rid of them.
If any of you ever make it to the coast, you're invited to sip wine with us and watch whales from our deck.
Best of luck to you. And Happy New Year.

Our point originally was that perhaps these people aren't really as fake, as they are private. I think the scene here is actually still doing quite well! It's just changing. In our case, we're just not as "out there" anymore as we used to be....And kind of feel like maybe that's true for a lot of folks. And maybe it's our age...we are 10 years older now...and not exactly in high demand. That said...we just may have to do a bit of whale watching in Portland, someday.....

FIT_N_FUN wrote:

TIFFND wrote:

[quote=FIT_N_FUN]It's important to remember that you're swimming in a very shallow pond here. There aren't many actual members on this site. It's like growing up in a very rural area where K-12 is all housed in one building. By the time you graduate, you've pretty much fucked everyone that was willing to fuck you.
The actual numbers in your area (meaning REAL people behind the profile) do not support a robust lifestyle community. It's a bit like going to a carnival with only two rides. One you've ridden them, there's nothing left to do.
You make a good point, but the pond here is pretty deep! LOL Just done a quick search, and the their are well over 4,000 profiles listed within 11 miles of my house. And that does not include some very large areas north and south of us. I realize many are fake, inactive, etc...but should still be a fair number of them active!

Not a fucking chance. That is ALL bullshit. We lived in Draper for years and we're very familiar with the puddle of ACTUAL members in your area. If you have 4000 profiles just in your area, one of the least populated states in the country, this site would be exploding with activity. It's not. Nationwide, this site rarely shows more than 1650 people online at any given time. In the entire country.
Swingular has a bot program that constantly generates fake profiles all day, every day. They're pretty easy to spot. This site is only relevant along I-15 between Ogden and Spanish Fork, with a few stragglers in the region as far as ID, WY and NV. Swingular also activates dead profiles and allows them to show as "being online" when they aren't. The whole thing is a farce. [/quote]

We've been on Swingular since it was a beta. There ARE a LOT of swingers (of varying activity levels) in Utah...probably due to the repressive nature of the local religion as much as anything. We've been active in the swinging community for 30 years here and in a number of different states and can attest to the fact that, per capita, Utah has a comparatively large, active and vibrant swing scene. We've personally met (but not necessarily played with) hundreds of different couples and we're really not all that active as far as attending parties or going to meet and greets or even meeting people thru the site. I don't know for certain if Swingular has "bots" but I'm fairly certain that if it did it would be quite easy to tell by seeing replicated photos, etc. It's easy to reverse Google a photo on Swingular and see if it's a stock photo or taken from another site. If there is another way that you're able to "spot" fake/generated profiles please enlighten the rest of us so that we can see your proof.

Thanks, Evil.

TIFFND wrote:

HAOPENGYOU wrote:

Before we moved to the coast 3 years ago, we were pretty active in the Utah lifestyle, and it definitely seemed more active and vibrant than it does now, at least insofar as we can judge from activity on this website. Back then we would regularly do things with the same three couples, all of whom we met on Swingular, and we notice now that two of their profiles are no longer here on this site. So you might be right, although we hope not, because we had a blast with this in Utah.
When we did make the move out of Utah, we switched to another website, as Swingular is strongly Utah-centric. In fact, we've never had a single communication on Swingular from anywhere at all outside of Utah.
Hey, if things get too sparse, come meet us in Portland, which apparently is the #1 swinger city in the country. We had no idea about that when we moved to Oregon, but we're not complaining. Go to Privata downtown if you ever have the chance.
And if you ever tell anyone that you're not interested in a physical relationship with them, and they lose it (happened to us one time), then they're no one you wanted to hang with anyway. You'll do well to be rid of them.
If any of you ever make it to the coast, you're invited to sip wine with us and watch whales from our deck.
Best of luck to you. And Happy New Year.

Our point originally was that perhaps these people aren't really as fake, as they are private. I think the scene here is actually still doing quite well! It's just changing. In our case, we're just not as "out there" anymore as we used to be....And kind of feel like maybe that's true for a lot of folks. And maybe it's our age...we are 10 years older now...and not exactly in high demand. That said...we just may have to do a bit of whale watching in Portland, someday.....

When we started nearly 10 years ago, we made MANY more connections through this site. Now...not so much. We’ve changed. The scene has changed. I remember bi-guys being afraid to mention it for fear of outright hostility. We now prefer a connection, and to meet first to see if the connection is there, if they are in fact real, and to see if they “creep us out.” We do enjoy finding new friends, even if it is just for the night, all the better of more than that. And just finding people who are a bit more liberated to share some company even if there’s no play involved is also great. We have much more to offer than a good roll in the hay, as do most people, and the hay rolling is awesome, but enhanced by an intelectual and mutual respect.

I figure we just got to old to meet any more or a better way is we get stood up a cpl times a year

#TIFFND just want to clarify we never take one for the team and we both have veto on if we take our clothes off. We also know when we need to decline gracefully. If someone is not happy we depart quickly with an exit strategy.

SKICOUPLE wrote:

#TIFFND just want to clarify we never take one for the team and we both have veto on if we take our clothes off. We also know when we need to decline gracefully. If someone is not happy we depart quickly with an exit strategy.

As it should be, in our opinion.

WILDONEZ is right. The scene HAS changed...fairly dramatically. Why and how is up for debate but in many aspects the OP, and others, are correct in many of their assertions. Of course, so has just about everything else in life. Adapt or die. *shrug* LOL

Everyone can do a search for themselves right now. New members in the last 7 days with photos and you will see on the 5th and 6th page the same woman with multiple profiles. All with different names and ages????

And we were just talking about wine tasting in the Williamette Valley.

We are not as gung ho as we were when we first started, flakes and aftermath drama outweighs a short lived romp. We much more prefer friends we make and connect with....yes its much much harder to find a long lasting thing than a quick romp, but at the same time, I dont really care, we are each others foremost, so no hurt feelings if things do not develop outside of that. If they do, and the stars align, and we find a four/three/whatever connection, where all respect each other, and all click, fantastic!

EVILDOERS wrote:

WILDONEZ is right. The scene HAS changed...fairly dramatically. Why and how is up for debate but in many aspects the OP, and others, are correct in many of their assertions. Of course, so has just about everything else in life. Adapt or die. *shrug* LOL

Hmmmm...put that way...Think we'll keep adapting! LOL

WILDONEZ2004 wrote:

TIFFND wrote:

[quote=HAOPENGYOU]Before we moved to the coast 3 years ago, we were pretty active in the Utah lifestyle, and it definitely seemed more active and vibrant than it does now, at least insofar as we can judge from activity on this website. Back then we would regularly do things with the same three couples, all of whom we met on Swingular, and we notice now that two of their profiles are no longer here on this site. So you might be right, although we hope not, because we had a blast with this in Utah.
When we did make the move out of Utah, we switched to another website, as Swingular is strongly Utah-centric. In fact, we've never had a single communication on Swingular from anywhere at all outside of Utah.
Hey, if things get too sparse, come meet us in Portland, which apparently is the #1 swinger city in the country. We had no idea about that when we moved to Oregon, but we're not complaining. Go to Privata downtown if you ever have the chance.
And if you ever tell anyone that you're not interested in a physical relationship with them, and they lose it (happened to us one time), then they're no one you wanted to hang with anyway. You'll do well to be rid of them.
If any of you ever make it to the coast, you're invited to sip wine with us and watch whales from our deck.
Best of luck to you. And Happy New Year.

Our point originally was that perhaps these people aren't really as fake, as they are private. I think the scene here is actually still doing quite well! It's just changing. In our case, we're just not as "out there" anymore as we used to be....And kind of feel like maybe that's true for a lot of folks. And maybe it's our age...we are 10 years older now...and not exactly in high demand. That said...we just may have to do a bit of whale watching in Portland, someday.....

WifeyNeedsNew wrote:

We are not as gung ho as we were when we first started, flakes and aftermath drama outweighs a short lived romp. We much more prefer friends we make and connect with....yes its much much harder to find a long lasting thing than a quick romp, but at the same time, I dont really care, we are each others foremost, so no hurt feelings if things do not develop outside of that. If they do, and the stars align, and we find a four/three/whatever connection, where all respect each other, and all click, fantastic!

Perfect! Or at least our opinion, too.....lol

We are not real. 😜

We're definitely a bot😜

Im sick of seeing this topic come up!

We have slowed down as well but that doesn't mean we just throw in the towel ;-)
By the way, we are not Bot's

It is frustrating that u start talking to somebody and then suddenly when it comes down to meet they disappear and stop talking we been in the ls for 5 years had great experiences and made some good friends but seems like fake and flakes are getting more common this days we are 100% real and if we make plans to meet we will follow through and dont flake like lots of people here .

We're not real either

We too agree things have changed a lot in the past 10 years. It used to be tough to decide which party we were going to because there were many things happening the same night. There were always lots of big house parties! We even went to TIFFND's place many years ago. Thanks for having us BTW!
We stopped trying to meet people one on one because as mentioned, lots of flakes, or after so much anticipation of meeting, things aren't always as advertised. Ha Ha! We prefer meeting at parties or events because, well, there are plenty of people to meet and if things don't work with one couple, no problem. Meet someone else.

Joe and Debbi

We're real too. Our biggest problem is there is no spontaneity, in that we cannot play without planning ahead. When we lived by Philly or Vegas it was just easy to do a date night, dinner, movies/show and if in the mood hit a club or party or hook up on SLS. Here in UT it takes planning, and with 4 adults, 4 jobs, commitments, etc much more effort is required. I applaud those great people planning meet n greets and hosting parties. But we are real and enjoy meeting new friends and enjoying their company regardless if we play or not. Unfortunately another problem is being in the State at the same time!

Thats a hell of a cup of tea ...😁

Well hello ....I am agreeing with you